"I'm sorry for leaving your party that early, avoiding you for three more days and being a proper prick" apologised Louis abashed to Zayn, sitting on his bed with his head hung low. Zayn had stopped by to have a serious conversation.

"You don't have to be sorry, Tommy. I understand. You had to get away. This doesn't make you a proper prick" lifted Zayn Louis' chin up to look into his eyes.

"But it was your birthday, Joey. I was supposed to be there for you and not mob around, ignore you and then leave like the selfish idiot I am" countered Louis ashamed of himself.

"Louis," said Zayn sternly, which made Louis swallow heavily. "You are not selfish. You came although you felt like shit. You were there and had to witness your boyfriend being an ignorant idiot. Don't think I don't know that".

"He wasn't being ignorant. Just ...".

"Just what, Louis?" cut Zayn him off and Louis didn't know what to say. "Ignorant is even nicely said. I have other words in mind that would fit better into this fucked up situation. Believe me, you don't wanna hear them. I talked to Liam and Shawn and they told me you wanted to change and be more responsible and shit like that and that it was due to Harry. Is that true?".

"Yes" nodded Louis in confirmation.

"Louis, why? You don't have to change who you are, especially not for your soulmate. You already are responsible and kind and caring and selfless and humble. What else could he possibly want? What was he trying to do by ignoring you, flirting with that bitch and making you feel like you're not good enough?" was Zayn not having it. With every word, he became angrier.

"He wanted to teach me a lesson" mumbled Louis his reply, not wanting to make it even worse.

"What?" exclaimed Zayn furiously.

"He was still mad at me for my comment in Manchester and wanted to show me what I'd be missing without him. His ego felt hurt or something like that. He overreacted and apologised" told Louis him in an emotionless voice.

"And you forgave him?" looked Zayn terrified at him.

"What else could I do? He's my soulmate and felt mistreated by me" shrugged Louis helplessly.

"That gives him no right to mistreat you even worse and make you feel like shit. I've seen you this whole time and you looked straight out miserable. You were hurting. You are hurting and this is not fair" stated Zayn madly.

"I know" sighed Louis in defeat.

"Did you at least talk about it again? Did he reason his behaviour to you?" hooked Zayn expectantly.

"No" shook Louis his head. "After I kind of had an emotional breakdown at your party, he barely said anything and wanted to talk about it another time. I just wanted to leave after exposing myself like that and only receiving that pathetic excuse of an apology about a hurt ego".

"You sound mad" noted Zayn the obvious.

"To be honest, I am. Very mad to be precise. But mostly I'm hurt. I feel betrayed and used and played and all that by my own boyfriend. Someone who knew about my fears and where they came from and he still decided to 'teach me a lesson' because I'm such a horrible person. To cut it short, our relationship is pretty strained at the moment. We barely see each other or talk more than necessary. No closeness, no touching, no kissing. Nothing. It's frozen and I don't know what to do" revealed Louis to him in pure despair.

"You seriously need to talk. I don't need to tell you what I think about this whole mess. You know yourself his actions weren't right and you're not as bad as he made it look like. Just because you didn't scream at those jerks or punched them in the face, he doesn't have the right to act like a total prick" pointed Zayn out, trying to stay calm.

"He punched Jake though" retorted Louis thoughtfully.

"And? You stood up for him as well that day. That's what you told me had happened. You're even if you want. But that's stupid. It's not a competition on who defended the other the most. This is about why you couldn't do it and why he doesn't try to understand you and why he acted like an asshole although he promised to be there for you through all of your fears. You can't pretend that nothing happened. Talk to him" advised Zayn him desperately.

"I know you're right and we should talk but ..." started Louis but had to stop because he had to cough violently for two seconds. "But it's not that easy to make him talk".

"Are you okay, Tommy? You look pale" asked Zayn worriedly, eyeing Louis from top to bottom.

"I don't feel so good in these last couple of days" admitted Louis with an aching head.

"Since when?" checked Zayn and lay a hand against Louis' forehead.

"Your birthday. Or even before. I'm not quite sure" mused Louis unsurely. "It's not always that noticeable. It switches from headache to balance problems or coughing and sneezing or just feeling out of energy".

"Do you think it has something to do with your fight with Harry?" questioned Zayn carefully.

"That's not possible" answered Louis determined but then thought about all his weird symptoms and things that had happened before their fight that weren't normal. "Right, Joey?".

"Looking at you I think it is possible" frowned Zayn in concern.

"Why is our bond so weird? What did we do wrong?" furrowed Louis his eyebrows together, feeling his energy getting less by the second.

