They stood in the room where the student volunteers stored their belongings.

Jenny said, "You don't look like someone who just had a boy drive for over an hour in rush hour traffic to see her."

Emily took out her compact to touch up her makeup.

I wonder how I'm supposed to look...

She stared at her reflection in the little mirror and tried out a smile.

It feels disingenuous...

"It's weird to have Kelly here. It's like my worlds are colliding. I guess it's going to take a minute or two for me to wrap my head around it."

Jenny grabbed Emily by the hand to lead her toward the door. "Forget wrapping your head around him. Wrap your arms around him and dance!"

The girls mounted the stairs and split up when they arrived in the darkened gym. Jenny went to find where Geoff was, while Emily stood still and surveyed the scene. She watched the crowd move along through the flashing lights as Zedd's "Beautiful Now" thumped through the DJ's speakers.

I've only been up here for three minutes but already my head is pulsating and my palms are moist...

Then she spotted John and Kelly off to right across the room. John was speaking with a few people he knew from grammar school. Kelly stood with his arms crossed and his legs spread wide.

He looks uncomfortable... I wonder if he feels out of place... I know that feeling...

Kelly glanced around the gym and finally noticed Emily staring at him. She held her breath as he dropped his arms and stalked towards her.

When he was in front of her, he said something Emily couldn't quite hear.

Maybe it was 'Took you long enough"...

She leaned in and cupped her ear. "What?" She squinted at his lips and hoped she could read whatever he said next.

He stepped closer and raised his voice. "You made me wait!" He put his hands on her hips and pulled her nearer.

"I thought you didn't mind waiting," she said as loudly as she could without yelling.

"I said I can. I never said I didn't mind," Kelly answered before he brought his lips to hers.

Kelly seized the ribbon on her waistband and finally pulled her fully against him. The lights strobed and the gym floor vibrated. Emily felt giddy.

"What about the chaperones and my teachers? We shouldn't!" She looked around at the dancers jumping up and down along with the song. No adults were within eyesight at the moment.

"We should!" Kelly overruled her objection with another firm kiss.

Soon there was a tap on Emily's shoulder, but that didn't stop her from kissing Kelly. So a second more insistent nudge followed and with that she removed her mouth from his, but still clutched tightly to his shoulders.

The frowning chaperone barked, "Separate!"

Kelly took a step back from Emily and shoved his hands into the pockets of his grey chinos. Emily nodded and covered her mouth with her hand to hide her smile. The satisfied chaperone walked away to interrupt another young couple who were getting too familiar on the bleachers.

Kelly removed his fists from his pants and grabbed Emily's hand. He pulled her into the camouflage of bodies at the center of the room. The writhing mass around them moved to Major Lazer's "Cold Water."

Emily leaned against Kelly and linked her hands behind his neck. She put her lips to his ear. "Do you want to dance?" she asked as she swayed against him.

"I don't dance," he said against her temple.

"But you're dancing right now," she said before she spun around to place her backside against him. She grabbed his hands and brought his arms around her as she wiggled into him in time with the music.

Kelly hooked his thumbs into her waistband. His hot breath against her neck made Emily feel that burn which was distinctly Kelly. When he lightly bit the strap of her tank top, his teeth grazed against the skin of her shoulder and she threw her head back against him. He leaned down to kiss her neck.

"Thank you for coming," she said.

"What?" he called out over the music.

"Nevermind," she yelled back.

A few feet away, Evie and Alex danced with the Ed and Patrick from their Improv group. They spotted Emily and moved through the crowd towards her.

Before Emily could introduce everyone to Kelly, the DJ announced, "This next song was a special request. It goes out to all of the ladies that love themselves out there!"

As he started to spin Hailee Steinfeld's "Love Myself," every female voice on the floor began to sing along. Kelly stood frozen as Evie and Alex stole Emily away from him to dance with them.

"It's probably best if we just move out of the way," Patrick said as he and Ed stepped backwards three steps, laughing.

Jenny pushed past the boys as she jumped into the throng of her friends and classmates.

The DJ ordered, "I want to hear every woman scream her name!" The floor erupted in a cacophony of girls' names yelled at once.

