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Chapter 15

In the cellar on the far north side of the Magnolia estate, there was banging and screaming. Giovanni was resting on the drawing room sofa, having given up on Jessie unlocking the door, when several maids and butlers entered the room, grabbed him, bound him, and blindfolded him at Jessie's command. He kicked and screamed as they dragged him into the cellar with Jessie leading. The steward shouted threats and claims of being above everyone, but his cries only amused the staff, who Jessie let in on the joke.

When they went inside the cellar, a cook brought an old chair for his fellow employees to tie Giovanni's bonds to. They removed Giovanni's blindfold, for the cellar was below ground level, and its windows were closed outside, making it pitch black. The employees tiptoed out of the cellar, and Jessie locked the door, leaving Giovanni alone in the darkness.

For the next few hours, Jessie sat on a bench beside the cellar, reading a book while Giovanni screamed insults and demanded to see Sonia. Jessie then sent an attendant to fetch James and Nando with a message stating it was time. When they arrived, Jesse greeted them with a smile until she noticed James in a foul mood while Nando, still dressed in his priest costume, looked uneasy. Jesse looked at the men, puzzled, having expected them to be giddy for the final step of their prank.

"Gentlemen, what troubles you? Has something happened?" Jesse asked.

"Indeed. We discovered that Duke Satoshi's messenger, Timothy, is a lying, betraying rapscallion," James said. "He's the type of man who fights dirty in duels, denies knowing his friends when they are in trouble and claims not to commit any wrongdoing. What's more is that Sonia continues to be fawning over him. Sir Faba and I tried to explain what a wicked man he is, but she refused to let us make our case. She accused us of being the villains while holding Timothy close."

Jessie stared at James, befuddled with his claims against Satoshi's page. She turned to Nando, who was adjusting his fake beard.

"Is this true?" Jessie asked.

Knowing Jessie trusted him more than James, Nando said, "I have not witnessed anything Sir James and Sir Faba have accused Timothy of. If anything, I've seen them cause trouble more than the man they accuse. Even so, there is something off about the Timothy we last came across, making me worried about our mistress coming to his aid."

Jessie became confused again, wondering what Nando meant by "the Timothy we last came across" before she put it in the back of her mind.

"Well, if what you're saying is true, then we'll have to do something to prove it to Lady Sonia," Jessie said. "In the meantime, let us focus on our prank on a man that we know for a fact is self-centered, boastful, and lustful.

James kept his sour expression until he remembered Giovanni's delusions of grandeur. His frown turned into a devious smirk as he turned to the closed cellar window, where they could faintly hear Giovanni's cries from the other side.

"You're right, Jessie. We should focus on one villain at a time," James said. "Sonia may hate me right now, but if I can't deal with Timothy, I can at least do my duty as a caring cousin to punish one who craves nothing but her status and body. Perhaps if Sonia learns of our prank, she could be grateful for her steward being put in his place."

"I seriously doubt that. With her kind heart, Lady Sonia would most likely be displeased with how far we've gone, whether Giovanni deserves it or not," Jessie said. "Regardless, we've left Giovanni alone long enough. Nando, begin your performance."

Nando nodded and did vocal warm-ups before he walked to the cellar window. He opened the window, and Giovanni turned to the light coming from it. Giovanni hoped Sonia was coming to his rescue until Nando appeared as a bearded priest. The butler's look of hope melted into a glare, immediately thinking his fellow servants sent a priest to exorcize him.

"Greetings. I am Sir Topas the Priest," Nando said. "I am here to visit Giovanni the Lunatic. I assume you are the demonized man?"

"There is no Giovanni the Lunatic. I am as sane as can be," Giovanni said. "If you wish to be of any worth, you will send my lady, Sonia, and -"

"Out! Out, you wicked devil!" Nando shouted. "See how you're hurting this man! Can't you talk about anything but ladies?! You fill him with ungodly thoughts about virtuous women!"

Jessie and James snickered, loving that Nando was secretly calling Giovanni out on his lust.

