I took two steps into the apartment I shared with Harper and I knew. I fucking knew something was different. It didn't feel like home.

If I was being honest, it hadn't felt like home in awhile. We had been together for almost two years; but these past six months had been rough. My greatest fear was that I was going to lose her one day. That I was going to do something stupid, and it was going to cost me her. Again. I made that mistake once—and I refused to do it a second time.

When I walked into our kitchen, Harper had her back to me as she poured her glass of wine. I stood there for a moment and studied her. She was wearing the same red cocktail dress she had on when she came into the bar. She had her blond hair up and curly. My eyes ran further down her body. She was still wearing the high-heels from earlier tonight, too. Even with my sour mood, I wanted for her. I always wanted her.

"Hey, princess," I said quietly.

Her shoulders stiffened before she finally turned towards me. Her eyes were red and watery, and my heart felt like someone stabbed me.

"Hey," she said softly.

I leaned back against the counter, crossing my arms over my chest. I was feeling such a wide range of emotions right now, I didn't know how to express myself. She was the only woman I had ever been in a relationship with—the only woman I'd ever loved.

This was why I didn't fucking do this commitment shit. It hurt too fucking much.

"Say it," I told her roughly. "It's not real unless you say it."

Her bottom lip quivered and I had to force myself to stay where I was. I wanted to go to her. I wanted to pull her body against mine. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and tell her that it was going to be okay. That we were going to be okay. But I didn't.

"Jackson, I think—" Her voice caught on a sob. "I think we need to take a break."

"A break? What the fuck does that mean?" I knew how my voice sounded, but I didn't fucking want this. I wanted her. Now she wanted a fucking break? Suddenly I thought of that FRIENDS episode and I felt sick.

"We need some time apart from each other, Jackson. We need space."

Surprisingly, my voice held strong. "I don't need space. I know what I want. I want you." There was no one else in the world that compared to her.

Her eyes closed briefly. "I need space, Jackson. We want different things. It hasn't been working for awhile."

I pushed off the counter and started pacing in the kitchen. Ever since Harper's best friend, Lanie, had her son, little Nate, I've become quite attached to him. The more time I spent with him, the more I started to believe I was father material. When I first brought the subject up to Harper, it didn't go over well. At all.

"Hey, beautiful," I whispered as I came up behind Harper. I slid my arms around her waist and placed lazy kisses on her neck.

"Hey, yourself."

"How was your day?" I asked her, never taking my lips off of her soft skin.

She turned in my arms, wrapping hers around my neck. "It was good. Glad to be home." She leaned into me and pressed her lips against mine. She buried her hand in the hair at the nape of my neck and moaned into my mouth.

"You know what I was thinking?"

"Does it have anything to do with getting naked and you having me scream your name?" Her eyes were heated and she playfully licked at my lips. God, the things this woman did to me... There was no one like her. She was it. She was the one.

I chuckled darkly. "That can be arranged. But I was thinking about something more...personal."

"What can be more personal than you giving me multiple mind blowing orgasms?"

When she tried to unbuckle my belt, I stayed her hands. "A baby."

She froze immediately. "What?"

I reached up and cupped her cheek in my hand. "I've been thinking about this for awhile, princess. Can you imagine if we had a kid?" I smiled so wide my cheeks hurt. "It would be so amazing. We would have a family."

She took a few steps back and kept her gaze averted. She wrapped her arms around herself like she were suddenly cold. "How long—I mean...what brought this on?"

I frowned and shrugged one shoulder. "I've just been spending a lot of time with little Nate and it just came to me. Once it did, it just felt right. I never realized how much I wanted a family." When she didn't say anything, I got worried. "Princess, what's the matter?"

She met my stare and there was an unbreakable resolve. "We agreed in the beginning that we didn't want kids."

"I know that, but things change. I thought that—"

"No, Jackson." She cleared her throat and started to walk away. "I haven't changed...but you clearly have."

My thoughts came back to the present and I couldn't stop what came out of my mouth next.

