Depressed and really pissed off, Louis was sulking in the back of the room, sitting at the bar counter with a drink in his hand and he had no idea how many he had had before. He felt like a shitty friend for avoiding Zayn at his own birthday party on his special day, but Louis did it for a reason. He had still congratulated him first thing in the morning and given him his well-thought-of gift. Special Art supplies for his special artist friend. Zayn has been ecstatic about it and had hugged Louis long and tight and for the first time in a few days, Louis had felt kinda happy again.

This was gone as soon as Zayn was gone, and Louis was brought back to his reason for avoiding him for days like literally everyone else except for Harry. And he was the reason for all of this. Harry was the reason for everything that was going through Louis' mind.

Since their trip to Manchester Louis hasn't been himself. The fight with Harry was present in his head every single day and he was trying to make up for it. Harry's words never left his mind and he did everything in his power to be better for him. That might sound stupid to outsiders, but Harry and Louis were bonded by fate and Harry had voiced how disappointed he was in Louis indirectly but stayed because it was supposedly meant to be. The least Louis could do was giving his best to be the boyfriend Harry always had wanted.

The moment they were back home, Louis had started his mission to improve himself. He was always awake before Harry to use the bathroom, look more presentable and less messy and Harry didn't have to drag him out of bed anymore. Louis hated mornings but, well. Forcedly, he tried to keep his mess at a minimum and cut his sass short to not annoy Harry even more. He gave up his usual food and switched to healthy food so that Harry no longer had to complain about Louis getting sick or fat in the long run. He studied even harder and read more into Harry's interests like photography and ignored anything football related. Barely had he any time to see his friends, especially Zayn who he knew Harry was still jealous of or not amused by their history and preferred if Louis stayed away from him, what he did now. And he always put nice things on Harry's desk in the morning or afternoon and was there every day when he came back from his lesson and if not, he texted him nice little messages.

Did he get a smile or a thank you or appreciation for it? Not at all. Harry barely talked to him these past days. He was always on the go, talking neutrally to Louis if he had to, not answering his texts and calling him mate. When Louis came home and waited for Harry, all he got was a short greeting, a pat on the shoulder and usually an 'I'm off to Niall' or 'I have another course' or since newest 'I'm meeting up with Tiffany'.

Tiffany. That bitch, whoops he meant girl out of one of Harry's music courses, who studied music too. That very pretty, smart and music interested chic Harry spent all of his time with and rejected Louis for. That cow Harry was dancing with shamelessly at the moment and was totally obvious checking him out and flirting with him. That bitch, which was touching Louis' man, who didn't seem to care. Yeah, she was a bitch in Louis' eyes, and he wasn't sorry for it anymore.

But he couldn't go over there. Last time he had let his jealousy take over his body and he had claimed his boyfriend, said boyfriend was pissed off and he almost lost him. So no claiming anymore and no big scene. Just watching Harry with that bitch and other greasy people around them, eye-fucking him, while Louis had to sit back and balled his hands into fists to keep himself from being stupid. He couldn't blame those people. Harry was handsome and attractive and cute and oh so innocent. His innocence was radiating out of him and some sick people were turned on by that fact. Louis wanted to punch them all but held himself back. Nice and kind was what Harry wanted from him. Not sassy and bitchy and moody and violent and possessive.

"Hey Tommo, not coming over to Zayn and Àmber?" approached Shawn him and took a seat next to him.

"Not in the mood for dancing" lied Louis nonchalantly.

"Me neither. I need a break" took Liam the seat on the other side of Louis.

The party was taking place at Nikki's flat, or her parents'. It was a huge flat where they had celebrated New Year's Eve, too. So many people were here and half of them were unknown to Louis. Of course, Nikki was here with her three best friends Victoria, Bailey and Maya. Then there were those guys out of Niall's and Harry's courses, Brandon Sebastian Patrick and Max. Classmates of Liam like Chris or Aidan, who was Shawn's other friend. Luke, a guy out of Louis' course was here too and well, Tiffany. It was that many people. They even had an own little bar with two bartenders in the flat and that's where Louis was sitting at. Now with Shawn and Liam.

"Shouldn't you be with your boyfriend? It's his big day" wondered Louis, looking at Liam.

"I was with him the whole time but now my feet need a break" replied Liam weirdly and Louis kind of knew that wasn't the real reason.

