Daily life was back stretching on its usual strings. Well, mostly anyway. Jaxon was completely off my shoulders so the weight was much lighter. Connor and I were once again, Clarison High's it couple serving the society with our public demonstration of a healthy relationship. I was still student body president, cheer captain, prom coordinator, and had successfully organized pep rally, earning an extra grant deposited for our school's prom preparation, due to my consistent and quality of effort. It was prom week, and ballots were out, and from the whispers of it all, prom king and queen would be thrown out to the obvious. So, things were very likely headed my way as to the contrary from the week before, though it would be very fair to say seeing Jaxon everywhere clung onto Willa as they strode behind us during morning hallway strides, lunch breaks and smoothie hangouts did bother me to some sorts. It actually really bothered me. But I couldn't protest, because things were much better in place, and I had no interest in breaking that good luck just yet.

Granted, I should say it again, he didn't belong there, but it wasn't my business and along as it didn't affect me, I didn't care.

At least I tried not to.

"What is with all these mopping faces? Is anybody up for milkshakes afterschool? I know we usually do it" Mel brings up joining the lunch table. I internally groaned not wanting to be hanging out with Jaxon in the same room once again. Yet either way I wouldn't be able to make it. Which in some ways did make things much meeker. Father would be heading for New York in tonight's evening, and we'd had a small bon voyage banquet for his departure, having also called the Mills. Wasn't my idea. But I guess we never get to choose who we get to live next to, I'd hoped at least Jaxon, wouldn't be able to attend the gathering, picking milkshakes with us instead to further get Willa into his soul. And I'd peacefully spend my evening having, celery with wine cooked meat without him face tarnishing it all.  

"I'm up! But I'm bringing a plus one, Seth wants to go to the mall after school so I'm squishing my schedule sadly. Sometimes I really wish there were two of me" Taylor notes, drinking her coffee her eyes glued against her cell phone, as she possibly is talking to him as we speak.

Trust me Taylor, you probably don't want two of you. It is inconvenient, and you'll constantly be taking medication, have anxiety attacks, have a miserable life, and...

Who am I kidding? That's just me.

"Sure, why not. Got nothing else to do" Connor agrees one hand draped over my shoulder. I look at him as he signs for me to join. Unfortunately, this time, he'll be juggling this get together on his own, for I spill not be present, and I'd ask for nothing more.

"I'd love to go. The cheer team usually doesn't go out for pick-me-ups." Willa chirps excited to spend some time with the highest on the social rank. I'd rolled my eyes at her unobserved comment, if my leadership. Dare she question my guidance, if she'd wanted a drink so badly she should've went with her own two feet alone. For all I care she could shove it. I am a cheer captain, not a tour guide.

Luckily that will be the last I hear of her; cause fortunately they'll be going without me this time cause I-

"Can't" both me and Jaxon had said simultaneously. Not only had it freaked me out, but mostly everyone on the table stood staring at the coincidence of it. But of course, I didn't want them to believe I'd be going with Jaxon, so I quickly had reasoned out before he had the chance too.

I cleared my throat. "My dad's leaving tonight upstate, we're seeing him off" I sate hating to bail on my friends, as their faces look a bit dismayed. "Sorry Mel" I shrug playing guilty for whatever reason had disappointed her. She sighs, and Connor looks at me.

"Why wasn't I invited?" Connor questions, and I look at him about to say why, when I'd cut my tongue off realizing there was no why. Connor had always had that lingering doubt, that my parents didn't like him, or at least weren't much fond of him. I'd understand parents' blessings were vital, but he needn't to worry since mother and father are more than smitten with his overdose on his random gentleman gestures. And if anything, they were tired of it.     

"They didn't want to keep you in late on a school night" I lie right in front of him with a simple motion, with my hand detangling his hair, for distraction.

"And what's your excuse brunette?" Melissa mumbles.

Jaxon was also invited to participate as he'd known. Though I'd begged Jaxon wouldn't even address it, maybe deciding to join the drinks with Melisa, Taylor Connor and Willa instead. And at the least if he'd been forced to attend, I'd solicited he wouldn't mention that and just make up something instead. But as a freshman in the world of popularity, he probably was clueless. And that on its own was stressful for not just him, but myself included.

