Author's pov

Both shiva and raavi just stood there looking at each other..

They both didnt know whether they should talk or not..
Yes raavi had came here today just so thats she can talk to him but looking at shiva it felt that if they start talking she will loose control and do something..

While shiva was just looking at raavi , he wasn't prepared for this encounter yet, or maybe he would never have been prepared..

Just yesterday he was planning to go back to shimla..
And today he had raavi standing right infront of him..
Will he be selfish if he says that he wants to be back with her , if he says that he wants her to hold him in her arms and smoothing all his pain..

They don't know for how long they just stood there not at all talking, it was only after raavi heard the lighting voice she came out of her trace...

Shiva too looked away when he heard the lighting..

He once again looked at her and said
Shiva - kaisi ha

Raavi just looked at him 8 months , they have been away from 8 months and this is what he asks her..
(Raavi completely ignored the fact that how her body shivered listening to his voice after so long)

Raavi- theek hu..

( shiva felt goosebumps all over his body , was it because of the weather or because he was listening to her voice after such a long time )

Shiva - lag nhi rhi ha tu theek
( shiva said without even thinking and that was true , she didn't looked fine )

Raavi looked directly into his eyes and said
Raavi- tujhe kya fark padta ha shiva

Shiva didnt know why but the hurt in her voice did something to him and he steeped towards her..
But raavi stopped him showing her palm

Raavi- nhi shiva , kuch mat bolna..
Tune mujhe ye yakeen dila diya ha ki tu bas bolta tha ki tujhe mujhse pyaar tha , asal main tune kabhi mujhse pyaar kiya hi nhi ha..
Agar kiya hota toh us din itni asani se tu hamra rishta nhi todta..
2 second bhi nhi lage the tujhe meri mang suni karne main, mujhse rishta todne main, mujhe akela chodne main..
8 mahine 8 mahine intezar kiya ha maine shiva, har din intezar kiya tha , har subha main is umeed ke saath uthti thi ki shayad aaj shiva aaiyega aur mujhe apne sath le jaiyega, aur har raat main apni umeed ko tutte dekhti thi..

Mujhe laga tha ki chaiye main tujhe apne pyaar ka izhar karu ya naa karu pr tu samjhega , aur tu ye bhi samjhega ki maine kyu mausi maa ki side li thi us din
Pr tune kisi aur ki baato ko sach maan ke mujhse rishta hi tod diya..

Shiva looked at her shocked , he didnt knew that she knows all that..
He was gonna ask her about it when raavi again spoke...

Raavi- Aacha hua rishita ne us din un sbki baat sun li thi , warna main toh yahi samajhti ki mujh main kuch kami thi is liye tujhe meri dil ki wo awaz bhi sunai nhi di jo cheekh cheekh ke ye khethi thi ki shiva I love you...

Shiva just stood there not knowing what to say..
He knew he was wrong , he was wrong all these while , he was wrong that day , and he knew he will be wrong if he doesn't speak today..

Raavi- mujhe sach janana ha shiva , wo jo wakai main sach ha , wo jo tera sach ha...
Mujhe janana ha ki aisi kaun si wajha thi jiske karan tune ye rishta hi khatam kar diya...

Shiva looked at her and the fire in her eyes did told him not to play with her..
Shiva nodded his head not knowing what else to do...

He took a deep breath and said..

