Hisham stared at his sister from across the table, a slight frown on his face. He, Ilham, Hana and the children were eating dinner, and while the children were keeping up a steady chatter about their day, he wasn’t really listening, focusing instead on the sad look on Hana’s face.

She had become increasingly more distant and quiet as of late, to the point where even the children had noticed. Layla had come to him the day before to ask him what she could do to make Khaltu Hana happy again.

He hated to see his sister anything but happy, but before he could help her out, he needed to figure out what was wrong, although he was pretty sure he had an idea what it was. The only difference that had occurred in the past month or so was that Houssam had come back into their lives and had struck up this friendship with Hana.

At first Hisham hadn’t minded, after all, Houssam was four years older than Hana, and there didn’t seem to be any partiality on the part of either one of them. However after Ilham had pointed out that she thought Hana might have feelings for Houssam, he had been paying strict attention when the two were around each other, and it was painfully obvious to him that his sister not only liked Houssam, but she was hurting over it. There was only one solution other than telling Houssam of her feelings, which he wouldn’t do because the man seemed to honestly just see her as a friend, and even though it would be hard for him, he had to do what he had to do as a big brother.

“Habibi you okay?” Ilham asked and he looked up at her startled to realize everyone at the table was staring at him.

“Yes of course. I was just remembering something I have to do tomorrow. So how was your day Hana? How goes watching Kareem?”

Hana smiled.

“It’s good MashaAllah. He’s such a cutie, every day brings a new adventure!”

Hisham smiled.

“How’s Houssam?”

Hisham’s stomach dropped as Hana’s face colored. There was no denying it now.

“Good Alhamdulillah.”

“Baba! Guess what I did today!” Layla exclaimed, and as Hisham turned his attention to his daughter, he watched Hana out of the corner of his eye, observing the sad frown on her face, and he was determined to talk to her about it. After they had finished eating, he told Ilham he was just going to walk Hana to her car, and after they stepped outside, he linked his arm through Hana’s and began to walk towards her bug.

“So habibti, why are you sad?”

“I’m not sad Hisham.”

“Hana,” he said warningly.

“Hisham,” she replied without missing a beat, a smile on her face.

“It hasn’t escaped any of our notice that you seem to get sadder by day. What is it? Did someone hurt you?”

She was silent, staring out into the night, before turning to face him.

“Sometimes you have lows in life, and it’s okay as long as you don’t stay there. Sometimes talking about them isn’t the best thing you just have to wait out the storm.”

“But sometimes there are people who care about you who want to listen to you and help you.” He said gently, and she smiled up at him.

“Thank you Hisham. And really if I thought you could help me I would tell you. But,” she hesitated for a second, “but it’s something I have to overcome with the help of Allah swt. No one can help me.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

He turned to face her, removing his arm from hers.

“Okay. I will leave it be. But just remember that no one should have the power to take away your happiness. The second you let someone control your emotions, you have given them the control to hurt you, and the only way to take that power back, to be able to stand on your own two feet again, is to know your worth. To know the amazing things you deserve.”

***

Hana stood in the front of her classroom, writing the review questions on the board. It was a quiet day, the students would be there in about half an hour, and the rain was falling softly outside creating a cozy atmosphere. She had gotten to the Masjid early with Layla and Dawud, because one again she had found herself behind in her class lesson plans because she had been so engrossed with the newspaper. It would make its debut that Friday, and to say she was panicking was an understatement. They had all been working quite diligently, and it was a good production if she did say so herself.

It was nice to have a distraction to work on. Granted it would have been a better distraction if he wasn’t actually on her team, but what could she do? He was a hard worker and a good writer, and she couldn’t exactly kick him off. He was a volunteer, you couldn’t fire volunteers.

It was bad enough she saw him twice a week. They still had another two months of Yusra’s treatments to get through before she could escape his company. Part of her wished that she had never volunteered to begin with, and more than once it had been on the tip of her tongue to tell Yusra that she quit. But she couldn’t do that to her, she really did love Yusra and Amir like her own family, and little Kareem had stolen her heart. She would just have to grin and bear it.

Allah knew she had been doing it for years.

Her brother’s speech the night before had rattled her slightly. She wondered if he knew of her feelings, and she had been so close to telling him, but at the last second she had lost her nerve. He had given excellent advice, but if only she could take it. It was so much harder to know what you had to do, and to do it.

