You led us all to a small covered area on the upper decks where we could hide from the rain for the night. Rainwater still leaked through the ceiling and we could hear the wooden planks below us creak with every movement, but the sounds were actually soothing. 

You and Mario fell asleep rather quickly. About five minutes after we arrived at our small hiding place I could already hear Mario softly snoring. You didn't snore, you just breathed loudly. Neither bothered me. If anything, the snoring and breathing made me feel more comfortable because it reminded me that you were still there with me. The sounds reminded me that I wasn't alone.

Even so, it did make it hard for me to fall asleep. I could tell Ben felt the same way, because he kept tossing and turning, occasionally covering his ears as if trying to block the sound out.

"You can't sleep either, huh?" I whispered, causing him to turn over and look at me. He then reluctantly shook his head no, almost looking like he felt guilty about it.

"It's okay. It's not your fault," I assured him with a smile. I yawned, then sat up, allowing myself to stretch my arms. After a moment, I tiredly looked over at Ben, who was staring at the mask attached to my belt. His eyes were wide, but they always looked that way so I wasn't sure what to make of his expression.

"You wanna know about my mask?" I asked him.

He shook his head no, then pointed to the pocket behind the mask, where the corner of a crumpled-up note was sticking out.

"Oh, you wanna know more about the notes," I realized aloud. 

To this, he nodded. He then scooted closer to me, curling up on the ground right along my side. I could feel him shaking. He reminded me of a stray puppy. 

"Well... I suppose I can tell you," I breathed. It wasn't like he'd tell anyone else. And besides, I'm sure talking about it would be helpful in some way. Yes, it was hard, but it needed to be done eventually.

"I was writing to someone I used to know. Someone you remind me of, actually," I explained. "I called him Six. His name was Blumiere though. He was small, timid, but brave in his own way."

I continued to release everything that was on my mind. I explained the entire journey Blumiere and I embarked on. I explained how he was the first person who made me feel like I maybe didn't need to do everything alone. I always had high expectations for myself, but with him there I always felt like my goals were more reachable.

Then, I explained how much it hurt when he left me. I talked about how I still wasn't sure whose fault it was. My mind and my heart were constantly fighting when it came to that topic.

"You know," I breathed. "This situation isn't much different from the last. I can't help but feel... I don't know, stuck in some kind of loop. One dangerous adventure ends, only for another to begin. There's no reward for safely getting through the last. I wonder... is my life going to be like this forever? Just adventure after adventure until I die?"

I always told myself that every nightmare had an end. 

But now I'm starting to doubt even my own words.

I never really realized how trapped I felt in this world. A small part of me wished I could just run away from everything. But the heroic part of me would never allow that. There was too much that I had still yet to accomplish, and running away forever wouldn't fix anything.

"I'm scared," I admitted. "I'm scared of being left behind. Of being trapped in this nightmare forever. I'm afraid of losing myself to the madness." 

I wasn't sure if I was talking to Ben or myself anymore. Maybe I was talking to my mask. Who knows? 

"There are times even now where being alone seemed preferable to being in the company of others. When I'm alone, no one else can get hurt. And in turn, no one can hurt me. But the thing is, I don't want to have to do everything on my own. I want backup. I want someone to catch me if I fall. I just... I don't even know what I'm saying anymore."

I felt Ben nod into me, quietly yawning and sleepily blinking. I wasn't sure why, but for some reason, I felt like maybe he could understand.

. . .

Eventually, Ben did fall asleep. I did not, however. Instead, my mind stayed alert. I continued to think about all the people in my life that led me to where I was that day. I thought about how I'd never see any of them again. 

I carefully stood up and ventured around the upper decks, feeling the raindrops fall onto my hair and face. I felt lonely, but I wasn't willing to wake anyone else up to come with me. Besides, I wasn't doing anything important. Just walking around. I could feel the moonlight follow me with each and every step I took. That's when I found it.

A small garden on the ship. The plants were practically being drowned in the soggy soil and they were almost out of control, but I didn't pay the flaws any mind. Instead, my eyes were drawn to a single white flower, sitting on a branch in the corner of the garden.

My vision was still blurry, so I took a few steps closer, gently picking the flower and holding it in my hands. It was small and delicate. 

It looked like the flower I used to have. The one that I held onto in hopes of someday giving it to that kind and gentle girl with flowing white hair. The flower that made me believe in the possibility of love for a person like me. The flower that was crushed right in front of my own two eyes. 

"It's late." Your voice breathed behind me, causing me to clutch the flower to my chest and whirl around. 

Sure enough, there you were, standing in the rain with water dripping off of the corner of your hat, falling onto your shoulders. I tensed up, feeling like a child who had just been caught sneaking out, only you didn't look upset. Your expressions were soft and kind.

They felt familiar.

"... It is," I replied, fidgeting with the flower I was holding, feeling the softness of the delicate petals. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No," you answered. "I woke up on my own and saw that you were missing. It's not safe to walk around here on your own." 

"I know," I admitted.

"You aren't leaving us, are you?" You asked. I could almost detect a hint of sorrow in your voice as if you were afraid of my answer.

"No, no! It's nothing like that," I assured. "I just couldn't sleep. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you..."

