Ibadan, August 2014.

Pamela.

"Bebe, bebe, baby, I missh you so bad Liz," I pouted and deliberately slurring my words to look cute.

I called to tell her about seeing her ketchup incident patient and how he was surprisingly rich and still as annoying as ever.

"I miss you too darling I'll call you tomorrow okay?" She replied. Her voice was soothing, I don't know if it was because of her profession.

"So you are really not going to give me any gist about that psycho?" I asked again.

"Nope" she replied adamantly.

"Stubborn goat," I returned.

"Inquisitive fowl." I chuckled lowly and the driver shot me a glance through the rearview mirror.

"Are you okay?" I asked now as I remembered the text she sent me yesterday. She was starting to go for counselling since she was cutting. Liz made cuts on her body, saying the physical pain relieves the one deep inside. It scares me every time she's in that dark place. The inner parts of her thigh was filled with random scars.

Liz and I hit off well. When Shayo my sister died, I was angry. I was angry at her for so long it was hard to let go and grieve. Shayo had it easy, the banging body, parents love, boys at her beck and call, yet she had to throw it all away on drugs and those riff-raff's she kept falling in love with.

She was coming home from a party, when her drunk boyfriend drove off the road falling off the bridge. I was in my freshman year of college then. She was a straight A student, she could party hard not study so much and still pass unlike me that I have to put in my very best.

I was called to the morgue to come and identify her body.  Shayo's was so bloated I could barely recognise her. Death by drowning was a horrible way to die, her skin was purplish and blue and her eyes was just empty.

For weeks I did not shed a singe tear, why mourn someone who threw their life away at the every turn? After her death, I went back to Ibadan from college for a while, I couldn't understand why my parents mourned her deeply, the apple of their eyes was gone.

Even though Shayo choose to be irresponsible, I couldn't get her picture of her lying on that gurney out of my head. I drove my self into studying and going the other path until I met Liz.

She looked at me one day after I was being so rude on a queue and said "Drop the act and stop being so strong, your eyes are clouded with hurt, it is making you bulldoze through life." She did it so calmly that I staggered out of that shop and finally felt my heart consumed with grief, nothing could fill her space in my life.

Liz followed me outside and invited me to her car where all I did was cry while she held me. I think she saw the pain I hid deep down, because she hid hers so well also.

She sat as I explained how she looked when i went to the mortuary, how horrible I felt always having to lie to my parents on her behalf, how Shayo will always tease me saying, "lighten up baby the light of your life is here", flipping her hair back like she was Godzilla.

I miss her so bad, even today after meeting that cold hearted, perverted prick, all I wanted was for her to breeze in and say something crazy.

The thing with loss is it gets lighter down the road but the pain never truly leaves. Sometimes even the slightest thing reminds us. On some days it doesn't hurt so bad and at other times, even the most unrelated thing reminds you of your loss. Grief never comes straight at you, it hits you when you least expect it. In your darkest moments, in your happiest moments, reminding you of all the things that could or might have been.

Shayo and Deji, my younger brother were close, almost like they were twins who got born six years apart. He took it so hard when she passed.

Dr Andrews driver finally dropped me in front of my house. It was almost night when we got back he from the impromptu share holders meting. Lagos to Ibadan expressway traffic was no joke. I was so tired and hungry. I was waving the driver good night when I saw a shadow trying to creep in over the fence.

I sneaked upon him and quickly held up my pepper spray up. I've been mugged twice in the States and I hate the feeling of helplessness.  I wonder why people thought there was no crime over there and it was all bed of roses.

The recipient of my attack let out loud strings or wails "Haaaa, yeeeh, yeeeeepa, my eyes o egbami(save me) o" he turned to face me and it was Deji's screech that was piercing the  quiet night, the pepper spray doing its job adequately.

Oh wow! I wasn't aware we had flying fence abilities now. I clearly haven't keyed into my genes. The barbed coils of wire in that section was empty, making scaling so easy. He must have prepared in advance.

