Nandini's POV

It was already night when I looked at my phone which was laying silent. No calls... No messages.! From him.

It's not I didn't know what I said. I did know and I am so guilty. I called him and messaged him the whole day. He didn't pick it up nor replied. Just once his phone got answered only when his secretary picked it up saying he was in recording studio.

I did realised my mistake as I uttered that horrible statement. What was I even thinking?

I will tell you what I was thinking. I was not thinking straight. All I could see was to remember the nightmare I saw the previous night.

Neel on death bed with his photo placed there. Garland tucked perfectly around it's frame and I was so helpless. My son was smiling in the photograph and I was crying. I shut open my eyes when I felt it was just a nightmare. I had ran to my children room in the middle of the night just to see both of them safe and sound sleeping peacefully.

I had sat there watching over them without even closing my eye. What if I close my eyes and they disappear? Everytime when I watch my child, my son all I see him is saying good bye to me. Although he was with me, near me that is because I don't want him to even go a little away from me.

Am I wrong thinking that way? Should I not be even bother about my kid's health. I know he is equal parent he must be going through the same pain that I am going through but it just....

How do I even make myself or him understand that what I am feeling. How I am feeling? All that I am thinking is how to save him.

When I came here Amms told me to take him to someone who she believes that will cure him in just pinch of a second. And the mother in me almost agreed to take him to that person because all I want him to be okay. But Cabir Jiju knocked some sense back into my mind that no one other than medical treatments will cure him.

"Bade Nani.... Raj... Rajtumari..." I heard Mahi saying with such amusement in her voice. I turned to see them still settled in Amms lap as they heard the story that was Amms telling them. Since the time they have come here, they all are really happy including my kids. Generally I don't visit much here because they have school and I have to look after to a lot of things in my house. But this time I just needed some time to think. What to do and what not to.

Mahi and Neel enjoyed the extra pampering along with Abeer. Abeer who was a brat too. Mahi just got another partner in crime. They made the whole house upside down.

Neel had been queit. He knew he cannot run so he played video games with Abeer or did drawing or played Rubik's Cube.

"Rajkumari beta" Amms corrected and Mahi nodded understing. This girl and her fascination towards fairytales. I smiled at both my kids who were queitly listening to the story.

I leaned on the window pane and looked at my phone again. I pouted mentally and called him again. How much he will ignore?

It rang and rang and rang and then sudden silence.

"Hello..." His voice rang into my ears and I took a sigh of breath. Finally!

"Hello Manik..." I spoke and fell silent. What should I speak? Maybe sorry... But directly? Where he must be? Wasn't he missing kids? Missing me? Maybe... I hardly think he miss me today.

"Hmm..." Such reply from him. I can't even roll my eyes.

"Kaha ho?" I asked the safest question.

"Just came home. Kaam tha kuch?" He replied curtly.

Just came ka kya matlab hai? I watched the clock it was almost ten in night. Does this man ever sees the watch when he's working?

"Manik dus baj rahe hai... You should have come home early..." I complained like the typical wife. Ain't I?

"Kuch kaam hai tou bolo" he replied with a bored tone.

"Khana khaya tumne?" I asked. He just came so he wouldn't have ate anything.

"Nahi. What Neel and Mahi are doing? Is Neel okay? Did he ate? And Mahi? I hope she is having fun there" I heard his rant.

"Manik khana khaa lo please! Niche jao aur fridge mein hoga dinner. Plate mein nikal ke garam karke khaa lo please!" I requested. How can he sleep with empty stomach.

"Are they there? Let me talk to my kids" he ignored my request royally. One thing is sure when Manik is hurt or angry he ignores like a king that sometimes even you think you don't exist in this world.

"Manik please!!! Mahi aur Neel dono ne khaa liya hai aur Maine bhi... Tum bhi khaa lo please! Bhukhe mat sona please! Please!" I begged almost on the phone. I don't care even if I have to beg to him to eat.

I heard him sigh deeply over the phone and that was my clue to talk further.

"Manik I know you are hurt and you should be. I am... I am so sorry. My mind isn't thinking straight. I don't know how those words came out and..."

And the call was killed in the middle. Was I speaking to death phone call? Just then I realised he cut the call. Didn't I say that he ignores royally? Well I don't blame him. I deserve this. But he can get his anger out by ignoring me and not on food. He needs to eat food to function.

What should I do? Call Mom! No... Khamkha worried ho jayenge.

