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I didn't dare to raise my eyes and possibly meet the ones of this filthy human. My gaze was glued to the rug that looked out from under the bed I was sitting on. I pulled up my legs and encircled them with my weak arms, somehow trying to protect what was left of me.

Heavy footsteps echoed through the room and in that moment, they were the only thing I could hear. It was like my mind purposely focused on the bad. I averted my gaze from the rug when I saw nicely polished shoes appearing on it and a few seconds later I felt the man coming to a stop right in front of my fragile frame.

"Is that how you greet me?" A deep ironic chuckle rang in my ears and brought me shivers. Still never taking my eyes away from the corner of the wall that I decided to observe, I suddenly got ripped out of my little bubble by someone's firm grip on my face. My head was turned upwards to meet his face.

"I'm talking to you. Donghyun sure told me that you were a feisty one but not that you were disrespectful as well. I want you to look at me when I'm talking to you, understand?" My cheeks were starting to hurt and my eyes were tearing up at this pain spreading inside of me, when I thought that I couldn't even feel any more of it. I directly looked at his dark brown, cold eyes and his curly hair that hadn't been cut in a while. Everything I saw I immediately despised. I yanked my head to the side to free myself from the harsh grip on me and focused back on the corner. He pulled his hand away and from the corner of my eye I could see him putting it in the pocket of his pants. A hot tear rolled down my face when he crouched down in front of me and placed his huge hands on my thighs, to press them down and make me leave my comforting position.

He brought his fingers up to brush some hair behind my ear and I wasn't even capable of denying his move anymore.

"Shh, you're not supposed to cry." His thumb brushed away the wetness on my face caused by my traitor tears. Why would he touch me like that and tell me reassuring words when he was the cause of this? "Because I'm not good at giving comfort. Well, I mean I could be... it's just not what I do." Asshole.

I brought up my wrist to wipe the remaining tears away but continued to stare blankly at the corner.

"Look at me, for god's sake." He was starting to lose patience with me and I could hear it in his tone of voice. Not wanting to be a victim of his punishment anymore, I finally gave in and slightly turned my head to look at him. "That's it. You're so beautiful, it would be a shame if I didn't get to see your face.." He lightly slapped one of my thighs and got up with a deep sigh, my eyes obediently following his every move.

"Now that your attention is on me, listen very carefully. I'm not going to tell you twice. Also, don't count on Jieun, I know that she's sometimes a little too nice to our new guests but I'll make sure that she keeps her mouth shut this time." Jieun received a deadly glare and hurriedly looked down at her own fingers in embarrassment. I automatically scooted back on my bed a little, my feet weren't touching the floor anymore now. Noticing how he watched me intently and didn't look pleased, I moved back to where I was before and stayed still for the rest of the time.

"You're here for a reason, which I can't tell you about now and you probably will never know." My questioning eyes followed him pacing around the room. "Your family – or should I say the remainder of it – obviously knows that you're gone. Your dear friend, what was her name again? Ah yes, Mina of course. She was worried sick about you but I think it wouldn't surprise you if I told you that she already stopped looking for you." 

That fucking asshole. If I could, I would've killed him right then and there with my bare hands. How dare he make me feel even more like nothing but a piece of dirt when I already feel like shit on my own. He apparently caught my fiery eyes and smiled to himself while coming closer.

"Aw, did my words upset you?" Two of his finger pushed up under my chin so that I was looking up to him. I suppose that was exactly what he wants – people looking up to him. No matter how hard I tried, I failed at making my tears start from streaming.

"But in all honesty, I really don't want to give you false hope. That's why I'm telling you right away that whoever is looking for you, will never find you here. It's not even worth trying, to be honest." Again, a disturbing smile covered his face while he moved back away and finally stopped touching me.

"Why the fuck did you take me? Why me?" It took some time for me to realize that this desperate cry for help came out of my own mouth. Feeling disassociated with my own body I couldn't even control what was happening anymore. I didn't want to speak up, I didn't want to do anything that could make him go mad and possibly hurt me even more. Who knew what he was capable of? But some driving force inside of me thought it was a good idea to voice out my deepest struggles right now.