Shiva - Kabhi kabhi aisi cheezein hoti ha jo aapka barso ka banaya hua self-confidence hota ha naa wo tod deti ha..
Us din jo bhi maine aapne baare main suna tha wo sb pehli baar nhi suna tha , mujhe hamesha sb khethe rehte the ki shiva aisa ha shiva waisa ha , zahil ha gawar ha..
Aisa nhi tha ki mujhe ye baate hurt nhi krti thi , main bas kabhi dekhata nhi tha , main un baato ko apne andar hi kahi dafan kr deta tha..
Haa main logo ko unke muh pe jo hota tha bol deta tha kyu ki main waisa hi hu..
Pura somnath khetha ha ki shiva pandya ek pathar dil insaan ha , usse kisi ki.fikar nhi ha , usse kabhi chot nhi pahuchati usse dard nhi hota ha , par aisa nhi ha raavi main bhi insaan hi hu mujhe bhi takhleef hoti ha maine bhi roya hu jb maine apni maa , apne pariwar ke saath galat hote dekha tha toh, main bhi roya hu jb jn dhara bhabhi ko koi kuch khethe tha , bht bura lgta tha , ki log mere baare main aisa sochte ha par phir main sochta tha ki koi toh hoga jo mujhe mere kapdo dekh ke nhi meri niyat dekh ke mujhse pyaar karega...
Main kabhi bahari dikhawati pe nhi gaya , mere liye jitna zaroori saas lena ha na utna hi zaroori ek saaf dil bhi ha...
Main hamesha tujhse ladta tha kyu ki kahi naa kahi mujhe lgta tha ki tu mere gusse ko samajh skti ha..
Jis din meri tujhse shaadi hui thi ussi din se main ye janta tha ki main tere layak nhi hu, tere kabil nhi hu..
Kaha tu somnath ki sabse khubsoorat ladki ha aur kaha main suar jaisa,
Kaha tu itni padhi likhi ha aur kaha main anpadh gawar..
Main is baat se bht wakif tha ki hum dono ek dusre se bht alag ha , pr jb bhi ye baatein kisi aur se muh se sunta tha toh khanjar hi tarha dil maim chubhti thi, main jb jb khud ko aine main dekhta tha toh sochta tha ki aisa kya ha mujh main jisse tere jaisa ya koi bhi ladki mujhse shaadi ke liye taiyaar ho..
Bht se logo ne taana mara raavi ki mujhse mere ghar wale bhi bas is liye pyaar krte ha kyu ki main unke family ka sadasya hu, aur unke alawa koi bhi mujhse kabhi pyaar nhi kar paiyega aur agar karega toh apni zindagi se haar ke karega,
(Shiva started crying while saying this )
Jb maine apne pyaar ka confession kiya aur jb tere aankho main bhi apne liye pyaar dekha toh bht try kiya ki inki baato pe dhayan naa du , aur apne pyaar pe bharosha rakhu tere ankon pe bharosha rakho , par nhi ho paya yaar baakio ki tarha main bhi insaan hi hu naa mujhe bhi wo baate yaad aane lgti thi..
Bht takhleef hoti ha jb log khethe ha ki shiva tu raavi ke layak nhi ha , uski zindagi barbad ho gai tujhse shaadi kr ke, toh mujhe sach main lagne laga ki ye jb bol rhe ha wo sach ha main tere layak nhi hu
Kaha tujhe dev jaisa ek samajhdar padha likha ladka chaiyea tha aur kaha main teri naseeb main aa gira..
Logo ke muh se hamare liye ashirwad kaam nikalta tha aur ye zyada ki kaise tu mujhe ek din chod ke chali jaiyegi..
Maine itni dafa ye baate suni thi ki main darne laga tha, koi dukaan pe aata tha toh saman baad main leta the pehle ye bolta tha ki shiva raavi aabhi bhi tere saath ha ya chali gai chod de..
Toh mujhe sach main daar lgne laga ki main kya karunga agar tu mujhe chod ke chali jaiyegi..

Logo ko khali mere andar khamiya hi nazar aati thi ki shiva kitna rude ha , kaise kapde pehenta ha , naukar jaisa rhta ha , kisi ke pyaar ke layak nhi ha..
Mai ye sb bardast krta tha , pan jb meri wajha se wo tujhe taras ki nigah se dekhne lage toh wo bardast nhi ho paya mujhse..
Main manta hu ki main rude hu zahil hu gawar hu junglee hu sb janta hu , par kya sach main kisi ke pyaar ke kabil nhi hu?
Maine kabhi tujhpe dought nhi kiya par us din wo sb sunne ke baad mujhe ajeeb lagne laga , aur phir jb tune bhi khe diya toh main tut gaya andar se pura , us samay mujhe laga ki main tujhe is rishte ke kaid se azad kr du..
Meri galti ha main manta hu par main bhi toh insaan hu mujhe bhi baate chubhti ha ek hi baat har din sun sun ke maine usse apni hakikat hi maan li , sach main lagne laga ki tu khush nhi ha mere saath..

Shiva fell on his knees after that , crying all his heart out...

Raavi stood there , just looking at him not knowing what to do..
Before she wanted to beat him thinking he has broken their marriage because of someone's useless words but ,now raavi realised how strongly that words have effected him, he has been listening to them since so long..
Now she realised why he behaved that way..

