updating cuz I have nothing better to do other than watching Orange is the New Black

so babes one thing I want y'all to do for me is to really empathise with Adriana. LIKE REALLY PUT YOURSELF IN HER SHOES! Because one of the things I wanted to achieve with this novel is to see if people would actually understand the main female character.

because some people are far too up Harry's ass and defend him too much and feel pity for him more than the girl. That shit ain't cool with me.

UNEDITED

≫≫≫

✧In the night when she comes crawling

Dollar bills and tears keep falling down her face✧

≫≫≫

"Adriana!"

  Harry called out loudly as soon as he stepped out of his car. Adriana, who was stood by the entrance of The Neon Demons club, started running towards him as soon as she heard him call her name. She felt her heart burst with relief at the sight of him, looking as if he had just rolled out of bed, dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants.

   "Harry!"

  Her dark eyes filled up with tears as he jogged towards her. He was caught off-guard when she crashed into him, throwing her arms around his shoulders and immediately breaking down into tears. Harry felt his heart fall quickly in his chest at the sound of her heavy, breathless sobs, lifting her and hugging her back tightly while she cried.

   "Baby, I'm here for you," he whispered to her ever so quietly, hand supporting the back of her head, stroking her hair while she buried her face into his neck.

  Harry felt the urge to cry too, finding it so hard to hear her sobbing with so much pain and fear in her tone. Every time he tried to pull away just a little bit to look at her, she clung to him, holding onto him even tighter as if she was afraid he would let her ago. As if she was afraid to leave the safety of his arms around her.

   "Love, you're hyperventilating," he murmured worriedly, this time firmly pulling away, but only enough to look at her.

  His heart almost shattered at the broken look on her face. Her mascara was running terribly, eyelashes clumped together from the tears that were endlessly flowing down her cheeks from her dark eyes. The tip of her nose was red and her cheeks were mottled, lips a dark pink from biting the flesh too many times. Harry caressed her cheeks and instructed her to breathe deeply, doing it himself so that she could follow him. Once she got her breathing rate back to normal, her crying lessened, eyes fluttering shut and a pained expression crossing her face when she thought about what just happened.

   "No, don't think about it, Adriana. Don't cry," he pulled her against him again, holding her to his chest as she sniffled quietly. "'Cause I'm gonna cry."

   "Harry," she simply said in a broken voice, the sound of it making Harry tear up a little and hug her tighter to his chest, refusing ot let her go.

  She wished she hadn't reacted so emotionally and just kicked that man's balls. She thought she was tough, she thought she had grown stronger over the years and knew how to handle that man, and she did. But the cocaine high was strong, and it messed her system up. It brought back those horrific hallucinations she used to experience just right before she stopped the usage briefly due to her pregnancy. The hallucinations were a sign that her addiction was at its worst stage now.

  Her thoughts disappeared temporarily when Harry pulled away, cupping her cheeks and gazing at her with glossy eyes. His pink lips pressed against her forehead in a gentle kiss, making the pain in her heart dull out just the tiniest bit. Harry then led her to his car, opening the door for her and making sure she's all buckled up safely before heading over to the driver's seat. Adriana pulled her coat tight around her body, cursing out loud when she just realized she left her duffel bag.

   "I'll go get it," Harry said quickly, unbuckling his belt as she shook her head.

   "No it's fin-"

   "Adriana, it's okay, just wait here," Harry told her, reaching over to place a kiss on her forehead before swinging his door open and jumping out.

  He quickly returned with her bag, keeping it in the backseat and then starting the car. Adriana requested for Harry to take her back to her apartment. A comfortable silence fell over them as Harry began driving, slight worry filling up his body as Adriana was left to her own thoughts, which could upset her again.

   "I-I'm sorry I didn't answer your calls or messages today," he spoke up after a few minutes, making her turn her head to look at him. She didn't say anything. "It was just stupid and childish of me. I'm really, terribly sorry, Adriana."

   "It's okay, Harry," she murmured quietly, but her tone seemed dead and empty, like she didn't care as much about him ignoring her anymore.

  Harry was now full on worried, anxious that what had happened changed her a little. But what he didn't know was that he needn't to worry about Adriana changing, because she herself knew she would get over this, just like she did after the many other times worse than this had happened. She was just trying to push away the dark thoughts that threatened her life as she sighed deeply, wrapping the coat firmer around herself to conceal her half naked body.

   "I got Morgan to give you a few days off," Harry said after a minute, making Adriana turn to look at him with a light frown.

   "Harry, I need to work and earn money. I've been saving up for the rent, and I just need a bit more-"

   "I'll pay the rent," Harry immediately said.

   "Harry, we've talked about this."

   "I'll pay the rent," Harry insisted firmly, green eyes flickering to meet hers, making her sigh and give up.

