Interview with ProjectSuicidal

Interviewer: Amanda (AmandaTayteTait)

Interviewed: Ella (@Ella-the-jesus-freak)

Q: What motivated you to start this campaign?

A: Well, I first sparked interest in starting a suicide prevention campaign when I saw the and campaigns. I didn't want to admin, but start my own campaign (also, they weren't looking for admins at the time).

Then, a little while later (I'd say maybe a few months after I was looking into creating the campaign), I became depressed. My great grandmother had passed from cancer, and I realised death was inevitable. I always knew death was lurking around the corner. I just didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. I just didn't want to live. I didn't see a reason as to live. I was also having a hard time in school. Bullying caused me to seek the shadows of life, and that helped with my depression to worsen. Kids taunted and teased me. They told everyone else to 'drink bleach'. It didn't help when a few told me to kill myself. 'Why not?' I asked myself. I wasn't worth it. I felt like I didn't belong.

I was always called dumb, stupid, and other petty little names like that. I knew I wasn't, because I wasn't failing by any means in school. Yet when those names are ingrained in your head from people (not to mention, yourself) calling you that for years, you begin to accept the fact.

I have a great home life, I am a Christian. God has a purpose for me. I know that I needed to seek Him. He's my main priority. All glory goes to Him. Amen.

All the while I was going through this, I had an AMAZING support system. My boyfriend, also one of my closest and best friends, helped me a lot. He made me view myself as important. I remember the night I told him I was going to go through with my suicide. He told me this:

"NO, I LOVE YOU AND YOU AREN'T GOING TO STOP ME. WETH WET I'M KEEPING YOU ALIVE OR NOT. IF YOU'RE GOING TO DIE GOD WOULD HAVE TAKEN YOU. Y OU ARE MAKING YOURSELF FEEL THE WAY YOU DO WHEN YOU WANT TO DIE AND GOD WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO HURT YOURSELF. YOU CAN CONTROL THIS THING WORMING INSIDE OF YOU YOU CAN STOP THIS THING I CAN'T YOU HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF. IT'S IN YOU NOT ME OR I WOULD HAVE TO HELP HELP MYSELF. SO I CAN SAY I LOVE YOU ALOT AND YOU AREN'T GOING TO DIE!!!!!! I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I COULD SAY IT INFINITY TIMES!!!" 

He was so worried, and he was typing so fast he didn't even care about the mistakes. I realised then that he was the one. Yes, we still have problems. But a good couple has something to fight for. If they don't then where's the happiness in that? He's my biggest hero. My lifesaver. My one. My love. My best friend. He's also my brother-in-Christ.

My family also supports me, like I said. I'm lucky to have a great loving family. I know most people aren't as lucky as me to have that. I have a great mom. Great dad. Great sister.

Schools a different story, as I had said. Yet I'm going to be a freshman this year, so that may help a bit. I won't have to deal with the people I do deal with in school when I graduate college. Heck, I won't see them in college, either (probably; keep my fingers crossed!).

I started the campaign in April, and I now have twelve admins. My admins are who I look to for help and support. They are true blessings to work with. They may not be on all the time, yet any little hung they do is worth it. I want to give a shout out to all twelve of them, be caused they helped the campaign go so far:

Max -

Mariam -

Kris -

Lydia -

Vey/Autumn -

Anjali-

Kristin/K-

Corey-

Carlotta-

Lacey-

Charis-

Rose-

So, that's the big story on how I came to be inspired to create ! : )

Q2: What does life after Suicide mean to you?

A: Life after suicide, to me, means that you still may suffer but you need to reach out. Reach out to the people who love and care for you. Look out to God and pray. I've prayed about it and I'm doing ok. I'm a living example of life after suicide. I have never committed suicide, yet I have self-harmed before. I stopped and I will never do it again. That blade doesn't mean anything. What will a few scars help?? Just pray, love, and live, even if you don't want to. If I wasn't alive today, my sister would be an only sister, and my mom would have fought tooth and nail for nothing (that's a whole other story).

Q3: What advice would you give a suicidal person?

A: I'd tell them this:

"You have a purpose. I have a picture on the mirror in my bathroom that says:

'JUST THINK,

You're here not by chance,

But by God's choosing.

His hands formed you

And made you

The person you are.

He compares you to no one else-

You're one of a kind.

You lack nothing

THAT HIS GRACE CAN'T GIVE YOU.

He has allowed you to be here

At this time in history

To fulfil His special purpose

For this generation.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 states 'To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heavens'. God made you to be here for a special reason. When I was born, I weighted 1 lbs. 10 oz. and I was barely a foot tall. I was born in July when I was supposed to be born in October. So that tells you a bunch. I was in the NICU for 100 days before I was to be brought home. I was supposed to be born with cerebral palsy and many other defects. But here I am today, almost a freshman. I wasn't supposed to be tall; I'm around five and a half feet tall or something or another.

Q4: What are your top 5 personal reasons to live?

A: Top five reasons to live:

1 Live for God. His son died for you (John 3:16)

2 Live for your family; where would they be without you? I know some people may not have good home lives but still.

3 Live for your friends. They'd miss not having you around.

4 One day, you may meet your one. Don't you want love?

5 Lastly, live to show people you made it. Be a living example, like I am, to show others YOU CAN MAKE IT!!! Inspire them.

Interview with StopSuicides_ (Spanish Campaign)

Interviewer: Amanda (AmandaTayteTait)

Interviewed: DaughterOfZeus11

Q: What motivated you to start this campaign?

A: 1) a friend of mine used to cut and I could not stand it, since I have always wanted to help people because a part of me understand them. A few months ago I happened something that made me wonder about if I wanted to live or not, but I was able to overcome it and I decided to create the campaign with the help of the amazing people that I love very much.

Q2: What does life after Suicide mean to you?

A: 2) I did not understand very well the question, what does it mean for me life after the suicide? I guess that is a series of challenges that go beyond to demonstrate to all that yes you can continue.

Q3: What advice would you give a suicidal person?

A: 3) Be strong, we must not allow other hurt us. Cut is not the solution, cut not will help you with your problems. You are the one who has the power, not the knife. Each has its purpose in this world, there are only to be found.

Q4: What are your top 5 personal reasons to live?

A: 1- My sister and my dog.

2- able to meet all my goals.

3- be able to travel to other countries and meet new people.

4 - Get to know my idols (thing unlikely but is good dream).

5- to be able to read all the books that I have always wanted and see all the series and movies as well.