Chapter 15

"Pinapatawag ka ni Sir Patrick sa office niya," tinapik ako ng kasama ko, dahilan upang biglaan kong hubarin ang headphones na suot. Kumunot ang noo ko, hindi agad nakuha ang sinabi niya.

"Ang sabi ko, pinapatawag ka ni Sir Patrick." Pag-uulit niya.

"Ganun ba?" tuluyan ko nang inalis ang headphones at maingat itong inilapag. Nilubayan ko ng tingin ang computer na kanina ko pang umaga kaharap at tumayo. "Sige, salamat..."

Tumango si Ayesha at umalis na. I glanced at my converse sneakers. Ever since I started working here, puro jeans at kaswal na t-shirt lang ang suot ko. I stopped wearing skirt and blouse, at wala din namang dress code dito sa office.

Inayos ko muna ang sarili ko bago ako nagsimulang maglakad papunta sa office ni Sir. Walang tao sa corridor bukod sa akin. Rinig na rinig ko ang mahinang mga yapak ng aking converse sa marmol na sahig.

My mind drifted back to Alas. Sa tuwing naaalala ko ang galit niyang mukha at ang sinabi niya sa akin ay tumitindig lahat ng balahibo ko sa katawan. I swallowed and tried to erase his gorgeous face, sweaty and angry, screaming at my face inside of my head.

Hindi ko pa nakakausap si mommy tungkol sa sinabi ni Alas. Mahirap iyong paniwalaan. But I know that I still have to talk to her once she arrives from Hawaii or North Carolina or wherever it is by the end of this week.

Akmang kakatok na sana ako sa pinto ng opisina nang kusa nalang itong nagbukas. Bumungad sa akin ang galit at papahikbing mukha ni Ms. Patricia. Pulang-pula ang kaniyang mga mata na para bang malapit na itong maiyak. Her lips are trembling.

"Ana Patricia!" dagundong ng boses ni Sir Patrick sa loob pero hindi siya pinansin ng nobya. She stormed out of the room, her sharp heels stabbing the floor with each angry step she took until she's out of sight.

I swallowed. Nag-alinlangan tuloy akong pumasok sa opisina. Nanghihina akong kumatok. Nag-angat ng tingin sa akin si Sir Patrick, nanlilisik ang mga mata.

"Puwede po akong umalis kung—"

"No. Sit down." Aniya sa malamig na tinig.

I silently squirmed inside. Ayos na sa akin na sinisigawan niya ako. Hindi yung ganitong galit talaga siya. Kakagaling pa niya sa away ng girlfriend niya at kakausapin niya na kaagad ako?

Sauntering towards the cushion-padded chair in front of his desk, I groaned inwardly. I've had enough dealing with angry men these days. Ayoko nang madagdagan ito kay Sir Patrick.

"Is this true?" may iniabot siya sa aking diyaryo. Ito ang diyaryong itinapon ni Alas sa kaniyang opisina. I scanned the headlines again bitterly.

Umiling ako. "No, Sir."

"Then Jayden is lying...?" sinuri niya ang mukha ko.

Tumango ako. "Yes, Sir." I swallowed. "Hindi po siya ang ama ng anak ko. In fact, I am getting married... with the father of my child."

Mukhang nagulat si Sir Patrick sa sinabi ko. "You're getting married?"

I weakly nodded my head. Uminit ang mga pisngi ko. Just thinking about it made me feel uneasy.

"Well... you should talk to Jayden about this issue. Talent namin siya, Belle. Alam mo iyan. We can't have him getting tangled into series of issues that the media would feast. Halos hindi na nga siya nakakapag-perform sa kabi-kabilang inaatupag na issues..."

Marahan akong tumango.

"He's going to be here today for a photoshoot with the band. This is your chance to talk to him. I won't stick my nose to your personal affairs but the least you could do is separate your personal life from work. Nakakaapekto na ito sa trabaho mo."

I snorted. Parang kanina lang nagsisigawan kayo ng girlfriend mo sa loob ng opisina, ah?

