Chapter 21: Emotion

Okay then. Not what I'd expected him to say, and a million questions surged into my head, all of them battling to be asked.

"I thought you didn't date public figures."

A low chuckle rumbled from his chest. "I don't. I was very new to the industry, perhaps a little cocky because of how quickly my career had taken off. She was just starting to make a name for herself at Capital, and I was instantly besotted."

"I can see why. She's beautiful."

"Hm. She's the first and last woman I asked out."

I tipped my head towards him, a playful smile tickling my lips. "Was the rejection really that bad?"

His thumb pinched my shoulder, but his mouth twitched in poorly concealed amusement.

"Actually, she was very nice about it. Said the age difference was one factor, but she would have looked past it if we were both outside the public eye."

"So, the main issue was the publicity it would generate, then?" I asked while mentally trying to calculate Alisha's age.

There were probably only a few years between them. I remembered listening to her on Capital when studying for my final year uni exams. She was a co-presenter back then, but their Drive Time show bore only the name of her male counterpart. How the tables had turned. I'd not heard him mentioned in years, and yet Alisha was one of the brightest stars in radio.

"Yeah." Ed blew out a weary sigh. "She didn't want a relationship that would be scrutinised in the media, which is what always happens when two celebrities date. She also wanted to make sure any career progression was earned from her competency alone, and not because she had a direct line to a singer that every radio station wanted access to."

"Good for her."

"Hm. Story of my life."

I glanced around us, making sure nobody was in earshot, but then kept my words about Lacey cryptic anyway just in case.

"But you did date her."

Ed snorted. "Hardly. I never officially asked her out—it just happened. And then it was all very secretive. It's not a real relationship if you can't be together in public."

Hearing his anguish over struggling to date people reminded me of how we'd met. I'd known I was the convenient option to him—not a celebrity and not a fan, either—and I'd reassured Becca of that time and time again. As the weeks had gone on and we'd got to know one another, I'd accepted that it was no longer about convenience. Regardless of the deception involved, something about our friendship—even if it was just the chemistry—had been real.

"I know I shouldn't complain." He lowered his voice as a security guard strolled by. "I'd hate to feel like my involvement in someone's life was a burden or a source of resentment, even indirectly. But why can't someone just want to date me for me? It's like my name either attracts the wrong ones or scares off the right ones."

"Your life isn't normal, Ed. It's just a sacrifice you have to make. And a small sacrifice considering how privileged you are with the life you lead."

"I know, I know... But I'm nearly twenty-seven. I want to settle down at some point. Is it too much to ask to have a long-term partner and a successful career?"

He was beginning to wallow in self-pity, and as much as I understood his perspective, this wasn't supposed to be a night of sadness. And he also shouldn't be complaining about his lack of a girlfriend to his stand-in girlfriend.

So, I did what I did best with him, and I made light of the situation.

"I think you're being a little dramatic. You asked out one woman. Years ago. I don't think you can draw a reliable conclusion from that single experience. Yeah, she had a valid reason, but not everyone will share her view."

His knee nudged mine, a silent display of gratitude. Despite my best intentions—okay, maybe I hadn't tried that hard—we'd slipped back into our easy conversation, emotional distance between us be damned. It wasn't the worst thing in the world when I was supposed to be playing the role of a loving girlfriend, but it didn't help the clear-cut lines that I'd drawn in my head.

Wanting to steer the chat back on track, I asked, "Has she ever mentioned it since? Alisha?"

Ed tipped his head to the side. "No. Never. She probably gets asked out by people all the time. Wouldn't be surprised if she's forgotten."

Nope. Not rising to that one. Not enabling another self-pity session on one of the biggest nights of his life.

"So get over it, then."

He arched a brow at me. "I am over it. You're the one who brought it up."

"Could have fooled me with the pity party."

One side of his mouth curling upwards, he twisted his body towards mine and shifted closer, the soft fabric of his trousers sliding across my bare legs.

"You know what would cheer me up?" The tips of his fingers grazed the back of my neck. "If my beautiful girlfriend distracted me with her beautiful mouth."

My eyes drifted down to his crotch, and his fingers swiftly slipped from my neck to my chin, tilting my head upwards until our gazes touched. Heat smouldered in his eyes, but a playful glint suggested he was still trying to even the score between us.

"You really do prefer my dick to my mouth, don't you?"

Lips parting in surprise at his candid words, I glanced around us. The auditorium was beginning to fill, but the spaces around us remained empty.

"You know what's really distasteful?" I shot back. "Using your current girlfriend to distract you from women you've liked in the past."

