[ for those who can't view the update, i unpublished it bc i thought it was too early sorry for the inconvenience uWU ]

oof, this is gonna be long, i told y'all to hold tight on ur seatbelts, right?

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jungkook dropped me off and i faced him while i stood in front of our gate.

"thank you." i smiled.

he stopped from brushing his hair and looked at me. a smile crept down his lips while holding his helmet on his arms.

suddenly, i felt my heart beat so fast and a tingling sensation came circulating inside my stomach, not butterflies though. more like something i couldn't explain but satisfying.

"for what?" he smiled, biting his lower lip and still looking at me.

oh god.

i cleared my throat, "f-for not bringing me home earlier."

why did i stutter?

i wanted to slap myself and roll over the floor at the moment. however, i didn't want to embarrass myself in front of jungkook.

jungkook nodded while still smiling widely. suddenly, he put down his helmet on his bicycle and started going towards me.

i internally panicked and broke his eye contact due to this uncomfortable feeling. every step he made felt like slow motion and i wanted to go inside already.

but again, i couldn't move.

once he was already in front of me, he looked down while still had the same wide smile.

what the heck?

i didn't want to look up because i could feel my face heating up.

but suddenly, a finger lifted my chin and that made me look up to him.

i met his gaze and the smile was still plastered on his face. my heart started beating even more fast that it could burst out open anytime. my muscles were tense and i could feel my whole body heating up.

"what—"

i stopped when he lowered his head, looking down on me. he slowly leaned closer and i gasped quietly when his face was so near on my neck.

unexpectedly,  i felt something soft was placed on the bandage of my neck and i heard a chuu sound.

he leaned away while still looking down on me.

"i hope this heal soon," he pouted and looked at me before stepping back.

i didn't answer and stayed stiffed on the ground. my heart was pounding so hard against my chest.

he hopped on his bicycle and put on his helmet. he started the engine and gave me a one last look.

"have a good night, y/n." he smiled and started driving away.

i stared at the vehicle going further away until it vanished in my sight.

i placed my palm on my chest and sighed loudly.

i don't think i would have a good night, jeon.

i went inside and towards my room. i jumped in my bed and buried my face in my pillow, not giving myself a chance to breathe.

i lied on my back and stared at the ceiling above me, fidgeting my finger on my stomach.

i grabbed my phone when it buzzed and looked at my messages.

from: jeon jungkook

are you asleep? :)

well, i don't think i would sleep jeon.

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"young lady, your dad is here." i heard a knock on my door.

i quickly get up on my bed and went out the room.

it's been a while since dad came home and it was a miracle he still had some thought on going home.

although it's evening and he would go to work tomorrow morning again.

i went down the stairs to see him drinking wine.

"dad." i called.

he looked at me for a second before looking away and drinking his wine.

"sending guards away, sneaking out and not obeying what i obliged you to do." he stopped and looked at me.

anger and frustration was visible in his eyes and i started to get scared.

he never got angry with me before.

i started to feel guilty and lowered down my head.

"heard you're involved with kim again and been one of his enemies' hostages." he filled up another glass and drank it all.

"dad—"

"i'm sure you notice no guards are tracking you anymore, i sent them away just as you prefer it to be."

"i'm sorry, dad—" i stutter when i felt tears threatening my eyes.

"you can be in danger, anyone can kill you and shot you anytime now." he stood up and grabbed the glass of wine in his hands.

"dad—"

"don't call me dad," he gritted his teeth and threw the glass somewhere, making it shutter on the floor.

i gasped and the tears started falling down my eyes.

"i don't consider you as my daughter anymore."

and then he turned his back on me.

tears started falling down my cheeks and sobbed silently on the floor.

i'm such a disappointment.

i stood up, grabbing my purse and going out the house. running away while tears continuously flowed down.

i wanted to be alone and i wanted this guilt feeling to vanish.

dad has done so much things for me yet i became a disappointment to him.

i wept my tears.

i didn't know those simple words could break me down.

it made me feel like i was alone, that i had no one anymore.

i thought dad was the only one i have in this world.

and i felt like, i just lost him.

i felt alone the moment he spat the words.

i was crying so bad that i didn't know i entered a random bar. now that i was there, i ordered a drink.

i gulped it all in down my throat and ordered another again.

it hurt.

it hurt to be despised by your own parent.

i gulp down the drinks again and again. later on, my world started spinning and i felt like vomitting all the liquid i had.

i grabbed my current glass and was about to gulp it down my throat when a hand stopped me.

i looked beside me to see him.

"stop drinking. especially you're alone and it's midnight." he said, still gripping on my arms.

"why the fuck do you care?" i said and yanked taehyung's arms off of me.

i gulped down the glass and decided to go home. i felt his eyes trailing behind me while i exited the bar.

i thought i could manage but i felt so sick and dizzy.

there was barely a cab and i waved my hand crazily on the street.

"hey cutie, want a ride?" a car stopped in front of me and a weird looking ass old man peeked out, looking up and down on me.

"no, t-thank you." a hiccup made me stutter.

"oh c'mon, you look wasted, i'll take you home." he grinned and opened the door.

"noooo—"

i was cut off when he grabbed my arms and forced me to go inside.

"you smell good—"

"let go of her." we heard a voice behind.

"mind your own business, she's mine—" the man was cut off when i was yanked away from him.

"she's my business." taehyung gritted his teeth, holding my shoulders.

"fucking—" the old man stopped when taehyung pulled out a gun, pointing at him.

the old man panicked and went inside his car then dashed off.

once the car was gone, i pushed taehyung away and scoffed.

i didn't want to see him, his presence hurt me even more.

"let me drop you off." he started.

"stop this, stop getting involve with me." i started, stopping my tears to form.

i couldn't take it anymore, i wanted to let all my frustration out and blame it on him.

"you're drunk, let's go." he said and grabbed my arms but i yanked it off harshly.

"is it fun, huh? is it fun to fucking play with my feelings?!" i yelled.

"y/n—"

"what do you want?! do you want me completely destroyed?! what did i ever do to feel like this?! you were the one who left me but why am i the one who's suffering?!" i screamed through the silent street.

taehyung stopped and looked down on me.

"you don't know how hurt i am, my feelings—"

"what about me?" he cut me off, "what about my feelings?"

i stared at him and i exhaled.

"you didn't even ask me if i was okay when i was the one who was bleeding, yet you chose someone who wasn't even hurt—"

"never in my life have ever someone asked me if i'm okay y/n!" he screamed back, panting.

his face was red and i couldn't help but to burst in tears.

"fuck you! i hate you! i don't want to see you anymore! you deserve nothing but pain!" i yelled at the top of my lungs.

my chest tightened and the pain i was feeling inside was unbearable, making it hard for me to breathe. 

suddenly, he stopped and clenched his jaw.

his eyes were shining and i could see liquid forming at the corner.

he brushed his hair up and,

"you don't know how fucking hard it is to love you."

and a tear has escaped his shining eyes that was reflecting the moon above us.

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guys this is too long for my usual chapter, so how was it?

i want to reveal everything but it's too soon, let's take things slowly unless y'all want this story to end soon?

anyways, i hope you guys liked this chapter, i love y'all UwU 💜