"I have homework"

I had unconsciously and abruptly choked on my energy bar.

Classic. Everyone had nodded to my reason and stared blankly at his responses. It was clear he wasn't in the business for long, because he didn't even know how to come up with a good raincheck excuse. It was truly flattering and pleasing as he was always will be a failure at it, but sadly not convenient in this situation.

"Homework? You're not coming because of homework?" Willa questions him and he shrugs confused as his own statement. "It's a lot of homework I think?" He says more like a question. But unfortunately, the tension had been cut short as Mel had begun to babble again.

"Oh, you guys are just disappointing and sad, but alright, jokes on you. I was going to pay for everyone's drink" She explains pouting and I nod rolling my eyes.

"Really now?" I laugh, with a raised eyebrow, testing if she'd been lying. Which of course, if I knew Mel enough, she was.

She glared at me. "You would know, if you were coming" She complains, as I'd blown her cover. I smiled looked at her sincerely. "I will be there Mel." And suddenly she looks at me strangely. "But you just-

"Spiritually" I finish cutting her off, as she sighs.

"Amen, for that" She shrugs, making us all rumble into laughter.

I wasn't exactly sure what I'd been thinking, when I deiced to walk from school extended miles to my residence, in heels and a skirt. Oh right. I wasn't thinking. And maybe Jaxon's constant breathes in and breathe out quivers and shivers cycling around my head was one other setback to my poor decision-making skills. And I'd already trodden into two puddles completely unaware of their existence, completing my day as a truly amazing one indeed.

"Will you quit the breathing?" I whisper yell, getting honestly annoyed, though my protest went unheard.
"Sorry if me being human disrupts your soul" He replies with no sense of apology.

I'd refused to take a car, finding the awkward silence that streaked due to the atmosphere that Jaxon had created wasn't of my choice and if I needed to escape it wasn't exactly possible either, and so walking was it for me. Jaxon had followed not far behind, refusing to let me walk alone. It's not like anything he'd do would protect us from anything. He can barely hurt a fly. In fact, I was the only one with a taser, and two years of judo class.

"It's a nice evening" He chirps intro the hush as the steps of our feet would echo through the neighborhood that we'd lived in. Nice night? What on earth was he seeing that I wasn't? We were walking in the dark and gloomy dim of the night, some of us who had feet drenched in water, and other shivering against the cold whispers of the wind. We were like a mile away from home, and I was fairly on the verge of calling a cab, and constraining Jaxon to cash out for it. Yeah definitely, nice night.

"Don't see what's so nice about it" I mutter looking over at our situation. We'd walked home from school. It was cold and wet and windy. I just wanted sleep, not be here.

"Why do you always have to be such a critic?" He huffed throwing his hands into the air. I shrugged hugging onto myself. It was his fault, if he couldn't read facts, I wasn't here to show him the rainbow when as I see is a tornado.

"I'm not sure if it's the breezy air, or my cold feet, or your annoying self, but I'm getting a headache, and I'm pretty sure it's not going anywhere unless you zip it!" I exclaimed earning a small laugh from him. Had I said something funny? Because I surely didn't think it was.

"What's so funny?" I challenged suddenly getting slightly irate.

"What's funny is that you can't stop thinking for like one second, and see that not everything is about you!" He mocks, making me gasp.

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm not going to pretend being stranded in the middle of the road, when I could be home right now, if it weren't for your presence, is fun!" I whisper yell, tried to have held it in.

"Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for yourself. You're missing out on a lot" He mentions and I rolled my eyes knowing for a fact that I'd encountered life much more than he had, and it was much better than this flea bag.

"If by missing out you're talking about being stuck with you out here, then I'd rather be boring" I had coughed out with no will to argue at the moment I'd been exhausted, cheer practice was double time so my legs and voice were weary. But his melodramatic, disapproval wasn't something I could just ignore.

"I'll give you half a point for that, you're already boring" He laughs. Suddenly I understood his motive. He'd wanted to talk, see if were cool. He thought it could be away to apologize for his pushing attitude which was still happening at the moment.

I coughed, and the cold, realizing I too was now quivering.

