After I'd fetched the printed picture from my study, he had been hesitant to even take it into his hands, more so to look at it. Now, he's been staring at it for almost an hour, saying nothing while his eyes are laced red. Whenever he squeezes them shut and his body shakes, some tears escape, just like right now. I feel part of me dying at the sight, parting from my incompetent self with a desperate wail.

I'm failing him - as his master, as his boyfriend. Still, I don't know what to do to make him stop hurting. I clench my fists in my lap, glaring at them until I hear Robin whimper and I can't take it any longer. But when I reach for his shoulder, he flinches away from the touch, his fingers curling around the sheet in his hands, making it wrinkle.

"Please," I whisper pained. I need to hold him, if nothing else.

He shakes his head and my heart sinks. I pull my hand back into my lap. Now, we're both looking anywhere but at each other. I hate this so much; it makes me so mad. I know that he just found out that I killed his mother. I get that it's hard, that it's normal for him to not want to be touched right know, yet I can't stand it. I can't fix it.

I get up with a start, needing to get out of here and do something before I end up doing something stupid.

"Wait!"

I stop when I hear his voice, but I don't turn around. I guess he wouldn't like seeing my expression right now.

"Gav, please. Don't go," he says quietly, voice hoarse from the strain of crying silently.

I close my eyes with a sigh, dropping my head forwards. While I have to stay for his sake and probably also mine, it's just too hard on me to watch him suffer like that. Besides, I've been sitting by his side all the time and he didn't want me then, only now when I've decided to leave. I know I'm being unfair but shit, I feel so miserable.

"Gav, please. I-" He breaks off to gulp down whatever is disturbing him. "Please come back. I- I need you right now. I can't- it's just too much."

I'm about to snap at him, but I manage to stay composed. My body shakes from the strain, though, and I rub my temples to ease out the tension that has me pulling my brows together, glaring coldly. "I know, sweetheart, I know. It's just hard to see you like this. I'll stay, but at least let me hold you, okay?"

"Okay."

I go back to bed, back to his misery. My heart aches for him, making me aware of how deep my feelings are because usually, I'm not the guy who feels bad for others. I sit down at the headboard with spread legs, and he crawls between them obediently, still holding on to the sheet with her picture. Once he's snuggled up to me, I can relax a little bit.

I kiss the top of his head, pulling him closer against my chest though he winces, probably because of the wounds on his back that I have yet to tend to.

"I love you."

I don't know why I keep telling him that all the time. Maybe because I feel like he might slip away any second, leaving me with a broken heart, incomplete. He's so fucking amazing, and he doesn't even know it.

Maybe it's because he hasn't said it back yet, and I want him to. Every time I tell him, he might reply, 'I love you, too, Gav.'

I squeeze him hard, and his body tenses in pain. As if I'd mind that. He's my submissive, and I know he can take it.

I bury my nose in his hair, whispering, "Don't you love me?"

I shouldn't have said that aloud. I don't know why I did. He's making me do things I normally wouldn't even think of. He's my weak spot, and I need to make sure that won't be my downfall.

Of course, my question doesn't lead to a confession. Instead, Robin clutches at my chest, trembling, and his nails scratch my skin. He pushes his face into me, and I can feel his wet tears.

I hold him silently. After all, it's not like I really expected an answer. Besides, he's not in the best spot to confess his love for me - and it's not like that means he really doesn't love me.

"I'm sorry."

He shakes his head. "I'm sorry. It's not like I don't- I mean, of course I-"

I kiss the top of his head. I'm so stupid.

"I- Of course, I have feelings for you." His nails dig into my skin, and he heaves a shaky breath. "It's just all so fucked up. I'm so confused. It's like I can't be sure of anything anymore, and I need to figure things out first."

"But you can be sure of me." I'm pushing it, but it's so frustrating how I can't get that through to him.

"I know and I-" He gulps, but he doesn't say it, again. "I'm so thankful to you for that. I've never felt this way for anyone else, Gav. I'm so sorry I can't give you more."

I rest my chin on his head, staring straight ahead, happy that I got that little bit out of him, but also feeling slightly empty. It's not enough.

I fiddle at the collar around his neck.

-

There you go AqsaShahzad. Thanks for urging me to update ;) I hope you like it.

More of Gav, guys ^^ I want to show how vulnerable Robin makes him, and how difficult that is for him. Being nice is hard, and he's suppressing another part of himself.

XOXO

T.