This look was different. Completely different. Some may even say unrecognizable. But to me, it was desperate and not a choice. I had swapped my regular glimmering Sole Mate pumps, with bland post-op shoes, that sink with every step I took. My preppy skirts, and trendy jeans that vibrated my look, were pushed away and had been replaced by a long johnny gown that dangled as low as my ankles. My hair, carelessly tied into a bun, was muddled and had numerous strands let lose making their way into my eyes as I swatted them away constantly not to fall as I walked.

Around my eyes clung a bracelet. Yet not the ordinary bracelet a friend or parent would have bought you for a birthday, but a white bracelet with a tube plucked behind penetrating its way out of my skin, as it hang-glides down a glucose stand that I was holding onto like a cane as I paddled down the halls of the infirmary.

I looked nothing like Sadie Princeton, student body president and cheer captain of Clarison High. I was an average girl, at a hospital, after having had a seizure at school.

My parents, were in my room, who'd quickly rushed in after having hear of the situation, from the principal herself. They were somewhat upset that I wasn't as careful as I should have been, but also worried and scared. Mother had even shed a small tear, as she'd seen me lying motionless on the hospital bed. She brought me a thermos of hot tea, and a basket of cookies Mrs. Mills had made just for me. Father, very hesitant at first, but had decided he needed to see me instead, had flown back from New York, even when I had told him it wasn't worth it. He too, stood wide awake, waiting for my eyes to have fluttered open.

I appreciated the gesture, but all this act of kindness had just overwhelmed me even more. People know about it, and there was no going back.

I'd opened my eyes, and took a breath, and suddenly didn't want to be alive anymore. The constant cycle of, be perfect, random people sabotaging my life, accidental seizure, again be perfect was too much for a seventeen year old high school teenager whose greatest emotional trauma should be when her favorite retails store ends closes down too early on a Saturday night, or when he prom dress was accidentally washed with all sort of colors. Did someone of my kind really had to go through the five stages of life all in four years of high school?

I excused myself from bed, after taking my morning meds with a cup of orange juice the nurse had provided me prior to me awakening, saying that I had to go use the bathroom. Which I really did need. Father had slept on my Mother's shoulders and I'd left them still as I propped myself slowly out of bed, and into the halls of where I stood now.

Seeing people enter and leave this place was very if not sad then depressing. Some who looked nothing above ten years old, with hands stuffed in their mothers' pockets afraid of seeing the needle the doctor would pull out once they were isolated into the rooms. Some who dropped off a loved one, with cancer, as they share tears during departure. Some who were much older than me, older than my parents, who have been here longer than anyone, stood looking out their window, longing the outside world.

I stood staring at the old woman, who didn't even pay any responsiveness to the nurse who'd called her name twice, explaining she needed to eat her meal or she couldn't take her prescriptions. But the old woman in the white gown, and the post-op shoes ignored it starting blankly at the overlarge window that exposed a beautiful garden wedged with a hill over it. It was a view for sure, but for her it was indispensable.

The nurse sighed, and left a small reminding note by her bed post, and left her room, not even bothering to close her door. Out of complete curiosity, I'd stopped my expedition towards the restroom, taking a peek towards her room. She sat in a wooden chair that rocked every second. Her wrists too, plucked by a syringe. Her hair a short streak of white and grey.

I gazed at her being, very much intrigued by her and her nature. But a sudden breath I'd released had got her to turn around and lock eyes with me. Startled I jump with a little gasp, but she'd only looked and turned around again linked her eyes back out the window that had fascinated her too much.

She exhaled slowly. "Those taking it for granted are fools" She spoke, her voice croaky and brittle yet gruff all at once. I presumed she was taking about the view, but much more than the view. The grass, the sun, outside. She'd missed outside, and thoughtful that others not realizing it were already taking it for granted.

But more it reminded me of Jaxon's words.

Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for yourself. You're missing out on a lot.

Had I missed out? Was I the one taking things for granted? Not living life to my full potential? Was I the fool? I hadn't known, and neither did I want to. The words of wisdom yet angst the woman had spoken rung in my head, as she'd left me with a piece of her mind.

I'd left her to it, deciding I couldn't roam around invading people's personal space anymore, and joined my path once more realizing I had urgently needed to pee.

I was tired, and exhausted, and had little to no sleep the other night. I had a constant nose bleed, that took them almost forever to clot. And I had worried over what unpleasant grades I would be getting, for that assignment, I had read in class.

I was-

"There she is!" it had awfully sounded like Mel, but it couldn't have been. There was no way she'd have come here, especially since she'd heard about what happened. Who'd want to see me after that? I'd lost my image. Unless they were here to laugh at me.

"Yes, that's her! Sadie!" that sounded like Connor, and suddenly I knew it was them. I looked up and turned around realizing indeed that Melisa Huffman, Taylor Bates, and Connor Hartford were standing by the main reception, with a huge bonquet of flowers in Mel's hands.

