Hm, honestly this fic is so fun to write, and so is Fyodor. Like, writing Fyodor is so fun and easy?? What does that say about me?? 0_0

"I've decided! I'm gonna help you!"

Fyodor glanced up from his phone to see Mitsuoki bursting through the Game Stop door, a wide smile on his face.

Fyodor rolled his eyes. "Wow, thanks. With what?"

Mitsuoki some how smiled bigger. "Now, I know you need help with a lot of things, but your mental health can wait. I'm talking about your nonexistent love life!"

Fyodor's eyes widen. He's pretty sure Mitsuoki will just mess up his entire life. When, not if, he destroys Fyodor's life, he knows he'll have to find a new job because he wouldn't be able to go within 2 miles of the mall without getting PTSD.

He laughed nervously. "No, Mitsuoki. I don't believe that's necessary."

Mitsuoki frowned. "Look. I know you're having an existential crisis on the inside and you think I'll mess it up—"

"When you mess it up." Fyodor interrupted.

"—but I promise you I won't! I already have an idea of how to get his name."

That made Fyodor pause. He already had a plan?

Begrudgingly, Fyodor asked, "Okay, I might be a little curious..."

Did this kid ever stop smiling? Apparently not, since his grin only grew as he told Fyodor the plan.

¤¤¤

Ryuunosuke was more than a little surprised when he heard the bell on the door ring. It wasn't the sound that startled him, it was the person standing there. It had only been a couple days since the silver haired boy (Ryuunosuke opted to refer to him as Jinko, due to the fact that he reminded him of a tiger.) and his sister had visited the Hot Topic. He wasn't expecting them back so soon.

"Oh, uh... Can I help you?" He started lamely, clearing his throat.

The girl (Kyoka, he learned from Gin) nodded, not saying anything. Ryuunosuke looked to Jinko.

"Yeah, Kyoka was looking for Akutagawa-san? Or, um, Gin-san?" He finished nervously. He looked really tense for some reason.

"They're in the back." Ryuunosuke stated. "I will go get them."

"Thank you," Jinko replied.

He walked to the back in search of Gin, and found them unpacking some anime merch.

"Hey, Gin. That little girl is here again. She's looking for you." He said softly, not wanting to startle them.

Gin smiled and stood straight up. "Thanks, Ryuu." They followed him out and met Kyoka near the front of the store. Ryuunosuke watched.

He heard Gin say it was their lunch break and they could grab some food at a restaurant in the mall.

Jinko looked at him and hesitantly said, "... We could join them?"

Gin perked up at that. "Yeah, Ryuu, you should come along. I'm sure Kyoka wouldn't mind. Right, Kyoka-chan?"

She nodded. "I wouldn't mind at all."

They all filed out the door and searched for the nearest food court. Gin and Kyoka were in the front talking, leaving him and Jinko walking behind them. Ryuunosuke decided to break the silence.

"I don't know your name." Blunt, but it gets the point across. He glances at Jinko.
"Oh! Thats right, haha. It's Nakajima Atsushi." He held his hand out. Ryuunosuke didn't take it. He lowered his hand. "Um..."

The silence returned. Ryuunosuke realized it might be an uncomfortable lunch for two of the participants.

-

In the end, they chose a simple ramen shop. There was some obvious discomfort between Atsushi and Akutagawa, but maybe he was just being stupid. Atsushi was thinking about trying to start up another conversation when his phone rang.

"Ah, excuse me." He said to the group and stood up, walking over to a (fake) plant. He accepted the call without checking to see who it was. (A mistake, he realizes too late)

"Hel—"

"Atsushi! Thank god! Where are you? You're usually here by now!"

"Chuuya? I'm having lunch—"

In the background, he heard someone yell: "You can't run away from me, chibi!"

Now that Atsushi thought about it, Chuuya sounded kind of out of breath.

"Wait, are you running from Dazai again?" There was a hint of disappointment in his tone.

"Yeah, but he can't reach me on the ice, 'cause he's a fuCKING COWARD!" He yelled the last part, making Atsushi wince and pull the phone away. Atsushi heard Dazai respond with: "Just you wait, my pint sized chibikko! Your prince will save you!"

Chuuya screamed. "Fuck fuck fuck FUCKKK HE'S ON THE ICE I REPEAT HE'S ON THE GODDAMN ICE! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR COWARDICE?"

Dazai cackled. Chuuya screamed more. Atsushi hung up.

He sighed. They were pretty close to the rinks... he could hear the faint sound of laughing and shouting. He instantly knew who to blame. Atsushi wonders daily how neither of them have been fired.

He returned to the table where they all sat. He smiled and said, "What'd I miss?"

¤¤

In the ice rink, ABBA played on the speakers. Chuuya was not having the time of his life.

"Chuuuuyyaaaaa~ Don't run away!"

He catches his breath and musters the courage to yell back: "Fuck off! I just want one normal day without you messing with me!"

Dazai's voice sounded closer. "Even you should know not to dream of the impossible!"

Chuuya didn't think when he first got a job here that he'd spend every day running from some creeper who doesn't know when to leave things be. Chuuya also didn't think he'd work at a rundown mall in his entire life, but he is.