As she continued to write the questions that the kid’s would have to answer once class started, she heard footsteps approaching the room, and before she could turn around and see who it was, Layla had jumped from her seat, and was hurling herself towards the front of the room.

“Amu Houssam!” she cried, and Hana resisted the urge to groan. He was everywhere! She couldn’t catch a break! For a guy who was trying to hide from the paparazzi, he sure had no trouble showing up everywhere!

“Hello Lulu!” He exclaimed, and when Hana finally did turn around, her heart began to beat erratically. He had has hair down, and it was dripping slightly from the rain outside. He was wearing a leather jacket that fit his broad shoulders well, and in one arm he held Layla, and in the other he had a tray of to go cups. “Hey Dawud!” he exclaimed nudging the little boy’s chair with his toe. Dawud, who was engrossed in his Gameboy, waved at Houssam, his eyes never leaving the screen. As Houssam strolled over to her, her heart went into overtime beating so fast it was almost painful. “Salaam Hana.” He said a bit cautiously, and she couldn’t exactly blame him. She had barely spoken to him since the whole awkward encounter with Kalthoum in the Masjid kitchen.

“Walaikumasalaam.” She responded, and he put Layla down on the floor, before turning his gaze back to her face.

“How are you?”

“I’m good Alhamdulillah.” She took a deep breath. “And you?”

His teeth flashed in a smile.

“Great Alhamdulillah. I brought you something.” He said extending one of the cups towards her. “One soy latte, no foam, with,” he paused to pull out a few packets of sugar from his pocket, “two sugars.” As she took the warm cup in her hands, she looked at him in confusion.

“How did you know that’s what I drink?”

He gave a shrug.

“I remember you had it once when you came to watch Kareem.”

She glanced down at the floor, her cheeks flushing slightly. Why was he so nice!? It was killing her?! Part of her longed for the days when he didn’t know who she was and called her Hanan!

“Well, um thanks.” She said and he raised his own cup in her direction, taking a sip as he perched himself on the edge of her desk.

“No problem. It was my pleasure.”

There was a silence in the room as she just stood there awkwardly, the hot beverage making her cheeks flush. Okay maybe it had more to do with the six foot nine inch man that sat on her desk.

“Can I help you with something?” she asked and his eyes widened slightly.

“Oh. Am I bothering you?”

She hesitated, tracing the rim of her coffee cup. It seemed the harder she tried to stay away from him, the more he was around. It was almost as if it troubled him that she was pulling away and she couldn’t understand why. Why would he care? He liked her best friend, he shouldn’t want to be around Hana.

It’s wasn’t fair.

“Um, I’m just trying to get ready for class.”

He was silent for a second, before he stood up, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“Yeah of course. Um, I’ll just go. Sorry to have bothered you.” He pushed back a lock of hair out of his eyes, and her heart went out at the frown on his face. He made it halfway to the doorway before she followed him.

“Houssam wait. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound rude.”

“It’s cool.” He said with a shrug, but she didn’t miss the hurt that flashed across his eyes.

“No I’m sorry. Really. You were nice enough to think of me and bring me this coffee.”

“It’s fine Hana. I know you’re working, I shouldn’t have bothered you.”

“You aren’t a bother.” She said softly, and he hesitated in the doorway.

“Thanks.”

“Look if you are okay with it I do want to do the interview with you.”

“Oh. Yeah I’m not so sure about that.” He said, running a hand through his hair.

“What happened to you being so excited the other day?” she asked in surprise, and he flushed slightly.

“Um, yeah well the circumstances being how they were at the time…”

Despite her knowing exactly what the ‘circumstances’ were, she had to smile at how uncomfortable he looked.

“Come on,” she pleaded, and he groaned.

“Aw Hana I don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’ve done countless interviews and they always twist things up.”

“What happened to trusting me? Or was that just part of your ruse in the kitchen?” she asked, and he flushed deeper, scowling at her.

“No of course I trust you.” He mumbled.

“I’ll let you read it before I publish it. I promise.” She said, wondering why she was pushing him so hard for this. She wanted to get away from him, not have to talk to him more! But she honestly was interested in his story. Even if she hadn’t been desperately in love with him, he truly was amazing.

“Okay. Okay fine. I can’t say no to you.” He said with a flash of his teeth.

