Recap:

               Entering, Harry and I walked in, my dad and some nurses leaving us alone after telling us to click the red button on her remote by the bed for emergencies. I sat on the edge of the bed, seeing a pale, weak Chrissy. She didn’t look happy or joyful like she normally did. She had purple circles under her eyes and her brown eyes looked like the life had been sucked out of them.

                 Like she lost all hope in life.

               Harry approached her and her eyes didn’t light up like the other times, she didn’t smile. She watched Harry, transfixed, before Harry held open his arms and lifted Chrissy onto his lap on the bed where she broke down sobbing.

              “It hurt so much, daddy.” She sobbed, making my tears reappear. Harry kissed her forehead as I saw a single tear roll down his cheek again.

               “It’s okay now.” I lied, my voice shaky. Chrissy’s head looked out from above Harry’s arms.

            “No it isn’t. I know it.” She said sadly. I looked at Harry, who looked surprised, but kind of horrified that an eight year old didn’t have hope, that she knew it was the end of such a short life.

            “I love you, Chrissy.”I whispered, joining the two’s hug. Harry wrapped an arm around Chrissy and another around me, me doing the same, except wrapping an arm around Harry. Chrissy wrapped both arms around us and buried her head in between ours.

                 “I love you too, mommy and daddy.” She hiccupped.

                  “I love you too, Chrissy.” Harry whispered, squeezing us all tighter.

                                            ---------------------------------------------------------

                            It's been a month since Chrissy's been in the hospital. There have been some scares, which ended up with me at the hospital, crying.

                                Harry and the lads all been at the recording studio, recording for their new album, then they go on a big tour in America. They were filming music videos and doing interviews, album shoots and all the advertising. I haven't had much time to talk to any of them, especially Harry. Well, I guess I have time, but I learned that they didn't.

                                  I haven't felt as lonely as I do now in a long time. My best friend from childhood was coming over from France soon to visit family, so I hope he'll make time to visit me.

                                 I haven't forgotten about uploading videos, in fact I just finished uploading one. I did a cover of Home by Phillips Phillips. It kind of fit for Chrissy.

                              It was Sunday, time for my family dinner tonight. I knocked on the door, forcing a smile when my mother opened the door and squeezed me tight in her arms.

                                "Hey Mummy." I said, kissing her cheek.

                              "Charlie, get your butt down here! Eliza's home!" Renee, my mother hollered inside the house behind her.

                            "Coming!" I heard my dad reply from somewhere inside the house. She wrapped an arm around my waist and led me into the living room before sitting down on the couch, me taking a seat across from her on a plush chair.

                                 "Where's Harry, Darling?"

                          "Just because you ask every time since that Sunday, doesn't change my answer mum, he's busy. We haven't been talking much."

                                Her eyes squinted a little as she titled her head to the side, studying me. I love my mum, I really do, but it was getting on my nerves.

                              "Are you coming here for Christmas dinner?" My mother asked and I nodded.

                             "Is Aunt Trisha coming?" I asked.

                            "Yes, also, the rest of her family, Uncle Joe, Carly and Devin. Don't forget Ronnie and his family coming." I smiled at the thought of my dad's sister and her family coming, especially my cousins. I haven't seen them in while. Ronnie is my childhood friend, which she confirmed that I will see in a couple weeks.

                     "Guess I need to do some Christmas shopping soon, right?" I joked, my mom's laughter filling the room as she nodded.

                              "Hey sweetie." My dad grinned as he walked swiftly to me and gave me a hug.

                              "Hey dad, had a tough day at work?"

                               He glanced over at my mum before looking at me, hesitantly answering, "Yes."

                               I looked suspisuously at my parents, "What's going on?"

                               My dad sighed and my mum stood up, "Charlie, Eliza, I'll set the table."

                             My dad watched her leave as my eyes were locked tight on my dad. "Spit it out dad. What are you hiding? I can take it."

                             His eyes wandered back to me, "I'm afraid you won't be able to take this one."

                              I furrowed my eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

                             He sighed, running his hand through his slightly gray hair, "Turns out the hospital's prediction was right.

                             I raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

                            "Christina has passed on. She's in a better place now."

                         My heart constricted and my lungs rejected air. The world stopped, before teetering and spinning. "It can't be." I choked out, tears running down my cheeks.

                           "I'm sorry, darling."

                           I jumped out of my seat, I can't believe this, I won't. "No! You're lying, dad! Chrissy's alive! She's sitting in her hospital bed waiting for me to finish reading 'A Charlotte's Web' to her! Tell me this is a joke!"

                         He shook his head and I scoffed, hysterical. I turned around and ran out the door, grabbing my coat along the way.

                            "Eliza!"

                         "Leave me alone, Dad!" I screamed before slamming the car door shut behind me and driving off, tears clouding my vision as I fought to not crash.

                             TWO WEEKS LATER......................

