Trigger warnings: extreme mentions of death and suicide, neglect, brief mention of nausea, underage drinking and drug usag, suicide attempt.

This is basically the entire chapter, so if you don't think you can handle it, there will be a brief description at the end.

The lights were moving, shining bright in everyone's eyes in the otherwise dark room. The music was loud, moving the floor because of the base. Bodies were moving against each other, dozens of people moving with the beat.

     A young boy was standing against a wall, definitely to young to be at a place like that, old enough to not have anyone caring though. He was sipping at his drink, the alcoholic beverage slowly blocking out all of the boys thoughts. And he had a lot of them.

     He has decided tonight he would kill himself. He has decided his life wasn't worth living anymore. This will be his last complete day, the last night he will go to sleep in his bed. He didn't know why he went to that party as usually he didn't like them a lot and just goes to get drunk. Did he want to spend his last day with people for some reason? Or maybe he just wanted the vodka. He didn't quite know.

     He wanted to die at 2 a.m.. He didn't know why this exact time, it's just what he decided on. Before that, he needed to get home.

(Y/n) kept on checking the time.

23:53 p.m.

00:08 a.m.

00:20 a.m.

00:36 a.m.

00:49 a.m.

00:53 a.m.

00:57 a.m.

00:59 a.m.

01:00 a.m.

It was time to go home.

"I'm leaving early", the young boy said to his "friend", Nakamura Asa. A boy in his class, who never gave two shits about (Y/n), but still kept inviting him to parties, probably because (Y/n) always brought some alcohol or drugs with him. Still, Nakamura claimed to be his friend. (Y/n) didn't care what Nakamura called him, he didn't have a reputation to care about being seen with the school junky.

Nakamura was dancing erotically with a random girl (Y/n) hasn't ever seen before. He hoped he was gonna be dead by the time Nakamura send him about how good of a lay she was. "Alright dude, get home well and all", he spoke, his eyes not leaving his dance partner.

     (Y/n) just nodded, knowing that Nakamura didn't notice and probably also didn't care, and went home. He walked quick, with a purpose. The streets of Miyagi were quiet and still, nearly no cars in sight, the drivers of the few cars looking like sleepless zombies.

Everyone was tired.

(Y/n) more so in a different way.

     The walk home felt agitating. The boy took a good look around, knowing that he will see this place for the last time.

     He was never attached to his surroundings. He was never attached to anything, yet he wanted to see every thing again, just once for the last time.

     He looked at the houses of his neighbors, the same neighbors who have seen (Y/n) coming home drunk and instead of judging, rather helped him get home safely. The ones who have been worried about him if he got home late, more than his own parents.

     He should definitely mention them in his suicide note. Making sure that they know how thankful he was while still under the living.

Like mechanically, (Y/n) made his way into his house. There was no need to be quiet, as his mother, who raised the boy by herself, was not home yet again. Probably out partying, making out with guys half her age.

01:34 a.m.

He still had time to spare. He needed to do it at 2:00 a.m.

Exactly at 2:00 a.m., since it is an even number. No minute earlier, no minute later.

(Y/n) went into the kitchen and made himself a colorful bowl of fruits he liked and still had at home, which wasn't to much. Some strawberries, blueberries, then he pealed a banana and put that in as well.

Without a thought in the world, the boy went upstairs into the bathroom with his fruit bowl. If he was going to kill himself in there he didn't need to go anywhere else again, nowhere which could hold him back, like his nostalgic feeling room.

While eating his last meal, the boy decided to write his suicide note on some toilet paper. There wasn't much to be written, he didn't want to make his death a big thing, he just thought he owed his close ones an explanation.

This is (Y/n), while I was still alive. I kill(ed) myself at exactly 2:00 a.m. It is currently 1:40 a.m. as I'm writing this.
You probably wonder why. What is my reasoning for laying dead on the bathroom floor? Life is meaningless. It has no flavor, nothing ever changes, especially when it seems like you've already done every thing.
I'm sorry if there is someone I disappointed, but I doubt there is. Except for Mister and Misses Ito. I'm sorry to you it I disappointed you by not staying, but it was for the best, and you know it.
I don't think I'll be missing out.
To make it clear for police, this was a 100% suicide and there was no one else involved. This is just about me and my issue with the world and addiction. I hope others will have it easier as I did.
- (Y/n)

1:58 a.m.

Almost time.

(Y/n) stood up from the floor and left the note neatly on the bathroom sink, as he opened the cabinet to find all kinds of pills.

Having a drug addict as a mother and being a drug addict himself has left his house to be stocked with pills in every corner. It was almost to easy to just kill himself just like that.

Oxycodone. A drug which can be deadly, ten times stronger than morphine. A mix of oxycodone and alcohol and lead to strong side effects of the pill, such as tiredness, a hard time breathing, or even Death. Oxycodone is supposed to be taken with only 2 pills a day with a whole of 6 hours between each take in.

(Y/n) has done his research.

1:59 a.m.

He opened the cab and took out 5 of the pills, before opening his bag, revealing half a bottle of pure vodka. A deadly mix.

2:00 a.m.

With a look on his phone, (Y/n) shut it off, not wanting to get disturbed, before then consuming the medicine with quite to many sips of vodka.

He wanted this to be over.

Almost immediately he collapsed as gravity suddenly got to much to him, the alcohol from earlier and the vodka quickly catching up to the boy. He wasn't unconscious, he was just laying there.

The boy felt dizzy, the whole world spinning around him, before he then felt nauseous. He felt vomit crawling up his throat, but he barely noticed.

It was like his mind shut off, as he fell unconscious, not a thought in the world.

He thought he entered heaven, as he opened his eyes to see a tiny house and flowers all around him.

••••••••••
This is the start of "Tsukishima's Suicide Garden"! Keep in mind that this book is gonna cover a lot of triggering topics, so stay safe while reading. Much love to anyone struggling, feel free to reach out <3

(1273 Words)