“Okay. Maybe tomorrow before class we can meet?”

“Sounds good.”

“Alright so I should go finish preparing.” She said pointing at the board.

“Yeah sure. You’ll tell me when you want to meet to start?”

“InshaAllah.”

“Awesome! I’ll see you later then?”

“Yes InshaAllah. Are we good now?” she asked, and the cooked grin came back full force.

“Perfect.” He raised his cup towards her again, before sauntering out of the room, and Hana quickly tore her eyes away, wondering how in the heck she managed to arrange to spend more time with him when she was already drowning in her feelings as it was.

“Khaltu?” Layla asked tugging on her sleeve.

“Yes habibti?”

“Are you okay?”

“Of course. Why do you ask?”

“Your face is all red!”

***

Houssam lay across the exercise machine, letting out a deep breath as he lifted the weights over his head again. He had been in the gym for about two hours now, and he still hadn’t worked off all of his agitation. Granted it had served as a distraction as he hadn’t been keeping up with his exercise regime as often as he should have, and his muscles were in agony.

Coach would kill him if he ever found out.

But Hana’s words still stung him. Even though she had tried to gloss over it before he left, she had practically dismissed him. He had tried to convince himself that it was just because she was trying to prepare for class, but he knew better. He knew her better. There was definitely something wrong with her, and he wished she could confide in him.

He set the weights back in their place and sat up, wincing at the burn that was racing through his arms and shoulders. It had been a few weeks since he had really pushed himself, and despite his wounded feelings, he did feel a little better. As he climbed off the machine, avoiding the gaze of the gawking people around him, only a handful of them had been brave enough to approach him for autographs, he dabbed at his face with a towel, before approaching where his gym bag sat on one of the benches, and as he heard it vibrating, he reached inside, smiling as he saw a text from Hisham.

Salaam bro. Hana’s phone is on the fritz, she wants to know if you can meet today after Asr at the Masjid?

Houssam thumbs flew over the screen.

Sounds good InshaAllah! Thanks bro!

No problem, came Hisham’s reply, can we chat for a few minutes beforehand?

Houssam frowned slightly, wondering what Hisham wanted.

Yeah of course. I’ll see you soon.

As Asr came in in forty five minutes, he hurriedly showered, before changing. As he came out, a few more people had ventured enough courage to ask him for pictures and autographs, and he made it to the Masjid with only five minutes to spare before the Iqama. Once they had said their salaams, he went outside the Musalla, pulling on his shoes, intending on going up to the library to meet with Hana. But as promised, Hisham approached him, his smile not meeting his eyes.

“Salaam bro.” he said giving Houssam a quick hug before stepping back and motioning for Houssam to walk.

“Walaikumasalaam,” Houssam said falling into step with his friend.

"How are things?"

"Alhamdulillah they are good."

Hisham nodded absently.

"Good, good."

"What’s up Hisham?” Houssam asked as a small silence passed between them, 

Hisham cleared his throat, keeping his eyes fixed on the floor.

“Look I think it’s nice that you are working on the newspaper and it’s great of you to help Hana out,”

“But?” Houssam prompted after a few seconds, and Hisham nodded.

“But I don’t want you talking to her alone outside of the Masjid.”

Houssam stilled in his steps, staring at Hisham in astonishment for a solid minute.

“Um, what do you mean?”

“I don’t mind if you meet at the Masjid as long as whatever room you are in has the door opened. But I don’t want you to text her, and if you have to email please cc me.”

Houssam raked a hand through his hair.

“I…I don’t understand Hisham. Did I do something wrong?”

Hisham sighed, his face softening.

“No you didn’t bro. But I cant help notice how often you guys are together or talk and it just isn’t right. Things like this always end in someone getting hurt, and no offense bro, but it will probably be my sister.”

Houssam’s mouth fell open.

“I would never hurt her!”

“I know you wouldn’t purposely. But it’s probably better if you keep your distance. I hope you understand.”

“Um,” Houssam said shifting slightly so he was facing away from Hisham, “yeah of course. Um I’m sorry if I did anything to cause this.”

“No you didn’t. I just have to look out for my sister, just like you’ve looked out for Yusra over the years.” He said quietly, and Houssam nodded absently. A few minutes later, he had left, and Houssam trudged up to the library, a weird feeling in his stomach.