"You know, I keep wondering how I end up here of all places" I mentioned sighing. He smiled giving me a sincere expression.

"You did the right thing Sadie. There's no shame in seeking help" He pats my shoulder, before going over to his own desk. The thing he hadn't know was, there was all and every shame to it. I was, by image one who knew what to do, say and think. I wasn't obliged neither did I need guidance, others would confirm. I was very much past that. But it was to avoid feud between those who believe my mental health is at risk. I was alarmed to that note, but I'd never actually believed I was, broken.

I functioned, if at all better than anyone else. People just didn't understand it. I didn't need help, because I was completely fine.

"So, what can I help you with?" Mr. Newberry questions my sudden interest in counseling. Of course, I wasn't there to admit the hoax of my bipolar disorder. Which you could say isn't exactly a hoax. But Mr. Newberry didn't need to know that. I'd come for much more serious reasons and it had involved other characters rather than myself.

I cleared my throat dropping my scarf on to the couch and my school bag beside my boots. "There is someone I have been trying to get off my radar. Very manipulative, and extremely chaotic..." I mention slowly trying not to sound at all threatened. Suddenly interested with my current situation Mr. Newberry begins to listen.

"Who is that someone, a friend, relative?" He questions curiosity building onto him. I had understood that my abrupt seeking of help might have scared my counselor, but it wasn't like I was going to burst my entire life in thirty minutes. We would need coffee for that, a lot of coffee.

"I would like to keep this someone anonymous, but were not close. If you'd push it, we do share the same grade, and chemistry class" I shrug finding it utterly hard to even mention our status as acquaintances.

"So, a classmate?" He clears his throat.

"I wouldn't call it. He's not a mate of mine. Like an unwanted bug buzzing around" I taunt, venting against my hatred for him.

"So, it's a he?" He mentions suddenly his creased forehead eased and he'd suddenly grinned very wide. I'd look at Mr. Newberry, and suddenly realized what. His smile was all about"

"Oh, do not, I beg! The situation is not like that" I groaned face palming myself. Why had   So it's a" I warn him to not get the wrong impression.

"Was not assuming. Please due continue"

"Okay" I breathed in. This was going to be hard, but I knew it was going to be confidential. Mother and father would never bother to listen, Melisa doesn't listen to anyone, but herself and Connor will most probably dump me afterwards. What could Mr. Newberry do?

I pinched an eyelash that had fallen onto the edge of my eye with my manicured nails and bit my lip wondering if it was a good idea to just go for it. I had indeed nothing to lose.

"Something has been bothering me for quite a while. And usually notinhg bothers me as such" I squeezed my eyes closed afraid to hear his face reaction.

"I see-

"I will not go into the details of it, as my life is still a private matter. But it seems that my trial and error against what I try to do, to avoid the problem seems to be just aggrevating it. And a piece of wisdom from someone a bit older than I could be a choice. My ;ife was evermore so perfect, I had the best friends, a perfect boyfriend and the best grades. But suddenly to try and sabotage what I had from envy a childhood friend of mine who I repeat is not my friend now has decided to come back into  my existence, demanding I help him on his quest for popularity, but he's also forming relationships, with my friends and my standard people which instinctively seems like total manipulation. Don't you think? "I took a huge breath letting that sink into the both of us.

Mr. Newberry was no longer in sudden curiosity, but more of astonishment. His job was particularly to deal with these sorts of people, but when that person was Lilith Harmen everything felt different. It felt hysterical.

Clearing his throat, he decided to make a move after my outburst. "Okay, well that was more than I had expected you to say. That almost summons up four sessions of silent counseling" He confesses, and I had nodded in agreement.

"I assure you that will be all you hear, I am not interested in giving you a biography" I pledge, not comfortable enough to exploit more of my life. I wasn't exactly sure what had brought me here, but I was desperate.

Creasing his eyebrows, he begins to jot down a few things onto his notebook, before addressing me again.

"What exactly is it about him that you are scared of? What makes you think he hs the motivation to manipulate your friends and push you to the sidelines?" He questions firmly, and I scoff. Offended that he would thing Sadie Princeton, was anywhere near threatened or scared.

"I am not threatened by him may I remind you, I am could very much equally sabotage his life. Though to be fair, he hasn't much of a life left to sabotage. He just has a way of manipulating people, and I need him away from us" I shrug.

"So, you and him have something in common I presume" He states. I sigh seeing that he is springing off topic.

"No, you've got it all wrong. He's trying to be like me, which is obviously not working. I just don't understand, why all of a sudden, he has to be everywhere around the school! I was doing just great before he'd slithered into my popularity conquer. I know I should've never accepted his favor!" I exclaim.

My chest had lifted and dropped quickly. My breaths were quick and exasperated. I couldn't even handle talking about him. I had already so much on my plate, and now I had more to deal with.  

