We don't get to choose what hurts people. We don't get to look at someone and tell them they don't have the right to be upset or hurt or angry. We don't get to choose how others will feel because of us.
And our purpose should never be to hurt someone else.
But if we do, and we all will, we don't get to tell them they can't be hurt. All we get to do is either sincerely apologize or keep believing they shouldn't be hurt.