"That's actually a good question. I just want you to know that you're special. I honestly don't even really know what it is about you that made me want to have you. I can't explain. I just want you to know that you are sitting here right now in my favorite color – never was anyone before allowed to do that. Consider it an honor." I scoffed at his disgusting words that suddenly seemed so funny to me. What the fuck was going on? I couldn't stop myself from letting out a dry laugh.

"Mind telling me what it is that is so funny to you?" He crouched back down in front of me and looked up. I lightly nodded but turned my expression back to a blank one in a sudden.

"You." I just proceeded to stare him right back into his dirty eyes, not making any move or saying another word. For some short seconds, it felt like I could sense some confusion in his piercing gaze. It was gone as quickly as it came.

"What?" Was he fucking dumb?

"I said: You. You are funny to me." The adrenaline of fear rushing through my veins made me get back at him in a way I never expected it to happen. Why was I so bold all of a sudden? Was this my body still trying to save me somehow?

A harsh and short blow on the side of my face made all my thoughts shut down and caused the tears to just rush up and out of my eyes. I brought my sweaty palm up to cup my stinging cheek and looked up at the man that was now towering over me again. "Why the fuck would I – out of all people here – be funny to someone so small and pathetic like you?" His question came out more as a growl but made my blood freeze. Still, I wasn't going to let this stop me. I might as well go even further.

"Because you're a fucking narcissistic asshole. Praising yourself all the time, telling me how it's supposed to be a fucking HONOR to sit here in your filthy green satin clothes while my flesh is fucking falling off of my bones because I nearly don't eat as much as I should be. Oh yes, thank you so much for gifting me this nice lace set I would prefer it over some food any day." I scoffed and took a breather, now tasting the blood on my cut lip that was dripping into my mouth slowly. "You took away everything I had and you have the fucking courage to stand like that in front of m-"

My sentence abruptly got cut off by another hit on the same side of my face. I winced at this impact and laid back down to stop my head from spinning and feeling dizzy. "Watch your filthy ass mouth you fucking bitch. Learn to behave or you'll get even less food you ungrateful piece of shit." I propped myself up on my arms as best as I could, only to watch him and Jieun leave. Even though I was feeling the worst I have ever felt in my life, I also felt a small sense of victory. He cut off my sentence and didn't want to hear what I had to say – that must mean that he recognized some of the truth in my words.

I was still thinking about my victory when I noticed a blond haired man giving me a quick glance before leaving the room as well.

***

He didn't lie when he told me he would bring me even less food. It has been three days without any food and I was certain that I'd be dead by now if it weren't for me drinking some tap water when I was brushing my teeth. My face was badly bruised, my eye was black and the cut on the side of my lip ripped open once more when I accidentally brushed my teeth too harshly. It took a while for me not to taste any blood in my mouth anymore after the visitors left that day. My plan was to keep going, keep looking for a way out and keep talking to Jieun to find out more things but my spirits were down and I wasn't positive that they would ever be up again.

I didn't have contact with Jieun except for when she would escort me to the bathroom and that meant we were constantly surrounded by some type of guards that also led me down the hallway, blocking every chance of me running away. By now, I probably had gone through every possibility of escape and not one of them seemed to work even halfway. I mean, of course they wouldn't.

***

Some days I would just lay in bed and do nothing, cry everything that I had in me out and fall asleep in the same position I woke up in. On other days, I would read through three books, sitting in the armchairs with a view out on the trees that were slowly starting to lose all their colorful leaves. If someone from an outside perspective would have looked at me, it could've almost seemed as if I was just a normal girl being obsessed with books and never leaving her room. Truth is, I became obsessed with books. Even if nothing could make me forget about the current state I was in, the stories in all the books I read were the closest thing to freedom I had. That was why when I finished one book, I had to dive right into the next one to not create a timeframe where I could feel overwhelmed with my situation again. Books were what kept me sane – as best as they could.

