Everyone stopped, waiting in anticipation for your final show-stopping blow. Nothing came. Just... absolutely nothing. Zip. Nadda.

"Huh?" Chisaki said. You looked at your outstretched hands.

"Oh, shit, sorry," you said, turning around. "Wrong way."

"Yo, she kinda thicc," the deflated stone said.

A giant explosion came out of your asshole. Chisaki blocked himself from the flames and the smell. You turned around.

"I'M LIKE BAKUGO BUT WITHOUT THE REALISTIC CHARACTERISTICS!!!!!!!" You jumped towards him.

"You little insufferable... brat!!!!" He strained out, sending up more of the ground at you.

"SEND ME TO THE RANCH, DADDY!!" You yelled, the mallet appearing in your hand. With a wide side-swing, you destroyed all of the rocks. With a yell, an attack bigger than the previous ones came at you. Towering over you like some yaoi anime.

"Welp," you said, staring up at it. "Time to unleash my inner lawsuit." The spikes swallowed you up. Instead of the spikes impaling you, you were shielded by someone.

"Good afternoon Miss."
You looked up and saw a person standing over you, impaled in place of you.

"Would you like to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?"
You blinked up at them.

"Um... you might need to go to the hospital."

""tis but a flesh wound, my dear."

"Okay," you said, waving him away. He disappeared from above you. "Weirdo."

"Someone else is about to die because of you!"
You flinched at the loud announcement.

"Damn, dude!! USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!" You yelled back.

"Is that what you want?! Eri!!"

"Okay... this bitch is getting really annoying..." You said, shifting yourself so that you were squatting.

"Do you really think this guy can do anything in this situation by himself?"
Your eye twitched.

"Then, what should you do?"

"Okay boomer..." You growled, orienting yourself. "I've had enough of your big talk."

"That's right! It's easier to be hurt yourself than have others get for you, huh?"

"On the contrary, my good fuck!" You phased through the spikes. When you saw Eri standing there, you suppressed a sigh.

'Idiot children.' You smiled widely at him.

"I love seeing people in pain."
Chisaki's nerve snapped at you.

"GET YOUR BROCCOLI ASS UP, DEKU!!!!" You yelled. That seemed to snap him out of whatever pained stupor he was in. Just as you were about to make a move, the ceiling above you collapsed. Gusts of air blew by you, sending Chisaki off his feet. You covered yourself and watched the people who were left behind come down. Still fighting off the big guy you first encountered.

"Hot. We stan dominating women," you said. Looking up at the hole, you could see the heads of Toga, Twice, and Mister whatever-the-fuck-his-name-was.

'They're still here?' You thought. Shaking your head, you cleared your thoughts and ran forward, towards Eri. Midoriya thought the same thing too. Before you could reach her, Chisaki broke the ground below her and sent her flying into the air. He also made spikes rise up in front of you. You stopped just in time. To the right a little bit, you could see Mister had jumped into the hole.

"YOU THINK THAT'S GONNA STOP ME, LIVING-EMBODIMENT OF THE CORONAVIRUS?!?!?!" You used the spikes to enhance your jump. At the same time, Chisaki also rose higher into the air.

"Everything's messed up! You pieces of garbage!!" He exclaimed. You let out a dramatic gasp, pausing in the air to look at him.

"I take great offence to that... I'm RECYCLING, BITCH!!!!!!!" The mallet re appeared and smashed the pillar he was on. He stumbled to get back into the air. You blasted higher, back towards Eri. You looked down to see dozen of spikes coming right back at you.

"OH PENIS!!!" You yelled. You managed to dodge all of them while still moving up into the air. How you did that, I don't know. However, Chisaki managed to get above you and closer to Eri than what you would've liked. Because he moved past you, rubble and pieces of rock were falling above you. And you had to dodge that. You weaved and destroyed the falling debris. When you got another visual of Eri, she was on a flat pillar, holding what looked to be Togata's ripped cape. You reached out for her.

"ERI!!!" You yelled. Her eyes widened. With a leap of faith and a Jesus-take-the-wheel-moment, she jumped off the pillar. She fell towards you and into your arms. "GOTCHA BITCH!!!" You turned and changed your course. Falling back down to the ground, you made sure to grab Midoriya as well.

"Y/n! Eri!" He exclaimed in your arms. You could feel something change above you.

"Shut up and hold her!!" You exclaimed, shoving her into his arms and turning yourselves around. You could see Chisaki, now separated from his counterpart, slam his hand onto the rock.

"Give her back!!!" He yelled. You guided Midoriya in weaving, mid air. Dodging whatever pillars and spikes may of come your way. Chisaki was also falling towards you.

"HOLD ONTO HER, MIDORIYA!!!" You yelled, wrapping your arms around both of them. You and him both activated your quirks. With the help of his One For All and your unnamed-totally-cool-not-OP-reality-controlling-quirk, you three vanished from sight. But the aftershocks were real and devastating. You all somehow managed to find yourselves flying high into the air above city level.

"Well... aint this a son of a bitch," you said.

"H-how did this happen?" Midoriya asked.

"You were thinking of throwing hands, I was thinking of vanishing like all the anti vaxxers during COVID-19. Do the math."
Then you all began to fall back towards the ground.

'... familiar feeling...' You thought, staring up at the sky.

'Falling... spiralling...' You snapped out of it when you got closer to the ground. You helped Midoriya turn and land, keeping yourselves on your feet. You let go of them and stared at the hole that you came out of. Midoriya put her down behind you.

'Chisaki merged with someone else... probably that big guy from before.' You turned your head when Midoriya collapsed in pain.

"Hey, you okay?" You asked, kneeling next to him.

"She has no control."
With reflexes like a cat, you grabbed Eri first and jumped out of the way. The ground below you cracked apart and split. Chisaki reappeared.

"She may have activated it at a good time, but she doesn't know how to stop it. Isn't that right, Eri?"
Through the smoke and rubble, you could see Chisaki's final form.

"Oh that's... unsettling," you said with a grimace. "That's some Resident Evil shit."

"She rewinds humans. That's who Eri is. Depending on how you use her, it might even be possible to turn a human back into a monkey."

"Ooh, let's not get into that conversation," you said.

"If you keep carrying her like that, you'll be annihilated. Everyone who touches her gets rewined into nothingness."

"Let me hold her right fucking now."

"That girl's quirk is cursed."

"ACTUALLY!!! SINCE YOU WANNA BE FUCKING STUPID!!!" You brought out a white board, some markers, and a pointer. "Quirks, even though mostly inherited by one or both parents, can and will mutate into something else. Although this mutation is extremely rare, it is possible. A quirk which has mutated can share little to no resemblance to anyone else in the family. Which makes it hard to understand unless thoroughly researched and analyzed. Now, what were you doing for the past eight or so years? Oh, that's right. You were STUDYING IT BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T KNOW JACK DIDDLY SHIT!!!!" You threw all that shit to the side and brought out a megaphone.

"GET EDUCATED YOU DUMB HICK!!!!!!"

"Midoriya, keep Eri attached to you," you instructed, shoving the megaphone back up your ass. "I'll deal with him from down here. The bitch has like eight fucking legs. He's stupid not to use them."

"What are you going to do?" He asked. You smirked and beat your hands together.

"What I'm known for baby. I'm throwing some hands and reality-defying tricks."

Ja ne!

{Ruby Red}