"if it was for you I could. pretend to be happy even when I was sad. if it was for you I could. pretend to be strong even when I was hurting.

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

I wished that love would only need love to be perfect. that all my flaws would be hidden. in a dream that wouldn't come true. I grew a flower that couldn't bloom."

—

Elianna has always loved parties.

She loved walking out of her irksome house with hysteria buzzing in her veins and strong perfume in the air, on her way to meet her friends. Parties became a part of Elianna's lifestyle from a young age due to the friends she decided to hang out with, they were a bad influence and most of them saw no value of education. This lead to her drinking alcohol, meeting toxic people, dancing like it was her last night on earth, making friends and all the bizarre, drunk things that come along with a party of teenagers ... becoming common in her life.

She enjoys being popular and having a reputation in her small town full of strange people ... it makes her feel prideful. She likes the satisfaction gained from people knowing her and arriving to her parties. Elianna loves having people come up to her, thanking her for the party and gaining compliments for the types of parties she throws.

She's well known for the wrong things and she's starting to realise that this kind of life is not what she wants anymore.

And it shocks her.

This is what her thoughts consist of when she looks at Jungkook from across the room, the boy with a heart of gold and most importantly, the boy she gets to call hers. Who would've thought?- she almost laughs at herself. She hopes she doesn't take him for granted- she's trying not to. He's standing with the boys, a glass of whiskey in his hand as he laughs loudly with no care in the world. For once, he's tipsy and carefree at a party.

Jungkook being drunk is a different side to her boyfriend which Elianna had not yet experienced. She loves exploring new aspects about people. Once again, she's reminded of the fact that everyone has their appearance and their reality, as well as their different sides in different situations.

For example, when Jungkook is happy, his nose scrunches cutely- he finds it hard not to show his content and he usually keeps physically close to Elianna. However, when Jungkook is disappointed or sad, he likes to be alone and he stays very quiet.

Elianna's heart jumps when she hears her boyfriend's laughter, he's enjoying his time with their friends which makes her sip her glass of water with a smile. Elianna is deciding not to drink today which is something she rarely does. Jungkook is more important than getting drunk- she told herself as she declined the cup of alcohol.

Elianna thinks about how she'd rather be at her apartment with Jungkook, instead of at a tedious party with people who are too busy being lovers with alcohol, who don't realise they're wasting their nights away.

Elianna craves to be at home with her human lover, have his sleepy head on her lap as she plays with his shadowy hair, trying her best to make him laugh and smile. She wants to spend time with him, just the two of them, where they discover more about each other continuously, making them fall harder and harder for the destined souls they exposed to each other.

Elianna's chestnut eyes glance around the room where close proximity is normal, she feels stuffy and wants to go outside even though it's raining. She catches sight of Shira and Jin dancing on the dance floor, different from the other strangers. Instead of hands on waists, hands on shoulders and rocking back and forth to love songs, they stand in the middle, waving their hands and legs as they sing at the top of their voices.

Elianna is happy to see them enjoying their time together until she catches sight of Namjoon who's watching them from the top of the stairs. He looks away from them, twirling his drink in his hand as a sad expression forms on his face. It's too late- Elianna thinks to herself. Jin fell in love with Namjoon years ago, but it was unrequited. What Jin feels for Shira is seen as a joke but may actually be hidden, real feelings from childhood.

Taehyung and Jimin who are both dressed in double denim, sit together on the couch- not allowing anyone else to whilst laughing at something on their phones. When Elianna went up to see what was so funny, she saw memes. BROSKI- is what Taehyung shouted, hugging Jimin when he had tears flowing down his cheeks from laughing too hard.

When Elianna's attention is back on Jungkook- she notices how he's in a strange mood. Firstly, he's never tipsy, even his best friend Taehyung found it weird, claiming that it's bizarre. Secondly, Jungkook looks stressed and there's definitely something on his mind. But Elianna wouldn't know, he never tells her anything. Which is why he's turning to lethal alcohol.