"There is no demon in me! I have been falsely accused of being mad when I am in my right mind!" Giovanni shouted. "It's my lady's staff you must draw your attention to. They left me here in this horrible darkness."

"Oh, shame on you, dishonorable Satan! I address you with moderate language, for I'm one of those courteous people who will be polite even to the devil himself," Nando said. "Did you say that this house is dark?"

"Dark as hell itself," Giovanni said.

"Then the devil inside you must feel right at home. That means the demon is in a comfortable position, letting its guard down before I cast it out, yet I'm not convinced it is so," Nando said. "The place you're confined in has bay windows as transparent as walls, and the upper windows facing toward the south-north are as clear as ebony. And you're complaining about darkness and a bad view?"

"Upper windows facing toward the south-north? Clear as ebony? What the devil are you talking about, you brainless priest?" Giovanni asked. "I am not mad, and this place is dark!"

"You, madman, are wrong. I say that there's no darkness but ignorance, and you're more ignorant than the Egyptians during Moses' plague of fog," Nando said.

"And I say that this place is as dark as ignorance, and ignorance is as dark as hell itself. And I say that no man has ever been abused like I've been," Giovanni said. "I'm no more crazy than you are. Ask me any question, and I'll prove my sanity."

"Very well. I shall ask a question any sane man would answer instantly," Nando said. "Only one color, but not one size. Stuck at the bottom, yet easily flies. Present in the sun, but not in the rain. Doing no harm and feeling no pain. What is it?"

The cellar became silent after Nando asked his question. Jessie and James looked at each other, unsure if they had heard Nando correctly. Nando fought the urge to smirk while Giovanni stared at him, for he knew the proud steward was never one for riddles. After half a minute, Giovanni's confusion turned into anger, and he tried to get to the window to strangle Nando despite being bound to the chair.

"A question any man could answer in an instant? What ridiculous nonsense!" Giovanni barked. "My lady's cousin and her lowly attendants think I'm demon-possessed, and yet a so-called priest says incoherent sentences. Get rid of your own evil spirits before you accuse a man as great as I of going mad!"

Nando gasped dramatically and said, "Oh, lord, save me. The demon inside this man is more stubborn than I thought. Not only does this man lack the sanity to answer a simple question, but the demon would twist a man to the point that he would accuse a holy man of being demon-possessed? I'm afraid this poor soul is beyond my abilities. Remain in the darkness, you wicked spirit. I shall pray unceasingly for your host."

Giovanni's eyes widened as he realized his words recklessly made it sound more plausible that he had gone mad. His heart sank as Nando closed the window, covering the cellar in complete darkness again. Jesse and James laughed as Giovanni began screaming again, apologizing to Nando's character and begging to open the window again. Nando returned to his friends, pleased with his handiwork, and James gave him a firm handshake.

"Bravo. Bravo. A magnificent performance, good sir," James praised.

"Indeed. Quick wit was just what was needed for the full extent of my plan," Jessie said. "Your riddle was a nice touch. It showed that our proud victim is a bigger fool than we realize."

"If you find my performance so grand, you haven't seen anything yet," Nando said as he removed his beard and robe. "With permission from the mastermind, I shall come to him again as myself to further give the impression that everyone thinks he's mad."

"Permission granted. Let Giovanni's torment worsen before he learns that we are behind everything," Jessie said.

Nando nodded and took a moment to prepare for his performance. He then began walking to the cellar window again, mimicking his guitar to make it sound like he was passing by playing. Jessie and James snickered before Jessie sushed James just as Nando began to sing.

Hey, Robin, jolly Robin,

Tell me how your lady is.

My lady is unkind indeed.

Alas, why is she like this?

She loves another man—Who's that shouting?

Giovanni continued to shout before he recognized Nando's voice. He looked at the window, and his face lit up with hope. As Nando passed by the window, Giovanni stomped his feet and shouted to get Nando's attention.

"Fool! Nando the Fool!" Giovanni roared. "I command you as your superior to come to my aid at once!"