You nodded, then squinted your eyes, peering at my hands as if you were trying to identify what I was holding. I clutched the flower a little tighter for a moment, then loosened my grip on it, worried that I had bent and crumpled the petals.

I then looked down at the flower, lowering my hands. 

".... here you go," I whispered, walking towards you and holding the small plant out. 

You raised an eyebrow, then gently took the flower away. I had to fight the instinct to snatch it back and remind myself that you weren't stealing it from me, but that I was giving it to you.

Wait, why was I giving it to you exactly?

"Thank you," you smiled, bringing it to your face and smelling it, only to sneeze a moment later, which in turn made the two of us laugh. 

It was at that moment that I realized I made a good choice in giving the flower to you. I know that I always saved a white flower for the girl of my dreams.... but I don't think she was the girl of my dreams anymore. Truth be told, she was never the girl of my dreams. I didn't love her, I just loved the idea of being loved. 

Giving the flower to you felt more right. Giving it to a friend that I loved and trusted.

I think that was the moment when I realized that maybe I could love you. I never truly considered it a possibility before, but for some reason at that moment, my mind felt changed. It might have been the rain, it might have been the moonlight shining on the two of us, or it might just have been the fact that I was sleep deprived. I suppose I'll never know.

"You're stressed," you said, sitting down and twirling the flower around in your hand. "I can tell."

I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded.

"You're a One... so I know that must be stressful. You feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders... right?"

Again, I nodded, sitting down as well and unhooking my broken mask from my belt beneath the yellow rain poncho. I traced my fingers along the broken spots. 

I wasn't sure if I was fond of the way you were able to read me so easily. 

"Well... I'm a Two. I feel that weight too now. Maybe not as much... but I feel it too. I want to help you, I want to back you up, but most of all, I want you to know that you don't have to shoulder the weight of the world on your own. Even if you're a One, it would be unfair to expect yourself to solve all the problems of the world."

This time I furrowed my eyebrows. I honestly wasn't sure what you were trying to say. Of course, I could solve all the problems of the world. I was THE one! It would be unfair for me NOT to solve all the problems. What good would my potential be if I didn't use it to fix everything?

"I'm not saying that you can't do it. I'm just saying that you shouldn't have to do it alone, I guess," you corrected as if you could read my mind. "And... you don't HAVE to do everything. You don't have to be the hero you think everyone expects you to be. We'll all support you in your journey... but it's okay to give up. It's okay to just be a kid."

"I'm not giving up," I spat quickly.

"I didn't say you were. I'm just saying it's okay. You don't owe the world anything. Don't let this heroic journey you're set on eat you alive."

I paused a moment, then nodded. You and I waited for a few more moments, then you stood up, stretching your arms and yawning.

"I'm gonna go back and get a little more sleep. I won't force you to come back with me, though. I'm sure you can handle yourself if anything comes up. I trust you."

I blinked a few times as you took a few steps away, then turned back, looking at me with your deep blue eyes that reminded me of a midsummer sky I've only seen in my dreams.

"Oh, and by the way... it wasn't your fault."

You then turned and walked off, disappearing behind a corner before I could ask what you were referring to.

But we both knew.

As you walked back, you noticed that the moonlight was no longer following you. You hardly noticed it before, but now that it was gone, something seemed missing. 

Maybe you were looking into it a little too much, but you wondered why the moonlight always seemed to follow me around.

Meanwhile, I sat there alone with your words repeating in my mind over and over again.

It's not your fault

It's not your fault

Had you heard what I was telling Ben? Or did you just somehow know about the war going on within myself?

I gently traced my fingers over my mask, looking down at it and letting out a sigh.

"It's not my fault," I whispered. "None of this.... none of this is my fault."

It felt nice to say it out loud. It almost felt as if a weight was being lifted off my shoulders. I wasn't just talking about Blumiere letting me go either. I was talking about all the flaws of the world. I used to feel somewhat responsible because I was a One, but it was just like you said! None of this was my fault. I never asked for any of this.

"We're not responsible," I told my mask, softly smiling.

I took a deep breath, then stood up, hooked my mask back to my belt, moved to the nearest undercover area to hide from the rain, and pulled out my slightly soggy notepad. The letters I was writing to Blumiere were all crumpled and soggy in my other pocket, but I didn't mind. They could completely dissolve for all I cared. The only letter that mattered was the one I was about to write.

I sat down and clicked my pen so the tip was out, then tore another page of my small notebook off so I could write. Then, after a moment of consideration, I pressed the ink to the paper. The pen was smooth, allowing me to write what I needed to say quickly and neatly, with only very few smears.

Blumiere,

It's your fault.

I won't be paying any more mind to you. I won't allow you to hurt me any longer.

Wherever you are, I hope you're suffering the way I've suffered these past few months.

-One.

It was short and sour, but I didn't see the need to add anything more to the note. I didn't even feel guilty about the harshness of the words. I only felt proud. Proud of finally being able to come to terms with how I felt. I carefully folded the paper and put it in the front pocket of my pants, away from all the other letters.

Then, I walked back to our temporary hideaway, finding the rest of our group sound asleep. Softly smiling to myself, I hooked the pen to the corner of my notepad and placed it next to Ben's sleeping form.

That way, he'd have a way to speak.