"Same, mate. I can't take one more step for a while. Niall is crazy sometimes" nodded Shawn along with Liam. Strange.

"But you love it" nudged Liam Shawn's side.

"Guess I do" laughed Shawn light-heartedly.

"And how are you holding up, lad?" addressed Liam now Louis.

"Amazing. Why?" faked Louis a smile.

"We've seen you sitting here for a while now. Drink after drink, watching the dancefloor. Just checking how you're doing" answered Liam slowly and Louis knew with we he meant Zayn, who was probably worried about his best friend.

"I wanted to give you some time and not be a burden. I'm good and enjoying my drinks" said Louis in a forced light voice.

"Sure you're good? I have eyes, you know? I can see things happening in this room, too" eyed Shawn him, definitely referring to Harry. "You've been different these last couple of days. More reserved. Almost gone".

"I needed a change. Wanna be more responsible" shrugged Louis nonchalantly.

"You're one of the most responsible people I know. What's this all about, Tommo?" asked Shawn alarmed.

"Nothing. Just wanting to change and ...".

"But not because of Harry, right?" cut Liam him off horrified. Louis fell silent and avoided their eyes.

"Louis, you should never change for someone, not even your soulmate. You're good the way you are" tried Shawn to reason with him.

"Not good enough for him though" murmured Louis quietly.

"Louis, what ...".

"Shawn! Come over here" shouted Niall across the room, getting a lot of people's reactions.

"Just go. I'm fine. Have fun with Niall" told Louis him with a brave smile, feeling sad now.

"You sure?" checked Shawn worried.

"Always" gave Louis him a thumbs up.

"Fine" sighed Shawn out and walked across the room over to Niall, who was accompanied by Aria.

"Louis, can I give you an honest advice?" lay Liam a hand gently on Louis' shoulder.

"If you can't hold it back" shrugged Louis, trying to come off as unbothered.

"Talk to him. This isn't healthy. You're not yourself anymore. Barley a shadow of the boy I've got to know all these months ago. I don't know what game he is playing, but this isn't good for you or fair in any way. You deserve better than that and I want you to be truly okay. Please, talk to him. Honestly" advised Liam him, but it sounded more like a desperate plea.

"I – I can try" stuttered Louis overwhelmed. Liam's words had caught him off guard.

"That's all I want" offered Liam him a genuine smile. Something Louis hasn't seen in a while. "Well then, guess I go back over to Zayn. Join us when you're ready, okay?".

"Okay" agreed Louis weakly.

He watched Liam walk over to a happily dancing Zayn, who was engulfed in a cute hug from Liam as soon as he had reached him. They kissed shortly and smiled at each other and Louis felt a pang in his heart seeing them like this. Quickly, he looked away and downed the rest of his drink before ordering a new one. Yes, he had agreed on talking to Harry, but he hadn't said when.

Minutes turned into hours and harmless beers turned into more powerful drinks and Harry and Tiffany's dancing turned into them grinding against each other until Niall walked in between them and took over. But that wasn't any better because Harry was now sexily dancing with him too and had Tiffany behind him, still touching parts she shouldn't. Louis felt his jealousy and possessiveness coming back and he drowned them in more alcohol, feeling his head spin a bit by now.

At one point Louis started talking to the nice bartender, whose name was Phil Louis got to know. Talking to Phil made Louis sober up a bit because he was drinking slower now and even some water in between given to him by Phil. Still, he could see Harry dancing with Niall and Tiffany and he never stopped and didn't even glance at Louis once. Phil had noticed Louis' state and tried to distract him which turned into jokingly flirting on both sides. That lightened Louis' mood a bit, but nothing could completely distract him from Harry when his marks were always burning, longing for him.

"You're definitely very charming and good-looking and funny" wiggled Phil his eyebrows funnily at Louis in a joking manner.

"I know" cackled Louis, still a little bit drunk.

"What do you think you're doing here?" sounded a voice behind Louis, oddly familiar, and the next second, he was dragged off his chair by the wrist and turned around. When he had found back his balance and looked up Louis was met with a furious-looking Harry.

"I'm talking to Phil. Problem with that?" crossed Louis his arms over his chest defensively.

"Yes, because talking? More like flirting" flared Harry's nostrils.

"As if you didn't do this the whole night" snorted Louis annoyed. Meanwhile, Phil was creeping away to leave them alone to it.