Bhabhi... yes.

I hurriedly called Bhabhi and thankfully she picked up immediately.

"Bhabhi..."

"Haan Nandu... Kya hua? Sab thik? Is Neel okay?" She asked hurriedly.

"Haan everything is fine it's just that... will you please give food to Manik? He just came home" I informed.

"Abhi? He came home at this time? God... what is wrong with this guy?" She cursed.

"Please make sure he eats." I requested.

"Don't worry I am just going in kitchen to warm the food." She spoke and she took a small pause.

"Nandu... sab thik hai na?" She asked making me go nervous. Was it so obvious?

Of course when your husband is not eating and you call your sister-in-law to request her to make sure that he eats that means something is wrong between you two.

"Haan sab thik..." I lied. I don't have any other option.

"He's warming the food. I'll make him eat don't worry. Just take care of kids okay?" She said and I relieved. At least he still listens to my sensible talks and requests.

But I seriously need a tape to shut my shitty mouth.

"Chalo chalo who's going to drink this delicious hot chocolate?" I heard Didi's chirpy voice as she entered in Amms' room.

Mahi and Neel loved loved Hot chocolate so they both jumped off the bed to grab their mugs while Abeer was least interested.

Didi actually had to pull his ears to make him drink it. It was fun to see them like that.

"Come on now we will sleep okay? It's late" I spoke sighing sadly.

Didi placed her hand on my shoulder "sab thik?"

Was it so obvious? I mean...! Come on.

"Yes yes. I am a bit tired" I spoke and she just nodded.

Kids finished their drink and we headed towards my room. I am a firm believer that I might not get sleep here. It's been years that I came here and slept.

I made both of them lay on the bed and I myself laid beside them covering all of us with a comforter.

"Whose room is this?" Mahi asked playing with her own fingers. I entangled her fingers from each other and placed her hand on her tummy "mine."

"But yours is in oul house" She spoke immediately.

"This was my room when I didn't marry your Papa" I replied smilingly remembering all the moments I spent here.

"You married Papa?" This time Neel asked curiously.

"Of course!" I replied excitedly. All our wedding memories hot me so hard. And the guilt too. Nandini you are an insane woman.

"So which is your house?" Mahi asked almost shocked. Oh my baby!

"Both houses are my houses Princess" I replied.

"Haww... I also want to have two two house" She instantly wished.

"You will... when you will get big." I replied touching her hairs. That is true, one day my little daughter will get big and we'll have to semd her to someone else's house. Manik won't be ready for this like ever.

"Mamma... I will get two two houses too?" Neel asked and I laughed.

"No baby... Only girls are blessed with two houses" I replied and kissed their forehead.

"Yesss" "cheating" both of them almost commented at the same time almost.

I laughed and made them sleep.

With my other hand I picked up my phone and messages "Khana khaa liya?"

"Haan" he replied almost immediately. Were you waiting for me to message?

"Manik I am sorry!" I messaged and he read it but didn't reply.

I sighed and just then my phone rang. And it was Manik.

I hurriedly picked it up.

"Manik"

"Give phone to kids. I need to talk to them" he spoke swiftly.

I sighed and put the phone on speaker "see whose calling babies?"

"Papa...." they both yelled in happiness making me smile. That's how they are obsessed with him.

"Ale ale... What my babies are doing huh? Missing Papa or not? Because I am missing you al... I mean I am missing you two so much! The house is not same without you two kids." He spoke and I smiled. I am missing you too Manik.

"Papa... I miss you so much. Pata hai... Aaj Bade Nani ne story sunayi... kisi... ah... Rajtumari ki" Mahi chanted.

He laughed over the phone "Rajkumari princess" he corrected.

"Whatever... I want Rajtumari's Rajtumar" She demanded.

"Mahi... Rajkumari means Princess and Rajkumar means Prince" He informed.

I and Neel always have to be silent spectators for their talks.

"Haww... Bade Nani cheated." She pouted and I laughed.

He laughed too.

"Baby aap story kam suna karo" he spoke.

Mahi was about to reply but his voice again beamed "Neel... Aren't you missing Papa beta?"

Neel smiled and took the phone from my hand "I miss you Papa... I love you"

"I love you too my son! How are you anyway? Are you feeling good huh?" He asked making me regret those words again. How could I think like that? What was wrong with me? No seriously. I am hurt by my own words I don't know how he must be feeling.

