Chapter 15

Dox Kiel Avelo

"Hey, man nakita niyo si Giyo?" rinig kong tanong ng isa sa mga empleyado habang nag-o-organize ng mga papeles sa dalang cart na tambak ng mga documents na kailangang i-shred. Ito ang trabaho nila sa araw pero kapag gabi, isa siya sa mga assassin ng Lambarde. "Iimbitahan ko sana sa party ko, irereto ko sana sa kapatid ko eh."

"Oh? Nice, man pero wala akong alam saan na ang isang yun. Baka may misyon sa malayo, halos isang buwan na rin."

I tried concentrating on my phone as the fuckers kept on talking.

"Hah. Sayang. Lalasingin ko sana para malahian kami ng pogi."

"Gago. Malahian ng tanginang dugo ng prosti kamo," anang isa habang tumatawa kaya padabog akong tumayo at binangga ang balikat ng isa bago naiiritang lumayo.

Natigil naman ang dalawa sa pag-uusap nang lumingon ako sa kanila.

"Ako lang ang pwede magsalita nang masama tungkol kay Giyo," nakangisi kong sabi. "Baka gusto niyong putulin ko 'yang mga dila niyo?"

Napalunok naman sila at dali-daling humingi ng paumanhin bago tumalilis ng takbo. Pinanlisikan ko ang mga likod nila at tinandaan ang kanilang mga mukha.

I'll kill them later.

Wala ako sa mood.

Nagpatuloy ako sa pagkain ng ice cream at saka ay tumungo na sa 2nd Underground Floor. Napaka-boring ng buhay kapag wala si Gin Yoko Salvador. Tanginang lalaki. Matapos akong pasarapan, ayun at nawala nang parang bula.

Psh. Ano pa ba dapat ang ini-expect ko?

Muli akong tumingin sa phone ko at nakita ang patuloy na tumataas na death count na nakarekord sa ilalim ng pangalan ni Giyo. Huli kong bilang sa akin ay malayo-layo na rito. Nahilot ko ang aking sintido habang sumasakit ang aking ulo.

I need to kill some people again to match him.

—

"Please! Please! Let me go! May anak po ak—" I slashed the woman's neck out without hesitation and grinned.

"Not interested."

The numerous battered and bloody people huddled themselves together. They shivered like filthy little rats with fear and hatred in their eyes. Umiiyak ang marami habang ang iba ay nagdarasal, o 'di kaya'y nagmamakaawa na pakawalan ko sila.

But there was nowhere to hide. I've already started my own killing spree and no one can stop me until I reach Giyo's death count.

Kailangan ko siyang pantayan.

"You know this never gets old," Pacé emerged from the shadows and lit a cigarette with a grin. "Ang saya talagang panoorin ang mga killing spree mo. Hahaha! It's so satisfying!"

Hindi ko na lang pinansin ang sinabi nito at nagpatuloy na sa pagkitil ng mga buhay na itinakda ni Pacé na dapat mamatay ngayon. His hands waved in the air as if he was conducting an orchesta. The mirth in this eyes made him look like a devil in casual clothes.

"Ano kayang sasabihin ni Giyo kung malalaman niya ang ginagawa mo dahil sa kanya? He still doesn't know about the death count, Dox." I paused and glared at him. He coolly puffed some smoke from his cigarette. It stayed around his face for a while before I could see his nasty smile.

"He doesn't have to know."

Nagkibit-balikat lamang si Pacé at saka ay nagsimula nang tingnan ang mga taong nakahandusay sa sahig. Naisip ko ang sinabi nito kaya hindi naging maayos mg pagkakahiwa ko sa leeg ng kaharap na lalaki. The warm blood splashed towards me.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi man lang ako umiwas.

"Ha." I scoffed after feeling the filthy feeling.

Mainit na dugo. Sariwang dugo.

Sa kabaliwan ay walang pasabi akong tumakbo habang dala-dala ang kutsilyo at saka ay mabilis na pinagsusunod-sunod patayin ang mga taong hindi man lang makagalaw dahil nakakadena sila.

Wails, screams, and cries reverberated inside the room together with my loud laughter.