                         Life was over as I know it. There's nothing to live for. She was my life it felt like, the one person holding me to sanity in this big, crazy world. The only person that convinced me to start posting singing videos, to try and achieve it my dream.

                                I was at my flat, my eyes bloodshot and red with purple bags underneath, as I decided to log on twitter. I sat at my wooden desk, my laptop on top, tissues surrounding me.

                                 I laughed bitterly, I don't know who I am any more. I'm insane, stupid, crazy. Why am I even alive if Chrissy isn't allowed to? She's only eight!

                              Eight!

                            My fingers tapped on the keyboard, tweeting something about doing a TwitCam and for all my followers to check it out. I didn't care if I looked horrible, nothing mattered anymore.

                            I started the  TwitCam and saw I had almost 100 viewing, it rapidly increasing.

                            "Hey guys, I know I look horrible, I feel horrible. This past couple weeks, has been one of the worst ever. I just feel like nothing, like a nobody. Like my rock is gone." I sniffled and looked at the comments, seeing sympathy being displayed.

                            I heard my phone beep from a text message, but I ignored it, looking at the webcam. 

                           "Sometimes I wonder why I'm on this planet. I thought it was for this person....but that person's gone now. If she's gone, why am I still here?"

                        I halted as my phone started to beep rapidly, signaling a major income of texts. i grabbed my phone and turned it off, not bothering to look at the texts.

                             Frustrated and depressed, I looked back at the screen, "Sorry about my phone."

                       I trailed off and looked into space, staring silently, "Would you guys care if I suddenly disappeared, was gone? My parents would, but would that be all? I wonder what have I achieved that is worthy of living. I haven't served for our country, I haven't exactly saved millions of lives."

                           I sighed, "It's all too tough for me, life. Why did God put me in this world? To feel pain?"

                              I read a comment and a ghost of a smile appeared on my lips, "Someone said that  you don't only feel pain, what about all the good things, all the love and happiness I have felt that overpowers pain?"

                               "Right now, all I feel is pain. Why her? Why not me?" I shrugged and looked off in the distance before looking back at the camera. "I love you guys."

                               I turned off the camera before walking to my bathroom, I felt like I cried all my tears. Like I have none left. I wasn't sane anymore. Nothing I did really processed through my brin, like someone else was doing it and I'm trapped in that person's body.

                            My fingers trailed to the mirror and I pulled it open, grabbing out the many medicine bottles. I crawled into the empty tub, empty like my heart. I screwed opened a medicine bottle, opening my mouth and dumping the whole thing in it. I swallowed, choking mostly. I turned on the tap in the bath, swallowing gulps of water to help me keep it down. I was soaked, surrounded by water and floating medicine bottles. I closed the plug, letting the water fill the tub.

                                I'm all alone.

                               She's gone. Nothing's worth it if she can't be here with me.

                              I layed down under the water, holding my breath, not daring to go above the water. The past two weeks flashed in my mind, the time I was with Chrissy.

                           Then my thoughts ventured to all the suicide talks I had in school. My life is important and very valuable. Lots of people would feel my loss, possibly like how I have felt since Chrissy died and I don't want to wish that upon anyone.

                             On that thought, my head flew out of the bathtub water as I started to gasp violently, trying to receive air. My hair was in wet strings, my clothes sticking against my body while other parts floated in the clear water. After a couple minutes, my chest heaving, I rested my head on the back of tub, closing my eyes. At the exact moment, someone swung open the bathroom door with so much force that it rebounded and slammed closed again. I jumped, the water splashing as my eyes flew wide open.

                             Harry was standing in the reopened doorway. His eyes wide as he took in the scene around me. His curls were messy, like he ran his hands through them multiple times. His skinny jeans were laying low on his hips, no shoes, only bare-feet and a wrinkled navy shirt.

                       He shook his head and I watched him, tired as I saw him walk towards me and kneel beside the bathtub.

                           His voice was a low whisper of disappointment, sadness, "Oh, Eliza, what have you done?"  His voice sounded distorted, my sight confusing me, there was two Harry's.

                          "Chrissy...." I mumbled, my brain feeling fumbling. I grasped my head in my hands. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me out of the tub, not caring that he was getting wet because of me.

                             "Chrissy what?" The room started swirling, I closed my eyes tight, trying to clear my vision. I tried to remember what I was going to say. He walked out of the bathroom and into the living room, the darker tones showing and the bright bathroom light and tiles left behind.

                            "She's gone." I mumbled, feeling sick, a cold shiver running up from my toes to my head. My vision was fading, dark spots filling my eyesight.

                        "Gone?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowed. He probably knew what I was talking about, had a sneaking suspicion. I lowered my voice in a painful whisper, feeling like a yell in my head.

                           "Dead, Curly. She's dead."

                   I felt Harry drop me and the pain of landing on the floor before all my senses disappeared and I was pulled into a wave of peaceful darkness.