Wooyoung | San

I felt dirty, everything in me felt so weak.

San went out of the house for a while after the choking incident, I couldn't tell how he felt, I couldn't read him at all. Then again, I never really can.

I barely know San and I'm only realizing it now, he barely knows me. It's not the time to think of these things, I shouldn't stress myself out but if not now, when?

The bruises were so prominent, the purples and faint blues stood out like no other. It was like some type of sick painting.

I sighed and continued staring at the white ceiling, smelling his shirt that I was wearing from time to time. It was extremely late and San still wasn't here. Just what is he doing?

My mind drifted back to his hands around my neck.

I didn't mind it....

The choking didn't bother me one bit, that's the scary part. I just didn't care, the lack of air excited me almost, the idea of dying by his hands made me....happy.

I smiled at the thought of death by the hands of Choi San.

I tossed and turn before finally, sleep came.

———————-

I jumped at the sudden slam of a door, it was loud, it was angry.

If it was the boy I thought it was, I knew all of that anger would be taken out on me. I sighed and got of bed, stretching a bit before preparing myself for the beat down that awaited me.

I walked down the steps slowly to see a fuming San, he looked like he was on fire, I could almost see smoke coming from his nose as he breathed.

He collected himself and breathed slower, not noticing my presence at all.

He locked eyes with me, they didn't hold any emotion, they were lifeless. "y-you're finally here" I tried to smile, he nodded his head and ran his slender fingers through his seemingly wet hair.

"Where did you go?" I asked, hoping to get something out of the weirdly quiet boy. "Shut the fuck up." He said lowly.

Of course I did as he said.

"I think someone saw" he finally said after a long silence, I froze in my spot. "S-saw what exactly?" I asked, hoping it wasn't what I thought it was.

His eyes darkened, he smiled a small twisted smile. I knew what it was at this point. "Don't play dumb baby doll" he said, breathing at an inhuman pace, he was mad.

His breathing got stronger and stronger, I needed to calm him down, even though I myself was not calm nor collected.

"sannie" I spoke softly, walking towards him slowly. One wrong move and I would be the punching bag.

"Sannie breathe" I said, walking even closer. His breathing subsided, seemingly to have slowed down. I smiled a sweet smile at him hoping it'd help a bit.

He looked up at me, this time with soft eyes as I stroked his dark hair with my fingertips. For the first time, I saw emotion, it was a real emotion, not just lust.

This moment was perfect.

In the small amount of time that we've known each other, this is the first time he looked at me, like really looked at me. Usually, lustful looks we're all I received from the boy, this.....this was not that.

"so.....what do we do now sannie?" I sighed, sitting down on the chair next him, he was officially calmed down. "I'm not sure if they saw our faces or not....I overheard someone in a bar I was in that their friend thought they saw something or someone getting buried."

I sighed out of frustration, "d-do we leave Seoul?? W-what do we do?" I said, freaking out a bit. "Just shut up for a second let me think" he sighed, yet again, I did as I was told.

Silence fell, all that was heard was the faint breathing of my frustrated lover across from me, if you could even call him that.

Sirens erupted causing both of us to jump.

"s-sannie-"

"Shut. Up." He interrupted.

He began mumbling something to himself before smiling darkly, "those probably aren't for us, so just......be quiet okay?" He said a bit softer this time, I nodded my head weakly and squeezed my eyes shut, I'm scared.

He was right, the sirens past his house quickly, fading into the distance.

He stood up and headed to his room I presume, I just stayed in my seat, not bothering to move.

We're fucked aren't we?

I laughed a little at the thought, of course we're fucked why wouldn't we be? Our lives haven't given us anything but trouble, I'm just unlucky.

Then again the person could've seen us burying the bunny, i grimaced at the images that flashed in my mind of the poor animal, ew.

I soon decided it would be best if I sat with the boy, whether it result in pain or not. I sighed and began heading up the steps.

I entered the room and saw a calm San, I sighed in relief, I don't think I could take any spanking today anyway.

"You know we're going to get caught right" his voice echoed through the room, "don't say that sannie" I said, mostly trying to calm myself down.

How could all of this happen so quickly?

He sighed and walked over to me, stopping when he was right in front. His lips connected to mine softly, wait......softly?

The kiss was passion filled, it felt like an apology almost. No no, he wouldn't apologize, he hasn't done anything wrong.

I kissed back with just as much passion, that was until I felt something wet brush across my cheek, then another one, then another one. Then eventually I had to pull away, was he.....crying?

"I'm sorry" he whispered

I could barely hear it, it's almost like my brain blocked it out. Never did I think I'd see Choi San cry, never did I think I would get an apology, never did I think I would kill a man for him.

"Sannie-"

"Wooyoung I'm sorry"

Sometimes I forget I have a name, I forget it exists. He says it so nicely.....

He held my face in his hands, seeing him like this made me tear up too, "Sannie stop crying" I sniffled.

"My wooyoung I'm so sorry"

My tears wouldn't stop dropping, every small cry he let out made my chest hurt, I felt like I was in pain.

I connected our lips this time, it was brief and soft, but much needed. "Sannie please"

"Wooyoung-"

"Sannie stop"

He looked down at the ground, "w-we won't get caught okay? We'll be fine, y-you have no reason to be sorry" I spoke, wiping every tear of his that fell.

"I'm going to turn myself in" he whispered

"W-what did you say?"

"Im going to turn my-"

"YOU CANT"

I saw a flash of anger in his eyes but it pasted quickly, "s-sorry I shouldn't have yelled"

"No today, but soon"

The thought of him leaving me made me sob, I'm the one who did it. "I did it so I'll turn myself in okay?" I cried out, he just shook his head.

"Wooyoung"

"Sannie you can't leave me I did it ok? I'll go so please-"

"Wooyoung"

The stern voice stopped me, I had crossed the line again.

"Sannie I'll go, I'll go to jail, y-you don't deserve so-"

"DONT YOU REALIZE IVE BEEN USING YOU? HAS IT NOT CROSSED YOUR MIND? WOOYOUNG IM A HORRIBLE FUCKING PERSON, SO JUST FUCKING LEAVE"

I flinched, he's done many things but he has never yelled at me before. San was always calm and collected, it seemed like he didn't care about anything ever, right now, I feel like I'm seeing a whole different person.

"Sannie let's go together, we can be together-"

"Wooyoung."

"San I-"

"Jung wooyoung."

I stopped.

"Get out and go home."

"Sannie please"

Everything hurts, my heart hurts.

He grabbed my stuff quickly and put it in my hands, "leave"

Grabbing my wrists, he led me down the steps forcefully, "Sannie-"

The door was slammed in my face.

—————-
A/n: this took me way too long to write and it's not even that good 🧎🏽‍♀️tell me if you like it or not. Also yes if you're wondering there will be smut, love you!!

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