"why am I in love alone, why am I hurting alone? I need you girl. why do I keep needing you when I know I'll get hurt?

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

the sky is blue and the sun is shining. so my tears are even more noticeable. why is it you? why did it have to be you?"

—

Elianna is happy.

With Jungkook.

The happiness that swarms her insides is what she focuses on as she walks down the street. The looks on people's faces, the crowded paths, the big buildings and the chatter is all a blur to Elianna. Because her mind is consumed by a boy that's hers with dark hair and brown eyes. A boy who loves her.

She tries her best to stop the smile begging to spread across her lips and she looks at her shoes. Elianna knocks into Jin's shoulder as they walk side by side.

Butterflies form in her stomach as she walks alongside one of her best friends. They're walking in silence- both thinking about different things. She's sure Jin is thinking about his next audition or maybe Namjoon and his mixed signals. However, Elianna is thinking about love.

Love and it's influence.

And she doesn't want to call the nervous, thrilled, overjoyed feeling she's experiencing love as she walks to Hoseok's dance studio. Elianna has a habit of keeping emotions hidden, especially when they confuse her or leave her dazed.

She's on her way to watch Jungkook dance for the first time. She's been asking him to show her some moves and he's finally prepared something with the boys for her.

She thinks it's adorable how much effort he puts into dancing and how he's been practising choreography for her especially.

Ten minutes pass as the duo walk on the pavement, they come to a stop as they realise that they're lost, they came with no directions and their friends proved that they were useless. They fish out their silent phones to text the group chat to help them.

After Jin whines loudly for a couple more minutes, Elianna receives helpful directions from Hoseok and they start walking again. Elianna tells Jin off for complaining so much, my legs hurt!- is all the tall man has been whinging about.

They find a plain, white painted building which surprises them by its massive size so much, that they don't notice the tiny boy at the front entrance- Jimin.

The candy floss boy waves his hands at them- an excited smile on his face as he runs towards them. He immediately jumps into Jin's arms as they share a favourable, caring hug.

Jimin sniffles and Elianna smiles as she notices how ill he still looks. She hasn't seen him all week because he couldn't get out of bed. His cherry nose, his weary eyes contrast with his wide beaming smile.

It's now Elianna's turn to be attacked by a hug from the boy. She wraps her arms around him as they rock back and forth. The hug makes her feel much warmer.

Jin wraps his arm around Jimin's shoulder as the three of them walk into the building.

Elianna squeals when she notices a tiny ponytail in Jimin's hair. Why the fuck are you so cute?- she questions.

Jimin leads them to a sparse room whilst maintaining a conversation about dolphins. The door clicks open and the first thing Elianna notices is the long wall covered with glossy mirrors- the other walls are painted white and the floor has wooden floorboards.

The dance studio is bigger than she expected, refreshing too because of the air conditioning. The three young familiar men inside the room look like professional dancers. Their joggers, their hats and their stance, how smooth and cool. It's then that Elianna realises, Hoseok is a professional dancer.

Hoseok embraces her and Jin first, hugging them at the same time and Elianna's head bumps into her best friends hard. "Your massive head hurts, can you not-"

Elianna walks away from her friends, walks past Taehyung, poking the side of his stomach which makes him flinch and to Jungkook. She's about to greet him until Jimin accidentally turns on the music.

"Let's just start, I'm excited." Hoseok jumps up and down.

"Come on, let's watch." Elianna says to Jin who seems lost.

Elianna grabs his forearm and his eyes go wide. "Bitch I can dance too, let me go." And he removes her grip before dancing silly.

Taehyung takes his hands out of his pockets before stopping Jin's ridiculous dancing, which consisted of him waving his arms around and an even more ridiculous facial expression. It made Jungkook giggle so Elianna smiled. " Okay enough of that." Taehyung pushes Jin away and fixes his cap.

"Here's something we've practiced." Hoseok announces and claps his hands together. Elianna compliments his outfit which catches him by surprise. "Christ! Thank you. I love your face." His denim shorts and tucked white shirt with the accessory of a bright random key ring is unique and appreciative. 

Jimin starts to squat, his ivory summer hat falling off his head as Jin and Elianna take a seat against the wall, sitting cross legged. "Let's get it!" Jungkook jumps.

Jungkook won't meet Elianna's burning gaze and it brings a smirk to her lips. He's shy and it's the cutest thing on earth. He keeps fidgeting by not standing in the same spot or walking in circles with his hands in the pockets of his raven shorts, and he's distracting himself with his odd friends by hitting Jimin or Tae. It makes Elianna remember the first time she met him and how innocent, quiet and hesitant he was to talk to her. Both of them never knew what that night would have become. Elianna's chest aches because of the shock she feels at the fact that their shared night grew into something sensational.

As she takes another longing look at Jungkook- she's reminded of what he confessed to her. Maybe that's why he's feeling shy. I love you- rings in her ears through Jungkook's deep, lovely whisper. Suddenly she wants to repeat that day. She wants to whisk him away and lay in bed with him. His presence is all she needs to make her feel better.

The music starts. Elianna nudges Jin to stop dancing and to watch their friends perform. Hoseok has serious skills which is obvious and Elianna hopes that whenever he performs or teaches, he is praised for his talented dancing. Jimin is new to dancing but the effort he puts into the things he's passionate about, shows through his delicate moves. Taehyung moves elegantly and carefully, taking his time as he feels the music. The way his hands move according to the music is satisfying.

