For Ivy (and me I guess)
Umm...
I'm not sure how to start this...
Well, I'll start by saying, Hi.
Hi Ivy,
I'm Muffin.
You probably don't know me,
Most people dont.
Only my "Family and friends" know who I am.
But I've heard what your going through,
I've listened to your story from the shadows.
I've watched as you've tried and tried to push through, and...you try even more.
And I know
I know it's hard
You may look a my account and think many things like
"That girl is a complete nutjob."
Yes, you are right
"She has no writing talent."
Also correct
Do i care
not a bit
"She doesn't deserve the live and friends she has, she only is a disapointment."
Though that last one may not be true to some, it feels true to me.
Night after night I think to myself,
"Why am I here,"
"where do I belong,"
"What do I deserve,"
And you know what
I'm not sure
I may seem like a happy, bubbly, excited person
But I'm not
I struggle... every day
There are days I think my parents hate me
I talk to much
I feel my friends don't want to be around me.
I feel as though I'm not good enough
I feel as though I'll never be good enough
I fall
I cry
I scream
I hurt.
I feel
Useless
So I know you Ivy.
But can I say one thing
I stand
I chase
I dream
I try
And I do
I get back up when I fall
I get better
I learn from my experiences
I tell myself every day what I did right
I make MYSELF happy first
What do I want
To be happy
To have good friends
A living family
A talent
But most of all
A purpose
And every day I learn more and more about what it is.
But I can never do that
If I leave.
I am damaged
Really damaged
And I do not let it show
But...
Damage leaves a scar
And scars tell a story all their own
So Ivy, I ask you one question
If you leave,
Leave and don't proudly show your scars
What tells your story?
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