Goddammit.

At this point he's not even sure why he's running away, but it feels right to not give this asshole any more satisfaction.

Then he remembered. This all started because Dazai said shoujo had more plot than shounen. A stupid reason, he realizes, but he'd be damned if he didn't go down with Soul Eater.

He stood up with confidence now. He thought about the major crush he'd had on Dr. Stein when he was younger. His gay awakening was nost definitely worth fighting shitty Dazai over.
"I'm done!" Chuuya shouted, his voice reverberating through the ice rink. "I'm fucking done! I will not let you get away with saying Sailor Moon is better than any shounen. Fight me!"

Dazai was standing on the ice now, smirking. He made his way towards Chuuya. "No escaping until you've admitted the truth."

Neither of them were wearing skates, so they awkwardly shuffled as fast as they could across the ice to either escape or catch the other.

Chuuya raced as fast as he could, but Dazai eventually caught up. "I hate your fucking long ass legs!"

"It's not my fault you're tiny as can be, slug!" Dazai chirped, right before tackling him to the ground. He laced an arm around the back of Chuuya's head so he wouldn't get injured. Dazai smiled. "Can't have my chibi getting hurt, now can I?"

Chuuya scowled and mumbled, "Not yours." He yawned, unaware of what was about to happen. He didn't fully comprehend it when he felt Dazai's cold as hell fingers under his shirt.

His eyes widened. "Wait, Dazai no—"

But he couldn't stop the tickling and most definitely couldn't stop the fits of laughter that bubbled out of his chest. Dazai continued to tickle him despite Chuuya practically screaming at him to stop. All while laughing of course.

¤

Mori Ougai was sitting in a coffee shop. Against his will, might he add. The insolent security guard who "arrested" him was there too, talking to some boy about his job.

Mori sighed and tried his luck against the handcuffs that bound him to the bolted down table. "Can I just go now? I have a job, ya know." That last part was a lie. He just desperately wanted to get out of here.

The guard, Fukuzawa, as the kid called him, have him a deadpan look and said, "What part of 'evidence of you crying in a food court daily' do you not understand?"

"Hmmm, I think you added on that last bit, the 'daily' part? Yeah?" Mori cocked his head to the side.

Fukuzawa just turned back to the boy in front of him and resumed conversation. Now the subject was the 'cute barista' that had recently taken their order. (Mori wasn't allowed to order, per Fukuzawa's protests.) And hey, he may not have a job, but being a high paying doctor for years has its benefits. He should be able to order a goddamn scone of he wants one, even if he looks like a poor jobless loser. (One of those things isn't true. He really is just a jobless loser.)

Mori scratched the side of his face, and, having nothing better to do, eavesdropped onto their conversation. Ya know. Like a creep.

"I swear Fukuzawa, I'm gonna snap. He's obviously interested on me too."

Fukuzawa sipped his tea and looked at the kid strangely. "Then... Ranpo... why don't you ask him out?"

Ranpo sighed, exasperated by Fukuzawa's cluelessness. "Because I also know he needs some more confidence  and what better way to gain some than asking me out?" He finished.

Ranpo munched on a chocolate chip cookie while awaiting Fukuzawa's response.

"... That's a terrible idea—"

"Don't patronize me! Says the guy who has a pedo sitting right next to us, listening to our conversation."

"I'm not a pedophile...."

They both ignored him and continued talking. Eventually, Fukuzawa stood up and went to pay the bill. Ranpo stared after him, leaning to the side to get a better look at the man at the counter. The same one they had been talking about earlier, Mori guessed.

And sure, Mori could say he was kind of good looking (not in a pedophilic way, of course. He didn't even look like a minor anyway.), definitely someone who looked like they needed more confidence. He could say that he might agree with Ranpo on this.

Fukuzawa returned and asked Ranpo: "You ready to leave?"

"Hey, what about me?" Mori questioned, tugging against the handcuffs. He was still chained to the leg of the table.

Fukuzawa turned to him. "Oh." He didn't seem to know what to do with Mori. Mori didn't know what to do with himself. 

"I have a daughter here to keep an eye on, and now I don't know where she is." He glared at Fukuzawa. "All thanks to you."

Ranpo chuckled. "Just let him go, Fukuzawa. I wanna get outta here!" He tugged his sleeve, trying to pull him to the door.

Fukuzawa didn't budge, but he pulled out the key for the cuffs. Within seconds, Mori was freed from the table.

He rubbed at his wrist and pouted. "Thanks, kid."

"I'm the one who let you go?" Fukuzawa raised an eyebrow at Mori.
"Only thanks to the kid." Mori pointed out.

Ranpo stuck out his tongue. "The 'kid' has a name, old man."

Mori raised his hands in mock surrender and smiled. "Well, gentlemen," he said, gathering his things. "I'll be going now. Thank you for wasting my time. It was very amusing watching you two argue."

And with that, Mori stood up and walked out the cafe door.

Fukuzawa and Ranpo stood there in silence. Ranpo finally broke it.

"So did you get his number for me—"

"No, I didn't get his number for you, Ranpo!"