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EIRA

"You shouldn't even be talking about him and here you are, asking Allah for him?!" My mother accused me.

The one time she decides to talk to me and she has this to say.

"Zara Sharam nahin rahi tum main Eira. (You aren't even ashamed anymore) I can't believe you are turning like this. I raised you better than this!" She yelled again.

I wiped away my tears and stood up from the prayer mat.

I folded the mat and sat on the bed.

"You guys don't talk to me and now that I am talking to Allah, you have a problem with that too. Ammi? (Mother)?" I said softly sniffing. I didn't have the power in me to yell at her.

"Yes. You can talk to Allah. But Allah doesn't appreciate these sort of wishes." She responded.

"You don't know what Allah appreciates mom. Nobody does." I replied.

It had been a week ever since I had been caught, my semester had ended and therefore we had a break, so I wasn't allowed to leave my home..

I felt like a criminal in jail.

"Eira! Bas! (Stop)" My mother firmly said.

That was it for me.

"What do you want mom? I can't go anywhere. I don't have my phone. I can't go with ny friends. I'm trapped here and now I can't even pray in peace? I made a mistake in your eyes. I get it and I'm so sorry about it. But can you people stop hurting me!" I kept rambling.

"Nobody understands me and that is okay. But at least talk to me. At least let me go out. I'm not stupid. I just want to be free mom. For ten minutes even. But I do. Just please." I begged and I could feel her eyes soften.

Good Eira. Soften her a bit more. Shed tears.

I started crying. Thank God for drama classes in high school.

"I'm sorry mom. But I-i can't live like a prisoner." I sniffed again.

"Don't you love me anymore ammi? I thought you and I didn't have to communicate through words. I thought you understood me mum." I said and tears pooled in her eyes.

"It wasn't in my control to love him. It just happened mom. But I still am sorry. Can't you see that? Can't you see me hurting mama?" I questioned and this time every tear was real.

"Can't you see me crying? Can't you feel my pain?" I whispered.

Mothers are the most emotional and the most innocent creatures on earth. I wasn't angry at mom for exposing me in front of my brothers, but I certainly was sad that she had preferred telling my brothers instead of talking to me.

But I knew she loved me and would do anything to see me happy. I knew she would let me go out, if that gave me any peace..and I had the right words to convince her.

"Kaash abbu zinda hote," I said.

And I knew I had hit home.

My mother rushed towards me embracing me in a way that made me cling to her.

"Oh Eeya." She said calling me by my nickname as she caressed my hair.

Her habit of running a hand through my black hair was always comforting.

After about a minute of crying, I pulled away and then looked at her through pleading eyes.

She took my hand and led me towards the bed. She sat down on the foamy mattress and then put my head on her lap.

"Please don't make me forget him." I said again.

"One day you're going to get married to a man and you'll forget it all. I promise." She replied like a robot still caressing my hair.

"But I wouldn't love him." I answered back.

"Because I love someone else.." I reminded her and she sighed.

"I know that you think you love him or whatever but you don't.." She softly told me as if I was a child.

"Mum, I do love him and I know you guys think it's extremely wrong of me but it is what it is."

"You still don't regret it. Do you? It's all a drama, isn't it?" She said in a harsh tone and I took a deep breath.

"I regret hurting you." I told her the truth and she bent down softly kissing me on my forehead.

"I can't compete with your brother on this. I can't fight with him for you, I always have fought for you but this..." She said as it reading my mind.

"You can mum..but you won't." I said and stood up wiping away a few tears that had made their way in my eyes.

"Because for you, for everyone this society and it's traditions are more important than my happiness." I told her but she shook her head, telling me that wasn't the case.

I knew it was. Not everyone could be like Virat and not care about the society.

"And that's alright. It's okay, I understand. I just want one simple thing from you." I held her hand as I bent down on my knees and looked at her.

"I want peace. I want to be alone for some time, I don't care where I go, I just need to get out of this place. I want to be free. Please.." I pleaded.

"I-" My mom stuttered.

"I'll not ask for anything mom. But please, Give me this.." I begged her.

I just needed to see my friends, All I could do this week, all that had kept me alive was talking to Reem. I didn't know what I would do later on...but I just had to get out of here.

Farhan bhai hadn't been home after that one day, he lived in a hotel instead. I knew it was because he didn't want to think about anything other than cricket but it still hurt. I needed my brother.

I looked at my mom with pleading eyes.

"Please, ammi.." I sniffed again and she finally nodded.

