Ten days. Ten fucking days. Two-hundred-forty hours. Fourteen-thousand-four-hundred minutes.
And eight-hundred-sixty-four-thousand seconds.
Give or take. 

That's how long it's been since I've spoken to, seen, or fucked the love of my life. And I was going bat-shit crazy. I missed her more than I thought humanly possible. I dreamed about her every damn night. Then there was the few times I almost went against her wishes and showed up at her—no, our—place. I didn't care if I wasn't sleeping there currently. It was still the home that I shared with her until she said she was through with me. Or not. I had no fucking idea. 

I didn't know if she wanted to be with me at this point or not. Was she missing me? Was she thinking about me? Was she okay? I've been getting reports from Lanie and Karma that she was 'doing well'. They refused to break the girl code and give me any details, but they at least eased my mind in the terms of her safety and mental status. I asked Lanie if Harper had someone to talk to, and she explained that Harper had been spending a lot of time with Jamie. 

At least she was talking to someone. Although, I had the sinking feeling that she should be talking to me. What the hell was bothering her? I mean, besides the obvious. I was hoping maybe my desire to have a baby with her would go away. I tried to talk myself out of it over the past week. Delusions of grandeur, I told myself. But that didn't bloody work. I still longed to have a son or daughter with Harper. To have a real family. 

As much as I loved my mother, I wondered what my life would have been like had she and my father stayed together. Luckily, I had Ryan. Even though we didn't see each other much, and eventually grew estranged, he was my brother.  He was the only family I had since...since my mum passed. I didn't think of Damien Hale as my father. He never really earned that title where I was concerned. 

Then there was Harper. I considered her family, too. More so than Ryan. But even that was on shaky ground. If I went this crazy without her for just ten days, how was I going to be if she ended it with me? Who would I be? 

"Hey, Jackson! Someone's asking for you!" Jake yelled through my office door. 

I got up from my desk and dragged my feet to the door. I opened it and met his tired expression with one of my own. "Do you know who it is?" I didn't feel like dealing with an annoyed customer. Or any customers. I just wanted to stay in my office tonight and work on paperwork. 

Jake shook his head. "No. Mya just told me to come get you." 

"Alright. Thanks." 

I walked down the hallway until I got to the bar. Before I could even step behind it, someone blocked my path. 

"Hey there, handsome."

Oh...fuck. "Jenn. Sorry, but I can't talk. I need to help a customer."

I tried to side-step the red-head who seemed to be obsessed with me. "I'm the one who asked for you, Jackson. You've been cooped up in that dusty office and I was hoping we could have a drink together." 

What the fuck was wrong with this woman? Every time she came in here, she tried to hit on me. I repeatedly told her that I was off limits and she needed to stop. If she kept this up, I was going to have to ban her from the bar. 

"Jenn, you seem like a nice girl, but I'm with Harper." I tried to turn away from her and go back to my office, but she reached for my arm. 

"No, you're not."

I turned to her with an arched brow. "Excuse me?"

She stepped closer to me. "I know you guys aren't together. You haven't been for a little while now. Which means, you are available."

"Okay, I don't know how the hell you know that stuff, but I'm still involved with Harper."

"Please," she sneered. "What does she have that I don't?" Jenn leaned forward to whisper in my ear. "I would drive you crazy. Let me prove it to you." 

I felt sick. I took a few steps back and waved for the bouncer to come over where we were. "Jenn, you and me—" I gestured between our bodies. "—never going to happen. Ever. Get it through your head. Whether I'm with Harper or not. Now, you need to leave." 

"Jackson, I don't think you really want to mess with me."

"You need me, boss?" Mike, the bouncer asked. 

"Get her out of here. And make sure she doesn't step foot in this bar again."

After Mike escorted my new stalker out of the bar, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I stalked back to my office, shutting the door behind me as I grabbed my phone. I didn't even bother glancing at the caller-ID. 

"What."

"That's no way to great your best friend," Nate quipped into the receiver. 

I snorted and sat in my chair. "What's up, mate?" 

"Rough night?"

"More than you know," I sighed. "But I don't want to talk about it right now. Not until I can get hammered on some bourbon."