She didnt know why but she felt the need to comfort him..
She kneeled down on his level and cupped his face ,

They both shivered when their skin touched..
Raavi made shiva look at her and said

Raavi- main nhi janti hu shiva ki tere andar ke is daar ko kaise nikalu , par aaj main jo khene jaa rhi hu usse dhyan se sunna..
Tu zahil nhi ha gawar nhi ha , tu hera ha, pandya parivaar ka , koi dusra teri parakh kar ske utni unki aukat nhi ha , shiva pandya ko sb samajh ske aisa un main talent nhi ha , aur tu kyu dusro ki baato ko aapne seene se laga rha ha , tujhe pta ha ki tera parivaar tujhse kitna pyaar krta ha , tujhe pta ha ki tera parivaar kitna lucky ha ki tu inka hissa ha...
Logo ko kya pta shiva ki tune kya kya kiya ha us family ke liye, dusro ke liye , aare tu toh anajn ki bhi aisi madad kr deta ha jaise wo tera apna ho, tera dil kitna saaf ha naa wo koi dusra nhi samajh skta ha kyu ki tu batana hi nhi ha..
Agar tu dusro ki buri nazar se khud ko dekhta ha toh unki nazar se kyu nhi dekhta jo tujhse pyaar krte ha..
Wo insan bht lucky ha jo tujhse zuda ha , kyuki har kisi ke zindagi main aise log nhi hote ha jo dusro ke liye apni jaan de de...
Logo ne nhi dekha tha ki kaise tune mujhe do baar marne se bacahaya tha, kaise tune apne bhai ke liye mujhse shaadi ke liye haa bola tha , logo ne nhi dekha ha ki kaise shiva pandya ke aankho main uske parivaar ko dukh main dekh ke ansoo aa jate ha , aur kaise tere chehre pe ek pyaari se hasi aati ha jb tu unsbko khush dekhta ha toh,
Kuch log kya bolte ha tere baare main wo tera sach nhi ban jata ha , jake unse puch jisne asli shiva pandya ko dekha ha...
Aur rahi.baat pyaar ke kabil hone ki toh tera parivaar tujhse kitna pyaar krta ha te tujhse behtar aur koi nhi janta ha..
Sb se zyada agar koi pyaar deserve krta ha toh wo tu ha , kyuki tera dil saaf ha , tere andar kabhi koi chal nhi rha ha..
Log is liye tere baare main bolte ha kyuki wo samjha hi nhi skte ha ki tu kua cheez ha , aare log toh asli aur nakli hasi main bhi fark nhi bata pade ha toh ye aise bata skte ha ki tune aapne rude chehre ke peeche kaun sa chehra chupaya ha..
Haa manti hu ki tune bht padhai nhi ki ha pr jitni asani se tu logo ko padh skta ha naa  aur jitni asani se tu logo ko samja skta ha naa wo koi aur nhi kr sakta h..
Aur logo ko samjhe ya unse beinteha pyaar krna duniya ki koi bhi degree nhi sekhati wo bas insan ko uska dil batata ha..
Har insan ko heere ki parakh nhi hoti ha shiva..
Aur rahi baat meri toh shiva haa main gussa hu naraz bhi ho pr apne gusse main mai ye nhi bhool skti hu ki main tujhse kitna pyaar karti hu , meri har saas main tu ha shiva , har saas main , agar main tujhe dekha skti toh dekha ti ki kitna pyaar krti hu tujhse

They both just looked at each other , tears streaming down from both of their eyes..
Shiva wanted to hug her be in her arms but he didn't knew whether he should or not..
But he knew he needs to do something before anything else..

Shive held her hand in his and said

Shiva - I am sorry raavi , maine jo bhi kiya uske liye , mere karan tujhe itna kuch jhelna pada uske liye , kaash main ye 8 mahine hamari zindagi se nikal skta.. I am sorry..
Mujhe maaf kr de please.... Main janta hu maine tujhe bht hurt kiya ha pr please ek mauka raavi bas ek mauka..

Raavi hurridely pulled her hand out of his grip and said

Raavi- sahi kaha tune shiva , maine bht jhela ha tere karan , mera jo dil ha naa wo tod diya ha tune , tukdo tukdo main bekhar  diya ha aur tb par bhi mere dil sirf tujhse pyaar krta ha uske har tukde pe tera naam likha hua ha..
Bht hurt kiya ha tune mujhe shiva..

She got up and was about to go walk away when she turned back and said

Raavi- agar tu yaha se gaya nhi hota naa toh shayad main tujhe maaf kr deti , par yaha se jaake tune mere hausle ko tod diya tha meri umeed bikher di thi..