"I don't think you did something wrong, Tommy. It looks like your bond is stronger than any of ours, maybe. One more reason to talk to him. Listen, I'll go down and fetch you some tea and soup from the kitchen while you lie down, okay?" stood Zayn up from the bed, deep in thought.

"Thanks, Joey" smiled Louis wearily at him, crawling under his covers.

"No problem, Tommy" smiled Zayn back at him.

"Oh, and um could you bring a bit more? Something tells me I'm not the only one feeling like shit" cleared Louis his throat embarrassed.

"Sure thing" and with that Zayn left the room.

Emotionally exhausted, Louis snuggled deeper into his pillow and fisted his blanket. He was feeling hot all over, but cold inside. His marks were burning like hell and the skin around them was itching like crazy. He felt really sick, but more mentally than physically even though his body was affected too. None of this made sense in his head.

Not much later, Zayn came back into the dorm with a tray in hand, balancing a teapot, two mugs and a big bowl of soup on it.

"Thank you, Joey" thanked Louis him again as he took one of the mugs and poured himself some tea into it.

"It's really nothing you need to thank me for. I'm your friend and look after you. You'd do the same and you know it" waved Zayn the matter off.

"I would, but I'd understand if you didn't do it after I ignored you and left your party" replied Louis, still feeling guilty about it.

"Stop feeling guilty about it. We can party any time you want. As soon as you're better, deal?" suggested Zayn to him.

"Deal" accepted Louis relieved.

"Wonderful. Now I'll leave you to it for a bit because I need to talk to someone" walked Zayn over to the door.

"With whom?" wondered Louis sceptically.

"Àmber," said Zayn quickly before he left, giving Louis no time to question it even more.

Why did he want to talk to Àmber right now? What was so important and secretive that Louis couldn't know? Hopefully, they wouldn't team up and talk to Harry like the sick bubbleheads both of them were. Louis could or should handle this on his own. But only when he felt a bit better.

Placing his mug on his desk, Louis grabbed his phone and turned it on to see if he had any messages. And really he had two. One voice message from Nikki and one written text from his mother. Not feeling it, Louis decided to firstly answer his friend.

From Nikki:

"Hey Tommo, I'm on my way back from my Date and felt the need to thank you for your former pep talk. You were right. Everything went smoothly and Violetta is really amazing. We had so much fun and even bonded romantically. Isn't that amazing? I'm so happy and can't stop smiling. Anyway, how are you feeling today?".

To Nikki:

"That's great to hear, Niks. I'm so happy for you. Now I need to meet Violetta again and give her the talk. I don't care if Vicky, M or Bay will do that too. A man needs to do it ; ) And about me, I'm okay today. A bit of a headache, but good".

From Nikki:

"Oh yeah, you're a real man, Tommo ; ) Please don't scare her away though by your intimidating appearance ... With a headache, you shouldn't text. Turn your phone off and take a nap. We talk later".

To Nikki:

"Aye, I'm very manly and totally tough. Thank you very much!!! Fine, talk to you later, bitch".

From Mummy:

"Honey, what's wrong? I know something is off. Talk to me".

To Mummy:

"Just a bit sick and we had a small fight. Nothing major. Don't worry, Mum".

As soon as he had sent the message to his mother, the door to the dorm opened and Harry stumbled inside. Immediately, Louis knew something was wrong and he was out of his bed in less than a second, which he felt in his head, but he ignored it.

"Haz, what's wrong?" asked Louis carefully.

"Louis" breathed Harry out barely audible, looked shortly at him before his eyes twisted and he fell forwards.

Just in time Louis caught him thanks to the room not being that big and steadied his limp body, which was burning like fire. Laboriously, Louis lay Harry down on his bed and knelt down in front of it just looking at Harry. He was sweating all over, trembling and pale-faced. This state reminded Louis of his own just ten minutes ago.

"Haz, do you want a bath?" stroked Louis the curls out of Harry's face. His mother had always bathed Louis when he was sick, and it had helped every time to feel at least a little bit better.

Harry only nodded with clattering teeth, glancing up at Louis with fogged eyes and blown pupils. Louis' whole being was aching at the sight of a sick Harry. He pushed his anger away and followed his instincts. Leaving Harry on the bed, Louis walked into their bathroom and prepared everything for Harry's bath. He put bubbles into the steaming water and placed scented candles around the bathtub. Lastly, he took out a big fluffy towel and Harry's bathrobe for after the bath.

Then he helped Harry up and into the bathroom. Respectfully, Louis turned around and let Harry undress himself. When he heard the sound of water, Louis knew Harry was safely in the bathtub now. Without turning around, Louis walked over to the door to give Harry some privacy.