"I am good Papa... Mamma takes care of me" Neel looked at me smilingly and I smiled back softly caressing his hairs.

"Of course! Anyways why are you up till now huh? You two sleep. Mahi you have school tomorrow Princess" he said.

"I am sleeping only." She replied giggling putting her small hand on her mouth.

"Okay I should sleep too then. I love you my bachas... Papa loves you two so much! Take care... Bye" he spoke and I snatched the phone from Neel.

"Bye Papa" they both shouted and I put the speaker off "Manik..."

The phone didn't go cut so I stood up to have some private talk with my husband.

"Manik... Please meri baat sunlo! Please!" I requested and there was no voice from other side but that's fine!

"I know whatever I said was not at all acceptable. Aur mera yaha aana bhi tumhe nahi pasand hai. Par mujhe waqt chahiye Manik. Bas thoda time! And I am sorry for whatever I said yesterday and today morning. Before you say or think that Mere man mein aisa hoga isiliye I spoke such words tou aisa kuch bhi nahi hai. It just slipped out of my mouth and you shouldn't forgive me easily. I know and I understand but just don't ignore me please! I... I need you." I said and tears ran down my eyes.

"I am sorry Manik" I said when there was no words spoken from other side.

"Good night" he spoke and then the beep sound.

I looked at the screen crying.

I opened the messenger and texted him "I love you!"

He read it and didn't reply. This was first.

First that I said I love you to him and he didn't reply. It hurted me but... I deserve this and I cannot even complain.

I looked at my kids who were already asleep. I wiped my tears and went to them hoping to get some sleep!

******

The next day was not so usual for me, I hardly had any work in this house. Plus, people didn't let me work even a bit. All I did was to take care of Neel and call or messaged Manik which definitely went unanswered.

Mahi was long back to school. Abeer entertained me though all the time.

When Mahi returned, Neel was already asleep so it was easy to take care of my other baby. I sat with her, made her eat, she told me what she did in the school. The new gossips about her miss and so on.

My whole day spent idle at home and now I realised how much easy it was for me to live in that house and not in this house. Who could say that this is my house where I born and brought up and not that but... I think every woman goes through this situation I guess.

And the purpose I came here was fulfilling. I had a great amount to think about everything. My mind was telling me to go with surgery and have hope but my heart... A mother's heart kept denying. It is not easy for me. Period!

Everytime I made up my mind that I will go with surgery. With whatever Manik was saying my heart reminded me the nightmare I saw. And it wasn't just for a day... I had this dreadful nightmare everynight. Seeing Neel not beside me actually gives me jitters.

But for people it is so easy to say anything about it. I had went to the temple with Amms and people just have to talk. Like what did they say? That you have twins so kya fark padta hai? And I was like are you even normal? Yes I have twins and I have my own share of love with both of them. Both are my kids. I am not biased towards anyone. And that made me realise even more about how much hurt would be Manik. Because practically people almost said the same thing to me. The only difference here was the people who said that to me didn't matter to me. They are no one to me but... For Manik I know how much I mattered. How much he loved me. I still hurt him. And I curse myself. But now what's done is done. What should I do now? What is the solution?

Right now all I want is my family to be together. Neel, Mahi and Manik. All of them together. But seems like everything is tearing apart. My happily ever after was breaking apart. But I won't let it break.

I didn't much bug Manik about anything. Because I know he needs time too.

I sighed and glanced at the television screen where shin chan show was going on. My daughter was obsessed with that show. All the time she keeps seeing this or any barbie show.

It was almost dinner time so Chachi was preparing that. Cabir Jiju was seated with Abeer playing something on the phone.

I sighed and shook my head coming out of my thoughts.

Just then I heard a horn honking outside. I furrowed my eyebrows. Who is it?

I peeked outside to see Manik entering the house with a packet in his hand. I instantly grinned and jumped up from the sofa making Neel and Mahi almost fall from my lap.

He stood there looking at me and I stood there happily ready to go and hug him but before me maybe my kids missed them much more.

"Papa...." They both happily ran to him.

"Papa... Mere Papa...." Mahi chirpily jumped on him and Neel on the other side and I admired them as they kissed his cheeks and pulled his hairs.

He placed both of them down and Amms looked at him.

"Are Manik beta... Mahi aur Neel bahot miss kar rahe the tumhe" she spoke.

Manik walked towards the sofa and hugged Cabir Jiju. They both greeted well just like long lost friends and our kids kept hugging his knees while their father was busy in talking with Jiju.

