*Thomas* 

"I didnt want them to know." He whispers out, still cuddling close to me. 

"Why not? They deserve to know about their friend's well-being." I'm trying to keep a calm tone. 
"I don't want them to worry." 
I sigh 

"Alex, their your friends. They will worry no matter what." 
"But they shouldn't have to worry about my mental health." 

I will never understand him. 

"Hun, you need to accept that people love you and care about you." 
"I know that! Don't you think I feel bad because of that?" He looks up at me, mixed emotion on his face. 

"Alex, hun what do you mean?" I ask, kind of scared for the answer. 

"I don't like being a burden. I don't like being weak and vulnerable. But I have all these people who care about me and I just push them away because I don't like being weak! But it only hurts them. Which just makes me hate myself more! It becomes an endless cycle and before I know everyone will leave!" 

I turn him around so he can face me. 

His eyes are glassed over and his face is puffy and red. I know he is trying to cover it up, but he isn't succeeding. 

"Alex, do you think we're going to leave you?" 

He looks away. He won't look me in the eyes. 

"Alexander." 

Still no answer. 

"Alexander Hamilton, do you think that we are going to leave you? That I'm going to leave you?" 

He turns and faces me. But he still won't look me in the eyes. 

"Yes. I truly believe that eventually, you all will leave, and I'll be left on my own." 


Nothing but silence follows because I don't know how to respond. 

Be mad that he would think that low of us. 
Be sad that he would think that at all. 
Be worried that he thinks that low of himself. 
Be scared of how that idea came to his mind. 

I don't know. 


So I say anything. I hug him. As tight as I can, truly afraid that if I let him go he'll slip away from me forever. 


*Alex* 

He stares at me, searching my face before he hugs me. 

He hugs me tightly. 

To me, it meant more than words could say. I bury my face in his chest, hugging him as tightly as I can. I don't want to let him go, I don't want him to leave. 


As we sit in this embrace I notice that for the first time since I've woken up after the accident, I'm happy. Even the slightest bit. The euphoria is just barely there, but I could notice it. 

Nothing came after that. He didnt talk and neither did I. 

He played against the bed, with me laying basically on top of him and his arms wrapped around me. 


It was nice. 


I don't know why he won't talk to me. 

Is he mad? 
I don't want to ruin this warmth so I stay quiet. 

I lay here staring at the ceiling, thinking. 

Random thoughts. 

Like, what we will do once I'm released. 

Or what we'll do with Pip's stuff. 

I don't want to get rid of it. I want to keep it and never let it go. 

But Thomas will tell me that no matter how much he doesn't want to, we have to let it go, let him go. 

Look at me creating a scenario. I continue on like this. 

I don't know how long I'm just laying here thinking until my eyes are just droopy. 

"I'm sleepy." 

It's a while before he responds. 

"O-okay. Night love." 
"Night, Tommy." 



*Thomas* 

He snuggled up to me, basically laying on top of me. I wrap my arms around him and rest my chin on his head. 

We sit in silence, and I find my vision blur and some tears drip down. I keep silent, I don't want Lex to know, so I try to suck it up. 

I focus on trying to stop crying. 


"I'm sleepy." I hear him softly say from below me. 
"O-okay. Night Love." 
Shoot. 

I stuttered. 

"Night, Tommy." 

Good. He didnt notice. 




What am I supposed to do with him? 



*Herc* 

 I decided to go back to the hospital. Laf had some work to do so I went on my own. 

 Bringing some coffee for Thomas and Alex. 

Thomas especially. 

Alex may not notice, no one else may notice, but Thomas is so stressed and worried that I think he might break down. 

"Knock, knock. Hey, you tw-" 

Alex is asleep on Thomas. 

Thomas. 



He is stroking Alex's hair, silently crying. His face looks so pained, it hurts.


I quickly walk in and place down the coffee on the nightstand. 


"Thomas, whats wrong?" 

"H-he thinks (sniff) I'm going t-to (sniff) leave him."

"What? Why would he think that?" 

"I...I.." He breathes heavily. 

I knew this was going to happen. 


"Thomas, breath. Okay?" I start to reach to move Thomas to let Thomas have some more space. 

He lurches to cling to Alexander.

"No. Don't move him." 

"Um, okay?" He seems a lot more protective. 

"Why would he think that?" I ask once again. 
"I don't know. He think's he's a burden and he hurts us." 

"why does he think like that?" I hear him mumbling on and on questions, asking no one in particular.

"What do I do?" He asks, seemingly directed towards me. 

"I don't know. Be there for him. Don't falter." 

He nods. 


It's silence for a while. I try to pick up the mood. 

"I brought coffee!" 
"Ooo." 


I hand him his warm coffee to-go cup. 

"Hey, so Laffy got a dog. Maybe you and Alex could meet him when he gets out?" Thomas smiles a little, petting Alex's hair a little. 

"Sure. Sounds like fun." 


The room was peacefully quiet. Occasionally nurses walking in out just checking up on Alex. 



I feel like once Alex is out of the hospital everything will be better. 

Maybe. 




A/N Hey so I'm sorry this is a crappy chapter. They'll get a lot better so stick around. Please. Maybe. Also!  Please go check out -- JazzyBae911
 story! I love it! It's different! So go check that out if ya want. But thanks for reading, commenting and voting and 

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