   "Harry," she tightened her frown and tone.

   "Adriana, please. Just please don't fight me on this, and let me do this one thing for you," Harry almost begged, making her avert her gaze to her lap and ponder a little. After a minute she murmured an 'okay'.

   "At least take what I've saved up and pay with that as well as a little bit of your money," Adriana mumbled under her breath, making Harry shake his head with a light smile.

   "No love, I'll pay it all with my money. Don't worry about anything tonight," he told her, hand reaching over the console to hold hers. "I just want you to rest, and know that I'm here for you. Always."

  Adriana felt her heart warm up a little at his words, a ghost of a smile playing on her lips as she squeezed Harry's hand thankfully, lacing their fingers together. Their hands stayed linked together for the whole ride home, even as they walked to her apartment building and stood in the elevator. Adriana's hand only left his briefly so that she could shuffle through her duffel bag to locate her keys, successfully finding it and unlocking the door.

  It was dark and cold in the apartment. Adriana didn't bother to turn the lights on, deciding to head straight to the room instead, with Harry following behind her. Harry noticed that there were two bedrooms, peering through the first one on the left and smiling lightly at the way at it was designed. It was Mateo's room. He then followed Adriana into hers, which was right next to it, marking the end of the hallway. It was small, with a queen sized bed and a fairly sized window. There was a long mirror set up by the corner with a dresser next to it, the wardrobe on the opposite side of the room.

  Adriana dropped her duffel bag to the floor and went over to the bed, dropping down with slumped shoulders and empty eyes. Her eyes were drooping from exhaustion, which for the first time she was thankful about because she could avoid the disgusting images of him and the man who assaulted her tonight, that kept popping up. Harry gazed at her with a sad pout, walking over to her and crouching down in front of her.

   "Adriana," he murmured quietly to get her attention, hands cupping her knees before slipping up to hold her hands that were clasped upon her lap. "I'm gonna run a bath for you, just wait here."

  He ducked down to press a soft kiss to her knuckles, before shooting her a light smile, standing up and heading to the bathroom that was in the hallway opposite Mateo's room. His mind formulated many questions while he sat on the edge of the bathtub and held his hand under the tap. When Adriana called him, all she could manage to say was his name, and that she needed him. After that all she said was to come and where she was. She didn't explain at all what had happened, which left Harry extremely worried and confused.

  A scowl etched upon his face when he thought about the way he acted today, ignoring her phone calls and messages just because he was upset over something stupid. He wanted to apologize again but he felt like she was too engrossed with what had happened tonight to even think about Harry's behavior today. Harry's thoughts dissipated when he saw Adriana appear in the open doorway of the bathroom, barefaced and without her trench coat, just her stripper outfit and her long hair tied up into a bun.

   "It's almost done," Harry told her, making her nod shortly and quietly.

  When the tub was all filled up, Harry stood up and turned the faucet off, wiping his hands against his sweatpants and looking up. His gaze landed on Adriana, curious as he tried to figure her out but she felt uncomfortable with him stood in front of her studying her face in detail.

   "Don't look at me," she murmured insecurely as she averted her gaze from his intense one. Fortunately enough he detected the reason why she said that.

   "Adriana," Harry whispered with wide eyes, hand reaching up to touch her cheek. "Love, you're so beautiful."

   "Was beautiful. The cocaine did this to me," she said bitterly, even though she knew it was her fault and she did this to herself.

  Harry didn't get a chance to say anything when he was asked to leave the bathroom so she could change and have her bath alone. Harry respected her and said that he would be waiting outside if she needed anything. When he left the bathroom, Adriana turned around and looked at the mirror. Grimacing inwardly at her sickly pale skin, protruding cheekbones and the few pimples that were dotted on her chin and sides of her forehead.

  She turned away from the mirror, disgusted by her appearance, and started stripping down. She felt vulnerable just by standing there naked, her mind immediately reminding her of those times he'd ask her to strip down for him. She shivered, arms immediately moving up to cover her bare chest as she walked towards the tub and eased a leg into the warm water. A sigh escaped her lips as she climbed in, feeling the hot water immediately ease her nerves and help her body relax a bit. But her mind was still chaotic.

  As she sat alone with a sponge in hand, the chemicals that still remained in her system as her use of cocaine that night toyed with her mind. Horrible images and memories were flashing right in front of her eyes of him violating her, touching her, tasting her, and fucking her.

  A tiny sob escaped her lips as she scrubbed her skin raw, moving her hand and the sponge faster and faster as the images just kept popping up, along with the sounds of his breathless grunts and her pained whimpers echoing in her ears. Her body felt dirty, disgusting, violated. Her ears pricked as she heard his voice, felt his breath for a second, which made her skin crawl until she had finally had enough. She threw the sponge at the water with a loud cry, causing an audible splash before bringing her hands back and cupping her ears, crying softly.

