ok, storytime. At a group sleepover, there's this girl, the most innocent thing you've ever met, k? She nods off the couch early on in the night. As everyone's getting ready to play cards, one of my friends leans back and hears her mumbling in her sleep.
My friend motions everyone to be quiet. This girl snuggles her blanket, smiles, and in the sweetest voice, says, "Go on Brandon. You can jump. It's only 30 stories."

OH my gosh, these are great.
I know I have done some weird shit in my sleep

One time a friend was sleeping over. She had top bunk and I had bottom. I heard this random noise and woke up just to find her upside down staring at me, smiling devilishly. She mumbled, "I'll peel your skin off" and fell off the bed. I have never been so horrified in my life