Chapter 26

"She died of 18 stab wounds using a crowbar and was strangled with a belt that the victim wore when she arrived in this apartment."

Para akong nabingi sa sinabi sa akin ng police. She glanced at the paper before she lifted her gaze on me.

"We've found no fingerprints or footprints in the area, despite the thorough search. It's safe to assume that the suspect wore gloves when he committed the crime."

"18 stabs wounds?" nanghihina kong sinulyapan ang police. Gusto mang tumulo ng mga luha ko ay hindi ko magawa. I felt entirely numb.

"We're looking at the angle of passion of crime." Seryoso akong tinitigan ng police. "May kilala ka ba o pinaghihinalaang puwedeng gumawa nito sa nanay mo?"

My heart sank deeper in my chest. It felt as if my throat had closed and someone is squeezing my chest. Suddenly, I found it hard to breathe.

"He slaughtered my mother." My lips went into a thin line. Nakatitig ako sa kawalan.

"He?"

I weakly glanced at the police. Tapos ay naramdaman ko na ang kamay ni Alas na humawak sa akin.

"Any lead suspects?" tanong ni Alas sa police.

Umiling siya. "Sa ngayon ay wala pa, Mr. Ferrer. But my team is doing their best to track the suspect. Ini-interview na din namin ang kapitbahay kung may nakita ba silang kahina-hinala kaninang umaga."

Tulala akong napatitig sa kawalan. Alas turned to me, his eyes full of worry.

"Belle...?"

"I know this is very hard for you, Mrs. Ferrer. But if you ever have someone in your mind, or anything that you could tell us to track the suspect, that'd be a great help."

Hindi ko maibukas ang bibig ko. Basta nalang tumulo ang mga luha ko. Tears streamed down my face and my lungs burned. I clenched my first as intense anger took over my body for the first time. The shock of losing my mother and knowing how she was killed blinded me. I suddenly exploded.

"18 fucking stab wounds? Are you kidding me!"

"Belle..." Alas held me my waist in an attempt to calm me down, pero mas lalo lang akong nagwala sa loob ng presinto.

"Who would stab a person who's already dead? Or did he made sure that my mother is dead before he left? And what did you say about that fucking belt! Bakit siya sinakal!"

"Mrs. Ferrer, please calm down—"

"No!" I screamed so loud it draw the attention of other officers in the area. "Don't you dare tell me to fucking calm down! My mother was brutally killed! Why would you tell me to calm down!"

My shoulders broke into loud sobs. Biglang pagod na pagod na ako sa matinding kakasigaw at malakas na hagulhol. Kumapit ako sa malalakas na kamay ni Alas. I cried and cursed and cried and cursed again. Lahat na yata ng pagmumura ay lumabas sa bibig ko. Para akong mababaliw sa sobrang sakit na nararamdaman.

"Belle..." Alas pleaded.

"Why? Why!"

"Sir, ang mabuti pa po ay iuwi niyo muna ang asawa niyo hanggang sa kumalma siya." Kalmadong wika ng babaeng police sa asawa ko.

Alas nodded his head and lifted me up. Malakas pa rin ang iyak ko at hindi tumitigil sa pag-agos ang mga luha ko.

There was my mother, from Pangasinan and on her way to her grandchild's birthday party. And then suddenly, the suspect attacked her with a crowbar and stabbed her 18 times! And to make sure that she's really dead, he even strangled her with a belt that she wore. There were no signs of struggles or any attempt to fight. So it's safe to assume that the first blow of the suspect instantly hit my mother.

I cried some more. Hindi ako makapaniwala na nangyayari ito sa akin. May kaluluwa pa ba ang taong gumawa nito sa nanay ko? Her death would've been less painful if she was shot once. Pero bakit ganun nalang binaboy ang pagkakapatay sa nanay ko?

Hindi ako tumigil sa kakaiyak. Alas carried me to his car and placed me in the front seat.

"Baby..." he said, his voice broken. I shoved my face in my palms. Naramdaman ko ang mahigpit na yakap ni Alas sa akin. "Ssh..."