"Yes, Sir..."

Iminuwestra niya ang pintuan, hudyat na tapos na ang pag-uusap namin. Tahimik akong lumabas at hinanap ang studio. If they're going to be here, they might be in the studio... or the dressing room?

Nakarinig ako ng halakhakan sa studio. I opened the door slightly and poked my head inside. Naroon nagtatawanan ang bassist ng banda na si Jason at and drummer na si Ariel. Wala ang kanilang guitarist at si Jayden.

"Hi..." nag-aalangan kong wika. "Is Jayden here?"

"Nasa dressing room—"

"Oh my God!" isang nakakabinging tili ang pumutol sa usapan naming dalawa. I flinched when I heard something broke and the sound of skin against the skin of someone being punched. Nanggaling iyon sa dressing room na kaagad kong tinakbo.

The blood from my face drained when I saw Alas' colossal body over Jayden. Isa pang suntok sa panga ay tuluyan na siyang tumilapon.

"Call the fucking security!" Ms. Patricia shrieked. Sa kabila ng galit at iritasyon sa kaniyang mga mata ay namataan ko ang matinding takot. Takot siyang lumapit at paghiwalayin sila. Nanigas lang siya sa kaniyang kinatatayuan.

"Alas!" ako ang lumapit sa kaniya pero agad ding napaatras. My knees wobbled when I saw his attractive face, hard and filled with anger. Nanlilisik ang kaniyang mga mata at mabilis ang paghinga.

He only glanced at me briefly then turned to Jayden. Itinulak niya ang lupaypay nitong katawan sa sahig.

"I didn't say a word when you stole my band away from me..." Mahinahon ngunit may diin na salitang wika ni Alas. He grabbed Jayden's collar. Nakapikit na ang kaniyang mga mata at dumadaing sa sakit. I could see the ugly purple bruise forming on his right jaw and the black eye on his left eye.

"But spreading fake fucking news and claiming my son yours... ibang usapan na ito, Jayden. If you don't take back your statement and admit to public that you are lying, hindi lang mukha mo ang sisirain ko kundi pati buong buhay mo!" gigil na sigaw sa kaniya ni Alas.

The make-up stylists vacated the area and shivered in fear. I took a deep breath. Nilakasan ko ang loob ko. He's like a wild beast! Pakiramdam ko, kapag walang umawat sa kaniya ngayon ay mapapatay niya si Jayden...

My heart pounded wildly inside of my chest.

"Alas..." I softly called. Unti-unti kong hinawakan ang kaniyang matigas na braso. He tensed before he turned to me. "Let go of him... please?" pagsusumamo ko.

A grim look crossed on his face. Titig na titig siya sa akin bago siya naiiritang suminghap. He let go of Jayden. His bandmates immediately responded to their injured mate.

Nakahawak pa rin ang kamay ko sa braso ni Alas. Masama pa rin ang kaniyang tingin kay Jayden. I shut my eyes close and took a step towards him. Bago pa man niya maiangat ulit ang kamao ay niyakap ko siya nang mahigpit na siyang ikinagulat niya.

"What the—"

"Tama na, please..." I pleaded, tears threatening to fall from my eyes. "Tama na, Alas..."

His entire body tensed again. Hindi niya ako nagawang yakapin pabalik. I hugged him tighter and after a short while, I could tell he's loosening up. Ibinagsak niya ang kamao at ipinulupot ang kaniyang kamay sa aking beywang.

"Jayden... Jayden?"

I turned my head to see them but Alas was quick to hold the back of my head. Ipinirme niya ang aking ulo sa matigas niyang dibdib at ibinaon ito na para bang ayaw niyang makita ko kung ano ang nagawa niya kay Jayden.

"This is so fucked up..." I heard Ms. Patricia muttered under her breath.

"Anong nangyayari dito?" narinig kong galit na tanong ni Sir Patrick pagkatapos nang ilang minutong tensiyonadong katahimikan.

Alas finally let go of me. Pero nakahawak pa rin ang kaniyang kamay sa aking beywang.

