"You got somethin' for me?"
A corner of my mouth lifted as I held up the bag in my left hand. "Triple chocolate cake. All for you, vixen."
She stepped back and held her front door open. "You may enter."
I walked past her and headed straight for the kitchen. The sound of the front door closing, followed by the soft patter of her feet, told me she was following right behind me. I sat the bag on the counter before I pulled the cake out and opened it. I reached over to where Lanie's clean dishes were drying and grabbed a knife.
"Would you like a big piece or a small piece?"
"Surprise me."
I snorted with amusement and cut her a medium-sized piece. After I set it on the plate, I grabbed a fork and walked over to where she was sitting at the small table. I placed it in front of her and sat down in the other chair. As I watched her take a bite, I noticed how...different seemed today. She barely made eye contact with me. She wasn't mocking me and making jokes like she usually did. She wasn't Lanie.
"You're staring," she said flatly as she took another bite. "Something on your mind?"
I leaned back in the chair and tapped my finger on the table. "I was going to ask you the same thing."
"I'm fine."
"Liar, liar," I teased and leaned forward. "Lanie, you know you can talk to me. What is it? I want to help."
She looked up at me, but didn't say anything. Her green eyes were pained-they lacked the usual spark that made her uniquely Lanie. "Has Harper told you anything about me lately?"
Fuck. I knew something was going on. "No. She didn't."
Lanie ran a hand through her hair and exhaled a deep breath. It took her a good ten minutes before she spoke. I didn't care though. I would have sat there for days until she was ready. When Ayden and Nate had gone missing overseas, Lanie and I formed a strong bond. A true friendship. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for this girl. Even if Harper and I hadn't worked things out when we were separated, nothing would have changed between Lanie and myself.
"I had a doctor's appointment today," she said softly.
Motherfucker. My heart started pounding against my chest. It took all my energy to keep my composure. "You don't have to tell me more if you don't want to, Lanie."
As much as I was dying to know what the appointment was about, I didn't want her to feel pressured to tell me. The last thing I wanted was for her to be uncomfortable. But goddammit, I wanted to know. I needed to know that she was okay.
She cleared her throat before she finally said, "I've been so scared over the past few weeks."
"Scared of what?"
She stood up so quickly, the sound of the chair legs screeching across the floor was like a scream. Lanie started pacing in silence. Back and forth. Back and forth. And again a third time. She crossed her arms over her chest. Inhale. Exhale.
I turned in my chair and kept my eyes on her. I wanted to get up and hug her; but it wasn't the time. Not yet. I needed to wait for her to open up. And if she didn't, then that was okay to. I had plenty of experience in my life with shit you just didn't want to talk about. I fucking knew what that felt like.
"I've been scared," she repeated so quietly, I barely heard it. "I've been terrified that I wouldn't be able to have another baby."
Okay, that wasn't what I was expecting her to say. "Why would you think that?" She gave me a look and it clicked together in my head. "The car accident."
Fuck. FUCK. I remembered that fucking day clearly. Harper had been on the phone with Lanie when it happened, and I would never forget the hours that followed. Or Harper's reaction. Harper heard the accident. The call dropped. Then I heard it. I was in the kitchen fixing something to eat. Harper's ear-shattering, gut-wrenching scream ripped through our apartment. I ran into our bedroom and found Harper on her knees as she cried and stared at the phone in her hand.
I didn't know what to think at first. Didn't know what to do. When I finally got her to settle down enough to tell me what happened, I called 9-1-1 and reported the accident. Even though a bystander probably already had, I wasn't taking any chances. Then Harper and I went to fill Nate in on the situation. She wanted to call him, but I convinced her it needed to happen in person. I had no idea how I kept it together that day. Well, I guess I did. It was for her. If I had lost it, I wouldn't have been able to be there for Harper.
When Lanie and Jack's life was hanging in the balance at that hospital, I had never been so scared. Not since my mother. Lanie meant a lot to me. If I was being brutally honest, she was the first real best friend I had ever had. Sure, I had close friends growing up, and I had Ryan, but that was different. Lanie was the real deal, and I couldn't imagine her not in my life.
"Does Ayden know?" I asked curiously. If Ayden didn't know... "Does he know that you're worried?"
She wrapped her arms around herself and nodded. "Yes. I told him when you and Harper were in London. He said I had nothing to worry about. He reminded me that they checked me over several times in the hospital. But to ease my mind, he made an appointment and went with me."
The look on her face made me think the news wasn't good. But for some reason, I had a feeling that wasn't the case. "What did they say?"
Seconds trickled by. Then those seconds turned into minutes. It felt like an hour went by before she finally turned towards me. Her voice was a broken whisper. "I'm fine." She covered her mouth with her hand and I didn't miss the tears forming in her eyes. "I'm absolutely fine. I can-" deep breath from Lanie, "-I can have another baby."
I got up from the chair and approached her. I placed my hands on the tops of her arms and ran them up in down, hoping to soothe her. "That's fantastic news. So why are you crying?"
She looked up at me-those green eyes of hers were holding so much pain and sorrow that it nearly crippled me.
"I was in an accident, Jackson. An accident that nearly killed me and little Nate. I had trauma to my abdomen...and I'm fine." She shook her head slowly. "Harper's never been in an accident. She never had any kind of physical trauma. So why? Why, Jackson? After everything I went through, why can I have another child, but she can't?"
My hands froze on her forearms. My chest tightened. My breath caught. I knew it wasn't her intention to remind me of what I couldn't have; but...fuck. Every time I thought about that unfortunate reality, it was like a knife in my heart. I meant what I said about adopting. I still did. But it didn't change the fact that deep down I still wished for me and Harper to have a baby that was a part of me and a part of her.
Wishes, wishes, wishes.
"Look at me, vixen." When she didn't lift her eyes, I gently grabbed her chin and tilted her head up, forcing her wyes to meet mine. "I don't ever want to hear that you feel guilty again. Do you hear me? You should be relieved and happy that you can have another child."
"But I don't-"
"No 'but's'. It's that simple." I exhaled a deep breath and gave her a genuine smile. "Do you know how scared I was when you told me you thought you couldn't have another baby? I was fucking terrified. You mean so bloody much to me, Lanie. Second only to Harper. Understood?"
She nodded, but the look in her eyes still worried me.
I moved my fingers from her chin and cupped her cheek. "I am so happy that Jack will be able to have a little brother or sister. I'm so fucking happy for you guys."
"It's little Nate," she said softly, correcting me.
I chuckled at that. "So it is." I pulled her in for a tight embrace. "I love you, vixen. I don't ever want to see guilt in your eyes when it comes to me and Harper's situation. Ever. We are going to have a family. One way or another."
She tightened her arms around me. "I love you, too, Jackson. And...thank you."
I pulled back from her with a smile. I wiped a tear as it fell onto her cheek. "Now, how about we watch a movie and eat some cake while we wait for Harper to get done with her errands."
"Errands?" Lanie frowned. "She's not running errands. She said she was-" Her eyes went wide the instant she realized she was betraying Harper's secret. "Right. Errands. She is totally doing errands."
When Lanie turned away from me, I stepped in front of her. "Oh, no. Nice try. Where the hell is she?"
Lanie kept her mouth closed, not saying a word.
"Tell me, Lanie. Or I'm going to get her location off of GPS."
Lanie squeezed her eyes shut before she finally confessed, "She's at her mother's."
I reached out and gripped the counter. She was at... "Why? Why is she there?"
The front door opened and we both turned to see Harper walk through it.
"Well," Lanie whispered, "looks like you get to ask her that yourself, Mr. Greek God."
Too-fucking-right.
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