"She didn't deserve to die..." I sobbed hysterically. "She didn't—Oh God. She didn't deserve to die, Alas. All s-she did was protect me..."

"Belle..."

I clenched his shirt and sobbed harder. Tuloy-tuloy ang pag-agos ng mga luha ko. My shoulders rise up and down as more tears escaped from my eyes. Nangingitim na rin ang paningin ko at sobrang nanghihina ang katawan.

He held me for a very long time. Nakatulog nalang ako sa sobrang pagod at kakaiyak.

When I woke up, my entire body aches. For a moment, I thought everything was just a bad dream. nanunuyo ang lalamunan ko at hirap akong igalaw ang buong katawan ko.

Pinilit ko ang sarili kong bumangon. I could hear voices murmuring outside. With all my remaining strength, I padded towards the door and opened it slowly.

Three heads snapped to my direction. Alas and the two other policemen. Seryoso silang nag-uusap sa sala. Tahimik na ang buong bahay.

Kaagad na tumayo si Alas at inalalayan ako. I eyed the two policemen who stared back at me with sympathy in their eyes.

"Nandito po sana kami para kunin ang statement niyo, Ma'am." Wika ng isa sa kanila. "Ako po si SPO1 Marco Agoncillo."

I ignored him and sat down with Alas. Hindi na ako nagpaligoy-ligoy pa.

"Wala pa ba kayong nakukuhang kahit ano?"

"Kagaya nga ng sinabi ni SPO2 Corpuz sa iyo noong nakaraan, mukhang pinagplanuhan nga ang krimeng ito. We tried to retrieve the CCTV, Ma'am, but found out that it had been disconnected the night before the crime happened. Alam ng suspek kung anong araw darating ang mommy mo mula sa Pangasinan at nag-aabang ito sa kaniya."

Muli'y umusbong ang galit sa dibdib ko. But unlike the last time, I managed to remain calm. Alas held my hand tightly, then turned towards the police.

"How about the neighbor's statement?"

"Na-interview na po namin sila, pati ang mga nakatira malapit sa apartment. Wala daw po silang nakitang kahina-hinala noong nakaraang mga araw at sa araw na nangyari ang krimen. Wala din pong bakas ng kung ano noong hinalughog na namin ang kaniyang apartment. If our hunch is right, the suspect stayed overnight in the house to conceal himself or herself, attacked the victim, and escaped using the back window."

Binalingan ako ni Alas.

"Kailan po ba kayo huling nakausap ng mommy niyo, Ma'am?"

"Madaling araw nung araw na iyon," wika ko. "She said that she's already in Davao and on her way here, to Governor Generoso."

"Ayon po sa statement ni Mr. Ferrer, papunta po ang mommy ninyo dito sa bahay, para sa birthday ng apo niyo, tama ba?"

I nodded my head.

"Natagpuan po namin ang nakabalot na box sa sahig, Ma'am. Ang hula po nami'y para sana iyon sa apo ninyo."

My heart ached more.

"May ideya po ba kayo kung bakit hindi nalang dumiretso dito ang mommy ninyo at nagpunta pa sa apartment?"

I shook my head miserably. "I... I don't know. I'll just assume that she wanted to change but..." I trailed off. "Nagmamadali siya para maabutan pa ang birthday ni Zeus. That's impossible."

Tumango ang police sa sinabi ko at may isinulat sa kaniyang notepad. Alas breathed heavily. Ramdam ko pa rin ang matigas at magaspang niyang mga kamay na nakabalot sa akin.

"Ipinadala na po sa morgue ang katawan ng nanay niyo. Kung gusto niyo pong makuha ang official copy sa autopsy ay puwede po kayong magpunta sa presinto."

Pagod akong tumango sa sinabi niya.

"Ipagpapatuloy po namin ang imbestigasyon at babalitaan po kaagad kung mayroon man kaming lead sa suspek."

"Thank you, officer." Alas told them.

Wala akong imik hanggang sa makalabas sila ng bahay. Maraming tumatakbo sa isipan ko at ni isa ay wala akong maisa-boses. I just knew that my heart is aching so bad and if I'm not going to do something about it, I'm going to wallow in great pain again.

"Belle...?"

