I've never been broken up with before. Not unless I counted that one time in second grade when my pretend husband from kindergarten decided to sit with another girl on the bus.

Focusing on breakup clothes and hairstyles wasn't really what I should have been doing. I knew that. Even so, it was the only thing I could focus on without that uncomfortable clenching sensation taking over my chest. That's how I ended up Googling what one wears for a breakup and, in a moment of true irony, clicked the I'm Feeling Lucky button.

The Vogue article that popped up on my screen didn't exactly fit my current scenario. The first sentence, however, seemed especially ridiculous for my current situation.

Our deepest condolences.

There should have been no condolences for me. I never wanted to date this guy in the first place. This should have been a moment of celebration. But I didn't feel like celebrating.

It was probably because this wasn't about to end on my terms. In fact, it would end because I said the wrong thing at the wrong time. Pretty much on brand for me though.

Sighing, I clicked out of the article and skipped through a few other ones that showed up before snapped the screen of my laptop shut. I leaned my forehead against the on top of it and groaned. Whether I wore a sexy outfit that would 'make him regret it', something badass that proved 'I didn't need no man', or a soft and sweet combo that would make it 'hard to break my heart'... It wouldn't matter.

Hearts weren't involved in this. We both knew that there was nothing between us except for a fake relationship.

The lump in my throat was just regret that I hadn't uncovered any secrets or put a stop to Noah Archer's heartbreaker scheme. That was all. It had to be.

I ended up putting on my favorite pair of dark jeans, a purple sweater. It wasn't that cold outside and I already felt myself stress-sweating so I opted out of a coat. My mom had gone out with some friends for dinner and I took the 20 dollars she'd left for pizza from the table, just in case.

This was the first time I was out the door before Noah was set to arrive. Standing around inside was just making me more anxious than I already was but waiting for him so eagerly wasn't making me feel any better either.

Just as I was about to retreat back into the hose, I saw the now familiar sight of his car approaching down the street.

Noah was early too.

My heart started hammering in my chest. Swallowing hard and clenching my fists at my sides, I made my way down to the street where his car slowed to a halt.

Opening the car door took longer than usual, because my fingers slipped from the handle two times before I finally managed to grab a hold of it.

"Hey," Noah said as soon as I settled inside.

"H-Hi," I said and glanced at him.

His hands were clenched against the wheel, eyes focused ahead. That usual smile of his nowhere in sight.

I bit down on my lip and turned to look out of the window when he started driving. The silence in the car seemed to slow down time. It was strange. Sitting here, in this seat I'd just started getting used to, and not saying anything.

When he turned and started driving down a road surrounded by trees on the side, he didn't joke about not driving me somewhere remote to murder me. I didn't warn him about my friends finder app being on.

The silence stretched between us, two strangers sitting next to each other.

I rubbed at my chest, trying to alleviate the painful feeling blossoming there.

He parked the car at a spot I was remotely familiar with. An area overlooking the town where people often went when they wanted some privacy. Only in those cases the privacy was needed for something completely opposite from a break up.

Seconds ticked away. I looked at him and his face still stared straight ahead, hands clucthing the wheel as if it was a safety blanket.

Odd. Considering how many times he'd broken up with people this year, one would think he was an expert at it.

"Um,"

"I–,"

We both spoke at the same time. Noah finally looked at me, the side of his lips twitching as if he wanted to smile before glancing away.

"Go ahead," he said.

"You first," I said at the same time.

We looked at each other and laughed. Clearly I wasn't the only one feeling awkward in this situation. That made me feel fragment better. Then his face got serious and he ran a hand through his hair. The anxious feeling returned.

"I'll go first then. There's something I have to say," he muttered glancing everywhere but at me.

This was it. I braced myself for his next words. Lump in my throat. Heavy feeling in my chest.

"I wanted to–," break up with you. "–apologize."

Say what?

My mouth opened but no words came out. Noah looked at me, scratched the back of his neck and sighed.

"I'm sorry for how I acted and what I said. It was kind of an asshole moment, I'm not proud of it. Especially after what you probably went through with that... with Jacob. You didn't need that from me. So yeah, I'm sorry." Noah kept talking, his voice low and cracking occasionally.

I blinked several times. This was nothing like what I expected him to say.