"I thought you had to look them in the eyes before killing them," Pacé chuckled as I paused and glanced at him. "Like for their souls or something."

I looked at the people on the floor. Some trembled before lying completely still. Some look like dead fishes gasping for air with gurgling or bubbling sounds from their throats. Obviously the blood.

"These people don't have souls," sagot ko naman habang tinitingnan ang isang lalaking natagpuan kong buhay pa dahil hindi ko masyadong nadiin ang patalim sa leeg niya. He almost screamed but I was a second quicker as I slit his neck without batting an eyelash.

Fucking noisy gits.

"Whatever you say, Dox. Giyo wouldn't like it if—"

"Putangina. Ba't ba lagi mo siyang dinadamay sa usapan?!" I snapped after finishing my last kill for the day. Kinailangan ko pang i-tsek ang lahat ng ito kung patay na nga ba. Mahirap na.

"I can't help it. You've become more agitated these days," Pacé murmured as he helped me look for a pulse on the dead bodies. Pareho kaming nakasuot ng manipis na surgical gloves habang hinahawakan namin ang katawan ng mga kriminal.

Muli siyang humithit sa sigarilyo at napatitig naman ako roon.

The fucking cigarette made me remember that day Pacé and I made a mistake. Why does he had to smoke today? Psh.

"O ano na naman kung mas lalo akong mairita?" naiinis kong tanong.

"Well, if you're agitated, that means I have to recruit more people in the company," he murmured. "Hindi mo ba alam kung ilan katao na ang pinatay mo na wala man lang sa binigay kong hit list dahil lang naiinis ka?"

I licked my lips and shrugged my shoulders.

"They had to die."

"Naririnig mo ba ang sarili mo?" Umismid ako rito at saka pinagsisipa palayo ang mga bangkay na pangit ang amoy at saka ay tumingin ulit kay Pacé. Nakakunot na ang kanyang noo habang matamang tumitingin sa akin. "You've become a fucking murderer."

"What?" Bumunghalit ako ng tawa. "Ngayon mo lang nariyalisa?"

"No, fuck. Wrong word," he mumbled with a flinch. "I meant, you've become a serial killer." My smile froze and I stared at him with my eyes narrowing into slits. May tinapon ito sa paahan ko kaya napatingin ako roon.

Sumalampak ang newspaper sa duguang sahig pero kahit tumilamsik ang iilang dugo sa front page nito, kita ko pa rin ang headline.

'The Tongue-Tied Serial Killer attacks again'

Their choice of words is funny.

But the report was spot on. The rope marks. Choking. No suicide notes. Just dead, tongue-less and choked to death.

They should be happy I didn't remove their tongues when they were still alive.

"It's been years. Nakatunog na ang mga pulis dahil dumarami na ang namamatay nang pareho ang dahilan Dox." His jaw clenched as the words tumbled out of his mouth. I noticed how he removed the cigarette from his lips after a puff. "Walang kahit anong nalalaman na dahilan sa likod ng pagpatay."

"Well, that's because you made sure to erase their history with Lambarde."

At ayaw ko ring maglagay ng suicide note. It's such a bother.

"Stop killing my employees."

"Then they have to fucking shut their mouths." Napailing ako at saka ay kumuha ng stick ng sigarilyo sa loob ng damit ko. Kaagad ko iyong sinindihan gamit ang lighter ko pero matapos ang iilang pagsubok ay hindi ito gumana. "Fuck. Light up my cigarette, will you?"

Lumapit si Pacé sa akin at walang pasabing hinawakan ang balikat ko. Nanigas ako sa hawak niya. He leaned down and positioned the tip of his cigarette towards mine. Humithit siya nang iilang segundo bago tumingin sa mga mata ko.

Sa lapit niya ay amoy na amoy ko ang usok sa kanyang hininga.

Fuck.

He leaned back and continued smoking while eyeing me. I glared at him but he just chuckled.

"You know I sometimes think Giyo and I are twins. Parehong-pareho kami ng gusto." I gritted my teeth and tried to focus on my cigarette but I saw him smile at me, that fucking smile he gave me the first time I felt his lips on mine. "Too bad though. Ikakasal na ako."