"I don't know when bhai will allow me to go out, I need to breathe. I feel like I can't breathe here.." I pleaded.

"-i can't, I don-" She hesitated making me sigh.

"Mom, abbu ki kasam hai aap ko." I cried.

She looked me in the eyes and finally nodded.

"Alright.." She inhaled a breath and nodded again.

When I was about to leave the room, I heard the door open and saw Farhan standing in front of me, but that didn't shock me.

What shocked me was the fact that he wasn't alone.

"Farhan, Asher? What are you doing here?" Mother asked, perplexed.

Farhan smiled at mom and came forward along with Asher bhai and Khirad aapi. The whole family was here.

"We're here to talk, we all are." Farhan stated and then walked forward towards me.

"Oh.."

"Bhai.." He hugged me by my shoulders and I did the same, putting my arm around him, trying to draw comfort.

"How are you?" He asked, in a hushed whisper.

"Want me to lie?" I shot back, smug and sad at the same time. Farhan sighed and looked at me.

"Come, sit beside me. Bhai, Aapi betho." We all sat, Farhan, mother and I were on the bed. My sister was on the chair adjacent to the dressing table while Asher bhai sat on the couch.

"Tu theek hai?" Farhan bhai asked me again, his voice extremely low.

It was on a personal level now, no one could hear us. I shook my head.

"No, no one talked to me after you left. One week and literally no one talked to me." I said, frustrated. My chin wobbled one more time and tears appeared in my eyes. They just wouldn't leave.

"That was your punishment." He mumbled again. I knew he wasn't completely ready to forgive me that day so maybe that's why he didn't visit the entire week.

"But I suffered enough already..bhai." I told him.

"I know, that's why I brought them all here," Farhan told me with a small smile.

I couldn't return it back.

"Why? The last time Asher bhai saw me, he said that I wasn't his sister."

"They're going back on tonight, only mum's gonna stay-" He informed me and I knew that.

Mom and I were going to stay in Dubai untill I completed my studies.
Not in my sister's house but at the apartment that Farhan bhai owned here.

"I know, because they can't trust me anymore."

Farhan shrugged his shoulders and then looked at everyone.

"Okay, anyway..I am here to say that no matter what happened, no matter who was at mistake, we are all a family. We don't neglect the one that abbu specifically asked us to take care of." And here he was, defending me again.

Protecting me against the world, trying to make me feel better. Family was the most important thing for all of us, and nobody could ever change that. Farhan looked at my elder brother and sighed.

"Bhai, we don't hit Eira, we promised that. Infact, Eira has been my responsibility from the start, you had ammi and Khirad. So whatever she has done, I am equally responsible for it." Farhan said, taking responsibility for me yet again.

It was true though, he was the one that had done everything for me..every single thing, from my shopping trips to my late night assignments, he would always help me. And even though we bickered alot, he stood by me..always.

"Farhan; can you stop defending her? She lied to us for God's sake?" Khirad aapi said, rudely and loudly.

It shocked me, she was my sister. Yes we weren't as close to each other but we loved each other. Why was she being like this?

"Khirad aapi, you had an affair with Hamza for years before he had the courage to come ask for marriage, you named it as an arranged marriage. You lied to us all as well no?" Farhan bhai shot back, equally as rudely.

"Farhan!" Both Asher and Khirad said at the same time.

Mom was quiet, she knew it wasn't the time for her to speak.

"What? Haan? I spent a week away to give you all time, and a week for Eira to suffer too, I didn't call her once. But enough is enough now." He loudly declared and stood up. I stood up too.

"So what do you want us to do? Forgive her and act like nothing happened?" Asher bhai asked, cocking an eye brow.

"Yes. Let it go, and let her live. In fact I have a few plans for her, so let's all hug it out and you guys can go back to Pakistan in peace. No grudges." He stated.

"Do it for me bhai, for Abbu. He wouldn't want you to be so mad at his only daughter." He said again and Asher bhai's eyes softened..just a little.

Asher bhai grumbled again but Farhan chuckled at him.

"Come on, stop grumbling. Eira, go to Asher bhai." I went towards my brother, and before he could push me away, I hugged him.

"Bhai, I'm sorry-" I whispered.

Slowly and gradually he hugged me back.

And at that moment, I knew that even though they still hadn't forgiven me completely, I had created a soft corner again, and that was okay.

Now all I had to do was go out and get some peace myself, what I didn't know was I was going to see him again.

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