11| Pleasurable Decoy
"Are you sure I can't convince you to come back home, sweetheart?"
I ran my fingers over the picture of me and my parents. It was taken when we went to Busch Gardens in Florida one summer. One of the photographers that worked there incessantly asked take our picture, and my father finally agreed. My dad wasn't a fan of rollercoasters, so my mom and I rode almost every single ride together. We had a lot of fun that day.
"This is my home, daddy." I turned away from the picture and walked to the bed I shared with Nathan and sat on the side. "Besides, I have a great support system here. I'm not alone."
On the contrary, sometimes I felt a little too overwhelmed by the amount of support I had. I appreciated everything all of my friends, and Nathan, had done for me, but sometimes I felt smothered by it. I wasn't used to having that kind of support. For the past twelve years, it had just been me and my parents. I had friends in Florida, but after everything I had left behind in New York, I never risked getting close to anyone else. Guy or girl. Now that I was back, Harper and Lanie were constantly checking on me. Then there was Nathan...
He was—and had always been—the love of my life. Having him move in with me was the best thing that had ever happened to me. Even so, with everything going on, we haven't really had a chance to enjoy it yet. I hated how he felt because of my actions. After Jackson helped me that day in Central Park, Nathan and I had a long talk. There were a lot of tears—from both of us—and a lot of apologies. The latter was from me.
I felt horrible for the things I had done. All those nights I went to the bar to get drunk was irresponsible. I was ashamed about putting Jackson in the position that I did. Or the risk of something happening to me with one of the patrons. The truth from all of that came barreling down on me when I talked to Nathan.
But he was Nathan Jenkins—and he loved me more than anything. While he appreciated my apology, he said it wasn't necessary. He surprised me when he opened up to me about some things he was ashamed of. He confided in me about the dark times he went through when his parents died. Things he had done that he wasn't proud of. Things that Lanie didn't even know about.
I feared that Nathan knowing the shameful truth about what I was feeling towards my mother would cause a rift between us. It actually did the opposite. It brought us a lot closer. The breakdown I had with Nathan seemed to help me start the mourning process in a more healthy way. I started journaling. I started jogging in the mornings. I also started to shed some of the anger that I felt towards my mother. I was finally starting to feel like myself again.
"I'm glad," my father said into the receiver. "I just want to make sure you're doing okay. When do you go back to work?"
My job was very gracious and understanding when I told them about my mother's passing. They gave me paid time off for two weeks and even offered more if I needed it.
"I go back in a week." I switched my phone from one shoulder to the other. "I'm actually looking forward to it. I want things to go back to normal. At least, as normal as they can get."
"Good," my dad rasped. "That's good."
I hesitated. "Are you sure you're doing okay, daddy?"
"I'm okay, Karma. I promise."
I wanted to take him at his word, but I still had concerns. I was worried about him having another heart attack. I was also worried about him being so far away and in that house alone. When I drove him to the airport after the service, I promised him that Nathan and I would come and see him soon. I also promised that I would try to fly down as much as I could.
My phone beeped to me know there was someone on the other line. I glanced at the caller-ID and smiled. "Dad? I have a call coming in, can I call you back later?"
"Of course, sweetheart. I love you."
"Love you, too, dad." I switched calls to answer the other line. "Jackson?"
"Hey there, little dancer. I hope you're faring okay."
I got up from my bed and started pacing around the room. "I'm doing better than expected. How are you?"
"I'm well, thank you." He was suspiciously quiet for a moment. "Karma, I have a question for you. Did Nate tell you what happened the night I covered for him at the bar?"
Oh, no...Had something happened? "No, he didn't. Why? What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," he reassured me. "Long story short, I saw Harper at the bar that night and, well, we agreed to meet tonight at the bar. I confided in Ryan to keep Danielle away from the bar and I know Lanie and Ayden are going up to visit Jaime and Cherice, but—"
"Nathan is working tonight," I finished for him.
"Exactly."
"So, is this like a date night, or something?" I asked curiously, hoping that was the case. I really hating seeing two people who meant a lot to me hurting like this.