And lastly, the way Jungkook moves takes Elianna's breath away. Smoothly, slow but fast at the same time as the music takes him away. His sharp moves are consistent and the way his hands, legs move according to his beautiful body is full of talent. There's no doubt his skills would attract attention. He's so good at everything he does and her thoughts about his complex dancing fades away when she sees her boyfriend do a body roll. She gulps and sits up quickly.

"Urm-"

The music finishes and so does the boys' dance. Jin and Elianna stand up immediately. The boys stand in front of them, sweaty as their chests move up and down- their breathing heavy after dancing.

Elianna is flustered, she feels hot and she never knew all she needed in life was to see Jungkook do a body roll. The look he gives her straight after, a hint of amusement in his dark eyes as he bites his lip, watching her doesn't help her reaction. He's sweaty and out of breath, pushing his hands through his hair which makes her gulp harshly.

"Yes!" Jin beams as he claps loudly- his voice echoic.

Elianna claps too, proud of her best friends and boyfriend. She gives them all a high five before stepping in front of Jungkook.

She meets his gaze as they stand in front of each other, brown meeting brown and once again, Elianna gets lost in the galaxy of Jungkook's eyes. He tilts his head as he waits for her to speak, looking down at her with a warmhearted smile.

"I think your mother would be really proud of you." Is what she mentions after collecting her thoughts. Elianna hopes she said the right thing and from the surprised, cheerful smile that appears on Jungkook's lips, she knows she has.

Elianna believes Jungkook's mother would cheer him on with whatever he achieved in life, support him and help him through decisions, even the smallest ones ... if she was still alive. she would have given every bit of her love to her son, being his best friend and mentor. Jungkook really does deserve all the love and when Elianna looks around the room, taking in the idiotic boys' smiles- she's certain he's showered with love from his good friends.

Jungkook lifts both his hands and Elianna presses her palms against his as they interlock both of their fingers together. He pulls her closer, their hands still raised.

"I love you." Jungkook says. The truth in his voice makes Elianna's eyes close in content. She grips his hands much tighter. They share a passionate kiss that was quite hard to pull away from.

Taehyung choking on his water is what happens next. He choked after hearing Jungkook's three meaningful words which causes them to turn into a state of worry.

"Why the hell are you choking?" Jimin shouts angrily and runs, nearly tripping over Jin's feet before rubbing Taehyung's back.

—

Elianna folds the laundry and places the basket on the kitchen counter. She glances at Jungkook who's sprawled out on her couch- he looks distraught and uneasy.

As she continues to fold her clothes, she asks what's wrong. Jungkook sits up a little with his long legs spread. He tosses his phone beside him lazily and doesn't meet her questioning gaze. "There's something that's been on my mind." He admits.

Elianna is glad she asked, otherwise he would've stayed quiet.

"Go on." Elianna says.

"When I first told Tae about you, he acted like he's known you his whole life. He talked about you like you've had something before. Do you have history together?"

Elianna is taken aback by Jungkook's question. He's interested in something from a long tine ago which means it's been on his mind for a while. The topic of Elianna and Taehyung has never come up before so Elianna clears her throat, walking to her pleasant boyfriend and standing in front of him, ready to tell him a story from the past.

Elianna analyses Jungkook's face as he waits for her response. "He was my first." She breathes out and she notices Jungkook's eyes widening a little. This is awkward, she feels but quickly continues.

"We were each other's first sexual experience." Elianna explains and gulps. Hopefully he reacts rationally to her confession. "It was a no feelings, I'll help you kind of thing where we just ... you know. After that, we never talked about it again. We didn't want to over complicate things or want anything more from each other." She finishes- wanting to keep it short, simple.

What she had with Taehyung was nothing messy. They experimented with each other, decided they didn't want anything complex and went off with their own paths. They stayed as nothing but friends. Elianna can't see a life without Taehyung because he's helped her to grow.

Elianna expects Jungkook to nod and say okay but how he reacts makes her brows raise and her chest tighten. "Who haven't you fucked in this town?" He mutters under his breath.

"What?" Elianna is in disbelief as she thinks for a few seconds, maybe my ears are deceiving me. "Are you seriously implying that I'm a slut?" She gapes at her lover.

"No." Jungkook immediately responds and maintains eye contact with her. "But seriously ... name one boy you haven't fucked."

"Jimin, Jin, what the hell!" Elianna shows her clear anger and shock at Jungkook. "I can't believe you think of me like that. How can you call your own girlfriend a slut?" She clenches her fists.

"I never said that word once."

Earlier on, he said I love you and now he's disgusted by her.

"You didn't have to!" Elianna almost laughs in his face. "I get enough of people calling me names, thinking I'm the kind of girl who doesn't have feelings or a heart. Who does nothing but play with boys. Everyone sees me negatively .. but I choose to ignore that. But how can you ignore assumptions when it comes from the one person you trust, admire and care for?" She shouts.

Elianna wants to tug at her hair and scream curse words. She's never been able to handle her petty anger. "The one person you expect to see you differently, sees you in the same fucking way as everybody else." And it's the harsh truth.

Jungkook stands up. "Elianna I'm sorry-" He starts.

Elianna sees how he reaches out for her but she starts to walk away from him, still mad. "You should be .. just leave me alone."