Nando stopped singing and put his hand on his chin, pretending to wonder if he heard something. He turned to the window and then to Jessie and James with his hands on his cheeks as if to silently say, "Now, who could that be?" Jessie and James covered their mouths to hide their giggles as Nando opened the window and pretended to be surprised to find Giovanni inside.

"Why, Giovanni. So this is where you've been," Nando said.

"Good fool, I'll certainly reward you if you'll help me get a candle, a pen, ink, and paper," Giovanni said. "I swear on my word as a gentleman that I'll always be grateful to you for it."

"I'm afraid your oaths mean nothing to me, dear Giovanni," Nando said. "You are no gentleman. You're just a steward. Worse yet, you are a steward that's demon-possessed. It is a shame you have lost your sanity."

"Fool, no one has ever been abused like I've been. I'm just as sane as you are," Giovanni said.

"Just as sane as me? You must be crazy then if you're no saner than a fool," Nando mocked.

"Come now, fool. You must aid me," Giovanni said. "The staff have treated me like their property here, kept me in the darkness, and done all they can to drive me insane by pretending I am insane,"

"Ah, but there's no denying that you are insane. The Lord commanded that one must have two to three witnesses to make your case, and you presented your insanity to Lady Sonia, Sir James, Jessie, and myself. That makes four people witnessing that demon possessing you. You have nothing but your own words to counter us," Nando said. "And besides, Sir Topas the Priest instructed us not to speak to you lest we get scolded. You must be patient until the demon leaves you."

"If there are such things as demons, I can testify that I am not driven mad by one," Giovanni said.

"But how do you know you're not possessed by a demon if you don't even believe they exist?" Nando asked. "Now that I think about it, your disbelief must've made it easy for the demon to pick you as its prey. It knew you wouldn't say your prayers to rebuke it because you don't believe in its kind."

"Fool! Demons or no demons, I'm as sane as any man in Kanto!" Giovanni barked. "Now, help me find a candle and some paper, and then deliver the letter I'll write to my lady. You'll be better rewarded for delivering this letter than you've ever been rewarded before."

"That is quite the claim, but I will not be tempted. Demons will say anything to be free and cause terror wherever they go. Same for a man who has gone mad without a demon," Nando said.

"I am not mad! I am telling you the truth!" Giovanni screamed. "I am as sane as I am handsome, virtuous, and craved by Countess Sonia Magnolia! You will believe me! I command it!"

"Nay, I'll never believe a madman until he's dead, and I can see his brains," Nando said. "I'll bring a candle, paper, and ink, but I won't give them to you until you can describe what a shadow is."

"Describe a shadow?! I'll describe my wrath against you for defying me!" Giovanni roared. "No witty remarks to amuse my lady will save you from being forced to grovel at my feet while she massages my shoulders and kisses my head!"

Nando yelped, pretending to be frightened, and shouted, "God, help me! The demon wants to beat me and have my mistress as his sex slave! Oh, why didn't I listen to the priest and leave this fellow alone? Sorry, steward, but you are on your own! May God show pity to your unbelieving soul!"

Giovanni's face fell as he realized his anger got the better of him again. Before he could utter a word, Nando slammed the window shut and ran through the grass to make it look like he ran in fear. The steward whimpered with his mouth hanging a gape, thinking he ruined his chance for freedom.

"FOOL! FOOL, COME BACK!" Giovanni screamed. "I'M SORRY I SCARED YOU! I SWEAR MY TEMPER GOT THE BETTER OF ME! NOT A DEMON! PLEASE, LET ME OUT! MY LADY MUST BE WORRIED SICK WITH HER SECRET LOVE MISSING! COME BACK AND I'LL ABSOLVE YOU WHEN I'M COUNT! I'M NOT MAD! I'M NOT MAD!!!"

Giovanni screamed so loud that he couldn't hear Jessie and James laughing. They ran to catch up with Nando just as he sat on one of the benches beside a fountain to catch his breath. The pranksters sat down and laughed until their sides were sore. Jessie leaned her head on James's shoulder as tears ran down her face.