Tonight, Elianna talked to Taehyung (who was not having the time of his life because of his infected piercing) about Jungkook, asking if he's okay and if he's got any idea about why Jungkook decided to be bold tonight and drink a lot. But Jungkook appeared out of nowhere, tipsy and giggly as he picked Taehyung up from behind, pushing him away harshly before kissing Elianna, claiming her as his and only his.

Elianna found it stupid. She found it so stupid it made her want to scream at her boyfriend. She is not an object that he can claim whenever and wherever. She should've known her confession about her history with Taehyung would cause problems. She hates bringing up pointless things from the past.

Elianna furrows her brows when she sees Taehyung and Jungkook waving their arms together. It's bizarre because Jungkook has no reason to be jealous. Since Jungkook is the one who told Elianna that Taehyung is still hung over his ex girlfriend, a girl he chose to let go of. The girl and Taehyung apparently tried to stay in contact with a hi how are you friendship but they faded out.

Elianna greets a friend of hers she hasn't talked to in years. It's a friend from childhood who's shoes seem brighter than her future, he'd get on well with Hoseok.

They engage in a conversation and Elianna's eyes find Jungkook's figure as he dances. Their eyes meet through the uplifting crowd and her heart aches more.

His eyes darken- staring at her with emotions that hold jealousy and possession. Elianna gulps because Jungkook stops what he's doing just to study the situation, Elianna talking to her childhood friend. But to Jungkook it's- Elianna talking to a boy who she could potentially hook up with. Jungkook's jealous and Elianna sighs.

Elianna pursues her lips, giving him an unbothered look to piss her boyfriend off more and she fakes a smile, laughing loudly at what her friend had said.

Elianna's piercing eyes drift away from Jungkook- deciding that his jealousy is not worth overthinking about. But when she spots him through the crowd, his beige hoodie coming into sight along with his messy hair and golden skin, her hands turn into aghast fists.

What she sees puts her off guard. How fucking petty of you Jeon Jungkook!- is what she thinks to herself. He's in the company of a girl with blonde shoulder length hair and beautiful azure eyes. It's clear she's into him as lust fills her eyes. There's no doubt the girl is pretty but Elianna feels nothing but fury when Jungkook leans in closer to her, laughing and purposely trying to piss Elianna off.

You really don't trust me, do you?- she thinks and her heart hurts.

"Excuse me." Elianna quickly interrupts, forcing a smile on her flushed face at her friend before taking hurried steps towards Jungkook. Elianna has always been fierce, protective over the ones she ... admired, so she feels no guilt when grabbing her boyfriend's arm roughly- dragging him away from a flirtatious girl who was trying to touch him. She does not feel bad for interrupting their useless conversation.

She brings Jungkook to the side, letting go of his arm as he stands in front of her- confused and still a little tipsy. "What do you think you're doing?" Elianna questions Jungkook, using her hands as a gesture to express her frustration. I can't wait to see what excuse he comes up with, she thinks to herself.

Jungkook scoffs as his perfect brows furrow, leaning back away from her. "Whatever it is that you're doing." He throws back at Elianna.

Elianna stares at the boy consumed with alcohol, in front of her and she tries her best not to laugh in his face. "You're flirting with her!"

Jungkook scratches the back of his dark hair as his tongue skims across his teeth. "So it's fine when you do the same but when it's me-"

Elianna is so tired with the conversation that she stops caring whether or not people of the party, are listening to their talk that turned into an envious argument really fast. "He's my fucking friend." Elianna seethes, glaring at him.

Jungkook scoffs, again. "Yeah that's what they all say."

Elianna maintains eye contact with Jungkook and he eventually looks away when he realises how mad she is. "Wow, you really don't fucking trust me." Her anger fades into sadness and Elianna would much rather break someones heart than be the one feeling emotions and becoming heartbroken.

Elianna hits the side of her thigh, trying to stay collected. "It's fine go on, make her your one night stand just like you did with me."

—

Elianna made her way home after her and Jungkook's trivial argument, she was desperate to go home and cry, Elianna isn't a crier. She didn't bother saying bye to her friends and hopes that none of them noticed her leaving in a rushing mess.

