I yanked my beaten up, black jean jacket from around my waist and pulled it on. The crisp Michigan breeze caused the fallen autumnal leaves to swirl around the blacktop as I walked towards the dining hall.

It was the afternoon after the Halloween party and I had just finished my three classes for the day. I was unable to concentrate on any of my lectures because my mind was too consumed in overanalyzing Vic's every move and word from last night.

I was so certain he was straight because that was all I had ever known. Growing up as the only gay guy in my small, close-minded town, I could never imagine someone so masculine and strong like Vic, being the same as quiet and weak, Kellin.

I tucked a piece of my half brown, half blonde hair behind my ear and out of my eyes. The hair dye that Jenna used on me wasn't permanent and after my morning shower most of it had washed out. Leaving the top of my head with my signature raven brown locks and the bottom half a faded blonde.

The more I watched the tan toned dye mix with the water and swirl down the drain, the more it felt like I was watching all the chances I had with Vic wash away.

Last night was just a facade. A fluke. Vic was probably tipsy and didn't know what he was saying or who he was saying it to. I was used to being invisible and I was content with it.

I shuffled up the historical cobblestone steps, my TOMS scratching against the stray pebbles as I approached the large oak door that lead to the campus's main dining hall.

I handed the woman standing at the main entrance my student I.D. She swiped it through the computer and returned it to me, offering a warm smile.

That's what I liked so much about this University, the professors and staff were overly friendly. Once I had come out at my old school, there was a sudden shift in my teachers' attitudes towards me. They weren't outright rude but they were no longer kind; they tolerated me and it was obvious that they really didn't want to.

At college it was different. My guidance counselor, Ms. Juniper, knew I was gay, something I disclosed to her on my first day here. I was nervous and afraid of the abuse that I endured in my hometown and wanted to make sure things would be better here.

She was quick to comfort me and reassure me that Michigan State has a zero bullying policy which stretched not only for fellow classmates, but faculty and staff too. Ms. Juniper was the first person who told me that college was a place where people could finally be themselves; they could let go of whatever pressures they had been holding in all their lives and be free.

Free. That's what I wanted to be. Free to express myself the way I always had dreamed to. I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard a familiar and free voice call out my name.

"Kellin! We're all over here!" Jack exclaimed, waving his arms around from a nearby booth.

I chuckled to myself and made my way towards them. Maybe I could ask Jack if he could take me under his wing. Teach me how to be confident and self-assured like he was. I slid into the cushioned booth next to Oli and greeted all of my friends. They were all discussing their classes and how their days were going so far.

"Kellin, you were already asleep by the time I got home last night so I couldn't ask you how the party was! I saw you and Vic getting very close at one point." Jack smiled and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

I turned a dark shade of eggplant as I tried to hide my embarrassment.

"Yeah, um well, Vic approached me and we started talking. That was it." I shrugged my shoulders and started flipping through my daily planner.

"It looked like a pretty steamy conversation. And trust me, I know a steamy conversation when I see one." Jack grinned.

"It's true mate, Jack has steamy conversations down to a science." Oli chimed in.

"What did Vic say, exactly? I need line by line, word for word, don't leave anything out. The doctor is in session." Jack smirked and straightened up an imaginary tie as he whipped open his notebook pretending to take notes.

"Uh.. he called me Kurt at first, which I was confused about but then I realized I was dressed up AS Kurt." I replied. Jenna giggled in response to my silliness.

"Go on...." Jack urged.

"And then he asked if I could sing for him sometime since I was the lead singer of his favorite band." I continued.

Jack arched his eyebrows. Oli leaned forward in his seat. Jenna's jaw dropped. I started getting nervous now, was what he said a bad sign? I knew Vic could never be into me.

"Uh.. uh then I think I attempted flirting because I told Vic I would give him a private, unplugged, concert." I spoke.

Jenna squealed and pretended to fan herself, "Kellin! That is SO suggestive!"

"Yeah I don't know what I was doing. But uh then he said that I looked great as a blonde but that I was, quote "even more beautiful with my natural brunette hair." I went on, glancing at my friends who were all on the edge of their seats while Jack was scribbling away in his notebook.

"Lastly, he touched my cheek and ran his fingers through my hair. He said he would hold me to that private concert and then he like, tugged on my flannel and pulled me close to him. Then his friend called him and he left." I finished recapping my conversation with Vic and instantly covered my face with my hands to hide my embarrassment.

Jack broke the silence.

"The doctor has finished decoding Steamy Conversation #1 between Kellin Quinn and Vic Fuentes. My ruling is....VIC LOVES KELLIN!" Jack exclaimed and whipped his paper around, displaying cartoon versions of Vic and I inside a big heart.

(Drawn by Asking4AHorizon!! This drawing is amazing and I still can't believe someone cared enough to draw art inspired by my story! Thank you again!!!)

"There is no way Vic is interested in me! He's not even gay! He went to the party with some girl anyways, Amanda." I huffed and slumped in my seat.