"Sir—"

"C-Call the press..." Jayden croaked.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Ariel sa sinabi niya. Maging kami ay nagulat din. "The press?"

Nanghihinang tumango si Jayden.

"You can't face the press with a face like that!" Jason lamented. "You can't even have your photoshoot today with a ruined face!"

"Just call the damn press." He gritted his teeth and glared at his bandmate. "We will have a press conference tonight."

I turned to see Alas. A satisfied look crossed his face.

"Hindi mo ba siya ididimanda—"

"Call the press and this will be all over." Marahas niyang winakli ang kamay ng kabanda sa kaniyang balikat at iika-ikang lumabas ng dressing room.

Ms. Patricia stared at us. Humingi ako ng paumanhin sa kanilang dalawa at dinala si Alas sa labas ng building. How he entered our premises, that I do not know. hindi na rin ako magtataka kung ginamit niya ang kaniyang hitsura sa babaeng security guard namin para makapasok siya.

"What are you doing?" I hissed.

"Settling things by my own hands." He replied in a dark tone. Binitawan ko na ang kaniyang kamay. Hindi ko makita ang Ford niya sa paligid ngunit may nakaparada namang puting Montero sa labas ng building.

Suminghap ako. "Alas, punching Jayden is not the solution to our problem!"

"He deserves a good punch. Heard what he said earlier? The douche is finally going to hold a press conference. In lieu of waiting for nothing, I'll act on my own. If it involves anything with my son's name on it, I'm all fists, Isabelle."

Napatingin ako sa kaniya, hindi makapaniwala sa sinasabi niya. Nailing ko nalang ang ulo ko. He stood and towered before me, then his eyes raked all over my body. Iniwas ko kaagad ang tingin ko. I'm not wearing anything special today, so why the aroused look, Ferrer?

"Anyway, talk to your manager or whatever... we're going out today,"

"For what?" nagtaas ako ng kilay.

A captivating yet lazy smile appeared on his lips. "We'll have your wedding gown tailored."

Nanigas ako sa kinatatayuan ko. So the fight in his study was not a joke, huh? His nonchalant wedding proposal is turning real and I can do nothing about it!

"I don't care about the wedding gown!" tinaliman ko siya ng tingin. "I'll wear whatever it is that's available."

"Wedding cakes, then." Aniya.

Ikinuyom ko ang mga kamao ko at pinigilan ang sariling irapan siya. "Hindi rin. Choose whatever you want."

"Even the wedding venue? Hmm?"

Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko. Inirapan ko siya. "Do whatever you want, Alas."

"Since when did you become a full-blown nihilist? Hmm?"

Napaatras ako nang bigla niyang nilapit ang mukha sa akin. Ang panglalaki nitong amoy ay naghari na naman sa aking ilong. Seriously, it's the same perfume he'd been using five years ago! How can I forget it?

"Any request for the wedding? Baka may sinabi ka sa akin noon na gusto mo kapag ikinasal ka, hindi ko lang maalala..." he said playfully.

I glared at him, hard and intense. Itinikom ko ang bibig ko at iniwas ang tingin pagkatapos.

"Belle?" untag niya sa akin.

"Wala!" bulyaw ko sa kaniya. "Umalis ka na dito!"

"Alright. The wedding's this weekend, by the way."

"Whatever—What?!"

Itinaas ni Alas ang isa niyang kamay habang tamad na naglalakad patungo sa puting Montero na naka-park sa malapit. Nalaglag ang panga ko sa kaniyang sinabi.

"Alas!"

"My men will fetch you. I'll see you on the wedding day..." seryoso niyang wika sabay sakay sa kaniyang bagong sasakyan at pinaharurot ito paalis.

I stared at the vehicle, not believing my ears and eyes! A wedding? This weekend? Hindi ko pa nga lubusang naaayos ang isyu ko kay Jayden, tapos ngayon ay ikakasal na ako sa kaniya?