So she stumbles into her house after a ten minute walk, taking in the empty house and the dull hallway whilst she kicks off her shoes. Elianna opens her father's bedroom door to see him sleeping peacefully with her younger siblings, hot tears prick her eyes because of the heavy amount of emotion she's feeling.

Elianna drags herself to her bedroom door and stands there, her breathing uneven- the look on her face is blank as her emotions build up internally. Jealousy, sadness, frustration, anger and something else she can't say out loud, it terrifies her. Tears rush down her cheeks without her realising and usually, when she's angry she feels the need to be violent through actions that involve throwing her possessions.

But this time, she leans her forehead on the wooden door as her eyes squeeze painfully, her fists on either side as she tries to keep in her sobs.

Elianna leaves the house minutes later, deciding that she needs to get out and take another walk. She finds herself at Taehyung's apartment.

She calls herself pathetic when she realises she's still crying and the rough pads of her fingers rub at her eyes, wiping away her tears. She knocks.

"Elianna, come in." A familiar boxy smile immediately makes her feel better.

"Thanks." She says as he opens the door for her and the first thing she notices when walking into his neat apartment is the boy sleeping on Taehyung's couch.

The frustration she felt towards Jungkook evaporates into affection when she looks at him. He's curled up in a ball, lying down on the couch on his side. His mouth is slightly open and his lovely eyelashes are on display. He's still dressed in his clothes with a blanket on top that's about to fall off. Elianna wants to run to him, smooth out his hair, make sure his piercings aren't hurting him, fluff his pillow and whisper the things she wouldn't have the guts to tell him when he's awake.

Elianna follows Taehyung to the table and chairs in the kitchen and they both take a seat. Elianna shuffles awkwardly as she takes in the blue interior of the kitchen. She's surprised to see Taehyung managing his life well, keeping his apartment spotless and organised.

"Are you okay?" Taehyung asks as he leans back in his chair.

Elianna groans, running her hands down her face, allowing her true feelings to be out there. Taehyung is someone she can be honest with and she high fives herself mentally for keeping the guy close to her heart. "Not really ... I hate fighting with him." She admits.

Taehyung hums. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Elianna sits up in her seat with her hands in her lap. It's been a while since she's had a one to one talk with Taehyung. She's one of his best friends and his company never fails to comfort her.

"I'm trying to give the best of me to him and I'm actually trying his time you know. I'm giving my all and  allowing myself to fall in love and things seem to be going wrong." Elianna rants, thinking her words are all over the place. She never knows how to put her thoughts and emotions into words, they confuse and outrage her.

Elianna gulps. "I'm scared." She's been terrified of what she feels for Jungkook for a while now- the emotions are so strong and evident that it leaves her breathless. She's also terrified of what the future holds for the two of them. It's her first proper relationship so the nerves she feels, the racing of her heart, the sleepless nights she has because of her fear, is true.

Taehyung listens, he really listens to Elianna. "Love is meant to be scary. Don't even deny that it's love because it is, you're here after 4 in the morning because you're still thinking about the argument you and your boyfriend had ... so that means something."

Elianna agrees with his rational words but focuses more on the sudden somber expression on Taehyung's face as he looks away from her. His eyes hold sorrow, tiredness as his lips stay in a straight line. The topic of love is a sensitive one, especially for those suffering.

"Speaking of love ... have you heard from Talulah?" Elianna takes a big risk and asks Taehyung. She knows him well enough to know that a part of him wants to talk about the girl he misses and still loves.

Taehyung quickly looks at Elianna- surprised by her question and then he clears his throat. "Urm, fuck I was not expecting that." A shaky chuckle leaves his lips. "I haven't. We haven't talked in forever .. I don't know El, she doesn't care about me anymore and I don't blame her." He admits with honesty.

Taehyung may have broken up with the girl that made him laugh, because of a stupid reason but he did it regardless. We're all human and we make stupid mistakes, we're stupid humans who give love too much importance.

Taehyung felt like he didn't deserve Talulah which is why he broke up with her, because he assumed they wouldn't work out as they would be parting ways and travelling to different towns. It's just not working out lula, we don't need this right now we should stay as friends, is how he broke up with her.