Geoff and Peter joined the first three boys. Emily saw Peter wince at the deafening volume of the room.

Geoff leaned over towards wide-eyed Kelly and spoke loud enough for the girls to hear. "You've never been to an NDA dance before, huh?"

Kelly shook his head no. "How can you tell?"

"You have this dumbstruck look going." Geoff laughed. "It's pretty intense to watch them all in action. Notre Dame is the most feminist all-girl school around."

Kelly laughed too. "Yeah I guess I'm kind of surprised that they're so into a song about masturbation." Then he introduced himself to the other boys standing beside him, before looking back towards Emily.

She smiled at him while running her hands all along her body and then through her hair. Yet it didn't have the effect she wanted it to have on Kelly, because he wasn't looking at her anymore.

Instead, he was watching Peter, who looked at Emily. Peter was licking his lips, while Kelly clenched and flexed his hands at his sides.

What's wrong with them both?

The DJ started to mix in the next song. "And now for a little NDA dance tradition. Just remember, you've been warned - Only the Good Die Young!"

The opening piano chords sent the dance floor into a renewed frenzy. Emily looked toward Kelly as she sang along with Billy Joel, noting that his brow was deeply furrowed with a frown that marred his handsome features.

She waved for him to join her. Kelly shook his head and crossed his arms.

Drama class taught me that this is a defensive posture...

Emily danced away from her friends and took Kelly's hand. "C'mon and join in." Then she sang, "The sinners are much more fun..."

Kelly pulled her into an embrace and spoke in her ear. "You Catholic girls start much too late."

Then he looked over her shoulder and Emily turned, following his gaze, to find Peter studying them.

Kelly gave Emily a peck on her lips and said, "Go dance. I'm going back toward your brother."

When Emily glanced over that way again.
Peter looked down at his feet

I can't control somebody else's actions... I shouldn't worry about this now... I'm here to have fun...

So Emily went back to dancing and soon sweat pooled in her cleavage. Beads collected along her hairline and threatened to roll down the back of her neck.

This gym feels like an oven...

The air conditioning did little to combat the surging hormones and temperature of the room.

Emily swiped her index fingers beneath her eyes. She looked at the smudged mascara on them and stopped dancing.

It's definitely time to take a bathroom break before finding Kelly again...

She swung open the doors and stepped into the hallway.

Ahhhh... The cooler air and relative quiet there is a welcome relief... But that lengthy line for the upstairs restroom is not... Better check the one downstairs...

Emily went into the stairwell as a voice called out to her. She turned to see Peter swiftly approaching, but she continued down the steps.

His voice echoed against the cinder block walls. "Hey! Can I talk to you?"

Emily stopped and looked up the stairs at him. "You can, but I may not listen." She added extra emphasis on the words "can" and "may" to point out the grammatical error.

He gritted his teeth in an awkward smile. "May I speak with you?"

He towered over her, a fact more pronounced by the advantage of four steps, and it made Emily uncomfortable to have him looming high above her. "Um, ok... Just not here. Let's go down."

He nodded and followed her down and out into the main hallway. Then Peter said, "Maybe we should go outside. It's more private and what I have to tell you is kind of personal."

Emily acquiesced and led the way again.

Once they were outside, the night's light breeze coupled with Emily's sweat. She shivered and crossed her arms.

The moonlit campus looks romantic... But this moment is totally wasted on Peter...

Emily turned towards him. "Well we're outside. So what did you have to tell me?"

Peter cleared his throat. "I'm really, really sorry for what happened the other day. I umm... it's not an excuse, but I wanted to explain... I'm not good with... It's just that... I have..." He paused and snapped the fingers of his right hand rapidly four times.

Emily shivered harder and her heart raced as she watched Peter struggle. He grabbed his right hand with his left to still it.

Oh my God! I'm watching his stim!

No sooner that the thought occurred to her that she blurted, "Are you going to tell me that you're on the Spectrum Peter?"

His eyes widened, and he gave a tiny nod. "How did you know?"

"Takes one to know one." Emily shrugged and then turned to go back inside.

