Tw homophobia, slurs, transphobia, all around bad people, d**th, g*ns, c*tt*ng, hospital rooms, cops

"Anybody have a map?" I sink down into the cushion. Alex, my sweet innocent Alex, well maybe not innocent, but well meaning. He beat up a kid on campus...

I need to see what's going on... I can't do this over the phone, so I get out my car keys... Covered in dust... Martha always teased me that I never drove that car. Now its true. Well, has been true. I see tears hit the dashboard as I slide into my seat. Dust is washed away, revealing one of those stupid scented things Martha would put in here... I need to stay strong. 

Ok who's idea was it to make time go by so slow? After eternity spent on the long winding roads, pulling into the bnb I booked is bliss. Looking at it, hurts... Physical pain, as memories swirl back. Martha, Martha loved small mom and pop bnb's. Even if there was a better priced hotel in town, Martha insisted that we stay in one. I would tease her for it, but I really loved the way her eyes lit up as she talked about how cute the garden was, how nice the family...... Ok George, toughen up I tell myself. I have to put on my angry dad face for when I meet up with Alex. Oh what happened Alex?

*time skip 3 hours*

Musty, sweaty, noises tearing through the air. One thing I haven't missed about interacting with society is public transportation. Pushed around in a crowd of students and workers, enveloping the path. It all feels overwhelming, too much.  I- i- let myself get swept away. After what seemed to be forever and day I saw dorm 1782. Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know. They are grieving too, but I need to channel my inner disapproving Washingdad.

What surprised me most opening that door was the look of resignation on Alex's face. This child, in all my years with him had never gone down without a fight. I remember he would fight everything- "I didn't break the glass, it's your fault you didn't put a wet floor sign!" Martha- Martha always said he'd make a fine lawyer... 

John comes up and puts his arm around my boy, and almost by instinct *snap* another memory. "Alexander Hamilton Washington, why on earth did you beat up a fellow student?!?!" Angry dad voice, I haven't used that one in a while. "D- sir., come in.... We have a lot to tell you." I try to keep up my annoyed look, but something felt off. With Alex seeming resigned first, and now not jumping into fiery debate to try and prove himself right this situation isn't adding up. 

Oddly, there is some, blood? I think? On the carpet... That's weird, the fight took place outside the music department and I was told Alex wasn't injured. I decide to let my clearly flustered boy explain rather than comment on the anomaly.

"Dad, you see that day on campus, a lot of things happened...."

*INTO A FLASHBACK OF ALEX'S POV WE ARE GETTING ANSWERS PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!*

Not again! Thomas Jeffershit, right here... John squeezes my hand. Come on Alex, little lion, the best hunter only strikes when necessary, my inner voice chants. Don't attack unprovoked. I sure dang hate that dumb shade of magenta! Slowly, his pencil twirling around his fingers he advances. I tense up, instinctually. His hand on my shoulder in half a second. 

"F*g, you and your little sinning tr*nny boy don't deserve to live. You are worthless." No one else can hears. No one hears the whispers but me and John. No one sees as he slaps John's leg, right where the burn is... He knows he knows how much he is hurting us. And all the world sees is a group of friends, joking around. John lunges at him pinning him to the ground. AND MY LOVE IS SLAMMED INTO A TREE. I can't stay calm. Little lion, it is time to fight back I tell myself as I watch my hands draw blood. Little lion, he can't hurt you anymore, I tell myself, taking pleasure in his pain. A crowd has gathered. All they'll ever see is an immigrant attacking a born us citizens unprovoked. All they'll ever think is that I am some horrible person...I AM THE PROBLEM. I AM REINFORCING THE STEREOTYPES. Even though I'm not... Hot tears run down mixing with the blood of my torturer. A hand, not my John's grasps mine. Everything goes dark as the adrenaline leaves my body. Limp and useless. All I'll ever be is limp and useless...

A/N

Hi, sorry I haven't wrote in a while....... Idk. This whole book just gets worse btw. I'm a horrible writer- but whatever.

This was hard to write, thanks for reading.