Chapter 19: Honest Thoughts
Jimin bites his lips. He didn't know how to explain this to Jungkook. One part of him is scared. Scared that Jungkook would take Jungmin away from him once he knows the truth. But the thing is, Jungkook already saw Jungmin and there's really nothing he could hide. Jungmin's face is already screaming Jungkook's name, what else can he say about it?
"So, is Jungmin my son?" Jungkook asks. He can't believe that he's sitting inside Jimin's house, facing him with a cup of coffee on the table while his son, hopefully his, is playing on the carpet.
Jimin just nods his head. He couldn't bring himself from saying anything. He's too afraid of what may come.
"Why didn't you tell me about him?" Jungkook frowns, arms crossed on his chest.
"................. Would you believe me if I did?" Jimin said, making Jungkook froze a second.
"I tried to tell you.... when I first know that I'm pregnant with your child, I wanted to tell you about it. I'm excited to let you know. But you came home drunk that night. And the next day, I found you on the bed with a bitch whom I didn't know. And to complete my misery, you gave me the most wonderful present, the divorce paper. Why do you think I didn't tell you about him now?" Jimin said, tears brimming at the corners of his eyes.
Jungkook was speechless. He couldn't say a word, he admits that if Jimin told him about his pregnancy, Jungkook would never believe in him. He might even accuse Jimin to sleep around with someone else until he get pregnant. Or worse, he might actually accuse that Jungmin is actually Taemin's kid.
"i----I'm sorry. I understand why you didn't. I'm really sorry about everything that I've done to you. It's just that, I'm too heartbroken you know. Knowing that the love of my life is cheating on me. The proof looks so real I just couldn't--- I know I should've trusted you. I made it clear in our vows that I will trust in you. But I didn't. And I know, sorry alone wouldn't makes things better. So please, please Jimin, let me repay for my mistakes. Hit me, scold me, do whatever you want to me. But please, forgive me." Jungkook pleads, his eyes are full with tears that threatening to fall down any time now.
"Jungkook.... saying that it's okay, I forgive you would be a total lie. My heart hurts and it's still aching everytime I see you around. I can't just forgive you Jungkook..... You promised that you're going to have faith in me, trust me. But you didn't. And you made all those vows as a trash once you decided to believe in someone else aside from your own husband." Jimin said, tearing up.
"But to prevent you from seeing your own son, I guess that's selfish of me. You deserve to know about him. I promise that I would let you see him, be with him. Whenever you want. But please, don't take him away from me. He's all I got." Jimin pleads, silently letting his tears down. And by this time, both he and Jungkook are a crying mess.
Jungkook tells him about everything, from the beginning until the end. He told Jimin that everything is Eunha's plan and he also tells him why she did that in the first place. Jimin couldn't say how much he's shocked hearing about this. Knowing this makes him feels sympathy towards Jungkook. His own flesh and blood betrays him like this. Jimin didn't even know what to feel anymore.
"I'm sorry to hear that....." Jimin didn't even know what to say to him.
"Jungkook? I know, it wasn't your fault. I understand. But I can't just forgive you for this. I would be lying if I said I do. Because the pain is too much, and scar you've carved on my heart is too deep. I need time to forgive you. Let's take this slowly for us, okay? And I guess, for starting, you are always welcomed here for Jungmin." Jimin wipes away his tears, hands some tissues to Jungkook before smiling again.
Jungkook nods his head at Jimin's words. He would love this. To have a new start with Jimin, is something that he wanted, more than everything in this world.
"Jungminie, come here" Jimin calls upon his son. Jungmin stands up, leaving his toys behind and walks straight towards his appa. His face is frowning, looking at his appa's red eyes.
"Jungmin ah, say hello. This is your father, Jungkook." Jimin gestures his son to say hello towards Jungkook.
"But appa, you're my father. I don't wanna go with him, appa~" Jungmin's eyes filled with tears. He thought that Jimin might be leaving him with this stranger with big nose.
Both Jungkook and Jimin froze, confused with Jungmin's sudden reactions. A second after that, then they realized what's going through Jungmin's head. Both of them laughs out loud, thinking how cute their son is.
"No~ you're not going anywhere. Yes, I'm you appa, but you have another father, just like how your friends have two parents. And this is your other father. Jungkook." Jimin said, engulfing sniffing Jungmin in his embrace.