I weakly lifted my gaze to Alas. He looked stressed out too. My husband gently sat next to me and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm here, baby. Hinding-hindi kita iiwan." He murmured to my hair.

Sa sinabi niya'y napaluha ulit ako. Napapagod na akong umiyak simula kahapon pero wala ata itong katapusan. I sobbed to his chest and let his colossal body secure me. Niyakap ko siya pabalik at mas lalo pang umiyak.

"Ma'am, bilin po kasi ni Sir na dapat kumain kayo eh..." malungkot at medyo takot ang boses na sabi ni Ella sa akin.

"Wala akong gana, Ella." Sagot ko sa namamalat na boses.

"Kahit kaunti lang po, Ma'am. Baka magalit ulit yun si Sir."

Walang kibo akong naupo sa tapat ng lamesa. Zeus stared at me and I could see it in his eyes that he's afraid of me. Mas lalo pang kumirot ang puso ko. Wala akong magawa. Kahit sarili kong anak ay hindi ko na ngayon maalagaan nang husto dahil sa nangyari.

"Mummy..." he said slowly. Pagod akong nag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya. I wanted to fake a smile for my little boy but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Umalis si Zeus sa kaniyang upuan at nag-aalangan akong nilapitan.

Bumagsak ang tingin ko sa Mufasa plush toy na hawak niya. He hesitantly gave it to me.

"You told me that whenever I'm sad, I just have to hug Mufasa. Maybe you could hug him, too?"

Nangilid ang luha ko habang nakatitig sa inosente kong anak. Instead of hugging the Mufasa that he is trying to give me, I hugged him instead. I broke out crying again and the confused Zeus didn't know what to do. Mahigpit ko siyang niyakap habang tuloy-tuloy ang agos ng mga luha ko.

Ella stared at us silently, nag-aalangan kung ilalagay na ba niya ang pagkain sa lamesa.

It has been a week. A week since the crime happened and I have merciless nightmares ever since. I keep on seeing my mother, being attacked by a crowbar as she helplessly cried for help and beg for her life.

The nightmares exhausted me to no end. Hapon na akong nagigising dahil sa nangyari. Wala akong gana sa buhay at ayaw na ding bumangon sa kama. Alas patiently stayed by my side, and told me that everything is going to be okay in the end, even though I could no longer see a future without the memories of my mother being brutally killed constantly haunting me.

"Sir..."

Pinilit ko ang sariling kumalma nang makarinig ako ng mabibigat na mga yapak. I wiped the tears from my eyes and Zeus looked teary-eyed too. He reached for my cheeks and gently wiped the tears away. I kissed him on the forehead before I pulled myself up to greet my husband.

"Ano daw ang balita?"

Bigong iniling ni Alas ang kaniyang ulo. Tahimik na nakasunod sa kaniya sa likod si Krista at Julius, both of them looking sorrowful. My red eyes and nose told them I've been crying since earlier kaya pareho silang nag-iiwas ng tingin.

"Nakausap ko na kanina ang mga police. Wala pa rin silang lead sa kung sino ang may gawa ng krimen, Belle."

I licked my lower lips and nodded my head understandingly. It's okay. Makikita din nila ang suspek. Naniniwala ako sa kanila. They promised me.

"And... uh... the police said that you should think about cremating the remains of your mother because..." he trailed off.

Ipinikit ko nang mariin ang mga mata ko. Alam ko na ang ibig niyang sabihin. Her body is badly destroyed that they would rather burn her remains instead of having her inside a coffin where everyone could see how she died ruthlessly.

"Okay. Ako na ang kakausap sa kanila."

"Have you eaten lunch yet?"

Tumikhim si Ella sa likod, dahilan upang mapatingin si Alas sa kaniya at sa mga pagkain sa hapag.

Alas held my waist. "Come on, let's eat something. Para naman magkalaman ang tiyan mo."

Pagod akong sumunod sa kaniya sa lamesa. Julius, Krista, and Ella joined us for lunch but it was an unbearable and painful silence. Ang tanging naririnig lang ay ang mahinang paglapat ng mga kutsara't tinidor sa babasaging plato.