"I–um– I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have brought the whole love dilemma into the argument..." I stammered, and bit down on my bottom lip. "Wait, does that mean you didn't bring me here to break up?

"What? Break up? No, of course not." Noah frowned, tilting his head. "Why would I break up with you?"

The relief that flooded me was entirely unexpected. It was like the knot in my throat had untied and I was able to take a real breath for the first time since the fight in the school.

It seemed that I wasn't about to be the first girl he broke up with after only one week, and it was almost too hard to ignore how happy I was about that. Concerning. But not something I was going to focus on now.

"Uh, I don't know, I– Why are we here then? Did you just want to apologize?"

Honestly, that could have just been said in a text message or over a call instead of making me having mini heart attacks until now.

"No. I wanted to tell you something else," he rubbed his hand down his face. "Do you mind if we go outside, get some air?"

"Not at all."

I opened the car door and stepped outside, walking to the front of the car and leaning against the hood. Noah joined me, his hands stuffed in his pockets. He let out a sigh and thew a glance at me before he spoke again.

"The whole thing with Jacob is getting out of hand, so I thought you deserved to know the truth of why... Why he hates me so much. I haven't really told this to anyone before so I just hope..."

It seemed like speaking was hard for him, and for a second I considered telling him he doesn't have to say anything. But knowing how much it probably took for him to get to this point of wanting to share this with me, I couldn't bring myself to tell him that and dismiss his effort.

"I won't ask you not to hate me when you hear this. I just... I hope you won't. But I'll understand if you do. He certainly does." He stammered, running one hand through his hair before placing it on the hood of the car.

It shook lightly and his tone coupled with the obvious nerves wrecking through his body made me reach out and take his hand in mine.

He looked up at me, sad eyes full of hope and I offered him a small smile. "I won't hate you. Trust me, I tried but it seems like you're unhateable."

Noah's lips curled on the side a little but the movement didn't alter the somber mask that covered his face. His fingers entwined with mine and I gave him a little squeeze of encouragement.

"How well do you know Jacob? His family life?" he asked.

"Not that well. I just know his parents are divorced and he lives with his dad."

Noah nodded, as if that was answer enough for what he wanted to know.

"Yeah... Back in middle school, me and Jake were best friends. I know, hard to believe right?" The corner of his lip pulled up in an ironic smile when he saw my shocked expression. "We were best friends for years. So close even our families would hang out together. Playdates, barbecues, even took a weekend trip to Disney World once."

"But that all changed a little over three years ago when his dad came back home from a business trip early and found his wife in bed... with my dad."

I wished I was better at controlling my reactions because the gasp that I let out made his head drop lower.

"Yeah. I know. His parents got a divorce after that. I think his mom expected my dad would get a divorce too and the two of them would be together but... That's not what my dad planned at all. I didn't know that at the time but this wasn't the first my dad had cheated. He'd done it before and my mom had known about it. She knew about it and looked the other way." The horror and sadness in his voice broke my heart.

I couldn't even imagine how going through that must have been for him. My parents were away from each other occasionally, but seeing the love between them, even the thought that one of them might cheat seemed incomprehensible. And yet, that was exactly what happened to him.

"Seems like my dad was never serious about Jacob's mom. I confronted him about it once, he said she was... convenient." Noah let out a strangled laugh and shook his head. "He didn't care that his convenience ruined a marriage. And not just that... Jacob's mom, she was serious about my dad. She didn't take the whole thing well. Lost her husband and the guy she was in love with at the same time. I don't know all the details but I know she started drinking a lot... last I heard she ended up in rehab. Apparently a handful of painkillers and alcohol don't mix well together."

Oh no. I didn't want to feel bad for Jake, after all, there was no excuse for his behavior. But, I did feel bad this had happened to him. To both of them. This wasn't something any kid should go through. No one deserved this.

"I asked my mom later why she kept forgiving him and all she told me was love. She loved him. She wanted to believe they could go back to how things were. I tried to persuade my mom to leave him, that she deserved better, and I think I was even getting through to her but surprise surprise, more bad shit happened and... leaving wasn't that easy anymore." Noah inhaled deeply, as if he'd stopped breathing while he'd been telling the story or maybe it was that same rock on his chest – similar to the one I had felt earlier – finally lessening the hold and letting him take a real breath.