"Maybe, you can tell him how you feel about this, he would surely understand, won't he?" He asks, making me rumble into laughter.

"Mr. Newberry, I didn't think you were that oblivious. If there's anything you should learn about people like me, and him you don't tell people how you feel. It is the last thing you want to do. Feelings mean vulnerability, and I cannot be vulnerable right now." I speak furiously. Agitated, but what I had told Mr. Newberry, I had stooped babbling. This was too much information for me to have exploited to someone that wasn't me.

"But seems like a lot holding in Sadie, that isn't healthy for the emotional and mental health of the mind" He congregates, referring to a rather popular opinion. "Seriously, do you actually believe that?" I laugh, finding his assumptions very amusing.

"You are living proof Sadie" He explains point his finger towards me. I gasp and put my hands against my chest, feeling offended. He knew nothing, and he'd only said so to get tp me I was pretty sure.

"Maybe he's actually being sincere. Maybe he's trying to earn your attention, and friendship again" He adds as if very valid and reasonable, earning a series of eyerolls and bitter laughs.

"You amuse me very much Mr. Newberry. But I think I'll think of something more realistic, by myself. Since clearly everyone's pretty much under the same trance. Humans are too weak" I sighed, grabbing my bag, and umbrella before storming out of his office.

Mr. Newberry's misunderstanding of the situation was not senseless. He just didn't know this particular game of hunting. He didn't know who I was, or who he was. Because I am a pariah, and Kendrick was just as of a predator as I was, he's just hidden it over many years. But I was well aware of his footsteps, and I would need to handle it a bit more carefully.

Joke's on him. 

"Hey babe" a familiar voice spoke wrapping arms around the hem of my skirt. "Hey Connor" I quickly had switched my lips from a thin line to a curve. Turning around, I'd given him a quick peck on the cheek. Connor was leaning on my back, which had me stationed. "I've missed you" He whispers towards my ear. I shivered slightly as how his words blew against my ear, but I wasn't as moved. I wasn't particular in favor of public demonstration of affection in the middle of the hallways.

"You guys are so adorable!" Phoebe, a girl from my mathematics class squeals as she passes by us. Connor smirks, kissing the top of my head. "I know" I spoke, with a prominent expression.

She skips by, and Connor takes that as his que to get off my back, and face me. "What are your plans tonight?" He questions side baring with me with his arm around my shoulder. I shook my head settling my hair back to its usual look.

"I hate to say it but, I can't, I have cheer practice, and I need to overlook plans with Mindy about our schedule" I say apologetically, to an upset Connor.

"What do you mean by you can't?" He groans, getting a bit tense. "When was the last time we'd hung out, just the two of us? I'm tired of you bailing on me."  

"I can't just bail on practice either. It's my responsibility" I scoff, hoping he understands this isn't a moment of selfishness. "I have a lot to do Connor and you should understand-

"I know Sadie, I don't object your duties. But you're my girlfriend, I deserve to spend some time with you. Don't I? It wouldn't be fair" He tests me, I didn't have the time to make it clear to Connor that I didn't have time for some alone time. I was running against the clock, and she should take that into consideration.

"You should also recognize that I have so many things, that can't wait. I thought you understood that, and were really supportive. I am here trying to give you the best prom experience, but you say that can't wait for one miniature date?" I humph, very infuriated.

"Where is this all coming from? Gosh Sadie! You can be so-

"Stubborn?" I finished his sentence. Of course, I shouldn't have said so. He didn't need to know I talk to Kendrick. But I was distressed, and I thought boyfriends help you become unstressed, not add on the stress you already have.

"I never said that" He mutters.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure, you wanted to say it though" I laugh bitterly.

"So, all of a sudden you think you can just read my mind?" 

"Your pretty much an open book, so what's there that you haven't shown?"

It was never my intentions, to have gone so far. Yet my I was mad and upset on the world, and Connor was the innocent one getting my wrath.

Connor shot me a confused look. "What's gotten into you, this isn't the Sadie I know..."

"Listen, I am a not really in the mood right now-

"You know what forget it. Maybe I'll just talk to you when you are" He cut me off storming away. I saw him walk away, hands in his pocket. I had soon regretted it, but I couldn't stop Connor from having left. I had rubbed my troubled emotions into his golden heart. Sometimes, I really forget what I'm capable of. 

But in the midst of it all, I'd remember I had cheer practice, and there was no time to wallow over a boy. After all, I was never to play with my own emotions, I would be recognized as vulnerable. And no one likes a vulnerable person.

But I'd pushed away the one person that always had my back. I had been completely stupid; he'd asked me out and I'd lashed out.

He'd only been nice, and yet I had let the frustration of my responsibilities get in the way of me and Connor, and who knew if he'd recover from this and come back to me. What if he doesn't come back? He didn't even turn his head to look behind.

What have I done?

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