I'd never thought I'd say this, but for the first time in ever pep rally was depressing. Not the scenery that was channeling in front of me, but even the chants wouldn't let my mind take a second off of what Connor spoke last Saturday.

The way his gorgeous lips spoke swiftly the harshest of words. We need to take a break.

Why would he do such a thing? Especially when he knew prom was only a month away.

Either way, whether I had liked it or not, I would have to pretend that Connor and I were perfectly fine and go on with my cheer team with no hesitation. If people knew something had been going on, and Connor and I were having some tension in our relationship it would come out replacing yesterday's old news. But I knew better, the more people know the worse, stay quiet and stay put.

I breathed in heavily and tightened my pony tail taking a look at Mel and Taylor beside me as we walked stood by the gates to the stadium. Pep rally this year had been different, particularly because Jaxon would be in the team this time. Seeing him steal the spot light right off my palms wasn't a pretty picture, but I knew how to steal it right back. I just needed to spread a little attention.

I cheered, looking over at my fellow teammates, all dressed in their short blue skirts, and our yellow tops that screamed Clarison High spirit. The pony tails waved from side to side as they giggled over how their appearance shone over regular average non-cheerleaders seemed. Of course they liked that, the term cheerleader. Being able to sit on that table with attention written all over their foreheads. Laughing to nothing in particular, but somehow making every other person to be with them or be like them. Moving their bodies in gym class to get a boy off the varsity football team to court them. It was all booked in the story of high school. As if things like these were meant to happen, written and tarnished on the stone of ages. It was the circle of life. Who wouldn't want it?

Oh wait, Jaxon. Jaxon Mills never wanted any of it. He was given the silver spoon, yet chose to use the one made of ordinary steel instead. He was ungrateful, nothing he did was for the greater good, but because he thought the best version of himself involved being careless and a rebel. He criticized us for not being real, when I always knew Jaxon wasn't Jaxon.

It would make no sense to explain, but he wasn't always like such. But striving to be me, for a girl was pushing it.

I tighten my pony tail again getting a glimpse of Melissa squealing in excitement over in the corner of the room with Taylor by her side. Of course their hearts had jumped out off their chests, it was the pep rally.  All our late practices end up to this moment. Of course, people had naturally gotten excited.

"Guys, no tripping, no falling, no giggling, no slip-ups" I spoke sternly, before engulfing them all in a group hug. Turn by turn we'd left the gym running out into the open of the football field. Where the parents and football team await us. I felt a shiver run down my spine as I'd entered the environment exposed by such exciting spirits. I could sense the eyes of my parents sitting in the crowd, only to detect my failures and discuss about them on the way home. But my sense had been at fault for they weren't this time. And then I saw Mason's bright teeth shining over at us, I guess he was already warming back up to me. I waved at him, but he hadn't payed any attention to it, I turned around focusing on to where he was. He was waving at Taylor who'd waved back. I furrowed my eyebrows lowering my hand, confused as to why he didn't seem me, but saw 'her', before joining my team on the middle of the field.

Okay.

What was that?

I shook my head, throwing away my thoughts to focus on my big day. I stood at front leading the entire team. I looked over the crowd, once more. I had no intentions of feeling nervous, but I'd felt more relaxed knowing who was watching.

"Like we practiced!" I yelled over the drummers and the booming music. I smiled raising my hands to show off my pompoms.

"Three..."

"Two..."

"One...

I'd been honestly more terrified than shocked, as Jaxon scored more than have the point for the team, I felt confused. He was terrible at football when we were kids, heck, he was terrible at everything. Seeing him play so great hadn't only caught my attention, but Connor's, Taylor's, Mel's...everyone's.

"That guy, what's his name?"

"I don't know, how would I know his name" I quickly spoke acting very much unlike me in front of Taylor who seems not to notice my tiny blemish and continues to gawk. "He is hot"

I couldn't hold it in this time, as I had burst out laughing harder than ever Taylor hadn't found it a slight bit hilarious. I mean I am very sorry people aren't at my level of humor, but Jaxon? Hot?

What's next, Jaxon is popular?

"Just because you're not single doesn't mean you can check out other people Sadie...its totally fine" She mentions as if obvious I'd restrained to call Jaxon hot only because I'd been with Connor not that that ship is floating anyway.

I scoffed, retrieving my cheer bag from my locker and following her out the gym.

"I just don't see what you're attracted to" I shrugged calling over to Mel so we could get the hell out of this place. I was fatigued and wanted to seriously go home, I hadn't felt well mentally and I had completely forgotten to take my anxiety pills.

But of course, I had completely disregarded the after party at Taylor's. All cheerleaders, varsity players and some important people were invited and as if this pep rally wasn't enough, I'd still have to attend that.

It was pretty late and chilly as we'd stormed out of the school meeting Connor and his friends by the parking lot.

"Let's get this party started! And buy some booze on the way" Melisa hypes in the late of the night as she hops onto Liam's car. Taylor laughs along getting into the car. Connor gave out a hand to Taylor assisting her into the front seat, making my heart burn and wither into flakes. Jaxon and Olyen were the extra two standing by the huge Nissan awaiting my entrance so we could all head to the party were everyone else would be waiting for us.