"So, that's it then? After everything we've been through...you're giving up—just throwing 'us' away?"

She covered her mouth with her hand and the tears started to fall. "Of course not! I never said that, Jackson. I just need space. A break."

I put my fingers to my temples. "What the fuck does that mean? Are you leaving me or not?" That's when something became clear to me. "You want me to leave, don't you? You want me to move out?"

Her voice started to shake. "Not for good, Jackson. Please. I just need to figure some stuff out."

"Figure...stuff...out." I said the words slowly, like she just gave me the hardest riddle in my life. I had no idea how much time passed before I spoke again. "Do you still...do you not love me anymore?"

I didn't think I could take it if she said no. I would be ruined. Completely fucking ruined, if she said no. But I needed to ask the question. I needed to know the answer.

She came up to me and placed her hands on my chest. "Of course I still love you. So much." Her tears started to fall harder now. "I'm not saying this is over. I still want to be with you. I just need—"

"Space," I finished for her. I clenched my teeth as I looked into her eyes. "You have no idea how hard this is for me, princess. Every instinct in my body is telling me not to leave you. We belong together. I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

She didn't say anything back. I didn't blame her. I reached up and wiped her tears away.

"What have I always told you? No one is worth your tears, princess. No one. Not even me." I stepped back from her and slipped my hands in my pockets. If I didn't, they would be all over her. "I'll go, uh, get my stuff. I'll just check into a hotel or something."

I started walking to our—I mean her—bedroom. I grabbed my duffle bag from the closet and went over to the dresser. I opened the third drawer and my chest tightened. Seeing our clothes mixed together was a punch to the gut. Was this really happening? Maybe it was a bad dream. Maybe I fell asleep in my car when I pulled up here. Yeah, right.

When I opened the top drawer, I saw...it. The little black box. It took everything for me to not break down right then and there. I would never forget the day I got that for her...

"I know how we both feel about marriage, Harper—and I know that hasn't changed. That's why I'm not going to get down on one knee and ask you to marry me. I already consider you my wife. And I am your husband. But this—," I took the ring out of the box, "—this is a way to show the world that you are mine. That we are committed and completely in love with each other."

I glanced to the necklace that I gave her. "I know I proclaimed something similar when I gave you that necklace, but this is different. A wife wears a ring given to her by the man she loves." My eyes searched her face. "So, what do you say, princess? Will you wear this ring and continue to make me the happiest man in the world?"

I slammed the drawer shut and turned to leave. I couldn't stay in this room another minute. Not when my mind kept wondering if she was going to take that ring off once I left. Holy fuck...what if she did? What if I saw her again, and she wasn't wearing it? I couldn't even stomach the thought.

I walked out of what used to be my bedroom and started for the front door. I stopped in the middle of the living room. I couldn't leave without—I turned around and my eyes met hers.

Harper wrapped her arms around herself. Was she trying to keep herself grounded? To keep herself from running to me? The way the tears spilled down her cheeks was all the answer I needed. Instead of going to her, I walked to the front door and paused when I grabbed the knob.

Without looking back at her, I choked out, "I'm not giving up on us, princess. Ever."

Then I left, dragging my feet to my car. This whole thing felt weird. Surreal. I wanted to scream. I wanted to break something.

I got in the driver's seat and just sat there. I didn't even turn the car on. Where was my duffle bag? Did I even put it in the car? Or did I leave it in the apartment? If I left it in the apartment, I couldn't go back. If I went back inside, I wouldn't be able to leave again. That was the one thing I was certain of.

If I went back inside that apartment, I was going to spend the rest of the night trying to convince her that we belonged together—that we were meant for each other.

I glanced in the back seat. There was my duffle bag. Guess I'm not going back inside. I wasn't surprised when I felt the wetness on my face. I wasn't a crier, but this fucking hurt. I leaned my head back against the headrest.

"Maybe this is just a nightmare," I whispered. "Maybe I can still wake up."