"Not really a...date night. It's more like—"
When he didn't finish, the truth dawned on me. "Oh. My. GOD! Are you two meeting for a hook-up? Like...break-up sex?"
"Well, I wouldn't say it in such a crass way, but—"
"You are!" I squealed. "This is amazing news. I told you it was going to work out."
"Whoa, whoa. Settle down, little dancer. No one is back together yet. The only reason I am telling you this, is because I need your help."
After everything Jackson had done for me, there was little to nothing I wouldn't do for him. "Of course! How can I help?"
Jackson exhaled a heavy breath. "I need you to keep Nate away from the bar tonight."
Damn. Why did it have to be that? Nate was nothing if not responsible when it came to working at Down the Rabbit Hole. "I don't know, Jackson. He won't take the night off if there isn't—"
"I found someone to cover the bar in his place," he interjected. "Jake's working tonight. I just need you to keep him...entertained at home."
I walked over to my closet and pulled out the box that I kept hidden. I sat it on the bed and removed the top. I smiled as I eyed the contents. "That won't be a problem tonight, Jackson. I got this covered."
Jackson chuckled into the phone. "I knew I could count on you."
"Hey, gorgeous! I'm home."
I smiled when I heard Nathan come in through the front door. "Hey, babe. I'm in the kitchen!"
I could hear him taking off his shoes and dropping his bag on the coffee table. In the day time, he went into work at the bar to do paperwork. He had been planning on staying there all night, but I sent him a text asking him to come home and have an early dinner for me. He had no idea what was really waiting for him.
"How was work?" I asked from where I was waiting.
"It was good. I'm glad you texted me. I needed a little break." His voice got louder as he got closer to the kitchen. "So, what's...for...dinner..."
His mouth dropped when he saw me as his eyes roamed over me. I was perched on the counter, wearing a new red teddy and garter set I was saving as a surprise. I had my red robe on as well.
I crossed my legs and his eyes tracked the movements. "Well, do you like?"
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Nathan stalked towards me slowly. His eyes devouring my body, making me burn. He stopped before me and placed his hands on the counter beside me, caging me in. His lips were a breath away from mine. "To what do I owe this surprise, gorgeous?"
My head fell back when he nuzzled my neck. "I've missed you, Nathan. I want you. Tonight. All night..."
He groaned against my skin before pulling back. "I have to work tonight..."
I leaned forwards and licked at his lips. "I already got your shift covered. Jake will be there." Thank you for that one, Jackson.
Nathan flashed me a charming smile. "Oh, did you?"
"Yes," I moaned when he uncrossed my legs and spread my thighs.
Since my mother had passed, Nathan and I haven't had many passionate nights. Even if Jackson hadn't asked me to keep Nathan busy, I had been planning for a magical night with him. That's why I bought the outfit. I didn't realize until this moment how badly I needed to feel his touch. I needed to connect with him this way more than I needed air to breathe.
"In that case," he ran his hands over my skin, "lay back on the counter."
The corners of my mouth lifted in a smile and I did as he said. Nathan leaned forward and kissed my exposed skin below my teddy. When he started tugging at my panties, my eyes met his and I bit down on my bottom lip. I lifted my hips and he slid the lace down my legs and tossed them aside.
He bent over my body to give me a hot, deep kiss. "I've missed you, gorgeous" he whispered against my lips.
"I've missed you, too." More than he knew.
The dark hunger in his eyes made me shiver. He kissed his way down my body slowly. Torturously. By the time he got where I was craving him the most, I was panting with need. Before he took me into his mouth, he looked up at me. He lifted one of my legs and drew it over his shoulder. His eyes never left mine as his tongue snaked out and he tasted me.
"Nathan..."
There was no holding back after that. Nathan devoured me with his tongue and his fingers. He had me coming against his mouth more times than I could count. It didn't stop there. He was insatiable as he drove his hard erection into me. Thrusting into me hard and fast, it was like he was laying his claim on my body. On me, once again. And I loved it.
The many hours we spent making love tonight—of getting lost in each other—more than made up for lost time.
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