They waved over at me as they passed the receptionist and walked over to me, yet I was in pure shock, completely embarrassed by my situation.

"What on earth are you guys doing here?" I whispered once they were a few meters away from me. I was uncomfortable with the fact that I was once the girl they looked up upon and now, I was just here, the sick girl.

"What do you mean, what are we doing here? I told you to cell me when you get married, when you're having your first child, when Soul Mates has a 50% sale, and definitely when you have a seizure and end up at the hospital!" Mel explains infuriated that I hadn't told her about it. I'd wondered what got her distraught? What did she benefit from knowing? And how did she know about my seizure?

"Who told you I had a seizure?" I question lifting my gown a bit so I wouldn't trip.

"Jaxon. He told us you passed out after AP English, and they took you to the hospital, and not moment later we drove here in my car you were asleep so we came the next morning. I think he's actually by the trunk right now, getting out your homework's from your homeroom teacher" Connor says speaking of Jaxon so heavenly. I sigh and smile at them.

"I am fine actually. I should be out of here, soon right?" I speak directing the question towards them, since they seem to know more about my situation than I.

Taylor debated over it and decided to tell the details instead.

"They are letting you out. But it's tomorrow morning. They just want to see how long you can stay stable" She explains hesitant. I groaned.

"Great" I muttered, already tired of this, heck I couldn't even go use the restroom for crying out loud. I couldn't survive a whole other night.

"We were really worried about you Sadie" Mel intervenes, resting her hand against my hand that held my glucose stand. Her eyes were glossy, and she looked as if she too had no sleep, her usual green eyes were dim and I knew she hadn't touched her make up kit all day. She was worried, and I didn't know how to tell her I was fine.

"Yeah, I thought you were going to..." Connor couldn't finish his statement as he too had a croaking voice. He looked torn.

"Don't say that! You're going to make me cry!" Taylor retorts her tone also weary. My eyes were fine, but couldn't believe what I'd witnessed. Why were they worried, why weren't they disappointed at me? Why hadn't they seen my differently? Didn't they understand I wasn't perfect anymore? Didn't that make them want to leave me?

"I wasn't dying or anything" I shrug, thinking of the possibility of it. And even if I had, would I have mattered as much as I had lived. They stared at me, raged that I hadn't taken the situation more seriously. I sighed.

"I'm sorry guys, I don't know what happened to me. One moment I was okay, and the other moment I was...I feel very ashamed okay-

But I never finished that sentence as Mel had wheezed all the air out of my lungs when she'd engulfed me in a heartfelt extr, bear-like but affectionate, warm and protective, fierce, and rare embrace. I was silent, and inhaled the hug, as it was the most amazing thing, I had ever felt in almost three years. I rested my chin against her shoulder and closed my eyes deeply sinking into it, as she herself silently sobbed in against my back.

"Don't ever scare us like that okay?" Mel warns, fearing it would happen again in the same manner. I didn't want her to know about it this way, and especially not through Jaxon, but I'd ben reluctant.

Connor and Taylor had too joined in, after her as the four of us immersed in this therapeutic encirclement, I'd completely forgotten to go to the restroom, because I didn't want to pee anymore. I'd felt something just magical three seconds ago, and I wasn't going to let it go just yet.

"It was just a run-of-the-mill seizure. Not too scary" I eased their worry, at least I tried to. But they'd ignored it still squeezing the living soul out of me. I was still curious about who else knew, and was it already running through media at school? Would I be able to show my face at school once more? So, I couldn't help, but ask, once they'd eased their arms off of me.

"So, does everyone know about this?" I questioned casually, trying to get a glimpse of what I am going to be dealing with the rest of the school year.

Mel scrunched her nose, trying to think of anyone she' seen who witnessed it.

"I don't think so, a few people saw you leave" She shrugged, whipping off her tears very discretely. A few people? What did that mean? And what was a few people?

"What did they say?" I questioned, as Connor came to my side, and held onto my back providing me with support.

"Nothing, they just looked worried, everyone was worried." Taylor shrugged simply explaining the normal nature of human beings. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Why?"

Mel taken aback raised an eyebrow.

"Because we care about you?" She explains hesitant of my approach to the subject.

Because we care about, she said. And it came simply. Having understood that one simple mistake could make you lose your social rank, had made me a tad bit confused as to why people would have cared. How did my illness affect them in any sort of way? Wasn't this humiliating?

"Oaky, Status dramaticus! You're acting way too strange; I think you need some rest, lets get you back to your room" Mel speaks hospital slang as they take me opposite of where the restroom was.

And suddenly, I needed to pee again.

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Hello people! How is everyone doing? Are you feeling beautiful? Because I am. Anyway here is Chapter Nineteen! Go eat it!

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