I didn't want to be here. I was perfectly content wallowing at home. I was perfectly content crying into the many tubs of ice cream I recently purchased. But, no. Danielle had to pull the best friend card when she asked me to come with her to show her cousin, Dan, around. 

Danielle even guilt-tripped me by bringing a new dress she got for me when she ambushed me. That was Danielle, though. She just showed up at your house with a new dress, guilt-trips, and asks you for a favor you couldn't say no to. After thirty minutes of a pointless argument I knew I wouldn't win, I showered and got all dolled up.

Now...here we were.  

"Would you ladies like another drink," Dan asked. 

"I'm good."

Danielle rolled her eyes. "She will take a Vodka-soda and nothing for me. I'm still nursing my margarita." 

Dan flashed a charming smile. "You got it."

When Dan left to get the drinks, I blew air between my lips. "Can I leave soon? I'm tired and I want to crawl in bed to watch a movie." 

"No, you can't leave. You promised to do this—"

"You forced me, actually."

"—and I needed to get you out of that hole."

"My apartment isn't a hole."

"It is when you haven't showered or eaten anything but ice cream and pizza, and watched nothing but Nicholas Sparks movies."

I feigned confusion. "Who's been doing that?"

"You."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Let me do me. I'm not hurting anyone."

Danielle scoffed. "Actually, you're hurting two people." 

Shit. I really was. That night I told Jackson I needed a break was devastating. Even though I regretted it, and wished I could take it back, I knew it needed to happen. We wanted different things. Things between us had changed since we met and I needed to think about...everything. But goddamn I missed him. 

I couldn't even sleep in our bed without him. I'd been alternating between the guestroom and the couch since he left. Thankfully, I had my work to keep me busy in the day time. Work was a good distraction. But all too soon, five o'clock came and it was time to go home. Lanie, Karma, and Danielle had been trying to get me out and about, but I barely left the house. Like Danielle said, all I did was order in pizza, eat ice cream, and think about Jackson and what he wanted. 

A baby. The revelation that he wanted a child hit me like a freight train. Jackson Reese. The same Jackson Reese that never committed. The same Jackson Reese that said he never wanted children when we started officially dating. But when little Nate was born, everything changed. He changed. 

"Stop thinking about it."

I glanced to Danielle. "I'm not."

"You keep twirling your ring. And your eyes are red." 

I cursed under my breath. "Sorry."

"It's okay," she said softly. "I'm just worried about you." 

So was I. "I'm fine. Actually, thank you, for getting me out tonight. I needed some fresh air." 

"You're welcome." Danielle smiled. "If I hadn't you would have probably turned into a couch."

I laughed at that. Danielle was something else. 

"Here you go, Harper." 

I turned and saw that Dan returned with my Vodka-soda. "Thank you." I took it from him and took a drink. God, that was good. 

I glanced back at Danielle's cousin. He was young. Fresh out of college, he came here to see the city. His attempt to hit on me when we were first introduced was stopped by Danielle giving him a firm warning to stay away. She told him I was married and off-limits. I was grateful for the save, even though I was going to tell him the same thing. I had no interest in talking to or dating anyone else. There was only one Jackson Reese. 

"So how are you liking the bar?" Danielle asked her cousin. 

"It's pretty sweet. I can't believe you guys own it." He looked around the bar in wonderment and took a gulp of his drink. "Oh! I met the manager. He's pretty cool."

Danielle laughed. "Yeah, Nate's a good guy." 

Dan shook his head. "No. He said his name was Jackson. British guy."

Danielle and I looked at each other. 

"Oh, no."
"Fucking shit."

Dan was clearly confused. "What's wrong?"

I handed my drink to Danielle and started hustling towards the bar. There was no doubt he knew I was here. I didn't know how I knew, I just did. When I got to the bar, I looked down the long counter. No Jackson. 

"Hey, Jake!" I called to the server. 

He came over immediately. "Hey, Harper. You looking for Jackson?"

I nodded. "Where is he?" 

"He went into the office a few minutes ago." 

"Thanks!" I hurried to the back of the bar and passed the restrooms. When I got to the office, I hesitated before opening the door. I took a deep breath, and stepped inside. 