"You're Autistic?" Peter called out as he trailed behind her again.

Emily abruptly stopped and hissed "Shhhh!"

Then she swiveled around and took two steps into Peter's personal space. He took a big step backwards.

"I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was eight," she said, "But can we please shut up about all of this in the middle of my school dance?"

Peter looked down at his feet. "Do you accept my apology?"

Her teeth started to chatter as her trembling increased. "Yes. And now I have to go."

Emily somehow made it back upstairs despite her intense trembling. As she marched around the perimeter of the dance floor, she scanned the crowd for Jenny and her mind raced through so many questions.

Did she discuss my diagnosis with Geoff? Does she think I can only have a relationship with someone else on the Spectrum? Why didn't she tell me about Peter's diagnosis? Does she pity me?

Emily didn't find her best friend amongst the dancers so she went to the back stairwell. Couples often snuck away there for a few minutes of privacy before the chaperones came around to chase them off again.

That was where she found them pressed against a wall. Jenny and Geoff remained so engaged in each other that they didn't notice Emily, who stood motionless just inside the doorway.

Now that I found my target, I don't know what to do or say...

She was paralyzed with hurt and anger. Her hand pushed against the tiny arrow charm resting snuggly in her jugular notch, and it sunk deeper into her flesh. When it threatened to pierce the vulnerable skin there, she stopped pushing.

I'm on the brink... I'm going to tip over the edge at any moment... Fight or flight...

So she turned heel to run away again.

The music is too loud... The strobe lights are too uncontrolled... The air is too heavy... The room stinks of body odor, cologne and perfume... I don't know where I'm going, or what I'm doing, but I need to get out of this gym now!

She slammed into a freshman and mumbled an apology. Then she recited to herself, "Keep it together Emily. Keep it together. Keep
it together until you get outside and you're alone."

Dimly, she heard her name from the crowd behind her. But she couldn't stop.

Not now! Not now! Not now!

She hurtled down the stairs. People stared at her as she clung to the handrail and jumped down the last three steps. By the time she stumbled out the front doors and kicked off her heels, she was no longer aware of who was around her. Thunder was in her brain and lightning coursed through her body. Her nerves were a storm.

What now? What now? What now?

All of a sudden, Kelly was there.

He picked her shoes up from the floor and took her elbow. Emily sunk against him. Her legs felt like gelatin.

"Come with me," he ordered as he practically carried her across the parking lot and out the front gate.

They made their way to Kelly's car around the corner. He put Emily into the back seat where she dissolved into a blubbering heap.

She pulled her legs up against her chest as she keened and rocked. She gripped her hair in her fists and pulled until it hurt. She focused on the pain in her scalp.

Then the words came. "Stupid, naïve, imbecilic, useless, abnormal..." They poured from her mouth in a torrent of unintelligible denigration.

After ten long minutes, Emily finally quieted and let go of her hair. She rolled to her side and pressed her cheek against the sandy upholstery and dirty, stray clothing strewn there.

The door above her head squeaked open. She released her knees, and covered her tear-streaked face with her hands, as the car dipped down while Kelly climbed in beside her.

He lifted her head and put it onto his lap. "Are you okay?"

"I'm embarrassed," she mumbled through her fingers.

Kelly pulled a sweatshirt from the underneath him and draped it across her shoulders. They sat in silence for another few minutes until

Emily whispered, "I'm Autistic."

Kelly removed her hands from her face and looked down at her. "John told me already."

Emily closed her eyes. "That was a meltdown. It's different than a panic attack. Partly because I have a lot less control over it once it starts."

She opened her eyes but was still unable to look at him. So she pushed herself upright, letting the sweatshirt fall from her shoulders. Next, she dried her face with the backs of her hands. Finally she smoothed her hair back into a ponytail, tying it back with the hair elastic from her wrist. Feeling a bit more collected she said, "Meltdowns are not very attractive."

"I'm sure it felt worse than it looked." Kelly shrugged.

Emily laughed. "It's okay. You don't have to pretend that you aren't weirded out. I know how freaky it is to watch."

Kelly sighed. "It wasn't that. It was just... I didn't know what to do. I wasn't sure what you needed. You sounded so sad. I felt like an ass standing out there."