"I was just dancing with Niall" claimed Harry, leaving out the Tiffany part and Louis wondered why.

"Thanks for reminding me of that" rolled Louis his eyes.

"Why is Niall such a red light for you? Don't you know that ...".

"And why are you even here right now?" cut Louis him off. "You didn't seem to care about me before I started talking to someone, who actually paid attention to me".

"I heard Liam talking to Zayn. He told him he is worried about you because you were drinking so much and talked to strangers. Why are you drinking again?" let Harry him know in that judgemental tone.

"So, you're spying on our friends now?" avoided Louis the question.

"Seems like I have to. They're worried about you on Zayn's birthday. You should really be a bit more responsible and caring and less like your father. It's Zayn's birthday. It's not all about you" said Harry coldly, disappointment lacing in his voice.

"I know I'm shit. No need to tell me that again" snivelled Louis before he started to walk away from Harry. He felt pathetic now.

With tears prickling in his eyes and without looking back, Louis pushed through the people until he had found an empty room far away from everyone. He closed the door and walked over to the window. It was a bedroom. Louis guessed it was a guest room of some sort.

Just a few seconds later the door to his safety hide-out was opened and Harry walked in. He closed the door again, this time locking it, and just stood there, staring at Louis' back because he was still facing the window. He didn't need to turn around to know it was Harry. He felt it. Stupid soulmate connection.

"Louis, what's wrong?" echoed Harry's voice through the deadly silent room, tension hanging heavy above them.

"Are you seriously asking me what's wrong?" spun Louis around to him in disbelief.

"Um yes? I can't read your mind just because we're bonded. You have to tell me what's bothering you. Although I should be the mad one" replied Harry, annoyance clearly noticeable in his voice.

"Why? Because I talked to someone? God damn it, Harry! Phil was just doing his job, serving me my drinks and being nice. He noticed I was feeling off and tried to distract me. You wanna know why he even had to distract me?" approached Louis his boyfriend now. He was trying to be strong, but he felt his voice becoming shaky again.

"Why?" gulped Harry nervously.

"Because you, my oh-so faithful and innocent boyfriend, were shamelessly dancing with that bitch and stupid wanker you call your best friend. I'm actually surprised you haven't made out yet, but what didn't happen can still be done, huh?" tried Louis to keep his voice steady and tears at bay, but inside he was crumbling.

"Louis, I didn't ... I wasn't ... I um ..." stumbled Harry over his words helplessly, having never seen Louis this riled up.

"Oh come on" rolled Louis his eyes. "At least admit it. I have eyes and they work mostly fine. I saw how you were dancing with Tiffany and let her touch you and how Niall was only making it worse and ...".

"Niall is bonded to Shawn. Why would I do anything with him?" cut Harry him off confusedly.

For a moment Louis fell silent. He didn't know Shawn and Niall were bonded and from the sound of Harry's voice and words probably romantically bonded. No one had told him that. Maybe Louis should have been a bit more attentive to the world around him and Harry at times.

"That doesn't mean you can't have feelings for him anyway" found Louis his voice back. "Just because he is already bonded, you don't stop liking him automatically. You can still love him and it's obvious you do. Maybe you're falsely bonded to me, but that doesn't mean you have to want me".

"What are you talking about? Of course, I want you" blinked Harry at him shocked.

"But not for who I really am" exploded Louis, tears falling down now.

"What do you mean?" frowned Harry, taken back by his outburst.

This confusion hurt Louis even more. That Harry didn't even realise what he did and how he made Louis feel was almost worse than feeling like a huge and utter disappointment already.

"How can you be so ignorant? Do you really not know how you make me feel by what you're doing? You told me how disappointed in me you are, how irresponsible I always am, compared me to my father and told me that you don't want someone like me as your boyfriend. You expected something different from this bond and it shows. I can see it in your face every day. If I see your face that is" was Louis full-on crying by now. Over and over again, he tried to wipe his own tears away but it was useless.

"Louis, I ...".

"I tried to be better for you, Harry" continued Louis talking and didn't give Harry the chance to talk, hiccupping by now. "I wanted to be better for you. I tried to change who I am and improve myself so that I'd be good enough for you, but you didn't even notice it. You were too busy ignoring me for eight days and rather spent time with that bitch Tiffany. I tried to be less annoying and stopped being sassy. I stood up earlier, so you didn't have to wake me up anymore. I was always there when you came home or texted you if I couldn't be there, but you never texted me back or said more than a simple hello. I tried everything to make you smile, but you never appreciated anything. You left me alone the whole time and made me feel like shit. I don't know what to do anymore".