Jackson was sitting at the desk with a glass of whiskey in his hand. His eyes met mine for a moment before he looked away. 

"Jackson, I need to explain—"

"There's nothing to explain, Harper." 

Harper. I hated when he called me that. He only called me that when he was being distant. "Yes, there is. It's not what it looked like. I swear I'm not—"

"It's fine," he snapped and got to his feet. He drank the rest of the whiskey. "Go and do...whatever."

He turned away from me and stalked around the office. He was hurt. I could tell. He just needed to let me explain.

"I'm not doing anything, Jackson. Danielle dragged me out of the house to help—"

"Is this how it felt for you?"

That stopped me cold. "What...?"

"The night I kissed that girl when I tried to push you away—is this how it felt for you?" 

The pain in his eyes was paramount. He genuinely thought I was here with someone else. A part of me was furious and hurt that he would think such a thing. But there was that other part of me that tried to put myself in his position. I'm the one who wanted the break. I'm the one who wanted him to move out. We haven't even spoken in a week. Then he sees me here, on a night that he was supposed to be off, with another guy. Yeah, I would be hurt, too, if the roles were reversed. 

I pushed the anger aside for now. I needed to tell him the truth. I took a step towards him, but stopped when he retreated. I stayed where I was.

"Jackson, I'm so sorry that you thought I was here with someone else. That's Danielle's cousin."

His brows drew together. "Her cousin?" 

"Yes. He's visiting. The first thing Danielle did when we got here was tell him that I was off limits." My voice lowered. "That I was married." 

His eyes flicked to my ring finger. He was checking to see if I was still wearing it. There was a fraction of a second the other day when I considered taking it off. I couldn't. I didn't think I could ever take it off. 

Jackson stared at me for the longest time. Was he waiting for me to leave? Because I wasn't going anywhere until he believed what I was telling him. I might need space from him to figure some stuff out, but I refused to let him believe that I'd moved on. 

"Say something," I pleaded. I needed to know what he was thinking. "You believe me, right?" Surely, he would know I wouldn't lie to him about something like this. 

"Yes," he finally answered raggedly. "Yes, I believe you." 

"Then why are you looking at me like that?" 

Something I couldn't name passed over his expression. It reminded me of the first night I met him. It was dark and mysterious. Possessive. 

"I cant—I know I have no real claim over you right now. I know that. But when I imagined you with that guy..." He couldn't even finish his sentence. He closed his eyes tight and winced, like he was picturing it now. 

I closed the small distance between us and cupped his face with my hands. "Don't think about it. It would never happen." His eyes met mine. "Do you hear me? Never. I'm still yours, Jackson." 

His eyes dropped to my mouth and I knew what I needed to do. I brushed my lips against his and licked at them teasingly. I knew he was holding on by a thread. I wanted him to lose control, though. I wanted him to know that I was his. I reached for his hand and brought it under my dress, between my legs I pressed his fingers to my wet panties and he groaned. 

"Feel that? I'm yours, Jackson." I moved my hand and he continued to stroke me. 

"I can't..."

"Take me, Jackson. Right here. On this desk." I kissed him now, my tongue delving into his mouth. "Show me I'm still yours..."

That did it. It was like a bull being unleashed. Jackson gripped my waist and lifted me up on his desk. He spread my legs and stepped between them, pressing his hard erection right against my aching core. My fingers twined around the back of his neck as he continued to kiss me deep. 

God, yes. This is what I'd been missing. I loved when Jackson lost control like this. I loved when he—

Knock-knock-knock

"Hey, boss?"

"Later," Jackson growled as he continued to kiss me. 

After two of his employees previously walked in on us going at it in his office, they've learned to knock. 

"It's an emergency." 

"Motherfucker." Jackson met my gaze. "I have to go." 

When he moved to step away, I grabbed his waist to stop him. "We need to finish this." 

He looked into my eyes. I knew he needed this as much as I did. But I also knew that if it happened again, that was going to be it. 

Jackson stroked my bottom lip with his thumb. "Meet me here Friday night." He gave me a hard, sound kiss before he left me alone in his office. 

Friday. That was a few days from now. I couldn't fucking wait. 

As I slid off of his desk and fixed my dress, I only had one thought. 

What the fuck was I doing?