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After a while, trying to drink away the memory of Elena Gilbert stops working (if he we being honest with himself, it never truly worked in the first place). It's impossible to get her out of his head, and he finds it hindering his hunting, making mistakes and getting himself hurt more and more often. It's been months since he's left Mystic Falls, months since that life, along with the girl, behind. It's something stupid that reminds him of her. Flipping through the channels of his crappy motel television and landing on Grey's Anatomy. When Elena would steal the remote from him, she'd change the channel to that damn show, that conveniently happened to air the same time as Dr. Sexy MD, and the two would argue over which doctor show was better. Seeing it now, playing on the screen, he sat and watched the remainder of the episode, his mind lingering on Elena the entire time.

When it was over, despite his better judgment, he grabbed his phone and stepped outside, to where he knew Sam wouldn't be able to hear him. Waiting on bated breath, he was almost relieved as the phone rang a few times before going to her voicemail. "So, I don't know if you rejected this call.. Wouldn't be too surprised. No reason to answer mine when I haven't answered any of your's, right?" A dark laugh left his lips and he ran a hand through his hair, hoping his words weren't too slurred. "I miss you, Gilbert," he admitted quietly after a long sigh. "I just.. wanted you to know that. It doesn't mean anything, it doesn't change anything.. but what we had.." He swallowed hard, willing himself to stay composed for the rest of his message. "What we had, it meant something. And leaving you behind? One of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I figured you should know." There was another long pause before he continued. "I hope you're doing good. I hope you're happy. Elena, I.." Dean trailed off, hesitating to say the words he wanted to, and Sam's interruption was almost a sign not to. "Dean!" he yelled as he practically stormed out of the hotel room, looking worried that he had lost his brother. Because as much as Dean tried to mask his inner turmoil, Sam could tell that he was hurting, and he always thought he was just going to take off one of these days without telling him. Dean hurried to hang up the phone, leaving Elena to wonder how he was going to finish that sentence.

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6/17/18