I was a fucking masochist. What other reason could I've had to volunteer to chase after you and Lucy, once we realized you'd stolen an S-Class Mission?

I should have thought about how much it'd hurt to see you with her, but all I could think was how you'd get yourself killed during the mission or Erza and my mouth dried up as I panicked. No matter where we stood at the moment, I needed you.

How bad could it be?

I'd found you but you managed to knock me out and tie me up. Before I knew what was happening, I was on a boat to Galuna island. But you were right, those people needed our help, and no one else was willing to do it. We were their only hope.

So I swallowed my pride and went along with your scheme, a willing participant to your idiocy. I could never have imagined how this job would change everything we knew about each other. It tore my world apart, forced me to face all the things I'd thought I'd left behind.

Deliora.

Towering over me, encased in the very ice that was a testament to my Master's will. It had been her ultimate sacrifice and my sin to bear. But now the ice was melting, it didn't make sense, and it terrified me. I felt eight years old again, and my heart beat faster as I grew terrified that Deliora would tear you apart in front of my eyes.

Not you, never you, I'd rather die than let that happen!

I'd never expected to see Lyon again either, not after the way we'd left things but I should have known his ambition could never be sated. So many emotions ran through me — anger, hatred, love, despair, fear, shame. Leaving me breathless and shaky.

I could feel your confusion as you watched me, wanting to ask but not knowing how I'd react, and I wished so much I didn't love you. All my secrets, everything I'd ever kept hidden, poured out of me, laying me bare in front of you and letting you see straight into my soul. Rendering me weak when all I'd wanted was to show you my strength. But there was no other choice to be made, Lyon had to be stopped, Deliora could not be allowed to rise again.

I knew there was only one way to stop the demon, Ur had proven that years ago. I needed to defeat Lyon and cast Iced Shell. I'd live out the rest of my life in an eternal contest of wills against the demon that had taken everything from me. I made my peace and prepared to sacrifice myself to keep you safe, to keep everyone safe.

I could see the questions in your eyes, and I evaded them as best I could, not wanting you to understand what I was up to. I needed to touch you so desperately then, to tell you the words I'd held back so long, knowing I'd never get another chance.

I caught the worry reflected in your eyes when you looked at me, and I felt guilty for putting it there. I watched you run off to handle your own fight, trusting my strength to carry me through and I was selfishly glad that you wouldn't be able to see what was going to happen.

Deliora growled as the ice surrounding him finally melted and I knew I was out of time. I knocked Lyon out of the way and walked resolutely towards the demon, ready to put an end to the turmoil of my childhood.

I crossed my arms in front of me in the shape of an X, just as Ur had all those years ago when she tried to lock away my darkness. I readied myself, saying goodbye to the friends I'd made at Fairy Tail. When I felt the spell take hold of me, I quickly searched for you, hoping your face was the last thing I saw before my body transformed into ice.

But you weren't where you were supposed to be. Somehow when I'd looked away, you'd managed to place yourself right in front of me, determined in your desire to face Deliora while preventing me from sacrificing myself.

My blood froze, and my eyes widened, as I watched you fight my demon and defeat him, your flames blazing, a mirror to your heart, which was larger than life as always.

I thought you'd yell, or kick and punch, at the very least call me names. You had every right to be angry, but you did none of those things. You crashed into me, but not in any way I expected.

As I tried to make sense of everything that had happened, I felt your arms grip me tightly, pulling our bodies closer as if you were afraid I'd disappear if you let go. Your lips slammed into mine, a kiss both desperate and demanding, everything I'd always imagined and more.

And for once I didn't fight you, I surrendered. I kissed your lips without restraint and let your light enter my soul, eradicating any remaining darkness.

I realized then I'd been wrong. You were never meant to be my penance, you were meant to bring me hope. And now that I have you, I will never let you go.