The event on my mind
Was a while ago
But now it bores
Into my mind
And I hate myself
All the more.

I'm not enough
For anyone
Not even the one
Who says he loves me.

But I can't fix that now.
I'm just a disaster.
I'm useless.
A screw-up.
Hopelessly depressed.

Maybe one day,
Far from now
I will finally find someone
That will love me
As much as I love
Anyone else.

My heart is too big
But I cannot
Seem to keep
Anyone happy
For to long.

For the first one
I just couldn't commit
And to another
I did drift.
I hurt him so
And ruined what we had.
I am a terrible person,
The decision was bad.

For the second
Too much did I push.
Too early did I love
And too much did I commit.
I loved him
With all I was
And I thought
The he loved me
All the same.
But instead I pushed
Him far away
And he left
And will not speak
To me this day.

Then is the third...
Such a ride...
Started as friends
When we were young.
He loved me before,
Before number one.
When I finally
Loved him as well
He wanted another
And her he did tell.
But she did not want
Him in the least.
So I asked again
And he became mine.
Our love was odd,
Was slow, and cute,
But then another
He did want.
I let him have her
As well as me.
But it hurt,
Much more than I thought.
I wasn't enough.
After her there were two more
That he wanted
To fill in the spaces,
Two more that I hated.
But I agreed because I love him
And now I hurt,
More than ever before.

Maybe love
Just isn't for me.
Maybe I am destined
To live alone
My only goal
To promote the happiness
Of all others.

I cannot take
Anymore betrayal.
I simply wish
For someone to whom
I can entrust my heart
And know they will not
Shatter it as before.

Betrayal.
Even the word
Burns in my mind.
I talk with the third.
He says the fault is mine.
I broke my promise.
I ruined the love.
Apparently the betrayal
Was because of me.
If I had just been enough,
He would be happy.

But no.
I am a problem,
A blight,
A bother,
And I deserve
To burn and die.

Cora Theresa