Shiva-main daar gaya tha raavi ,bht daar gaya tha main..
Jb us din tune kaha ki tu pyar krti ha toh main khush hone ke banaiye wo sb sochne laga jo in logo ne mujhse kaha tha ki koi tab hi mujhe pyaar karega jb wo.haar chuka hoga zindagi se, aur wo mujhe pe ehsaan kr rha hoga, mujhe unki baatein sach lagne lagi , mujhe sach main laga ki tu mujh pe ehsaas kr ra...........aaaahhhhhh
( shiva couldn't complete as raavi started throwing different objects on him ,hitting him with vase and different show piece which ever came in her hand )

Raavi kya kr rhi ha , raaviii ahhhh raavi dard ho rha ha raaviii

Shiva screamed

Dard ho rha ha aur jo dard tune mujhe diye ha uska kya shiva, ya jo dard tu mujhe aabhi de rha ha uska kya , maine apne pyaar ka ezhaar kiya tha toh wo sochne ke bajaiye tu faltu logo ki baate soch rha ha tha , mere confession ko sun kar mujhe gale lagane ke bajaiye tu mujhe jata hua dekh rha tha , aur uske baad bhi jb tujhe mere pass aana chaiyea tha mujhse baat krni chaiyea thi tb tu yaha se chala gaya..
8 mahine 8 mahine gayab tha tu , kaha tha kaha..
TU SIRF APNE BAARE MAIN SOCHTA HA SHIVA PANDYA ,SIRF APNE BAARE MAI TUJHE MERI FIKAR HI NHI HA , TUJHE IS BAAT KI FIKAR HI NHI HA KI RAAVI KO TERI UN SAARI HARKATO SE KITNI TAKLEEF PUNCHI HOGI , TUJHE BAS YE SOCHAN HOTA HA KI SHIVA TU YE DARD NHI JHEL SKTA HA , SHIVA TU YE HEARTBREAK BARDASH NHI KAR SKTA HA , SHIVA TU USKE LAYAK NHI HA...
KABHI YE SOCHA HA KI RAAVI KE DARD KA KYA USSE KAISE LAGAGE USSE KITAN BURA LAGA HOGA , EK BAAR BHI SOCHA TUME KI MILO MAIN AAKE USEE EK BAAR BHI..
MERI GALTI THI SHIVA KI MAINE TUJSE UMEED KI , MAINE YE SOCHA KI TU HAMESHA KI.TARHA SAMJHEGA MUJHE PR NHI SHIVA PANDYA KO RAAVI SHIVA PANDYA SE KYA MATLAB...
MAIN AGAR TUJHE KOI TAKAT DE SKTI NA DUNIYA KI TOH YE DETI KI TU KHUD KO MERI NAZRO SE DEKHE TAB TUJHE SAMAJH AAIYEGA KI TU KYA HA MERE LIYE AUR KITNA PYAAR KRTI HU MAI TUJHSE..MAIN NE KABHI NHI CHAHA THA SHIVA KI TU PERFECT BANE , KYUKI TU JAISA HA NA MERE LIYE PERFECT HA..

raavi shouted on top of her voice.....

Shiva looked at her feeling shamed , she was right , he was somewhere or the other just thinking abut himself..
He knew how much raavi loves him and yet he decided that she should be set free just because he belived those people's word who dont even matter to them..

Raavi who was funning in anger walked towards one of the room that she saw was open...
Yes she was angry and yes she should be getting out of here but she wanted to stay
1 because she wanted to know everything , she wanted him to let everything out..
2 she wanted to stay close to him
After she had realised how mentally those words have effected him , she somewhere or the other understands his actions..
Will it be wrong if she says that she didn't wanted to leave him now..
Will that be to much to ask for...

Shiva looked at the room raavi has gone  and walked towards her..
He stepped inside and saw her sitting on the bed, kneeling infront of her he took her leg in his hand and kissed if lightly and said..

Shiva - main janta hu raavi maine bht si galtiyan ki ha , tujhse nafrat ka naatak krne se leke tujhe wakai main thes pahuchne tak aur un sab ke liye I am sorry..
Haa main janta hu ek sorry bolne se kisi ka dard kaam nhi ho skta ha aur naa hi aapne jo kiya ha wo mitaya jaa skta ha par is waqt is shabd se zyada aur kuch nhi ha mere pass..
Haa agar tu mujhe ek mauka degi toh mai promise krta hu ki tujhe kabhi dubara rone nhi dunga..
Main janta hu main perfect nhi hu aur mujhe aab banna bhi nhi ha kyuki main ye jan gaya hu ki main jaisa bhi hu tere liye perfect hu..
And I promise main kabhi kisi ki baato ko dil se nhi lagaunga...Please ek mauka dede..
Tere jitne bhi dard ha naa , un sab ko mujhe bata , tujhe chaiyea toh mera sir phod de main aahh tk nhi karunga par please , please mujhse ek mauka de de..
Main dubara tujhe khona chahta hu..

Shiva said as a drop of tear fell on raavi's foot that he was holding...

Authors note

What do you think will be raavi's answer or what do you all want it to be
Should she forgive him easily or not ?

Thats all for their confession...

It's an early update..