By now Louis was almost choking on his own tears and his vision was blurry. He could barely see Harry's facial expression anymore, but he could see the paleness in his face and Louis wasn't sure what that meant.

"But I told you this would happen. I told you from the start a mark meant nothing and a bond wouldn't hold two people together that simply don't belong together. You said I wouldn't regret giving us a try, but I do. I regret it. I never wanted to be this hurt. I knew I'm not good enough for you and that you want something different. Destiny chose the wrong person for you. I'm not worthy of you or your future forced love and you know it. I knew I'd lose you sooner or later. Well, it was pretty soon, but better now than in a few years when I'm already used to your presence. Better now when I can still figure out how to deal with the pain of being apart from you and block out the burning feeling in my arm because I know it'll get worse over the years. This is exactly what I was afraid of, but please don't pretend to care about me. Don't just stay because you feel like you have to, or you pity me. Go and find that real soulmate of yours, who is worthy and good enough to be yours. I might be reminded of you for the rest of my life by those stupid marks, but maybe if I'm lucky they're gonna fade away someday and only the mental scars are left. Don't worry. I'm gonna be okay".

The tears were streaming down like waterfalls, no matter how hard he tried to stop them. His marks were hurting, and he scratched over them to numb the pain he was feeling inside. He had known all along that he wasn't meant to have a soulmate that stays. He had told Harry that and now he knew this was the moment.

"What have I done?" heard Louis Harry gasp in a whisper under his breath. Louis completely ignored that. He didn't do anything apart from having faith in something that was doomed to fail anyway.

"Louis, I'm so sorry" croaked Harry out and that made Louis' head snap up. With big eyes, Louis realised Harry was crying too.

"You don't have to be sorry. You can't help it" brought Louis out between his sobs.

"Stop putting this all on you. I fucked up big time and you're blaming yourself. I'm so sorry for being a horrible person" hung Harry his head low in shame.

"What are you on about?" furrowed Louis his eyebrows together.

"I ignored you on purpose and spent more time with Tiffany instead," told Harry him ashamed.

"What? Why would you ...?".

"I tried to teach you a lesson, Louis" interrupted Harry him and those words hit Louis unprepared. He had no idea how to feel or react to that confession.

"I know this is a horrible thing to do, but I still did it" continued Harry when Louis stayed silent. "I was mad at you for not standing up for me and felt like you simply didn't care, and I know this is stupid because I know you do. Truth be told, my ego was hurt, and I wanted to make you see what you'd be missing if you lost me for good. So, I was never home and ignored your texts and barely talked to you and danced with Tiffany the whole night".

"I don't know what to say" stated Louis perplexed. He felt a mix between relief, anger and something he couldn't quite describe.

"Please, don't say anything tonight. You're drunk and I'm a shit person for everything I have done, but we can work this out later. I'm sure. I'm truly sorry for what I did. I didn't realise how wrong it was until I saw your tears. With everything I did I made you feel unworthy and not good enough and made all of your fears come true right in front of your eyes. The fears I knew about but chose to ignore or even forget. I'm sorry. I'm the one who doesn't deserve you, Louis" apologised Harry to him desperately, hoping he would be forgiven.

"I wanna leave" was the only thing Louis said to this. He was exhausted and felt like shit after all this crying and his tearful confession just to be hurt in a totally new and different way. Harry thought Louis needed to learn a lesson, which meant he wasn't good enough in the end.

"Of course. Yeah. Should I ...?" trailed Harry off, tears still prominent on his face and Louis knew what he was trying to ask.

"No, I wanna be alone, but thanks" declined Louis with a dry throat.

Harry wordlessly nodded and unlocked the door for Louis. Without another glance at Harry, Louis left the room and walked straight towards the front door. One last time he let his eyes wander over the room full of his friends, spotting Zayn dancing with Liam right next to Aria and Àmber, and then he was out. Still silently crying, he walked back to the dorm and when he fell down on his bed and snuggled sadly into his pillow, he was out of tears and fell asleep with way too many depressing thoughts in his head. 

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Question of the Chapter: Are Harry's actions justified?