Tears welled in my eyes again. I couldn't even remember the last time I shared a meal with my mother! She was killed all of a sudden, without giving me a chance to bond with her properly. The nagging feeling of extreme betrayal is slowly eating up my chest.

"It's okay, Belle. I understand. And I'm really sorry for what happened to you. Huwag kang mag-alala, ako na ang bahala upang hindi ito pagpyestahan ng media hangga't sa hindi pa natatapos ang pagresolba sa kaso." Ani Ma'am Patricia, isang umaga nang tinawagan ko siya sa telepono.

I cleared my throat. "Thank you, Ms. Pat..."

"Be strong, Belle." She said before ending the call. I placed the telephone back and looked around the empty house.

Every passing day that the police reports nothing to us makes me more anxious. And it's not just me but the entire neighborhood as well, knowing that there's a psycho killer on the loose.

Mahigpit akong pinapabantayan ng mga tauhan ni Alas. He hired bodyguards, aside from the police officers that was sent to man our house from that day onwards. Natatakot sila na kung sino man ang suspek, baka ako naman ang susunod nitong punteryahin.

"Belle..."

Sinalubong ko si Alas na kalalabas pa lamang sa kaniyang sasakyan. Hindi na ako nag-abalang mag-ayos pa kahit na putlang-putla ako kanina pagkagising ko.

"Any news, Alas?"

"May nakita na po kaming witness at ayon sa kaniya, may lalaki daw siyang namataan malapit sa apartment niyo, isang gabi bago nangyari ang krimen." Sagot ni SPO2 Corpuz para sa akin.

"But the witness is an old man with poor eyesight, Belle." Ani Alas. Tuluyan na niya akong nilapitan at hinawakan ang beywang upang ipirme ako. "We're not yet sure if his eyes are not playing tricks on him."

"Sa ngayon ay siya lang ang witness namin. We're growing desperate and we're going to include his statement for the investigation. Now we have confirmed that the suspect indeed, is a man."

Tumango ako sa sinabi niya.

"Belle? Namumutla ka? Ayos ka lang ba?" tanong ni Alas sa akin.

I licked my lower lips and weakly nodded my head at him.

"Do you want to rest...?"

"I'm growing restless, Alas." I snapped. "Nakakulong ako dito sa bahay at hindi man lang makatulong sa imbestigasyon. I don't think I want to rest."

He didn't flinch at my harsh words, as if he's really expecting me to explode any moment. Bigla tuloy akong na-guilty sa inakto.

"Well, you still need to rest. Nag-aalala ako sa kalagayan mo, Belle."

I heaved a long, resigned sigh. "Fine. At least let me prepare you guys some coffee..."

Tumango ang mga pulis at tuluyan nang pumasok sa bahay namin. I could hear Ella from Zeus' room, trying to divert the attention of my little boy from the crowd inside the house. Si Krista naman ay tahimik lang ding nakasunod sa kaniyang amo.

I went to the kitchen, feeling a little dizzy. Inignora ko iyon. I've slept for straight 15 hours and now I still feel so tired.

I opened the cupboards and reached for the jar of powdered coffee. Hilong-hilo na ako at nagdidilim ang paningin kaya humawak muna ako sa counter upang suportahan ang sarili. I took huge deep breaths. Naririnig ko ang mahinang usapan ni Alas at ng mga pulis sa sala.

With trembling hands, I reached for the small cups and placed it on the sink. I was on the middle of placing the third cup when my body suddenly jolted with extreme pain I couldn't fathom. Before I knew it, the sound of the cup breaking into pieces broke into the house and was followed by my body's thud.

I, once again, succumbed into the darkness. Hirap akong huminga at walang makitang kahit ano. But I could feel the cold temperature and could hear tiny whispers inside of my head. Bigla akong natakot.

Suddenly, the masked man with a crowbar emerged from the darkness. My throat went dry. He's casually walking towards me, playing with his crowbar, and then smirked evilly.

The man stopped right before me and raised his crowbar. A strangled scream escaped from my throat and finally, my eyes jolted open.

"Belle!"