"Kellin Kellin Kellin, just because he went to the party with a girl doesn't mean he likes her. It doesn't even mean he's straight. I knew so many guys like him in high school. All tough and macho on the outside, but on the inside, they can't hide their true feelings. And Vic's true feelings are GAY. Or bi." Jack spoke.

"I guess that could be true." I answered.

"That's the spirit!" Oli exclaimed reassuringly.

"No straight guy I've ever known would flirt like that with another guy." Jenna chimed in.

"Exactly. Vic was 100% all over you. You have just as good a chance as anyone else on this campus." Oli said.

"Yeah and he mentioned your natural brown hair which means he must have noticed you way before the party last night. Which means he has definitely been checking you out." Jack nodded.

"Huh, I didn't notice that." I responded and instantly noticed my friends all staring at something behind me.

"What are you all looking at?" I tried to turn my head but Oli's hand shot right in front of my face.

"What's going on?" I asked and maneuvered around Oli to see what they were all looking at. I wish I hadn't.

Vic was seated at a table with all his soccer team. He was looking so good in his jersey, his forehead glistening with a little sweat from what I can only assume to be the practice they all just came from.

But what I didn't need to assume at all was the blonde leaning over in her chair towards Vic. She took his jersey in her hands and pulled her towards him in a sloppy, gross kiss. Vic kissed her back and I wanted to crawl back to my dorm and hide away forever.

"Uh... there's still a chance he's bi? Or in the closet!" Jack said to comfort me.

Yeah there still could be a chance that Vic was all of those things. But there was one thing he wasn't, available. My heart sunk in my chest as my eyes wandered over to Jack's drawing. Just because I couldn't have Vic didn't mean I couldn't have someone else. This was college. It was the time for me to put myself out there and experiment. And that was exactly what I was going to do.

"Jack? You said there's a party in our dorm tonight right?" I asked.

"Yeah dude, what're you thinking?" Jack responded with caution.

"I'm thinking that I want to go. And I want you to give me some dating pointers. And I'm going to grind up on some guys and maybe kiss them. I want to get my mind off Vic" I said semi-confidently.

"I can do that, I can do that. You deserve to have fun! It's college baby!" Jack nodded in agreement.

"I'm getting a sandwich." I spoke and stood up, making my way to the custom sandwich line.

I was waiting for my turn when I felt a tap on my shoulder. When I turned around I was met with the last person I wanted to see right now, Vic.

"Hi Kellin, it's Kellin right? We spoke at the party last night." Vic's voice was even more angelic than I remembered in my slight tipsy state.

Keep it together Kellin, this guy has a girlfriend and you deserve better than that. Don't be fooled by Vic's goddamn gorgeous face.

"Yes, it's Kellin. Nice to see you again." I nodded and gave him a small smile before turning my back to him.

I felt bad for brushing Vic off like that and was almost about to cave and try to talk to him, when the person in front of me turned around.

"Kellin? I thought I recognized your voice. I'm Alan, we have English Lit together." a tall guy with long ginger hair smiled at me.

I remembered Alan. He was a freshman like me and was a third string on the soccer team with Vic. He was cute, not as beautiful as Vic but very cute. He had tattoos littered up his arms and bright green eyes.

"Yes of course I know you, Alan. Hi" I smiled back at him.

"I've been meaning to strike up the nerve to ask you all week, but would you like to come with me to the dorm party tonight? A delicious thing like you is hard to resist." Alan grinned.

I felt my face flare up, trying to hide the smile creeping up my face. I didn't think it would be this easy to meet a guy in college. Here I was talking to a cute and bold guy who wanted to take ME out. No secret girlfriends in sight. Just a normal, gay guy interested in another gay guy. I didn't want to mess up my shot at my first real date.

"I'd love to go to the party with you." I responded.

"Wonderful. I'll pick you up at 9:00." Alan's eyes trailed up my body as he turned and walked away with his food.

I smiled, giving myself a little fist bump on my shoulder. Jack would be so proud. I have a date. I have a real date with another guy. I grabbed my sandwich and turned to head back to my table. My friends greeted me with hugs and smiles when I told them the news about Alan.

Lunch was nearing the end when I stood up to throw away my food and was met with Vic's gaze. He was staring right at me and looked as white as a ghost. I looked away quickly and followed my friends out of the dining hall, not wanting to think about or see Vic at all for the rest of the day.

______________________ a few hours later - TRIGGER WARNING _______________________

I was fixing my hair in the mirror when I heard a knock on Jack and I's door. I stood back and looked at my reflection. I was wearing black skinny jeans with rips in the knees, a simple white t-shirt and my black jean jacket. Jack said that black was a power color and it would make my blue eyes pop.

I opened up the door and was met with a grinning Alan. He looked hot tonight, I had to admit that. He was wearing a red leather jacket over a black t-shirt and dark grey skinny jeans; he held out a bouquet of blue cosmo flowers.

"These are for you. I tried to find flowers that were as beautiful as your eyes but that task was deemed impossible." Alan smiled.

"Thank you so much, Alan. They're absolutely gorgeous." I bit my lip and placed the flowers gently on my bed.

"Are you ready for the party?" Alan asked, his eyes dancing with flirtation.