"Funny you should say that. I'm inviting you to dinner." 

I arched a brow. "Dinner?"

"Is there an echo? Yeah, dinner. You know, where you sit around a table and eat some grub with people you like. It's at Ayden's house tomorrow. He's having a barbecue." 

A barbecue at Ayden's house. A barbecue at Ayden's house. What the fuck? Was this a setup? It definitely felt like a setup. Why would he invite me when he knew what was going on with Harper and me? I mean, everybody fucking knew at this point. Even though I was dying to see her, I made a promise to her.

"Jackson? Helloooo?"

I cleared my throat and looked at the picture of Harper and I on my desk. "I don't think that's a good idea, Nate."

After a few seconds of silence, Nate said, "She won't be there."

I scoffed. "Well, if she's not coming because you want to invite me, then I'm definitely not coming. I wouldn't do that to her. Don't you know me at all?"

"Whoa," Nate drawled. "Slow down there, drama queen. She won't be there because she and Lanie are having some girl's night or date or whatever. It's going to be Ayden, Karma and I, Ryan and Danielle, and Jamie."

That gave me pause. Harper really wasn't going to be there? Perhaps I should go. I had kind of been living in solitude these past ten days. I only saw Nate and Ayden at the bar some nights. Other than that, I never left the hotel. They tried to get me out of the hotel, but I just wasn't up to socializing. 

"Little Nate will be there, too, of course," Nate added when I remained silent. 

Goddammit. He was working the guilt angle. I hadn't seen Little Nate either in these ten days. I was worried how it might make me feel to hold him and play with him. But that wasn't fair to him or to me. I missed the little guy. 

"Fine," I mumbled. "When is it?"

I could tell by Nate's tone that he was satisfied that I gave in. "Tomorrow at seven." 

"Wait," I interjected when a thought occurred to me. "If we are all there, who will be here at the bar?" 

"I got that covered. Trust me, Jackson. Don't worry. Just come to the barbecue and have a good time with us. You've been keeping to yourself ever since..."

"It's okay," I rasped, "you can say it."

Heavy sigh from Nate. "Look, I just think this will be good for you. Besides, Karma misses you."

I missed her, too. I missed all of them, actually. "Tell the little dancer I'll see her there."

"Will do. Talk to you later, Jay." 

I hung up the phone and sat it on the des with a thud. My eyes never left the photo of Harper and I. I picked it up and studied it. It was taken last Christmas. We were at Ayden and Lanie's house and had just exchanged presents...

Harper came towards me and perched herself on my lap. "Hey, you," she said with a smile. 

"Hey, princess. Are you enjoying yourself?" 

She nodded and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "Yes. Are you?"

I flashed her a mischievous smile. "Most definitely." She was wearing a red dress that exposed her smooth thighs. I rested my hand against her skin. "But do you know what would be more enjoyable than this, princess?" 

She ran her finger down my chest, her gaze heated. "What's that?" 

I kept my voice low so we weren't overheard. "It's going to be much more fun when we get home and you put on that new lingerie you got." I leaned into her body and brushed my lips against hers. "The one you got from Santa."

She smiled bashfully. "Oh, so you're Santa now? Does that mean when we get home you're going to put on the red Santa suit for me?"

"Depends," I whispered, "have you been naughty...or nice?" 

Lanie's voice broke through our moment. "Hey, lovebirds! Look over here so I can snap this picture." 

Harper and I looked at the camera Lanie was holding and smiled as she snapped the picture. Once she was done, Harper looked back to me and said with a throaty voice, "Definitely naughty." 

I watched as she got up from my lap and walked over to talk to Karma and Nate. Harper Lewis was better than any gift I could have gotten. 

My thoughts came back to the present and I sat the picture back in it's usual spot. That was an amazing night. I had gotten a Santa suit to do this volunteer thing that Harper begged me to do. At first I didn't want to do it, but that night after we went home...it was worth it. She was worth it. 

I exhaled a deep breath and opened the bottom drawer of my desk. I pulled out the bottle of scotch I stashed there. Who knew my night would consist of a stalker, Santa memories, and my favorite scotch. Well...it looked like I was Ubering back to my hotel tonight. 

Again.