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"I think I still like you," Mark said and looked at his best friend that seemed frozen. Mari's lips parted from the Vitamin bottle and she bit her bottom lip. She didn't know what to think about Mark's words. Hearing them now, years after she buried her confusing feelings for him, was weird. "M-Mark, I" - "I know it's a horrible timing for me to drop this bomb, but I couldn't stop thinking about you ever since I recognised you again." Mark rambled and Mari drops her hands. 

She fiddled around with the almost empty bottle unsure of what to say. "Mari?" The rapper asked and the female Idol let out a sharp breath. "That's kinda unfair." She finally said and locked her hazel eyes with his. "Unfair?" He asked, automatically switching into English as soon as Mari had started speaking their mother tongue.

"Yes, Mark. Unfair." She said and took the hood off her head to ruffle through her hair. "You can't just call me out like that and tell me you like me when you haven't cared for me for the past five years!" Mari looked at him and sighed. "It's cute that you remember everything now, but it's unfair of you to drop this bomb on me when I am finally fine knowing I won't ever stand a fucking chance with you!" Mari's voice got louder and she downed the rest of her Vitamin juice. 

"What do you mean with that?" - "Are you stupid or something, Mark Lee?!" Mark froze at Mari's harsh words. He could slightly understand why she was agitated but it was hurting him to see her like that. Mari saw, how Mark didn't understand what she was saying and gulped.

"Mark I was in love with you. That's why I went to the SM audition with you! I liked you so much, but you were so young and didn't realise I had feelings for you. The Valentines cards? They were from me, not from Chelsea. The birthday cards and chocolates? They were also from me and not Claudia. It was me all the fucking time, but I didn't want to burden you and take away your dream of becoming an Idol. Mark, I loved you so much." Mari took a breath, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. "That's why this sudden confession is unfair. Just when I was okay with just being friends again."

Mark looked down. He never knew that Mari had liked him more than a friend. He had never known that Mari had always cared for him from behind. She was the one who practised day and night with him, so he could pass the Global Audition.

She was always there. But he was too selfish to realise there was someone waiting for him.

Mark closed his eyes for a tiny second. "I'm sorry I was blind towards your feelings." His bottom lip shivered while his eyes fell back on Mari, who was crying now. "I'm sorry I dropped this bomb on you. Do you think we can be friends?" 

Mari let out a hard breath. "I think I need some time first. This hurts Mark. Knowing you always liked me but never told me... This is a lot." Mari put on her hood and hid her hands in her sleeves. "I need some time. Don't call or text me, please." Her voice was shaking and Mark felt bad.

He knew he hurt her. He hoped she would understand and tell him she liked him as well. He never thought Ahn Mari would feel burdened by his sudden confession. Everything went wrong and Mark knew it was his fault.

"Don't leave me, Mari."

"I wouldn't leave you, after finally finding you again," Mari said with a soft voice, a tear glistening on her cheek. "I just need some time to let your confession sink in..." She took a deep breath and bowed politely. "I'm sorry. I will leave now."

And with these words, Mari turned around and disappeared into the night. Mark stood in front of the quiet Convenience store feeling a hole in his chest. A whole where Mari used to warm him. He knew he fucked up. "For fuck's sake." He whispered, ruffled his hair and stormed into the convenience store buying a bottle of Soju.

He had to down his emotions now, no matter how early he had to get up on the next day.

― 💌 ―

"You look like shit," Renjun said when Mark entered the studio the next morning. He wore a grey hoodie and black sweats. Under his brown eyes were dark rings and he looked pale. "And you smell like shit," Jaemin added and held his nose. "Wow, what have you been drinking?" Renjun asked and poked Mark's shoulder.

"Can you stop?!" Mark hissed and pushed the two 00-liners off him. "I had a tough night and maybe I drank a little bit so can you please shut the fuck up and mind your own business?" Mark growled and Renjun cocked his eyebrow. "Wow, no need to act like a bitch," Renjun said and pushed Mark away.

The usual calm boy shook his head and went to sit down with Jaemin, who eyed Mark with a weird expression.

Mark felt bad for hissing at his younger but he couldn't deal with their behaviour right now.

Thankfully the producer soon entered the room and asked Jaemin to record first. Jaemin walked past Mark, eyeing him for a bit before entering the recording booth. With a heavy heart, Mark went to sit down next to Renjun who didn't eye the leader at all.

"I'm sorry, Jun." Mark tried but Renjun didn't look at him. "Come on buddy, don't ignore me. I said I'm sorry." - "Save it for someone who cares." Was all Renjun said, still offended with Mark's attitude. "I had a horrible night. Mari dumped me in the worst way possible and I got drunk afterwards because I couldn't deal with it. Please don't ignore me. Please." Mark's voice shivered and Renjun looked over and sighed.

"It's not my problem that y'all have your girl problems. We have a fucking dating ban for a reason, but nope! All my friends have fucking girl problems and whine in my ear about them when I'm not fucking interested!" Renjun jumped up and show Mark his middle finger. "Fix your girl issues yourself, Hyung!" And then he left.

"Is he jealous?" Mark asked himself before remembering how bad he actually felt.