"Oh, of course." I responded and took his outstretched hand, following him up two floors to where the party was being held.

The music was bumping and the entire dorm was squeezed into one floor. You could tell that the bulk of the people were freshman with how sloppy everyone was. I noticed Jack, Jenna, and Oli across the dancefloor and waved at them.

Alan pulled me onto the dancefloor and spun me around so I was pressed up against him. He handed me a beer and took a sip of the one in his hand. He started swaying back and forth with his arms secured tightly around my waist. I never danced like this before, let alone danced this close to another guy before.

Time seemed to stop when Alan and I were on the dancefloor. I finally felt free. I didn't care who was watching or what people were thinking. I felt like I could be myself and I didn't want this feeling to end.

Alan suddenly grabbed my hand and started pulling me through the crowd of sweaty bodies. He led me out a door and down a stairwell.

"Alan, where are we going?" I asked, feeling dizzy.

The second we got out of the loud and busy party room, my mind started to drift off. I felt tired and weak and unaware of my surroundings. I couldn't feel my legs and it scared me.

Alan continued pulling me down the stairs and out of the building. He suddenly pressed me up against the brick wall and started kissing down my neck.

"Do you have any idea how hot you are?" He spoke into my ear. His breath felt hot on my skin and I tried to push him away.

"Alan.. I.." I felt my mind drift off, my limbs weak.

Alan's lips moved to mine and he started kissing me furiously, one hand gripping the side of my head, the other tightly holding my waist. I struggled against his grasp, trying to push him away.

"Alan... stop. I don't want to do this." I heard myself say.

But Alan didn't stop.

"You have no idea how badly I want you, Kellin." Alan started to undo his pants.

"N-no. No....." I stammered out in a whisper, my vision blurring.

I felt Alan's hands turn me around harshly, my chest was pressed against the brick wall and my head was turned to the side, my cheek rubbing against the harsh wall. I felt him trying to pull my pants down as tears streamed down my face. I closed my eyes and felt myself slipping into darkness, wanting nothing but to be dead.

I felt Alan yank my pants down when suddenly the weight of his body was no longer pressed against mine. I collapsed onto the cold, wet grass and looked behind me, shakingly pulling my pants back up.

Alan was on the ground and Vic was on top of him, punching him.

Punching him over and over and over again. All I could see was red. Red coming from every crevice of Alan's face. I curled up in a ball and cried.

The sound of Vic's fist crushing into Alan's face stopped after what felt like an eternity. I flinched in fear as I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, it's me, Vic. I'm here. You're safe now." Vic's warm and gentle voice spoke softly.

"Is it ok if I pick you up?" Vic asked.

I nodded and wiped the tears from my eyes.

Vic bent down and scooped me up in his arms, wedding style, holding me close to his warm body. I slung my arms weakly around his neck and cried into this chest. I felt his hand soothingly running through my hair as he carried me across the dark campus.

We made it to my dorm and Vic let us in. He walked me over to my bed and set me on it gently. I still kept floating in and out of consciousness and my head felt so heavy. I didn't even notice that Vic was sitting on the edge of my bed holding a set of pajamas.

"Is it alright if I help you get changed into comfy clothes? I'll keep my eyes closed, promise." Vic spoke.

I nodded and let Vic help me change. My limbs felt like they didn't work. I couldn't even feel it when Vic lifted up different body parts to help guide the pajamas on. I kept my eyes on him and he didn't open his eyes the entire time, not even once. After he helped me change, he scooped my legs up so he could drape my fluffy comforter up to my neck.

"Did... did he...?" Vic's voice shook.

I shook my head. "Almost. If you didn't come when you did... I....He..." my voice trailed off as tears poured from my eyes.

"Kellin, he will never come near you again. He will be arrested and expelled." Vic spoke.

"Pancakes." I heard myself say.

"What?" Vic asked gently.

"Pancakes. My mom always makes them for me after a bad day." I whispered.

Vic's eyes filled with tears that he quickly wiped away and reached in my mini fridge, handing me a water bottle.

"Drink some of this and try to get some sleep. I'll make sure nothing ever happens to you again. I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner." Vic reached forward slowly, leaning over me to look into my eyes.

Vic started to leave and I sat up quickly, feeling my pulse quicken.

"Vic! Wait!" I gasped.

Vic spun around quickly and looked at me in panic.

"Can... can you stay with me? I.. I'm afraid." I whispered.

Vic nodded and walked back over to my side of the room. He pulled over Jack's big gaming chairs, sitting in one and propping his feet up on another. I handed him one of my pillows and he nestled it behind his head, closing his eyes.

I noticed Vic's hand laying on the edge of my bed. Needing comfort, I used the last of my energy to reach my hand over and place it on top of his.

"Thank you." I spoke ever so softly as I drifted off, feeling Vic's thumb gently rubbing my hand as my tear encrusted eyes finally closed.

_________Authors Note__________

This was a really heavy chapter. I apologize for making Alan the bad guy! I didn't want Oli to be the bad guy again!

I'd love to hear your feedback! Please remember to vote if you're enjoying!

- Cassidy