Napalingon sa akin si Alas at ang isang babaeng hindi ko kilala, both of them were alarmed. Hingal na hingal akong napabangon mula sa kama, namamawis ang noo, dibdib, at mga palad. My eyes are widening in fear.

"Belle..."

Masuyo akong nilapitan ni Alas at niyakap. I sobbed again, my entire body trembling in fear. The man with the crowbar almost killed me in my sleep! Hindi ako mapakali sa naging panaginip ko. It was so vivid I thought it was real.

"Ssh..."

The unfamiliar woman stared at me. I noticed her white lab coat for the first time and assumed that she's a doctor. Pinilit kong kalmahin ang sarili at kumalas ako kay Alas.

"What happened...?"

"You fainted earlier." Alas replied. "I was so worried and I called a doctor to check up on you."

My entire body feels so weak. Humawak ako sa braso ni Alas at napabaling sa doktor nang bigla siyang magsalita.

"Mrs. Ferrer, sobrang maselan ang kondisyon mo ngayon. I understand that you are going through a deep emotional curb in your life right now but... you are pregnant and you need to take care of yourself from now on."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa kaniyang sinabi. I turned to Alas, asking for confirmation. He gently nodded his head.

"From now on, I will be the one to handle the investigation." He tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ears and kissed my forehead gently. "You need to rest as much as you can."

"Paanong...?"

"You're already eight weeks pregnant, Mrs. Ferrer." Patuloy ng doktor. "And if you keep on skipping meals or stressing yourself out, I'm afraid it would affect the baby's health negatively."

I swallowed hard. My hands unconsciously went to my stomach, knowing that a life is growing inside of me once again. Mabibigat ang paghinga ako.

"Matulog ka na ulit. I'll have them bring the food here," malambing na wika ni Alas. He tucked me into the bed gently and covered me with thick blanket.

Nagkatinginan ang doktor at si Alas. Hilong-hilo na naman ulit ako. My being a pregnant woman didn't cross my mind lately. Lalo na dahil sa nangyari sa nanay ko.

Alas and the doctor headed out of the room, but I could hear their murmured conversations. Napabuntong-hininga ako, nananakit nang bahagya ang likod.

I'm scared to close my eyes and see the man with the crowbar again. I curled in the bed and weep silently. I'm not sure if it's because of the hormones or the fact that everything's just so fucked up, but I couldn't stop crying at all.

Dalawang mahihinang katok ang nagpaigtad sa akin. Umingit ang pinto nang marahan itong buksan ng kung sino man.

"Ma'am, ito na po ang tanghalian niyo..."

The strong smell of tuna hit my nostrils and my stomach twisted. Everything I've ingested went up to my throat and before I knew it, I am vomiting like crazy on the bed!

"Ma'am!" natatarantang wika ni Ella. Dali-dali niyang inilapag ang tray sa maliit na round table at nilapitan ako.

"What happened?" Alas' baritone voice boomed in the room.

"Nagsusuka po si Ma'am, Sir..."

"The... Tuna.... Bring it... Bring it out..." naghihingalo kong wika.

"Ako na diyan, Ella. Ilabas mo nalang itong dinala mong pagkain." Kalmadong wika ni Alas. He approached me. Itinukod niya ang isang tuhod sa dulo ng kama at sinikop ang mahaba kong buhok. He soothed my back until I throw up almost everything.

I panted heavily. Hilong-hilo ulit ako. I have never felt this ill in my entire life. I am physical and mentally drained. Parang gusto kong maiyak ulit.

"Alas..." I hissed when his strong perfume hit my nostrils again. Scrunching my nose in disgust, I pushed him away.

Nagtataka akong tinitigan ni Alas. "Bakit?" ang gwapo nitong mukha ay nalukot.

"Your perfume!" medyo pagalit ko pang wika sa kaniya. "Stay away from me, goddamit!"

"Oh..." he smelled himself and tilted his head. Tinawag niya ulit si Ella at inutusang linisin ang kalat ko.

"I'll just take a quick shower then... to wipe out the smell..." anito sa akin.

Hindi ko siya pinansin. Krista approached me and wiped my face with a damp towel. Nanghihina kong ipinikit ulit ang mga mata ko at natulog na.