"Louis?" stopped Harry's voice him from leaving the room just yet.

"Yes, Haz?" was Louis still not turning around to him.

"Can you stay?" asked Harry quietly with so much hope in his voice, that Louis felt his insides cry.

"Of course" agreed Louis shakily.

"You're gonna stay there, facing the door?" questioned Harry cutely.

Exhaling deeply, Louis slowly turned around to him with a smile plastered on his face. The sight of his naked boyfriend in a hot bathtub full of bubbles with wet hair should turn Louis on in way too many ways, but it didn't. All he could think about was how cute and adorable but also sick and pale Harry looked despite his heated cheeks due to the hot water. Concerned, Louis walked over to his boyfriend and sat down on the chair next to the bathtub. They didn't talk. Just pure silence.

When Harry started to wash and cleanse himself, Louis repositioned himself on the chair so that he was now sitting cross-legged, facing the sink. He felt weird being here inside with Harry while he was taking a bath. It was so intimate, and Louis couldn't handle this. Bathroom intimacy was a difficult thing for him without thinking back about that one day with Kyle. On the other hand, it felt so normal to be together doing these normal and almost domestic things with Harry. His heart felt warm and his soul was at ease.

"Can you um ... hand me the towel?" cleared Harry his throat awkwardly.

"Sure" blushed Louis crimson and handed Harry the towel, feeling himself tremble now.

Louis stared hard and concentrated on his lap and played with his fingers while Harry climbed out of the bathtub and wrapped himself in the towel. When Harry started to blow-dry his hair, Louis used this moment to leave the bathroom and climb underneath his covers. He opened his laptop and searched for a movie to distract himself, but his thoughts were with Harry. Inside the bathroom Louis had felt the need to wash Harry's hair for him and blow-dry it himself, so Harry wouldn't have to do it in his sick state. Louis was seeking his presence, his touch, being with him and felt his anger vanish with every new second.

A moment later, the bathroom door opened and Harry padded into the room in his bathrobe, stopping next to Louis' bed. Automatically, Louis looked up at a red-cheeked Harry, looking very fragile and precious in his blue bathrobe. Louis wanted to cuddle him to death.

"Could I um ... maybe ... err join you in your b – bed?" stuttered Harry out.

"Yes, sure" found Louis himself saying without even thinking about it. He stood up to make room for Harry, so that he could lie inside closer to the wall, safe from any intruders. "Do you want a cuppa? Some soup?".

"Please," said Harry as he got comfortable in Louis' bed.

With a mug and a little bowl of soup, Louis climbed back into his bed next to Harry. He handed him the hot mug but kept the bowl to himself. Solicitously, Louis started to feed Harry the soup. Spoon by spoon carefully until the bowl was empty like the mug. Cautiously, Louis placed both items back on his desk and wordlessly started a movie on his laptop, expecting Harry to fall asleep pretty soon.

That didn't happen. Together but also separately they watched the movie, not cuddled up or touching at all. Louis tried really hard to focus on the movie, but his head was full of thoughts about Harry. Any kind of anger he had felt before was vanishing quickly and left was only the need to be there for his boyfriend and maybe explain himself and get an explanation in return. But how was he supposed to do that with a sick Harry? There wasn't a good way.

Once the protagonist in the movie got betrayed by his own girlfriend, Louis felt himself getting uncomfortable in his place. To his big surprise, Harry suddenly stopped the movie and turned around to him with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Louis, can I have a second?" spoke Harry up fearfully.

"If you need it" turned Louis now around to face him.

"I really do" sighed Harry out, bracing himself. "Louis, I want to apologise again and this time for real and not as stupid as before. I was a prick and mistreated you horribly and I'm sorry for that. I was a proper asshole to you and shouldn't have done any of it. I told you my ego was hurt and that was sadly true, but I should have never expected anything from you, especially not in a moment like that, knowing all the things about you that you entrusted me. I know why you couldn't do it and I understand now. Forcing you to defend me just because I'm unable to defend myself wasn't right. I always had Niall by my side to defend me if necessary, but mostly it wasn't needed. I never had to deal with homophobia the way you had to your whole life. I can't stand up for myself most of the time and normally Niall always jumped in, as he did in Manchester. My stupid mind told me my boyfriend and soulmate should do the same no matter what, but I didn't take your life and fears into account here and I'm sorry for that, Louis".

Perplexed, Louis just stared at Harry absolutely speechless. He had never heard him talk that fast. Normally, he talked so slowly and carefully that now Louis almost didn't catch what he was saying. Almost.