He made a selfish move, deciding what was best for him and Talulah. When in fact, staying with someone who loves you back and figuring things out together, might have been a better move.

"I don't know what to do." Taehyung plays with the loose thread of his burgundy hoodie. The hood on his head covers half of his face, showing his pointy nose mainly and he looks like he's drowning in his autumn coloured clothes.

"I know for a fact that she's waiting for a message from you, just like you are. She misses you too." Elianna says and tries to be there for her best friend, like he's always been for her. "I don't know what to do either." She breathes out- glancing at Jungkook across from them.

"This is just a phase." Taehyung folds his arms across his chest, his profound voice filling every corner of the room. "Every couple argues, it's normal. You're both strong people and I know for a fact that you won't just be another chapter in each other's lives .. as a matter of fact you are each other's novels." He shrugs, shocked by how well his not thought out words came out.

Taehyung's face splits into a smile that shows his excitement. "Which makes two novels for your love story which means two sides to the story so-" and then we have Kim Taehyung being an enthusiastic child who starts to wave his big hands.

Elianna stands up, rolling her brown eyes. She's glad she left her house to come over here since her mood has changed for the better. "Alright Mr Literature, you write a book about us okay? But it's too early right now so shut up." She ruffles his wavy locks of hair on his head.

Elianna walks over to her sleeping boyfriend. She does exactly what she wanted to as soon as she walked in, she smooths out his cloudy hair and crouches down beneath him. She sighs in content, wondering what he's dreaming about and she runs her hand through his hair, stroking the side of his head, admiring the way he looks as always. He seems calm with his eyes tightly closed, his lips parted and his slow breathing.

Elianna admires his sharp features including his shiny, high cheekbones, his button nose and his deep jawline. His collarbone is exposed due to the neck of his black shirt and Elianna's eyes gaze upon the faded scar on his cheek. The way the ends of his hair curl make him look even cuter. I'm so lucky, she thinks.

Elianna leans in, stroking the back of her knuckles down his cheek. "We're really messy but we'll get through it. I know we will." The tone of her voice holds sincerity and determination, she will not let herself lose this man.

Lastly Elianna's burning lips touch Jungkook's forehead and she stands up, leaving quickly.

—

The next day, Elianna is stood with hungover Jungkook who's paying her a visit to her apartment. He came straight from Taehyung's with an empty stomach to talk to her about the long night before.

"I'm sorry." Is the first thing Elianna says to her boyfriend.

She feels strange having sorry leave her lips. It's not something she says too often, she's not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. It also shocks Jungkook as he takes in her apology with wide beige eyes.

"I'm sorry too." Jungkook swiftly replies and reaches out for her as she stays glued to the spot in her living room. "I do trust you, it's not that. I was tipsy. I'm stressed and I don't know what I was thinking." He starts to rant cluelessly.

Why are you stressed? Why don't you talk to me, she wants to shout but all thoughts of taking her frustration out on him disappears when he takes a step towards her.

The proximity between the couple increases as Jungkook cups her cheek, his fingers in her hair as his eyes meet hers. Brown and brown, so dark and shiny. "I want to have nothing but happy days with you." He breathes out.

Me too.

"I want to enjoy life with you." His other hand wraps around her waist and Elianna rests her hand on his lower back. His words are driving her heart absolutely mad.

Elianna smirks, giving Jungkook a look of mischief. "You really think life will allow Elianna and Jungkook to have a forever?"

"I fucking pray for it everyday."

And it's in that exact moment Elianna wants to say I love you.

—

elianna's pov always makes me emotional like I just want to give her the biggest hug

also!! Elianna!! say!! I!! love!! you!! already!!

also TAELULA OMG (if you want to know more about taehyung's past relationship, check out Accidental Group Chat)

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. what are your predictions for julinna's ending? will jk open up? will the two go back to normal?

it makes me so sad that this book will end soon :(

THANK YOU FOR #236 IN FICTION

I hope you all have an amazing week filled with lots of smiles and blessings that involve BTS

I love ya'll thank you for all that you do <3 ty for reading

A.