I was silent for a second, processing everything and then I frowned. "Wait, but that doesn't explain why Jake hates you? You had nothing to do with any of that. Neither of you did."

Noah shook his head, looking up at the sky. "That's not really true. Not for him. If we'd never been friends, he wouldn't have lost his family. If he'd never met me, he'd have a mom and dad instead of a broken home. Besides, it doesn't help that I look so much like my dad."

"But that's... irrational." As soon as that left my lips, I knew it was a dumb thing to say. People rarely behaved rationally when they were hurt. "Did you try talking to Jacob, explaining it to him?"

"Yeah. But, you saw how well that went. He hates me. Thinks I'm the same as my dad. Wants me to feel the same kind of loss he felt because of me." Noah shrugged, as if he was used to what he was saying and it didn't bother him one bit. But the darkness on his face told me differently.

"This wasn't your fault. And you're not your dad." I said, even though I probably had no right to make that kind of statement. I didn't know his dad, and I barely even knew him. Yet, it still felt like the right thing to say. It felt true.

"You don't know that. Dad loved my mom too, once. Then he changed. And the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"That's the stupidest saying ever," I said, suddenly overwhelmed with anger. Noah looked at me, eyes wide in surprise. "Humans aren't apples. We don't fall from trees. We make choices, we shape our lives, we decide who we are. You don't have to become anything other than who you want to be. You're not your dad. You're Noah Archer. Nothing less, nothing more."

Noah just stared into space, silent and still for a few long moments. He took a deep breath as his eyes bore deep into mine, searching. I didn't know what he was looking for but I hope he found it in the determined strength of my gaze. After a few seconds, he let out a deep breath and shook his head in relief.

"You don't hate me," he stated.

Damn. The amount of guilt he must have felt over everything had to be overwhelming if he thought people would hate him for this.

"Of course not. There's nothing in what you said that's even remotely your fault. Plus, I told you already, you're unhateable."

His lips quirked up, his lower lip slightly shaking with the quick intakes of his breath. And then he pushed off the car, grabbed hold of my arms and pulled me in.

Before my brain could even catch up with what he was doing, he wrapped his strong arms around my waist and held me as close to him as he could. I felt his body shaking lightly, and instinctively I wrapped my arms around him – placing one hand on his nape, and the other on his back.

He took a few deep breaths and when I rubbed his nape gently with my thumb he buried his face into the side of my neck.

My heart hammered so loud and erratic I was sure he would hear it, but in that moment I didn't even care. It was clear he needed comfort. Seeked it desperately. The guilt he had been feeling must have been such a heavy burden to bear.

I hugged him tighter, hoping I could transfer through the warmth of our bodies how desperately I needed him to know he had nothing to blame himself for. His dad's actions were not his own.

We stood there, frozen in a warm embrace for what felt like several minutes. And then he moved his head slightly, just enough to whisper into my ear and send a shiver down my back.

"Thank you, Skyler. For everything." 

Hi loves! ❤️❤️❤️

I know - it's been like a month! I'm so sorry, you know I don't like making excuses so I won't even try it's just... life. It doesn't go according to plan sometimes. I'll try to post one more chapter this week, but I'm not making promises. I need to make a plan for writing this summer in general, and I plan on taking some vacation days so hopefully I can dedicate those fully to writing. 

Other than that... how did you like the chapter? Finally the truth behind why Jake hates Noah is revealed... did you suspect this?

There's still more secrets coming from our boy of mystery but at least this was one of them. 

Also how are YOU doing?

To those of you that finished your school or college year CONGRATULATIONSSSS! I hope you enjoy your summer doing things you love and relaxing. ❤️  ✨

And if you're still finishing up classes... hang in there! You got this! ❤️

In case you missed the announcement on my profile, MATCH MADE IN QUARANTINE will be entering the Paid program -- I don't have an exact date but once I do I will be sure to post an announcement and update you on it! I'll continue editing MMIQ as I have been and hopefully will add some new chapters too, so that will be fun. But in case you can't afford to support my once the book enters Paid and can't earn free coins where you live... you still have some time to read the book! ✨

I'll try getting back to some comments and messages I owe today, but if I can't catch up I'll continue tomorrow. I just wanted to make sure to post this today since you waited so long! 

Love you, stay strong and stay safe! ❤️✨