Beginning of the new semester.

~

University has finally reopened from the Christmas break and I was completely ready to be away from home. These last few months of busy classes and no sleep was what I wanted and I withheld my excitement as I dropped my bags to the floor. Mom really wanted to come see me off but it was hard enough being home with her since Damon left.

It was as though everyone abandoned me as soon as he walked through those doors. My aunt left, Erin had to travel with his family and the house just had this emptiness every time I was inside it. That first night was the start of many nightmares of my dad and I hadn't realized how much Damon helped in distracting me. Trying to busy myself at home was a futile attempt since I couldn't even bring myself to farm because touching any tool or even trying to drive the tractor caused me great anxiety.

I know I shouldn't be upset that Damon left or even blame him but somehow I'd needed him just a bit longer and somehow he just couldn't stay. I'd tried reaching out to Trent but he never responded and surprisingly Alexis did. As soon as the thought left my head Alexis walked in and I jokingly rolled my eyes as she screamed my name.

"Geez girl, did you gain?" I moaned as she threw her weight against me, forcing us both onto the bed.

"How dare you!"

"What? It's the truth, you're so damn heavy now."

"It's not my fault my mom makes delicious meals."

"No, but it is your fault you're an elephant."

Alexis hits me behind my head and I laugh as she pretends to be offended.

"You're so lucky you're gay."

"Whatever."

We both lay back on my bare bed, just staring up at the ceiling and the comfortable silence that falls made me realize how badly I've missed her.

"I miss you..."

Alexis turns her head to the side so that we were now inches apart from each other and her eyes soften as she became serious.

"I promise I never left."

"I love you."

"I love you more."

She kisses my exposed cheek and lets the kiss linger and when she pulls away I can see she's battling to hide her tears. "I'm sorry I missed your dad's funeral."

"It's okay, Damon was there."

"What happened between you too?"

I sighed as I tried not to uncover a can of worms. "He was the perfect friend and I fell for him."

The smile I gave didn't quite reach my ears and she wiped the stray tear before bracing her forehead against mine.

"I fell for someone too."

"Tyler?"

She nods and I can see she really wants to talk about it. Difference was, hers was a happy ending.

"Tell me about him."

"No, this is your time."

"It's okay. I need to be distracted."

"You sure?"

I smile and she continues.

"He's amazing. We spent the remainder of last semester together and then he came and spent Christmas by me. He literally couldn't bear to be away from me and the first time we made love... he said he loved me."

Her eyes twinkled with young love and I couldn't help the pang of jealousy that tried to take form. I was happy for her... I really was, but it felt as though my life was one giant mess and I wanted no part in it. She continued talking about the perfect holiday she had and I forced myself to listen to every word being uttered.

Somehow I had zoned out because when I blinked again we were just leaving a cafe as we walked towards the admin building to check our grades. Without evening looking I knew I had all A's but that didn't even dampen the sour mood I was stuck in. Alexis tried to hide her disappointment as she had a few B's and one C but I knew her just as much as she knew me and I bumped her shoulder before walking off.

We decide to just head over to her dorm since we literally had two more days before Uni started and once more I tried reaching Trent. His phone kept going to voicemail and I rolled my eyes as I pocketed my phone. Alexis and I spent the remainder of our time just talking about random topics of conversation and when I did decide to leave we were both crying from all the laughter we did.

Tyler showed up just as I was leaving and I tried not to notice the kiss being shared as I walked away. The walk back to my dorm was a slow and quiet one as I enjoyed the light afternoon breeze and watched the students embracing friends and families or reuniting with their crush.

Looking at my wristwatch, it told me it was nearly three and I sighed loudly before heading up the steps to my dorm. I vaguely wondered if Damon had arrived or if he had even thought about me since leaving. It was February now, more than enough time for him to have many one night stands and to forget about me, but that small, stupid voice inside my head was hoping he didn't.

I heard the voices of the boys before I even reached my room and upon entering the open dorm, I saw them splayed comfortably before me. Damon was sitting on his bed, dressed in a pair of skinny black jeans, white sneakers and a white polo jersey; his hair a crazy mess as he threw his head back with laughter. Danny was looking all embarrassed as he sat on my bed dressed in a similar white polo jersey, black sneakers and jeans. His hair trimmed perfectly as his eyes stared daggers at his twin, Derek.

Derek had a matching laugh to Damon as he braced his desk, his light eyes squinted as tears escaped form the intensity of his laughs. He was holding his tummy and I was made aware of his all black outfit, making him stand out from the other boys in the room.

The scenery made me remember my first day here and I wanted to quietly leave so they could have their moment but Danny's voice halted my steps and brought the others attention towards me.

"Hey Christopher, happy new year man, welcome back."

I politely smiled as I avoided eye contact with Damon and slowly walked into the room to join the others.

Since there was no place left to sit, I was forced to sit near Danny and I didn't miss the smirk as he glanced over at Damon.

"So how was your holiday?" Derek asks out of the blue, forcing me once again to interact.

"Okay." I slowly responded.

"Hmm."

He pushes off the desk before dusting the imaginary dust from his jeans and does a weird handshake with Damon.

"See ya later dude; come on Danny boy, let's bounce."

I release my shaky breath as the door closes behind them and go to lie on my bed and sleep when I heard the clearing of throat from the boy across from me. Looking up I noticed Damon's deep dimpled cheeks as he smiled broadly at me.

"What?" I ask, feeling awkward.

He gets up from his bed and comes over to mine, taking a seat next to me.

"Welcome back doofus."

"Am... thanks."

"You okay?"

My eyes were downcast as I fiddled with my fingers but the concern in Damon's voice had me peeking up through my lashes.

"Am... yeah... I guess so."

"I didn't mean to leave like I did but... you know..."

"Yeah... I guess."

I didn't know what else to say. Here he was, sitting so close to me when all I wanted back in December was for him to be this close... was for him to just stay and not break my heart.. not leave me alone with a grieving mother and a house full of walls haunting me with the recent activities.

"Hey-"

Damon's soft voice cut into my thoughts and the gentle brush of his fingers across my cheek made me all too aware of the unwelcomed tears sliding down my face. He pulls me closer to him and in a blink of an eye I felt his lips against mine. My first instinct was to push him off me and yell at him for using me; an almost broken boy who was confused by my love for him...

It should have been.

Instead, my body just morphed against his as my mouth betrayed me; moaning his name as my heart kicked up its fast beating. In no time my hands had sneaked around his neck, fingers making a mess of his too long hair. His hands had wasted no time in becoming familiar with my body once more and soon the bed was filled with hands and limbs and confusion of clothing as we got lost in each other.

"Wait." I barely managed to utter as I felt his fingers encircle my too hard boner.

"I've waited long enough." He moans back as he makes my neck his battlefield.

I almost lose it at his words but I was so tired of the games we were playing.

"Damon no, stop. We need to talk."