"I don't know what's funnier. Him still screaming he isn't mad or that he still thinks Sonia's in love with him," James chortled.

"I have my favorite part of the joke. I gave him the answer to my riddle and he doesn't know it," Nando said.

"How so?" Jessie asked.

"The answer to my riddle is a shadow. A shadow only has one color but no size. It sticks to the bottom yet easily flies, and can appear in the sun but not in the rain. A shadow can do no harm nor feel any pain," Nando explained. "And when I came as myself, I said I would do what he asked if he described what a shadow is. If he knew my first question was a riddle and thought about other things than himself, he might've had a chance to figure it out. Now, he's left thinking Tobas the Priest and Nando the Fool were speaking nonsense to him, not knowing that they are the same people and that he gave both the question and the answer to the riddle."

Jessie and James laughed harder with James slapping his knee and Jessie wiping a tear from her eye.

"Well, whatever the case, It's clear that we've reached the full extent of our prank," James said. "Personally, I want this foolishness to be over soon. I'm in so much trouble with my cousin that I can't safely pursue this prank any longer"

"In that case, I'll arrange for the maids to release him in a couple of hours. Then he can meet with Lady Sonia and discover everything was done according to my design," Jessie said, her head held high in pride. "With that in mind, gentlemen, I declare that it is time for you to give my reward for conducting my ingenious scheme."

Nando's eyes widened, and he jumped out of his seat to bow to Jessie with his hands above his head.

"Yes, yes, and thrice, yes!" Nando exclaimed. "All hail Jessie: Queen of Pranks! Long may you reign! Your accomplishment will be remembered for years to come!"

"Long live the Queen of Pranks," James agreed. "And now, it is time to deliver you your second reward."

Jessie turned to James and opened her mouth to ask what he meant before James touched her cheek and pressed his lips against hers. Nando froze mid-bow, stupefied as though James kissed a literal queen without her consent. Jessie's eyes shrank to the size of grains of salt, and she remained still even after James pulled back. It took several seconds before Jessie snapped out of her daze and glared at a smiling James.

"What the devil possessed you to do that?!" she shrieked.

"I'm merely fulfilling my second promise," James said, unfazed. "I said that after completing your plan, I would also declare you the Queen of my Heart. That kiss was to seal the deal."

Jessie scoffed and said, "You are unbelievable, Jamison Tobias Doogie Brian Cathcart. Your daily drinking truly messed with your brain this time."

"And what proof do you have that I have been drinking?" James asked. "Did you detect any wine or ale when I did what I should've done years ago?"

Jessie opened her mouth but stopped before she uttered a word. She looked away from James in thought, and her face fell as she realized there was no taste of alcohol in his breath. Nando looked at Jessie and then at James as it hit him that he hadn't seen James drink since their party the night before. Jessie turned to James again, and his smile grew, knowing his point was made.

"You've been resisting the urge to drink like you said," Jessie said.

"I told you I'd give it a shot for you," James said. "And it's high time we stop holding back on our feelings. If you agree, then come to the chapel with me."

Jessie and Nando stared at James, taken aback by his boldness. Jessie's cheeks flared as she imagined her and James indulging in expressing their feelings after bottling them up for many years. Yet, Sonia's lady-in-waiting couldn't deny that her heart desired James to make a bold move for so long. With a smile, Jessie scooted closer to James and returned his kiss.

"I will go," Jessie said before turning to Nando. "And you shall be our witness."

Nando's face lit up, and he sprung out of his seat, saying, "I would be honored to witness my two friends make this momentous step in their lives. Let us make haste. The Queen of Pranks' wedding beckons."

Jessie and James laughed at how their friend used the bride's new title. Hand in hand, the new couple stood up from the bench and began making their way to the front gate. Nando danced around them like a child to express his excitement. Jessie rested her head on James' shoulder as they walked, relishing the moment. After so many years of working to help Sonia and her family be happy, the countess' lady-in-waiting was ready to achieve her happiness with her childish yet sincere knight.

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