I looked at his face and I remembered how much I missed him. Also how much I love this man! But isn't it me who always keeps hurting him? Always... I an sorry Manik. Look at me please.

"Papa...." I heard Mahi and he immediately looked down and sat on the sofa beside Jiju. He picked them up and settled them in his lap.

They got busy in their hush hush talks and giggling. I instantly went to kitchen and fetched water in a glass also putting some coffee on the stove. I informed Chachi and Didi who were in kitchen that Manik was here.

I ran out to give him the water.

"Miss then said...." Mahi was giggling talking to Manik but seeing me she stopped and all of them looked up at me.

"Pani" I gave him the glass of water. He glanced at me and at the glass. And then took the glass from my hand.

"I just came here to meet my kids" he informed handing me the glass back.

I looked at him sadly while he looked at Neel.

"Mamma is pouting.... see Papa" Mahi beamed and I instantly moved my face away.

"And this... is for my kids... lots of chocolates but yes share it with Abeer Bhaiya too. And one at a time. Okay?" He said and Didi handed me the coffee.

I passed him the mug which he took without looking at me even.

There's no chance I can talk to him here in front if everyone. I need to talk to him in private. But how?

"Manik... Dinner karke jana beta" I heard Chachi saying but Manik shook his head.

"No no Chachi. Main tou bas Bacho se milne aaya tha... Bahot miss kar raha tha tou socha mil lu." He said.

"Acha... Jaise Nandu ko tou miss hi nahi kiya hai na?" Chachi teased him but he didn't smile or blush. He glanced at me and I at him. Did he not miss me?

"Yaad hai na Cabir kaise milne aaya karta tha pehle? Nandu se... Ek pal bhi reh nahi pata tha" Chachi added more while he looked down pressing his lips.

"Dekho sharma gaya... Hayeee mera sona munda" she said pulling his cheeks while my eyes wandered around as I saw Jiju looking at me with narrowed eyes. Shit!

"Aisa kuch nahi hai Chachi." He replied.

"Uh... Manik... come upstairs" I spoke out of nowhere and everyone's eyes turned towards me. Did I say something wrong? Or maybe on wrong time? Calling my own husband in the room isn't wrong right?

"Kyun?" He asked coldly.

"Wo kuch saman wapas dena tha. Matlab galati se mere pass aa gaya hai. Ghar pe cupboard mein rakh dena" I lied impressively. I had no such thing with me. I just wanted to talk to him in alone.

He narrowed his eyes "Wapas aaogi tou leke aana" he replied shrugging his shoulders.

Why so cold Mr. Husband?

"Are chalo na... kuch important hai" I spoke almost loudly while people around us kept gazing at both of us.

He glared at me but at the same time his phone rang.

He picked it up instantly placing kids on the floor.

"Hello... Haan Dhruv. Abhi?" He talked over the phone and glanced at his watch once.

"Achha... Thik hai aata hun. Nahi nahi. Bahar hi hun. Haan. Cya" he put the phone down and my heart immediately sank down.

"I need to go. Wo urgent recording schedule hui hai and I need to be there" He stood up.

"Rukte tou sath mein dinner karte" Jiju spoke.

"Kisi aur din. Chal Bye" He said to him and kneeled down on his knees before Mahi and Neel.

"Be good okay? And take care of yourself" He said and kissed both of them. They hugged him not wanting him to go.

Neel vroke the hug but Mahi kept hugging him.

"Mahi Princess" He called out.

"Ghar chale Papa..." She spoke meekly. Mahi misses the house more.

He patted her back "Mahi Mamma idhar hai and you need Mamma beta"

"Mamma ghar chalte hai tou" She spoke and I looked at Manik.

"Nahi beta... Mamma kitne time baad yaha aayi hai. Rehne do na. Achha main kal aapko school se pick karu?" He cajoled her and she just nodded unhappily.

"Mahi... Jaldi hi ghar lautenge. Mamma promise!" I spoke kneeling beside her and looked at Manik.

He looked at me and kissed Mahi's cheek.

"Bye Princess... Papa loves you" he said looking at me.

"Tell Papa that you loves him too" I said still looking at him.

"And I love you both" I heard Neel saying and he hugged both of us from neck.

Mahi too pulled us together and we were so close. For a moment I thought I should kiss and make up then and there but then I realised my misatake was not so small that a kiss can mend everything between us.

"Mujhe chalna chahiye" he stood up pattinga t both of them and walked out.

