Love is often depicted as a beautiful, happy, and magical concept in people's minds. But for some, love takes on a different form—one that tears their heart in two, leaving them stuck in a painful limbo and robbing them of their sleep, peace, and ability to trust again. This kind of love feels like hell on earth, rendering them unknown, helpless, and pathetic.

He used to daydream about the lovable aspects of love, foolishly believing that it would bring nothing but joy. Little did he know that he would be faced with a reality where love brought nothing but pain, sorrow, and heartbreak, along with countless sleepless nights.

Years have passed, yet he finds himself unable to move on from her, haunted by memories that torment him daily. Why is moving on so difficult for him when others seem to do it effortlessly? Why is he still trapped in this hell, unable to let go of a girl who betrayed him, shattered his trust, and destroyed the love he had for her?

He's disappointed in himself for still longing for her, for still searching for her at the mere mention of another's name. What must Anbu think of him, seeing him unable to move on from his first relationship? Even though Anbu may mask her emotions, he knows deep down his inability to let go leaves her feeling insecure.

As he sits alone, sipping wine and drowning in his thoughts, the emptiness around him mirrors the void in his heart. With each sip, memories flood back, preventing any hope of a peaceful night's sleep. His mind relentlessly replays the past, tormenting him until the early hours of the morning.

He wonders where he went wrong, to deserve such suffering. His current situation feels like being trapped in a damaged boat, teetering on the edge of destruction in the vast ocean. He can neither jump into the unknown depths nor stay aboard the sinking vessel. Similarly, he cannot let go of Anu, yet he cannot fully embrace Anbu either.

Damn! How much worse can his life get than this? Just a few hours ago, he was enjoying a good time with Anbu until it felt like the universe decided to mess with his head. His relationship with Anu had already ended years ago; it was supposed to be the end of his past. Yet here he is tonight, drowning in regret over past decisions when he should be fast asleep by now. Why is he still trapped in this endless cycle of a relationship that shattered him into pieces? And now, after all these years of trying to pick up the broken fragments of himself, it seems like the universe is determined to thwart his efforts to move on from Anu.

He's beyond frustrated, grappling with how to break free from this never-ending loop. He wants to move on, he wants to rediscover happiness, and he wants to embrace the potential future with Anbu. But these memories of Anu and the moments they shared continue to consume him, blinding him to the present. Maybe he never should have allowed himself to become physically entwined with her.

The combination of intimate and emotional attachment is a relentless torment, and he finds himself ensnared by both for a woman who tore his soul apart. The intensity of their past relationship now haunts him, casting doubts on whether he'll ever be able to fully commit to a future with Anbu. It's terrifying to contemplate whether he'll ever be capable of loving Anbu as deeply as he did Anu.

~~

"Anu, please, just listen to me," he pleaded desperately as he chased after his girlfriend, who seemed determined to ignore him.

"Anu... Anu... Anu, please stop," he said, grabbing her hand tightly to halt her progress. She squirmed in his grasp, but he refused to let go.

His gaze remained fixed on her, but she refused to meet his eyes, instead scanning the area around them. He followed her gaze and noticed a group of students whispering and casting furtive glances their way.

Realising they were in the midst of the crowded canteen, he reluctantly released her hand, feeling a pang of embarrassment. Anu shot him a glare, her eyes filled with anger directed at him.

"Um... sorry," he muttered, scratching the back of his neck nervously as he became acutely aware of the scene he had caused. Anu didn't respond, simply lowering her head and walking past him.

He sighed, feeling frustrated and guilty for causing her distress. Despite his own feelings, he knew he had to make things right with her.

Without any other options, he followed her, calling out to her in endearing terms in an attempt to soften her mood. But she remained resolute, ignoring his pleas and continuing to walk away.

As they made their way through the hallway, he couldn't help but notice the curious stares of their fellow students. Ignoring their judgmental looks, he followed Anu like a lost puppy, uncertain of where she was leading him.

After a few more minutes of walking, they entered the college auditorium, their usual meeting spot. Relieved to find it empty, he hoped for a chance to talk things out with Anu away from prying eyes.

"Anuuuuu," he called out to her as they entered.

"Stop," he said curtly, signalling for her to halt.

She stopped walking and turned around, her expression filled with irritation. "What the hell do you want?" she hissed at him, her tone dripping with annoyance.

"I said I'm sorry," he replied, attempting to look innocent for her.

"So? What do you expect me to do? Should I distribute sweets to the students because the greatest, egoistic, and short-tempered senior of the college who beats up literally anyone said sorry to me?" she retorted sarcastically.

"I didn't say that. I'm genuinely sorry, Anu... I shouldn't have beaten him," he trailed off, noticing her changing expression, though she quickly reverted to anger.

"No, actually, go and beat whoever you want... because you don't care about anyone, right? All you do is boss around your juniors and beat your classmates. Why would I care about my words? The whole college will see you as a rowdy, but you won't care, right? You don't care even if you're restricted due to your actions... And that would be a full stop to your career," she breathed heavily as she finished speaking.

"He was talking about your structure and predicting your bra size with his friends, that too in front of me. What would you have done if you were in my place?" he asked, knowing how to provoke her.

"He should be thankful to me that I left him with only bruises. I should have broken his jaw, but these people stopped me. How dare he talk about my girl, that too in front of me," she seethed.

"Maybe what I did was wrong, Anu, but he wasn't any saint either, and I repeat myself... I can tolerate anything but not your insult," he made his stance clear, earning an incredulous look from her before she turned her head away.

After a moment of silence, he softened his tone. "Okay... I'm sorry," he apologised, holding his ears as he looked at her. Her eyes softened, and her facial muscles relaxed, her eyes shining with admiration.

"Hmm... but promise me you won't beat anyone from now on," Anu requested, extending her hand to him, expecting a promise.

When he hesitated, she narrowed her eyes at him, signalling that she meant business.

Sighing, he relented. "Huff... I promise I won't lay my hand on anyone who is not innocent."

"But," she began to interrupt, but he cut her off. "No 'buts.' I promised. Now let's hug and end this war," he said with a wide smile, pulling her into a tight embrace.

Anu yelped initially, but then she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him back.

Closing his eyes, he savoured her warmth, skin, and body, everything he had craved for during the days when she had been avoiding him. Now, with her so close to him, like his second skin, he could feel her breath on him, while she could feel the warmth of his body.

"Love you," they murmured together, chuckling at themselves, still embracing each other with content hearts, knowing that nothing could break them apart.

~~

After coming back to my little past I turned to my right side, I grabbed my phone from the table. Taking a long breath, I made up my mind to confess the fact that I haven't moved yet. Anbu deserves to know this. I can't keep her in darkness by hiding or pretending as if I don't have anything to do with my past life. it would be so unfair to her. What if she learns all this after our marriage ? I don't want to create a disaster in both of our lives. I should let her know what she deserves to know. and I have to accept whatever she decides. whether she wants to call off the marriage or ?

Putting a full stop to my growing expectation about her decision to be with me, I opened our chat and found that she wasn't online as it had been one night and she might have slept by now. yet not wanting to postpone i chose to ping the msg and wait for her reply.

* i'm sorry for being late for this *

* i haven't moved on yet* i hit the send button and saw the one tick means the message was successfully delivered. a moment passed and the screen was still the same.

* i haven't moved yet from my past relationship* added further hoping that she won't get perplexed about what i was saying.

my eye balls came out when i saw the blank ticks turning into double blue ticks.

She is online and reads my messages. Wait, didn't she sleep yet ?

my heartbeats increased when i saw 'typing' instead of online.

*typing*