I cursed to myself when I saw a van pulled up in front of the building. Tatlong reporters ang lumabas at kaagad akong kinuhanan ng picture nang mamataan. I ran inside the building and went straight to our departmental office. Hinihingal pa ako nang makabalik ako sa desk ko.

My phone rang. My mother is going to arrive this weekend, too. Anong madadatnan niya dito sa Pilipinas? Ang anak niyang ikakasal sa isang Ferrer?

I bit my lower lips and answered the call. Huminga ako nang malalim nang marinig ang boses ni mommy.

"Belle! How are you?" masaya nitong bati sa akin.

"When are you going home, mommy?" tanong ko sa kaniya. Narinig ko ang malakas na tawa ni Zeus mula sa di kalayuan at nakitang nakikipaglaro na siya sa isa sa aming camera man.

"This Saturday morning, nandiyan na ako sa Davao... bakit?"

"We need to talk, mom." Kalmado kong wika.

"About what?"

"I'll tell you about it when you arrived."

"Oh... okay." Nahimigan ko ang dismayadong boses ni mommy.

Ipinikit ko ang mga mata at humigit ulit ng isang malalim na hininga. "Also, while you're there, you might want to pick a nice dress."

"Dress for what?"

"I'm getting married this weekend."

I know, from the very start, that the world of media is chaotic. Unethical journalists, greedy for attention of the readers are everywhere. This world is harsh, and if you can't endure the hurtful words thrown at you, you won't survive.

"Kung gayon, sinasabi mo ba, Jayden Von Cruz, na all this time ay nagsisinungaling ka lang?" sabat ng isang reporter, hindi pa man siya natatapos sa pagsasalita.

Nasa control room ako, pero dinig na dinig ko ang nangyayaring conference sa aming function hall. Almost a hundred of reporters attended the said conference. Maraming ibinatong tanong kay Jayden, at mas lalo pa itong naging kontrobersiyal nang makita nila ang basag nitong mukha.

"Uh..." he trailed off.

"Sino ba talaga si Isabelle Avanzado sa buhay mo? Bakit kayo nakitang naghahalikan sa harap ng Apo View Hotel?"

"Mr. Cruz! Totoo po baa ng statement ninyong may itinatago kayong anak sa kaniya?"

"Totoo bang balak nang mag-disband ng The Runaways pagkatapos ng mga nangyari?"

"Anong masasabi mo sa usap-usapang balak mong i-pursue ang iyong musical career bilang independent artist? talaga bang hihiwalay ka na sa kanila?"

Inulan pa ng kung anu-anong mga tanong si Jayden. I closed my eyes and sighed. Pasimple akong siniko ni Ayesha sa aking tabi.

"Ang haba ng buhok mo, Belle!" she half-yelled, half-whispered. "Kita mo, pinag-aagawan ka ng dalawang gwapong lalaki?"

I made a face. Yeah. Both men have issues. Thank you very much.

"I'm really sorry for all the false statements I've fed the public. None of it was true. Please stop harassing Belle. Isabelle Avanzado is a good friend of mine. We're not lovers. I don't have a son with her. And yes, I am also quitting the band."

Nalaglag ang panga ko sa sinabi niya. Mas lalong umingay ang mga reporters at may ibang naging agresibo na at lumapit pa talaga sa kaniya. Jayden pulled himself up from his seat and silently exited the stage.

He's quitting the band?

Kumurap-kurap ako, hindi pa rin makapaniwala sa naririnig.

"Well, at least it's over..." naibulong ko nalang sa sarili ko habang pinagmamasdan ang komosyon mula sa screen. The guards are trying to hold off the aggressive reporters as the tension thickened.

I could only hope that these journalists who are present in the conference will only deliver the truth, and nothing but the truth, this time around...

"Isabelle!" my mother throw the door open, startling me and Zeus who were eating cereals, one peaceful morning after the issue eventually died down.

Ibinagsak ni mommy ang kaniyang suitcase sa pintuan at mabilis akong nilapitan. She looks confused, angry, and a little concerned.

"What's this whole wedding business about?"

"She's gonna marry me."