"I appreciate your apology, Harry. Really. It definitely hurt when you ignored me or said those things to me, but truth is, you weren't completely wrong" said Louis awkwardly, just overwhelmed by the situation.

"Not wrong? Louis, I said you were ashamed of me; that you don't care; you'd be irresponsible and uncaring. Hell, I even mentioned your father. You should be freaking mad at me. Damn it, scream at me! Be pissed. I made you feel like shit and gave you the feeling you have to change yourself for me because you're not good enough after I said you are ashamed of yourself. That wasn't right of me" was Harry losing it, tears pooling in his eyes, guilt and shame written on his face.

"Maybe I am ashamed of myself" mumbled Louis quietly.

"You don't have to be. You are a wonderful person, Louis" stated Harry tearfully.

"I'm really not. I couldn't even defend you" put Louis himself down.

"And I didn't defend you" countered Harry. "Don't put yourself down because of me now. You are responsible. You are caring and you're nothing like your father. I'm ashamed of myself for even bringing him up. Louis, you're kind and humble and loving and so caring. You took care of me as soon as I came into the room, not caring about the fact that I hurt you. I am the one needing to learn something, not you. I need to be a better boyfriend" told Harry him and by now the tears were streaming down his face.

"No, you don't, Haz" wiped Louis a few tears away. "We both made mistakes".

"But you can't deny that I was way worse" snivelled Harry. "I was mad and unforgiving for nothing while you just tried to be there for me. Like today, you cared for me and I thank you for that, Lou".

"Do you really think I would've let you fall down to the floor and leave you lying there, trembling and with a fever? That would be cruel" cracked Louis a small smile at Harry.

"But justified. Anyway, thank you, Louis" thanked Harry him again.

"Not for that" waved Louis the matter off.

"Why did you even have soup and tea with you?" wondered Harry suddenly.

"Um, Zayn brought it up for me" scratched Louis his neck.

"Why?" furrowed Harry his eyebrows together.

"I didn't feel so good myself either. He told me to rest and drink tea" let Louis him know.

"And you still cared for me?" Harry couldn't believe it.

"What was I supposed to do?" asked Louis shakily.

"Thinking about yourself," told Harry him as if it was obvious.

"Was never good at that. When you came stumbling in, all I knew was that you needed help and you were sick. My brain just completely shut off and I was only focused on you and your well-being, Haz. I felt better looking after you" explained Louis to him what had gone through his head.

"Um ... but did you have the same symptoms?" asked Harry with a blush on his cheeks.

"Yes, but not as bad as you" confirmed Louis his guess.

"Oh God, I made both of us sick" gasped Harry in realisation.

"Harry, no. You didn't ...".

"Yes, I did" cut Harry him off. "Thanks to me being stupid I made you feel bad which turned into sickness and my guilt ate me alive, so I got sick too".

"But doesn't this just prove that we're not meant to argue anymore?" pointed Louis out as a try to calm him down.

"We wouldn't even fight if it wasn't for me" blamed Harry himself.

"That's not true. It all started with my thoughtless outburst and you know it" contradicted Louis him in a serious voice.

"Maybe, but I could've reacted differently. I admit, it hurt to hear you say it, but I understand now. I should've understood you back then, too. They reminded you of Jake and those jerks back in school and that cut open scars that were supposed to stay closed, healed. I know it now and I understand and see your reason, Lou. I know why you did it" said Harry calmly, now with drying tear stains on his cheeks.

"No, you don't" whispered Louis, afraid of his own words.

"What do you mean? Of course, I do" Harry didn't understand.

"Remember when we got together and met Jake? I was able to defend you on that day until he mentioned my father. I was out of it afterwards" started Louis and felt himself shaking all over.

"Yes, but why?" was Harry confused.

"My father is my weak point. A trigger. But not the only one" continued Louis but couldn't look him in the eye.

"They said something specific that triggered you, am I right?" guessed Harry and Louis just nodded. "What was it? I barely remember their words".

"Twink. They called me a twink. You know what that is, right?" breathed Louis out, almost choking on that word. He hated it by a passion.

"Kind of, yeah" nodded Harry and waited for Louis to continue.

"The boys in school called me that on a daily basis. Every single fucking day. They made fun of me for everything I did and mocked me non-stop. That word in particular hurt more than the usual fag, because it was specifically used for me. They called me a t – twink because I'm short and curvy and damn feminine. Every day they said if I was lucky enough to ever be in a relationship I'd be obviously the girl because of the way I dressed, I look and I simply am. You know, caring for my family and friends and stuff like this. Hearing those jerks at the game use that word for me again although I changed my whole appearance, just pushed me down a dark hole and I snapped without thinking about it. I'm um ... really insecure about my body and I can't handle people calling me cute, gentle or feminine very good. But I know I am, no matter how hard I try to hide it" revealed Louis everything to him. It was very difficult to say it out loud, but Harry deserved to know the truth to maybe understand him a little bit better. Louis could be strong, but not every second of the day. He had a heart.