Jieun started to slowly bring food again but very irregularly. Nonetheless, it was better than nothing and I was thankful for her. We didn't talk anymore, his threat having brought us too much distress. But still, she was the only one that seemed to care – even if she couldn't do anything about it.

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It heavily knocked on my door and I shot up out of my comfy position on one of the armchairs I was sitting in. Jieun and the two men came stomping into my room and I was surprised because Jieun didn't tell me. Maybe she didn't know. I knew I couldn't rely on her but it was a natural reaction of me to do so.

"Get up." Harshly grabbing me by my upper arm, he pulled me upwards to make me stand on my feet while the book I was currently reading got tossed to the floor. I winced at his touch and took a few steps back to gain some safe space.

"Why aren't you dressed properly?" His gaze burned holes into my eyes as I was too startled to answer quickly. "Why?"

"I.... I didn't know you were coming here.." His long fingers stroked back some of his hair and he walked over to my desk where the green set was placed, neatly folded. No one had touched it after his visit a week ago, it was just lying there, catching dust.

"Bullshit," he mumbled and threw the clothing over at me so I could barely even catch it. "Wear it." I crumpled up the fabric in between my trembling fingers while he impatiently stepped closer. "Where did your bold attitude go? I want you to wear the fucking clothes, now."

His voice felt like lightning jolting through my body with too much electricity. I scrambled and took a few steps towards Jieun, expecting her to bring me to the washing room.

"Where are you going? I want you to wear the clothes, not trying to get out."

"But, I can'-"

"Who the fuck cares? Undress yourself and put on the green set. Is that so hard?" Was he seriously expecting me to undress myself in front of three people? As bad as I was feeling, this wasn't something I was comfortable with. On the other hand, I stopped longing for comfortable things a couple of weeks ago and should be used to it by now.

"What is taking you so long?" He took two large steps towards me and wrapped his hand tightly around my throat. "Are you trying to disrespect me again?" My air flow got cut off rapidly and I could feel the air escaping from my lungs but not filling them back up. I shakily shook my head and whimpered an embarrassing "no". He immediately retrieved his hand and I stumbled back, hurriedly starting to take off the joggers I was wearing. I didn't want to think about anything, I just wanted to get this over with and never feel as ashamed and exposed again as right now.

My trembling legs were trying to find their way into the hole of the shorts when his dark voice stopped me from doing so. "Underwear off as well." Having expected this outcome, tears started streaming down my face again uncontrollably and I lightly shook my head to deny his order. An unexpected push into my chest made my back and head hit the wall behind me with so much force that it felt like someone banging on my head with a hammer over and over again. "Do as I fucking tell you to. You know I keep my promises when it comes to taking things away from you."

My dizzy head started automatically nodding and I proceeded to pull down my underwear. I turned off everything around me and pretended like nothing was happening. After taking off my underwear I mechanically slipped on the pair of skimpy shorts and lifted my shirt to pull it over my head. I was about to put on the satin shirt when he shot me a deadly glare. My hands unclasped my bra and let it fall down to the floor before I was finally able to cover my skin with fabric again.

He stepped forward and softly placed his palm on the cheek he abused a week earlier. "See? It wasn't all that hard... Now please do me the favor and sit on the bed, will you?" I removed his hand from my face with mine while avoiding his gaze and just blankly following his orders.

"You know...," he started his sentence while walking up and down in front of me. "If you behave and do as I tell you, you might get more freedom. But that solely depends on how you treat me." I hated myself right in that moment because I obediently nodded like a fucking coward.

"I'm telling you now – and it doesn't matter if anyone else hears, because they know already anyways – I'm going to fuck you. And if for some reason you try to resist me, you will get punished. And as I told you and showed you many times before, I do keep my promises." Lowly chuckling he stepped a little closer until his disgusting breath hit the side of my neck.

"And for your information – punishment gets me off and makes me want to fuck that little hole of yours even harder."

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