Hindi na ako nakapagsalita pa nang tinanggal niya ang stick ng sigarilyo sa pagitan ng mga labi ko at saka ay tinapon kung saan. He also flicked his finger to get rid of his cigarette.

"Pero pwedeng-pwede pa rin naman kahit kasal na ako, 'di ba?" I gulped as his hands were on my cheeks. Naalala ko kung paano ako hawakan ni Giyo. Parehong-pareho pero ibang-iba sa paghawak ni Pacé. Gusto kong sapakin ang sarili ko dahil naaalala ko na naman ang gagong yun na iniwan lang ako matapos ang isang intense na sex. "Mi amore."

I blinked as I stared at Pacé's eyes. He stared at my lips and licked his own. Bumaba ang mukha niya at nilamukos ako sa isang halik na nakapagpasinghap sa akin. He bit my lips with a low growl and plunged his tongue inside.

Hindi ko na naaamoy ang dugo sa paligid. Ang usok, ang amoy ng sigarilyo ang tuluyang sumakop sa isipan ko.

Tumugon ako ng halik sa kanya at napaungol nang hawakan niya ang aking bewang at saka ay kiniskis ang umbok niya sa aking katawan.

"Fuck, mi amore," he mumbled with a pant and kissed me again. I let his tongue devour my mouth entirely while keeping my hands on his shoulders. "Your lips taste so delicious just like last time, mi amore."

Mi amore, huh?

I couldn't push him when all he wanted was to kiss me. What a guy. I let him know that I enjoyed his kisses by caressing his hair and pulling him close.

"Fuck you, Ace," I mumbled as his kisses went deeper and hungrier.

Ace. That was who he was when he wasn't Pacé. Ace would remain as the man who I let inside my mind and soul because it just so happened that he was there the first time I killed somebody.

He was there like the taste of cigarette in my mouth right now.

He wasn't Pacé Lambarde, my boss. He was Ace, the other man inside the demon of a boss who made me this. We were each other's confidant.

"I love you, mi more," he murmured but I didn't reply and just kept on kissing his jaw. "Forget him, please. Choose me. Choose me, my love."

If it was the old me, I would have vomited because of the cheesiness but he has been with me all these years. He became someone I couldn't ignore. He was the other thing that kept me sane. He was the off button of my switch.

How funny it was for an entity created by the mind to be my anchor in reality.

His hands roamed around my body, squeezing anything he could find, making me gasp at the familiar and unfamiliar feeling. I let him lay me on the floor, the warm blood enough to make me grin.

Oh God. It felt good. It was so fucked up but I liked it.

"Just like last time, mi amore, you can use me," he said and bit my lips before groaning like a wounded wolf. Naalala ko kung paano nito hawakan ang alaga ko noon at isubo na para bang gusto niya akong sambahin. "You can use me to forget him."

His hard-on was already pressed on my stomach when he reached his hand to touch my still soft cock inside my pants. It twitched. It made me feel warm, but not the same heat that could make me so hard and let all my inhibitions go.

Giyo's face flashed in my mind.

"Just kiss me," I murmured and he obliged. Tears streamed on his face as he continued pleasuring my mouth. Pero iyon lang ang meron kami.

Iyon lang ang kaya kong ibigay sa kanya.

"I don't want to leave, mi amore. Pacé won't let me in." Hindi na lang ako sumagot at tumugon sa kanyang halik. "I want to just be with you forever."

I moaned and caressed his hair then slowly, as I stared as his eyes, the emotions drained out. Unti-unti na siyang nawala.

I just stared in boredom when he slowly let go of my lips and then, his expression changed as if he was another person. He widened his eyes. It looked like a hammer just slammed on his face the way he's wincing and he shouted so loud I thought he could wake the dead people around us.

"What the fuck?! Again?!"

Pacé is back.

I rolled my eyes and looked at his crotch.

"Well, look what we have here. You're still hard."

"Goddammit!"

—

"Sorry Dox. Please don't tell Liz or Giyo pleaseeee!"