"Sadie you're shivering" He mentions, suddenly concerned. I roll my eyes, and internally groan at his lack of perceiving. "Thank you, Jaxon, for stating the obvious "I mock a deeply concerned look earning a chuckle from him.

"Do you want my jacket?" He suggests, realizing I had less resistance to the cold than he had, since my intake in almost everything was little to nothing, but I didn't want his jacket.

"No, I don't. Stop being nice, it's gross" I laughed, seriously disgust by it. He furrowed his eyebrows at me. "So, you'd rather freeze to death?" He questions my motive, and I defined myself. "So, you'd rather give me, the girl who literally gives you the hardest time, your jacket?" I laugh, but he'd went serious.

"Sadie, I know we're not always on good terms. But I am still human, I have a soul, I'm not just going to see you tremble and not do anything" He shrugs, suddenly getting me all serious too.
"Which on the contrary I know you wouldn't do" he shrugged.

I knew Jaxon, wasn't cruel by heart, it was just when it was me that things were literally taken outside. What he'd said stung very deeply into me, as he'd just implied, I had no soul. I was that girl who didn't care about anything or anyone, unless it had something to do with her. Most of the time, it didn't bother me, but as Jaxon laid it out that he would go as far as lending me something, because I was cold, even when my shivering had not affected him in sorts, had made me feel something, that I normally never feel.

Coldblooded. Even when I was human.

I cleared my throat, nodding slightly with my head low. "If you won't get cold then I guess..." I muttered trying not to get in to my feels. He smiles slightly, draping over his jacket behind my back, as I'd held it tight from one shoulder to the other, sensing the warm, already.

I cleared my throat. "So how are you and Willa?" I'd changed the question and subject not wanting to go any further with what we'd left earlier.

"Pretty great, I think. Still trying to get used to this new look, but I think I'm catching up" He smiles hopeful of his success. Unbelievable. He actually wants to go on this way?

"So, you think you'll keep going?" I ask curious if this was it, or would he continue to be what he's not.

"I don't really have a choice. I miss, Joshua and Kayla a lot, but if I don't go on like this, I'll lose Willa"

"Doesn't seem like it's that worth it then?" I encounter, suddenly deciding to be a hypocrite.

"I'm in love with her Sadie, I can't just let her go, I just got her" He complains, forcing out that he was desperate, and if not desperate, then in love.

"Do you really want to fake being someone for someone else, forever?" I question, trying to convince him that what he's doing, is a major mistake. I don't think he realizes what it'll mean to let go of his past life. He will literally have to burn it into shreds, because of the find out you were once, who you were once, you're out. And out for good.

"Well, I mean you're doing it, too aren't you?" He furrows his eyebrows, trying to throw it back at me. I scoff, knowing our situations are different. He was a newbie; I'd been here for along as I remembered. I never strived to be popular for Connor, Connor just came running after me once I'd strived to be popular. And what did he know?

"That's totally different. I am not faking-

"Yeah then what are you doing?" He pushes, stopping on his tracks suddenly. I didn't know what had ticked a nerve in him, but he wasn't letting go till I'd explained, and he'd gotten it off his chest. Whatever it was.

"I am-

"Pretending to be in love with Connor? Using him, when you don't actually love him? Always trying to be on top of everyone else? Lying to your friends? Secretly taking medication that not even your own boyfriend knows about? Always trying to be so perfect about it? Tell me what is actually going on with you?" He blurts out, making me suddenly feel very confused and angry.

"That's none of your business Jaxon, stay out of it" I warn, not wanting to share anything at the moment.

"Oh please! I tell you everything. Not even once have you opened up to me. Why are you always hiding yourself from the world? What are you so afraid of?!-

"I'm sick!" I cry out in frustration, quickly regretting it soon after.

He stood silent, both his eyebrows suddenly raising.

"What?" He uttered, only audible enough for him to have heard.

I groan, slamming my had against my forehead. "I shouldn't have said that"

"What do you mean you're sick?" He questions, ignoring my statement. I felt very flustered, and overly exposed. What reason did I even have to do that to myself? He didn't need to know, but my mouth had moved before my mind could. Obviously, the fault of my anxiety. I was now, trembling in fear of being unprotected. He knows, and it would be the end.

"I've said enough" I mutter, slowly walking far ahead.

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