Bago ko pa man mabuksan ang bibig ko ay sumabat na si Alas, kalalabas pa lamang ng kwarto. My mother's eyes widened at the sight of him. Itinikom ko ang bibig ko at yumuko nang bahagya. Pakiramdam ko'y kung anu-ano nang iniisip ni mommy ngayon.

"What are you doing here, Alas Ferrer?"

"Your daughter is going to marry me. This Saturday. You are invited." Seryoso nitong wika sa aking ina.

Umawang ang bibig ng aking ina. We're both at loss for words. Alas adjusted the large duffel bag in his hand and the other suitcase. Binalingan niya ako. He's only wearing a simple white shirt and black pants today but he's still, as ever, striking. Napalunok ako.

"Anything else you want me to include?"

Nanghihina akong umiling. He startled me earlier this morning by knocking at my door and demanding I pack my things and Zeus'. Noong una ay nagtalo pa kami. But then Zeus woke up so I was forced to prepare breakfast for him samantalang si Alas naman ay inasikaso na ang mga gamit ko.

"Belle..." hindi makapaniwalang nakatingin sa akin ang ina ko.

I shrugged. "We'll talk about this later, mommy."

Walang kahirap-hirap na sinampay ni Alas ang malaking duffel bag sa kaniyang balikat. He scanned our small apartment with a blank expression on his face.

"I will send the stylist here and a team to help you prepare. Wedding's at the Parola beach. 10 am." He declared nonchalantly, as if announcing my examination schedule.

Walang nagsalita sa aming dalawa ni mommy. Matangkad si Alas at halos ma-ukopa na niya ang buong pintuan sa matikas niyang katawan. Marahan niyang nilapitan si Zeus at ginulo ang buhok nito.

"I'll see you this Saturday, buddy." Aniya at tumalikod na, hindi man lang nagpapaalam sa akin. "Aalis na po ako, Ma'am..."

Isang tango lang ang naisagot ni mommy sa kaniyang pahayag. Maybe she's too stunned to utter a word, too. Pinanuod naming lahat si Alas na lumabas ng apartment, dala-dala ang suitcase at duffel bag ng mga gamit at damit ko.

When he was finally out of the door, my mother waited to hear the engine of his brand new Montero SUV before she turned to me.

"Isabelle!" she demanded.

Tumayo ako at hinayaan si Zeus na magpatuloy sa kaniyang pagkain. Nilapitan ko si mommy na ngayo'y gulong-gulo ang ekspresiyon sa mukha.

"He threatened me, alright? Ilalayo niya si Zeus sa akin kapag hindi ko siya pinakasalan..."

"What? How dare him—"

"Mom, stop. May kailangan ka pang ipaliwanag sa akin..."

"What about it?"

"About our moving to North Carolina for a permanent residence that I don't know about? Hmm?"

Tumakas ang kulay sa mukha ni mommy sa sinabi ko. Ipinagkrus ko ang aking mga kamay sa dibdib. So it's true, huh?

"Isabelle..."

"Please explain..." I said softly. "Nanay kita at pinagkakatiwalaan ko ang mga desisyon mo. Alam kong kung ano man ang dahilan mo, para lang din ito sa aking anak mo at para sa apo mong si Zeus. But not informing me? Really, mommy?"

My mother rubbed her temples, clearly stressed out. Napansin ko nga ang bakas ng pighati sa kaniyang mukha. She pursed her lower lips before she murmured her explanation to me.

"Your father is dead..."

Matagal bago nag-sink in sa utak ko ang sinabi niya. "What...?"

"The governor had his ways. He died inside the prison. And now he's blackmailing me that if I don't do anything to help him get out of prison, he'll turn the murder to me."

I gasped. Bahagya akong napaatras at nanghina sa kaniyang sinabi.

"This is why I never had the courage to file an annulment with him, even after what happened. Hindi ko alam... Hindi ko alam ang kalapastanganang ginagawa niya. He's a corrupt politician, alright. But he's more than that, Belle." Sa natatakot na mga mata ay tinitigan ako ni mommy. "He's a murderer."