"Malamang," nakangisi kong sabi habang sumisimsim ng kape. "Your fiancee wouldn't like it if her husband-to-be has a split personality who happened to be attracted to the handsome Dox Kiel Avelo." Napahalakhak ako sa pagkakasimangot ng Boss ko. "And Giyo would definitely kill you."

"Fuck, fuck," ani Pacé habang napapasabunot sa sariling buhok. "I fucking need to get rid of my split personality, Dox. Hindi na siya nagpapaalam sa akin na hihiramin niya ang katawan ko."

"You're nuts. Why would Ace need your permission, dumbass?"

"Tangina naman kasi. I can't just fucking kiss you whenever wherever." Humalukipkip ako at tinitigan siyang parang hindi na alam ang gagawin sa pagkakakagat sa kanyang kuko. "Fucking hell. Why does he even want you so much? Tangina. Wala namang nangyari 'di ba?! We just kissed, right?"

"Yep." I said, popping the p. "Or more like we made out. Man, you were dry humping me. But at least, you weren't giving me a blowjob like last time."

Pacé looked like he just swallowed a fly so I just laughed.

It was a few years ago when it happened the first time, the switch as most people call it. According to Pacé, it doesn't happen often. Ace, his other personality, is mostly silent. He just comes if Pacé needed him and he just acts like the usual Pacé but with cigarettes and all.

Pacé doesn't smoke but Ace does and that's how I know he was there. Nobody knew about it not until that day, that one day when I first killed somebody with tears streaming down my face. I felt Pacé's lips on me. The smell and taste of cigarette comforted me. The way his lips made me feel so loved threw all my thoughts away and I let him kiss me as if he owned me.

It was like that. Kapag nababaliw na ako at nandiyan si Pacé sa tabi ko, lalabas si Ace at ipaparamdam sa akin na importante ako.

It was fucked up. I could clearly remember how Pacé almost fainted after seeing himself on top of me half naked.

Lumakas ang halakhak ko dahil sa naaalala.

"We have to visit Jekyll again, or Hyde or whatever," sabi ni Pacé at napahilamos sa kanyang mukha. "Maybe after the wedding."

"Yeah, yeah," simple kong sabi. Hindi ko na mabilang kung nakailang sessions na kami ng counseling mula sa isang psychiatrist. I helped him the way he helped me or more like, how Ace helped me. The other guy talks and listens to me when I needed him. He knows whenever I hide something but that's just it. He was just someone produced from Pacé's accumulated bad experiences over the years.

Only the psychiatrist, Pacé, and I know about this, about Ace. Mas mabuti na rin iyon.

When I asked why he didn't tell Giyo, Pacé just shut up and didn't say anything.

In front of other people, we pretended it never happened. Whenever Ace didn't show up, Pacé was a boss and an acquaintance. The things we did gets temporarily deleted in our brain like some obvious threat to our system.

But someday, some people have to know. If Giyo ever finds out, I don't think what will happen.

"Kelan mo sasabihin kay Liz?" tanong ko sa kanya at nagpalumbaba sa couch. "She has to know soon."

"I know," he murmured. "But Ace wouldn't like it if I tell Liz. He doesn't even want me to marry Liz."

Tumaas ang kilay ko.

"Bakit ayaw niya kay Liz?" Maganda naman yung babae at cute. Para pang prinsesa.

Tiningnan niya ako na para bang ako ang pinakabobong tao sa mundo.

"Dahil nga may gusto siya sa'yo, gago. Ano ba kasi ang nakita niya sa'yo?" aniya at saka ay napayakap sa sarili na para bang kinikilabutan. "Sigurado ka bang wala kang pagnanasa sa akin, Dox?"

"Ace is a friend and you're my boss."

"A friend and a boss who kisses you?" Pacé asked with furrowed brows. "It's fucked up."

"We're fucked up."

Tumitig si Pacé sa akin nang walang sinasabi. Lumipas ang iilang minutong nakatunganga lang kami. Ganito naman lagi kapag katatapos lang ng "switch". Pareho kaming mag-iisip nang malalim.

"I miss burying myself deep inside Liz's pussy."

Tsk. Sabi ko nga malalim mag-isip ang gago.