Emily turned toward him and touched his thigh. "You actually did the best thing. I don't like to be touched when I'm like that. It's just that everything: my body, my brain, my emotions. They feel so chaotic at that moment. It's like I'm processing too many things at once. To add someone touching or even talking to me then makes it worse," she explained.

Kelly furrowed his brow and nodded. "So when I climbed into the car and put your head on my lap, I shouldn't have done that?"

"Actually, when I start to come out of a meltdown I do like to be touched. My mom would always hug me or scratch my back or smooth my hair. It makes me feel connected to reality again. So I liked that." Emily shrugged.

Kelly leaned across the seat and put his hand on her cheek leaned closer to her. "So this..." He moved another inch closer. "...is okay..." And another inch. "...to do?"

He engulfed her in a kiss that made her feel even more boneless than she already was.

When they parted, Emily sighed and said, "Yes that is very okay to do."

Kelly just saw me at my worst and he still wanted to kiss me!

She leaned her head against his shoulder and reveled in the thrill of the discovery. They sat silently in each other's arms for a moment. Then Kelly took out a joint and lit it.

"I'll get your brother to drive home," he said in between the first two puffs. He offered it to her.

I'm not sure if I should take it... After all, I just had a meltdown and I still have to go back into school to get my bag...

While she hesitated, Kelly sucked in a pull, leaned over and kissed her with a mouthful of smoke. Emily felt her hesitation dissipate like the smoke in their conjoined mouths, and her decision was made. She brought his fingers holding the blunt against her lips, and inhaled deeply.

"So what started the meltdown?" Kelly asked through clenched teeth as he held in a toke.

Emily fingered the buttons on Kelly's poplin shirt. Then she traced the blue windowpane pattern. "A combination of things."

He tugged her ribbon belt and it unraveled. "Like..." He lengthened the word out as he pulled the ribbon slowly from her belt loops.

Emily undid his top button and began to work on the second one when she said, "Well this boy Peter..."

Kelly stopped her hand. "The blonde one that wants you?"

Emily sat up straighter. She took another hit. "He's blonde. But I seriously don't think he likes me that way."

Kelly laughed as she passed the joint back to him. "I met him while you were dancing. He was with Jenny's boyfriend, whats-his-name."

"Geoff." She scrunched her nose.

"Yep. I met them while you were dancing with your friends. And the way that kid Peter looked at you left no doubt in my mind. He definitely wants to smash you. I had to walk away. It was almost as bad as watching the way Evan looks at you." Kelly grimaced and Emily felt her ears burn at the mention of Evan's name.

She sat up on her knees and took one last pull from the joint. Then she took out her phone and scrolled through her music. "Well I think you're wrong about Peter. Tonight he told me that he's on the Spectrum too. I think he just sensed that we're similar in some ways."

Kelly finished the joint and blew a cloud of smoke up at the ceiling. He opened the car door and flicked the roach out before closing it again.

Emily found the song she was looking for. She started "Love You Madly" by Cake and started to unbutton Kelly's shirt again.

"So that's why you had a meltdown?" he asked.

"Not exactly," Emily said, as she twisted open his last button.

Her palms moved onto his chest, Kelly hissed. "Cold hands."

"Sorry." She went to pull them away.

Kelly gripped her wrists to stop her. "Don't apologize. I don't mind."

"Good." She pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

Kelly looked into her eyes. "So what exactly caused the meltdown?"

Emily slowly slid her still trembling hands up his smooth pecs. "Sensory, structure, and social stuff. I call it the Autism Trifecta. So tonight there was too much sensory input, not enough structure for my taste, and just the right amount of complicated social stuff to make me break."

Her hands landed on his shoulders and she squeezed them hard. Kelly groaned his appreciation for her massaging. "You'll have to explain more about this sensory, structure and social stuff."

Emily whispered into his ear, "Not tonight. We don't have much longer before the dance is over and I don't feel like talking."

Kelly gently pushed her down against the seat. He untucked her top and rasped his calloused fingers up her stomach towards her chest. "Fine by me."