"Bro what is it" I saw Tito running to him from over the fence. You know that good for nothing relation, that all family has. Tito was our own, he is my age mate, at twenty four, he was in 200level after been suspended twice and even expelled in the University or Lagos. I heard he was in one private school now.

"Ah! Temitope you are back from school." His pupils were dilated and his voice was surprisingly high. Tito's was likely on the local weed called Igbo or some mixture of sorts. He looked clearly intoxicated.

"No o, you are seeing my ghost presently, enter the house both of you," I let out a hiss making sure to drag out the hiss as long as I could to show my displeasure, It was an innate Nigerian thing.

"I need water to wash my face" Deji whimpered. I moved towards the gate banging it with my left fist the other was clutching my bag tightly while I kept staring at Tito who leaned over the fence.

Immediately the sleepy gate man opened the brown gate we all trudged in. He didn't even say anything about Tito and Deji.

Immediately we got in, Deji who was dancing on his face shot straight for the tap in the garage used to wash cars.

I went inside to get him milk for his eyes. Milk was better than water in relieving the burn. Slowly he was beginning to feel relieved.

"Oladeji ni bo lon lo( where are you going)?" I stammered out in Yoruba. My Yoruba was a little disjointed after six years abroad.

"Ehm" Deji scratched his head first thinking of a lie, I already knew the low was going to sound stupid.

"I was just going somewhere with bro Tito o, he said he needed help." Deji wiped his face with the edge of his clothes and I felt like slapping the lie out of his mouth. Yup, I was right the lie did sound stupid.

"Help at past 12 in the morning, I look like ode(fool) abi? or you think I'm acting Chinese film? You think you can make up one ridiculous thing and I'll swallow it because you must have fried all the water in your brain." I shouted.

"Chillax sis, we were going for a smoke" Tito finally broke in. His nasal voice boomed in the now quiet sitting room.

God punish you there.

"Hold up bro! I'm not your sis, and you are already in high realm. We should just start calling you your Royal Highness, if not you will know that opening your gutter like Bulccal cavity to speak to me when I wasn't speaking to you, is a foolish idea."I waved my pinkie finger in his face as I spoke.

At this time we were loud enough to have our parents wide awake so they joined us in the sitting room.

"Deji and Tope kilon shele nibi( what's happening here)" my dad said groggily rubbing his eyes as he entered the living room with mom in tow.

"Emi ti bounce o, deji deal with your holy holy people" Tito still had the guts to spit out.

"Ogbeni(mister man) hold on" I dragged  his shirt back, "You walked into my court, Tito you wanna play foul with your life? Sure do you, but you leave my baby brother the hell out of it!" I shouted again not caring about what could happen.

"Get out," this time I shoved him and he swayed around for a while before regaining his balance.

"Mary Amaka what's jonzing your ass na?" He replied in the common Nigerian street language - Pidgin English.

His answer was me slamming the door shut in his face. I turned to face Deji, it is time to tel him the cold truth.

"Shebi you want to die like sister Shayo too, high until you go and drop off bridge right? Or you just want to overdose and run mad? Or be useless to your family and generation? Oga biko continue. Even mad man know say rain dey fall. Igbo(weed) is small, let me get you heroin or cocaine or let me hook me you up on Meth  the upper class of the drug realm. This way you can overdose and meet your end quickly, we can grieve over you and continue living." I hissed then continued, "but I'm not coming to the mortuary to identify your black ass, maybe your cuddling mother will do that this time."

Deji and my mom were crying now, and my father looked forlorn. I just hissed and walked up to my room, life was a bitch and I just served him his share he could either deal or bounce.

*********
Hiyyya, my lovelies, its a long chapter.

What do you think, do you think its better to softly admonish a child or give out the hard bitter truth? I think Deji needed the later lemme know in the comments.

PS- we are all struggling with something be kind always to those around you just like my Lizzy bear.

Are you reading without voting, I swear you are breaking my heart. More on TEMAYO soon, spread some love people.

Love,
Orex😀😁