With Jaxon there, things were much more awkward considering that with every word I spoke he'd look at me as if I was saying the wrong on. At last I'd ignored his existence, but still had no motivation to join them to the party,

What would be the point? Me and Connor were still on a break. Jaxon was there. I needed to take my pills. I just wanted to go home. But it was my responsibility, I had to attend this party.  I sighed sucking it up and deciding to join them, but I'd realized that I did really need to go take a pill.

"I think I forgot something. Will be back in a moment!" I spoke alerting all the people in the car as I'd rode off into the school compound again, pacing to the closest bathroom. I rushed finding one by the cafeteria. I oozed out my gym bag and spotted my capsules, pinching one pill out.

I inhaled swiftly before dropping the pill into my throat before swallowing. I calmed myself afterwards. At least no accidents at the party were to happen. But having to still go didn't seem pleasant.

I couldn't say, but I am somewhat afraid. What would there be to celebrate if not with the people that love me? I looked over to the mirror, I looked exhausted, with my front hair strips gliding down to my forehead. I took my hand and simply put them back up.

"Okay. You got this Sadie. You got this" I smiled to myself, as I'd stamped out of the bathroom, on my way to join the others to Taylor's party.

Through the silent and empty hallways, I walked leisurely letting myself cool off, till I'd heard a footstep that dragged the living soul out of my chest.

"What on earth?" I questioned as Jaxon appeared through the late-night shadows of the hallway as if him following me so was completely ordinary.

Which honestly for him, it could be.

"There you are, I was beginning to think you ran away" He laugh trying to crack a joke into the murky evening. Granted, it was not funny nor entertaining.

I forced a laugh, making sure he'd known it was forced. "Jaxon, please tell me you have a reason to be here and you're not just creeping up on me" I questioned suddenly in a change of tone, trying to sternly wonder why he was creeping up in such a place, especially when Connor and the girls were waiting for us.

"I am not creeping up on you, just wondering why you lied" He simply shrugs his shoulders waiting for me to frantically answer. I paused. He thought I lied. How did he have any clue of what I came here to do?

"I didn't lie" I glared his way proving that I hadn't stuttered nor twitched showing I had indeed not lied, and neither was I lying right now.

He laughs. It was a very different laugh. One I haven't noticed before. I laughed nervously trying to play his little game.

"Damn it must be nice to be so much better than everyone else" He squints his eyes showing such extravagant sarcasm the entire world would notice. Of course he thought this was the best time to mention this, but there was never a bad time to praise Sadie Princeton.

I knitted my eyebrows showing my concern to him with my hand agasint my chest I inhaled deeply. "Sometimes it gets tiresome..."

But I'd quickly transitioned to a smile, that had turned later into a smirk. "But mostly, it's pretty freaking great"

That was a slight lie. It wasn't mostly great. I was pretty freaking hard. But I couldn't say that to Jaxon, he shouldn't know nor wonder. We'd stayed in silence as he further squinted his eyes staring into mine. Totally uncomfortable I'd waved him off deciding to keep walking not to stall my friends.

"You don't look too good" He spoke suddenly running to catch up with me.

"And you care because?" I rolled my eyes scoffing against his unattained comment continuing to march away from him.

"I don't. Just stating the obvious", He shot back trying to get me to slow down. I raised my bag to block his face from hulling me by the side.

"I don't need your facts. Good riddance" I waved laughing bitterly almost by the gates.

Jaxon suddenly stopped chasing after me deciding to stop moving. "Suit yourself, but I've got a car waiting for me right there" He spoke of his car, not the one with Connor, Olyen, Liam, Mel and Taylor had been hurdled in. Imaging in Connor hanging out with other girls that weren't me had churned my stomach to the core.

"As long as it drives you the hell away from here" I muttered looking down to take a deep breath.

He began walk again as he finally stood a meter away from where I stood. He reached from my bag, taking into from my hands. Though I had been very confused, I had honestly not minded, for I get this treatment on a daily basis from many people especially Connor.

"Should I be offended?" He laughs making a smile tug its way onto my lips though I'd been a little reluctant.

"I don't know genius you tell me" I roll my eyes gently waving my hands into the air to make my point.

"Want me to take you home?" He questions on random note. Had he gone insane? Did he really think he would say just a few lines to make me bail on my friends and my boyfriend to go home with him?

"No" I laughed. He'd looked at me with an insisting look. I knew he knew that I didn't want to go to the party. I'd bought a dress, got myself prepped, but something hadn't felt right. I didn't want to go, for him it was too easy to bail he didn't need anyone's permission or have an internal argument. But it wasn't as easy for me.

"Won't you miss the party?" I questioned casually.

"Won't you?" He questions back with a cheeky smile making me groan. This boy had issues with angling questions with other questions. But he was right, very slightly. I could make my own choices. It wasn't because he'd asked or because Connor's distancing had declined my boost. But because I didn't want to party today. I just wanted to go home.

I sighed.

"My car is this way" He cuts through my thoughts taking my bag towards the opposite direction I'd initially went to.

"I didn't even say yes" I spoke obvious with a raised eyebrow confused. Cause he knows I don't give in easily. What had made him so confidence I would agree?

"I know, I just read your mind" He shrugs. I'd rolled my eyes following him out.

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Have a wonderful day Lovies!

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