The Hypothesis of Fuck Off
Katsuki wakes up slow and heavy, body still feeling like lead as he struggles to get his eyes open.
"Mornin'."
"Ughhhh. Dun talk ta me, 'm dyin'."
Izuku chuckles, large hand soothingly rubbing over Katsuki's side. "Still tired? You might feel a little better if we get some food in you. A good orgasm keeps you lethargic for a while." Katsuki doesn't answer, still just a bit too foggy for proper brain function.
Then, like a switch, something in him flips.
He shoots up from the bed, scrambling for his phone.
"Fuck me, I'm late for class!" He panics, trying to unlock his phone. He's bombarded with texts from Shouto and Denki and even Hitoshi, asking where the fuck he is. Katsuki curses under his breath. Today was going to be a fucking disaster.
"Calm down, kiddo. It's Saturday. And I've already told Kirishima to let Shouto know that you're safe and you're with me."
Katsuki falls back into the pillows with a sigh of relief.
"Thank fuck." Even though he's gonna have a hell of a time explaining this one to Shouto.
At least he got some good dick and some existential answers out of it.
He looks over at Izuku from where he's sitting next to him, back against the headboard and glasses perched on his nose with a book the size of a dictionary in his hands.
"You look pretty hot in those."
Izuku pauses in his reading to smile down at him.
"Yeah? Thank you, baby."
"Mhm."
"You hungry?"
And, as if on cue, Katsuki's stomach makes an ungodly noise. "Does good dick make you hungry, too?" He mumbles, rubbing his abdomen with a sore arm. He finds, in fact, that his entire body is sore.
"If you're doing it right, it should. The art of good sex should be like getting high. Happy. Hungry. Sleepy. And when you wake up from a night of getting your pretty pussy pounded, your muscles ache in the best way."
"Oh yeah, I'm definitely feelin' that."
"I'm assuming you don't want your pussy pounded again before we get breakfast, then."
"Jesup Christ, what's up with your libido?"
Izuku shrugs, still giving Katsuki that stupid, charming little smirk he always gives him. "You don't have to, you know. You just tend to go about your day a little more relaxed after you cum."
"I don't think my asshole can take anymore abuse right now." Katsuki says honestly. Even his ass cheeks are sore, likely bruised from the way Izuku fucked and manhandled him the night before.
"That's perfectly fine, Kats. If you don't want any dick, I could always eat you out and give you some head. I've got no qualms with tasting that beautiful body again this morning." He says, licking his lips in a predatory manner.
And honestly...getting eaten out sounds pretty fucking good right now.
#
Breakfast is a lot more pleasant than Katsuki expects it to be.
Izuku treats him to some quaint little brunch spot around that area of town. It made Katsuki a little uncomfortable---with all the rich, snooty people eyeing him---but they're shockingly friendly and helpful in suggesting what dishes he should try. They didn't even card him when Izuku ordered mimosas for them both.
"Stop staring at me, nerd." He mumbles, blushing as he eyes his empty plate. Izuku huffs fondly from his nose. "Sorry, sorry. You just look really content. It's nice to look at."
"Shut up."
"What? It is."
"I said I'd go on your stupid dates, you don't have to butter me up."
"I don't, which is why I'm not. Why do you assume that every time someone compliments you, they're joking or have some hidden motives?"
Katsuki shrugs. He doesn't feel like he has to explain himself to anyone. To Deku no less.
And Izuku just stares at him a moment.
"You busy today?"
Katsuki's eyes flicker up at him.
"Not really, why?"
"Can I take you shopping?"
Katsuki immediately opens his mouth to object but Izuku holds up his finger to silence him.
"As a date. You owe me that, remember?"
Katsuki eyes him incredulously, as he's got a point. He sighs, wiping a hand over his face.
"Fine. Fine."
"Glad we could come to terms."
"You're insufferable."
"I try."
Katsuki rolls his eyes, unable to keep himself from smiling. Izuku graces him with a smile of his own. Katsuki wonders if this is how it would have been if he's stayed that morning all those weeks ago instead of running away. He was wrong about the type of person Izuku was. He'd thought maybe he was just a silver-tongued man-whore who sweet talks college kids into his bed but he's just...
Romantic.
An honest and true romantic.
"Katsuki?"
The voice comes from behind him to his left and leaves him absolutely frigid. He looks at Izuku with panic in his eyes as footsteps draw nearer. The older man only seems slightly concerned, but he reaches out and holds Katsuki's much smaller hand in his own to quell his shaking.
"It is you. What the fuck, Katsuki, I've been calling you for weeks."
It takes immense strength for Katsuki to gather the courage to look Yo Shindou in the eyes.
"I don't owe you any explanations. Just leave me---"
"Fucking hell, you don't. We're not doing this in public, Katsuki, let's go home. Now."
His tone is ominous. Katsuki almost feels himself stand out of fear, but Izuku squeezes his hand in a silent order to make him stay put.
"He's not going anywhere with you, young man. Don't make a scene. Just leave."
Shindou snarls at him.
"This isn't any of your business, old man."
"It's not? My lover and I were having a lovely time until you came here demanding his time. I'd appreciate it if you'd leave."
The word 'lover' seems to trigger him and he grabs Katsuki's arm to roughly tug him out of his seat. People are watching now and the situation is escalating.
"Ow, fuck, Yoshi, stop it!"
"We're leaving. You're going to get your ass in that fucking care and you're gonna answer for all the shit you've given me."
"You cheated on me and didn't even stop seeing him when I found out! You don't want me, you never did! I was just easy for you..."
Shindou glares right through him.
"Let's. Go."
Katsuki shakes his head in near tears.
"That's enough, young man. Let him go." Izuku says, face all hard lines and stoic as he stands from his own seat.
"I told you to fuck o---oof!"
Izuku takes the hand that grabs Katsuki and twists it painfully behind Shindou's back, slamming him face down onto the table and causing the entire cafe to gasp as the younger man grunts and struggles against the pain.
"You---you're gonna fucking break my arm!"
"You're obviously not very attached to it, putting your hands on him like that."
Katsuki isn't sure of how he should feel, but watching Izuku put Shindou in his place kind of made him...
Well.
Horny.
"You do not own him. You're going to leave, you're going to stay gone, and you're going to leave him alone forever. And if I find out that you did not---and trust that I will---I will rip your string bean arms off of your shoulders and shove them up your pompous asshole. I assume we're at an understanding."
He yanks Shindou upright and pushes him towards the door. The younger man stumbles, glaring at him before he turns toward the waiter who's handing him his jacket and snatches it out of his hands. Once he's out of eyeshot, the entire cafe erupts into applause.
Izuku smiles sheepishly and rubs the back of his head.
"Sorry for interrupting your meal. I'll pay for them all---"
"Nonsense, sir, we'll take care of everything. Thank you very much." The waiter says with a bow before he turns to walk away.
Izuku then turns his attention to the awestruck blonde at his side.
"Now, where were we?"
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