Nanginig ang mga labi ko sa sinabi niya. My heart feels like it's about to burst with her little revelation.

"Do you still remember Mrs. Castillo? The literature professor of the Governor Generoso Community College?"

"Malory's mom." Wala sa sarili kong sagot.

"She was murdered. By the order of the governor. And your father... he's one of his men."

Tumakas ang hikbi sa aking bibig at nagsimula nang lukubi ang dibdib ko ng matinding takot.

"If we don't run away, Belle—"

"Run away? Again?" I asked bitterly, as the first tears rolled down my cheeks. "Mom, we've been running away from them! For years!"

"Belle..."

Umiiyak na ako at napansin iyon ni Zeus. He placed his spoon down and tried to approach us but my mother raised her hand and gave him a look. Yumuko siya at nanatili sa kaniyang upuan.

"I am so tired of running away from them! Habang buhay nalang ba tayong magtatago mula sa kanila? We'll live abroad like criminals! We don't have any freedom!"

"Belle, please..." my mother pleaded.

Marahas kong pinalis ang luha ko. "Running away isn't the answer to everything, mommy. Eh ano ngayon kung siya ang governor?"

"You don't know the limits of his power! If there's any, in the first place..." she chuckled bitterly.

Mariin kong iniling ang ulo ko. "No, mommy. I am not going to run away this time. If we go, we'll have two men haunting us down—the governor and Flavian Alas Ferrer. Magiging walang katuturan ang pag-alis natin!"

My mother went silent, realizing my words. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and tried to stay calm but the fear had already enveloped my entire system. Hindi ko na mapigilan ang panginginig ng mga kamay ko.

"I'm going to marry Flavian Alas Ferrer. He's going to protect me and my son. Just like what you did when you married the governor, right? For protection..."

"See where it took me! Belle, baka magkamali ka sa desisyon mo!"

"No." mariin kong wika. Hinigit ko ang isang malalim na hininga. "He's going to protect his son at all costs. Kahit huwag na ako. Running away will still put our lives at risk. I'm going to marry him and my decision is final."

Motherhood had taught me to grow my own limbs and bare my fangs. I've seen how she tried to protect me when I was younger and I'm going to repeat the history with my son. Surely, the governor wouldn't touch us if I'm wed to Alas, right? He wouldn't dare...

Namumugto ang mga mata ko kinagabihan nang pumasok ako sa kwarto. Zeus asked me what's wrong. I replied shortly at him and told him to go to sleep. Nakatitig lang ako sa kisame ko. Hindi pa ako kumakain ng hapunan pero hindi rin naman kumakalam ang sikmura ko.

All I could think about is our safety. My son's safety and how I could protect him. Marrying Alas, could be, the best choice after all.

Isa pa, mahal ko siya... even if he's mad at me right now, marrying him is better than nothing, right? I won't expect a prosperous marriage with him. Just the safety of my son... that's all I ask.

My phone rang violently. Napaigtad ako at kinuha ito sa gilid ng aking kama.

I cleared my throat before pressing the accept call button. Inilagay ko ang phone sa aking tainga.

"Hello..." I said slowly.

"Get ready tomorrow morning. Nagpadala na ako ng stylist sa bahay ninyo. The gown is ready to fit..." aniya sa baritonong boses.

Napapikit ako at pinigilan muli ang pag-agos ng mga luha. "Okay..." I croaked.

"And I will also give you the engagement ring, tomorrow. Para may maisuot ka lang—"

"Alas, there's really no need for that."

"Don't act silly, Belle. If you think that I'm going this for you, this grandiose wedding... you're wrong. I'm doing it for my son. Not for you."

My throat thickened. Yeah, I know that already.

Hindi ako sumagot. I could still hear his heavy breathing on the other line. Marahas na suminghap si Alas.

"I gotta go." anito sa malamig na tinig bago ibinaba ang tawag.

I closed my eyes and clutched the phone to my chest.

In two days time, I'm going to get married.