"That's why you stopped wearing those colourful clothes I've seen in your old picture and instead switched to baggy and dull clothes to hide your body from discrimination" concluded Harry to which Louis only nodded.

Gently, Harry took a hold of Louis' hands, which made him look directly into Harry's tear-filled eyes. "Thank you for telling me this, Louis. I know this was hard for you and a big step. I'm really sorry this happened to you and they made you feel so bad about yourself. Believe me when I tell you that you have nothing to be ashamed of. You're perfect the way you are and no one, not them and not me, should make you feel like you should change. Ever" stated Harry slowly but determined so that Louis would understand.

"Okay. Thank you, Haz" had Louis no idea what to say to this.

"Don't thank me. It's just the truth. There's nothing you should be ashamed of. Your personality is amazing, Lou. And so is your body" clarified Harry once and for all.

All Louis could do was blush even more. He couldn't say what it was, but Harry left him speechless countless times. That Harry now understood his reasons and they were okay, made Louis feel so much better.

"And just so you know, personally I love your curves, Lou. Every time I can steal a glance at them I was wondering why you hide them. Don't hide, show yourself" added Harry cheekily.

"Are you saying you checked out my bum and my thighs?" raised Louis an eyebrow at him, now successfully making Harry blush.

"Maybe, but how could I not?" coughed Harry awkwardly.

"You're so cute when you're nervous" leaned Louis closer to him.

"Not as cute as you though" countered Harry weakly and this time Louis had no problem with being cute.

"May I kiss you now?" asked Louis, face barely an inch away from Harry's face.

"You may" breathed Harry out shakily.

Immediately, Louis pressed his lips gently onto Harry's lips and started to slowly kiss him. Harry kissed him back with the same amount of emotions in the kiss as Louis. Not wanting to overdo anything and feeling Harry's hand on his waist, Louis broke away from the kiss, earning a whine from Harry in return.

"Shall we finish this m ...".

"Hell no. That movie is shit" cut Harry him off with a laugh, making Louis laugh too. "But we could finish something else".

"Pretty forward for my little Mr Innocent" ghosted Louis his lips over Harry's again before he pulled away.

"Louis" wailed Harry like a child.

"No can do. You're still sick, we just made up a second ago and we're both bloody virgins. I'm not rushing things in the heat of the moment just because I have you back for real now. No, that would be wrong" stated Louis surely. This would be a mistake now.

"Wait, I thought you and Zayn did ...".

"We never did that, if you want to know" cut Louis him off. "We never went that far. We thought it would be too far if we did it together. Maybe we never crossed the line between friendship and awkwardness with anything we did, but we sure as hell would have crossed that line with doing that".

"Oh. So, you um ... never err ..." was Harry looking for the right words but then just fell silent.

"Had sex? No, Haz. I wasn't ready for that and wanted it to be special. With someone special. I've never thought I'd actually find that someone special though. I always expected to lose my virginity to a stranger with forty or something like that" let Louis him know and tried to finish this weird topic.

"Now you don't have to do this anymore. You have me and I only want you. I want everything with you" looked Harry deeply into his eyes, sure of his words.

"Me too, Haz. But not right now. Don't feel pressured into doing it with me just because we're in a relationship now. We have time. First of all, you should get better. I want it to be perfect for you. We don't need to rush things. It happens when it's supposed to be, not when you're sick" caressed Louis Harry's cheek gently.

"But I feel a lot better, don't you?" checked Harry curiously.

"I felt better as soon as you asked for me to stay" admitted Louis with red cheeks.

"And I never want you to leave again. You're so special, making me feel all safe and comfortable and never pressuring me into anything. I simply can't function without you" confessed Harry fondly.

"We don't work without each other. Simple as that" pecked Louis Harry's lips before he lay down in bed again.

"Cuddle?" stuck Harry his bottom lip out with big eyes.

"Always" smiled Louis with open arms at him.

Happily, Harry cuddled up to Louis and wrapped his arms around Louis' stomach. Lovingly, Louis placed one hand on Harry's waist and with the other he interlaced their fingers on his stomach, resting his head on top of Harry's curls. Breathing in unity, they fell asleep like that, their hearts beating in love and every trace of sickness, guilt or anger long forgotten. 

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Question of the Chapter: Why were they feeling sick like this?