"Hi, Jungmin. I'm sorry I didn't come to see you earlier. Would you be okay to call me as your father too?" Jungkook asks, holding out his hand towards Jungmin.
Jungmin stops sniffling. Instead, he looks at the man right in front of him. Slowly, he stands up, taking the man's hand in front of him and settles himself on his lap. He studies the man's face with a wide, glittering eyes.
"Can I call you daddy?" he whispers, scared that Jungkook wouldn't let him.
"Of course! You're my son after all." Jungkook said, wrapping his hands around Jungmin's small body. He eyes are teary again, but with a happy one. Jungkook glances at Jimin and finds him wiping his tears away. They're smiling at each other. Perhaps this is a good start after all.
They spend the rest of the day, playing around and getting around with one another. Jimin hates to admit it, but Jungmin is 100% Jungkook's son. Forget about how Jungmin's face always resemblance Jungkook's, now, even their personality is the same too. The same style, the same gestures, the same goofy side, everything. Everything about Jungmin is practically screaming Jungkook and that makes Jimin half salty and half happy.
Hey, he's the one who carries Jungmin in his stomach for 9 months you know? Of course he has the right to feel a bit salty.
"Oh yeah..... Before I forget. These are for you. And Jungmin too" Jungkook grins while handing the flower and the chocolate to Jimin.
For the first time, Jimin accepted his gifts without scowl on his face. Instead, he gave Jungkook a smile and a simple thank you.
Once Jungkook left his house, Jimin quickly take a look at the note attached to the full bloom rose. He gave the chocolate to Jungmin who's whining at the sight of the chocolate.
[Y]
'A full bloom red rose carries the meaning of 'I still love you'. That's why I gave you this flower. Jimin, no matter how many years it takes, how painful it gets, how lonely it would feel, I will always going to love and wait for you. Until my last breath'
-I'll be waiting for you-
Jimin glances at his son whose busy eating the chocolates. He walks towards his drawer and takes out all the notes that he has received from Jungkook. He puts them together in order and re-read the notes.
The words 'I M S O R R Y' at the front and 'Please give me a chance?' at the back can be read clearly now. He didn't know whether he should be thanking Yeein for keeping these notes that he throws or not. Part of him is glad that Yeein keep those notes for him and part of him didn't. He might not hate Jungkook as much now, but still, it wasn't easy for him to just forgive Jungkook.
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Three months passes by, Jungkook always makes his time to visit Jungmin and Jimin. Of course Yoongi and Jin knows about it. at first, Yoongi disagreed for Jungkook to visit as much especially when he's not there. Well, it might sound a bit too much, but Yoongi just didn't want Jimin to be hurt again. Especially not with Jungkook.
However, seeing how happy Jungmin is everytime Jungkook is around and how Jungkook treats Jimin, Yoongi finally tolerate about it. In these Three months, things are getting better for them. Jimin is getting closer to Jungkook but in a friendly way, and Jungkook is trying his best to make up for every mistakes that he did. Every single week, Jungkook will take Jungmin out for 'father-son bonding time' and Jimin never complaints about that. In fact, he's happy that Jungmin is spending time with Jungkook.
"Jimin.... ughh... do you... probably want to tag along this time?" Jungkook asks while taking Jungmin's backpack from Jimin's hand. They're going fishing again this weekend.
"No. have fun both of you" Jimin smiles at Jungkook while waving his hands towards excited Jungmin.
"Daddy come on! We're going to be late! I need to see Kookoo and Chichi" Jungmin drags his daddy's hand while waving excitedly towards his appa. He's too excited to meet his 'fish-friends' at the lake.
Of course, Jungkook takes a great effort asking Jimin to tag along whenever he's taking Jungmin out. But as always, Jimin would refuse. Yes, Jimin did agree to Jungmin and Jungkook's relationship. He feels like he has no right to separate the father and son as long as Jungkook didn't take Jungmin away from him. But for Jimin to accept Jungkook in his life again, he might not be ready for that.
Yes, he's slowly falling in love for Jungkook again but he's scared. The scars are too big and too deep to be forgotten. The memories are still fresh in his mind and he didn't want to repeat the same mistakes again. That's why, he refused all Jungkook's invitation.
Maybe it's better this way
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