I ran behind him and before he could sit inside the car, I closed the door behind and stood in between him and car.

"What?" He asked arrogantly.

"Manik I am sorry! I am apologising" I pleaded.

"I didn't mean it. I was already occupied with so many thoughts that..."

"That you thought I don't care for my son. Right?" He snapped back at me cutting me in between.

"No" I said lowly.

"Kitna aasan hai na Nandini bol dena... Par jo sunta hai usse puchho that how much painful it is..." He spoke looking at me.

I sighed sadly and moved close to him "I know I am a fool. The biggest fool. But please don't ignore me this way. Gussa karlo. Kuch boldo par... par baat karo na... I am... I need you. I am breaking Manik." I cried.

"You think I am not breaking inside?" He asked coldly.

"You are I know..." I sobbed more but he pushed me away a bit causing me lean on the car door.

"You think you know everything but in reality... you don't even know a percent of it. Get that." He said angrily and pushed me a bit so tht he could open the door.

"Please Manik... We need to be together in this. You only said it..."

"That was I was trying but you clearly don't want that. So be it." He cut me off hard.

His phone rang again an dhe picked it up.

"Yes Soha. No tell him to wait fifteen minutes. Yes" he spoke short and then pushed me away from the door more so that now he opened the door.

He settled inside and was about to start the car when I stopped him.

"Manik I know what I did is wrong. I am sorry for whatever I spoke. But remember I love you just as much as you love our kids" I said and backed away.

In no time he ran his car out of the gate without turning back.

I cried watching him go. Another attempt fail. I deserve this. Why can't I die?

I wiped my tears off to go inside but stopped in middle as I saw Jiju standing there with his hands on his waist looking at me and then at the gate.

"Tum dono sudhroge nahi na?" He asked and I bit my lip.

In no time we were settled on the steps of the verandah.

"Now tell me what happened? Why were you crying and he was the angryman there?" He asked and I gulped down my tears.

"This time it was clearly me at mistake." I said.

"What exactly? Explain please!" He requested and I explained him what happened in past two days with us.

He first sat there extremely shocked and when I stopped talking he blasted at me.

"Are you insane woman? Matlab kya soch rahi thi tum? Aisa kaise bol sakti hou tum yaar. This time you are at misatke completely. I am in full support of Manik" He lashed out on me and I cried.

"I know it is my misatke and I understood. But now the problem is I don't know what to do?" I cried.

"Sab khatam hota dikh taha hai Jiju. Neel ki wajah se pehle hi tension hai aur ab ye... Aisa lag raha hai ki sab bikhar raha hai dhire dhire aur main... main kuch kar hi nahi paa rahi hun. In fact, galati hi meri hai.... Manik tou wanted to be together. He held so strong and look at me... I broke us Jiju... I broke us" The tears weren't stopping and the lump in my heart was paining me so much.

Everything was fading away. I could feel it. Manik was going away from me. Neel will go away too. Our family was breaking. Our happily ever after...

I sobbed in my palms when I felt his hands encircling around me.

"Shush... Nandu... bas bacha" He spoke and I cried out more hugging him.

"Main bas chahti thi thoda time to figure out things. I didn't know I was pushing Manik away." I hiccuped in his arms.

"Koi baat nahi... Har baar tum log kitni mushkilo se lado ho? Ye mushkil se bhi lad lena. Haan par sath hoke. He'll come around. Don't worry" He spoke and I shook my head.

I broke the hug and wiped my tears "wo... wo bahot hurt hai."

"Hurt kaun nahi hoga Nandu? But I know that this shall pass too. All of you will be okay along with Neel" He whispered and I sniffed.

"I really think you both should go with the surgery Nandu. Manik galat nahi hai" he spoke and I nodded.

"Janti hun main. Par mera man... mera man nahi man raha Jiju. Aisa lag raha hai ke kuch galat hoga. Aur ye instincts galat nahi ho sakte." I said looking down.

"Tou phir kya socha hai?" He asked.

"Honestly... Abhi kuch bhi sochna nahi chahti hun main. We have few days so main jaldbazi mein koi bhi faisla nahi lena chahti." I said looking up at him.

He kissed my forehead "okay... but stay strong okay?"

I nodded and he stood up to go inside.

I watched the gate from where his car disappeared and sighed.

"I miss you Manik and I really really sorry. I hope you can listen to my heart!" I whispered and stood up to go inside.

******