And it would be if that really was what he was doing. But we both knew he had other motives at play.

His smirk evolved into a grin. "You almost sound jealous." His fingers tightened around my chin, drawing my face closer to his as he lowered his voice. "Kiss me, and it'll convince you that I have eyes for nobody but you."

The warmth of his breath floated over my lips as those deep blue eyes clung to mine with a toe-curling intensity, but my heart thudded from his words, not his proximity.

Eyes for nobody but you.

It wasn't real. He was acting. Not only did he have a fantastic poker face, we were in a room of people who needed to believe that Teddy Stone had eyes for nobody but me. But my stupid fucking heart fell for it anyway.

So, as I'd become so accustomed to doing, I shifted my focus from the emotional to the physical. Maybe he was calling my bluff on the kiss, or maybe he actually would have kissed me if I'd called his bluff on it. We both knew that if either of us made a move, we'd have to go along with it to protect our charade. And for that reason, I knew neither of us would. Banter, sparring, and competitiveness aside, we'd never want to cross that line and put the other person in a position where they couldn't properly consent to it.

"Make you a deal," I said. "You win all five of your nominations tonight, and I'll kiss you after the fifth one."

"Not gonna happen."

I quirked an eyebrow. "You think I'm lying?"

He grinned, easing back to put more space between us. "Nope. I don't think you're lying. But I'm not going to win all five."

"Do you already know that?"

"No... But I'm up against some seriously good musicians who are equally—if not more—deserving."

The brief detour into seriousness where he acknowledged the talent of his competition burst our flirtatious bubble. I'd been so used to seeing Teddy Stone at the top of his game, almost untouchable, that the thought of someone beating him was inconceivable. My stomach twisted uncomfortably at how attractive I found that glimpse of humility, and then it twisted even tighter as he leaned closer to my ear.

"How about we make it three instead?"

Against my better judgement, I tipped my head towards him, so our lips brushed. "Deal."

*

Ed picked up the first award for Album of the Year to raucous applause. He stood at the podium with confidence yet gratitude radiating off him. So at ease. So natural. But so humble. He thanked the organisers and his fans, then his team and his family.

And then he thanked his girlfriend. Our eyes briefly touched, and I didn't even have to fake my reaction to his warm words about me—how much he cherished our friendship, our laughter, our fights. When he called me his best friend, his voice cracked, and my heart jumped. I knew the speech itself was rehearsed and approved by Helen, but was that display of emotion planned? The audience didn't seem to think so as they cooed and aww'ed at his touching lapse. He cleared his throat and pushed ahead, any vulnerability now masked with self-assurance again.

Minutes later, he returned to his seat. His palm briefly settled on my leg as I congratulated him privately in his ear, and then he smiled at our neighbouring audience as they reached to shake his hand.

On it went, and his prediction proved correct. He didn't win all five, but with two under his belt, my mouth dried up as we approached the final category: the category that I didn't want him to win, no matter how much I wholeheartedly supported his success.

Snippets of songs echoed around the room when the nominations were read out. Heat suffocated me, my hands sweating as I rubbed them against my thighs, hoping I looked anxious for his victory rather than rattled by the song.

The chorus of the previous nomination faded into the chorus of Ed's. Cameras. Think about the cameras. I pasted a smile onto my face as I reached to squeeze his hand. His fingers threaded through mine and held tight, not letting go.

And then the winner was announced. And of course it was him. There was never any doubt. Record-breaking number of weeks in the chart. Most streamed track this year, despite only releasing in June. Undeniable mystery surrounding the inspiration for the lyrics. No other song had had as much impact.

My acting kicked in and I rose to my feet, wrapping my arms around his neck to hug him. One of us was trembling, but I couldn't tell who. Ed's hands curled around my waist and then his mouth pressed against my ear, his words quiet but shaky.

"I'm so sorry, Soph."

Was he apologising for the song, the win, or how those two things together had now overshadowed a previously flirtatious agreement? I hadn't expected this to be the song that triggered the kiss. I'd assumed he'd have already reached win number three earlier on in the night.

As I leaned out of the embrace, Ed's hand cupped my face and drew me into the kiss. The song brimmed with pain and resentment, but as our lips met, I felt only comfort and reassurance and warmth.

It lasted just a few seconds—short, simple, and sweet. Then he swept past me to collect the award.

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Thank you for reading :) xx

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I'm so impatient to share the next few chapters. They still need editing, but I hope I manage to do them justice. Please let me know your thoughts on this one! Where do you think they'll go from here?