   "I can't I can't," she cried quietly under her breath, shaking her head slowly back and forth with her eyes screwed shut, over and over again.

   "Adriana?"

  She looked up when she heard Harry's voice, followed by a knock on the door.

   "Are you okay, babe? Do you want me to come in?"

  "Y-Yes, please," she found herself saying, arms wrapping around her bare bust and knees drawing up to her chest as the door handle jiggled.

  He walked in with a worried expression etched onto his face, hand running through his lengthy curls as he approached her and sat on the floor near the tub. His gaze was locked with hers as he tried his hardest not to gaze at her with sympathy, instead with adoration and reassurance. Her eyes fluttered close as her face contorted with pain, tears threatening to spill, making Harry pull his brows low and murmur quietly to her.

   "Shhh oh baby," Harry whispered, finding it hard to hide the pity in his tone. "Tell me what happened."

  She swallowed thickly, looking at him with glossy dark eyes as she nodded in response. She knew she had to explain to him at some point.

   "I was dancing for a customer, until he grabbed me and forced himself on me," she told him quietly, making his eyes widen with anger. "He managed to touch me, down there before Morgan came and got him off."

  She explained quite quickly, not wanting to linger and provide detailed explanations. She had left out the bit where she had a hallucination of someone from her past, and thought it was him the whole time. She didn't want to lie to him about that but if she told him about the hallucinations, then she'd have to explain who he is, and she wasn't ready for that at all. She told herself she'd tell him about getting random hallucinations as a result of her long-term use of cocaine at some point.

   "Fuck Adriana," Harry cursed angrily all the sudden, "I'm gonna-fuck."

   "Harry, it's okay-"

   "It's not fucking okay, this man sexually assaulted you," Harry responded with a tight frown, bright eyes glinting with anger with his dark brows pulled tightly over them. "Did he get arrested?"

   "I don't know, Harry," she murmured, wishing he didn't have to get angry now.

  His anger faded away suddenly when Harry's gaze landed on Adriana's arms, which were red due to the harsh scrubbing she was doing before he walked in. He reached out to take her hands in his, turning her arms upwards so he was looking at her forearms where the skin had reddened.

   "I-I just scrubbed too hard," she murmured quickly as he nodded a little.

  He read somewhere that rape or sexual assault victims take baths or showers to cleanse their minds and bodies because of the feeling of violation that had tainted them. He felt his heart hurt at the thought when he stared at Adriana's arms, ducking down to press his soft, pink lips against the reddened area on one arm and then the next. Before he could kiss every inch of red skin, Adriana pulled her arms away and cupped his cheeks with her wet hands, quickly tugging him forwards to place a soft, lingering kiss on his lips.

   "Thank you, Harry. For taking care of me," she whispered against his lips quietly, dark eyes gazing into his light ones with utter gratefulness. "Thank you for being there for me when I needed you."

   "I'll always be here," he murmured back, his hand coming over one of hers, which was on his cheek, turning to press a kiss to the inside of her palm. "I care about you, my love. So much. I'll always be here to take care of you."

   He wanted to add, "even if we're not together", but he wasn't sure what that would've done to the conversation. Adriana simply found herself being overwhelmed with his words, and the support he was offering, resting her forehead against his and kissing his perfect lips once again. Fortunately enough, the conversation drifted to something much lighter, like Mateo when Harry questioned where he was Adriana explained that he stays over with his neighbor whenever she has to work late, which was why he wasn't home. She usually picked him up the next morning because she didn't want to disturb anyone at night.

   "Thank you, also, for offering to pay for the rent," Adriana spoke up again, making Harry almost chuckle.

   "Don't thank me, honestly, I'd do it for you any day," he told her sincerely, making her smile ever so slightly, making him grin a little.

   "Harry, I don't know what I'd do without you," she murmured honestly, her words making his cheeks flush and heart warm up a little. "I used to be able to afford this apartment when I was working for the ballet company, but ever since I lost that job I've been struggling. Mateo really loves this apartment and having his own room, and I have Jazmín next door so I couldn't find myself wanting to move into something shittier."

   "Adriana, you lost your job at the ballet company?" Harry frowned a little, making her nod solemnly. "I thought you just chose to leave."

   "No, Harry. I was fired," she murmured quietly, as Harry listened attentively with slightly wide eyes because she was actually opening up about a bit of her past.

   "Why?"

   "Because I was doing cocaine before a show. Someone snitched on me after the show and I was immediately fired," she explained briefly, making him swallow thickly with a gaze that made her nod and sigh. "Yeah this addiction is a real bitch."

   "You can get out of it, I know you can," Harry immediately said, making her shrug a little.

    "Harry, the withdrawal symptoms are even worse than the effects of doing the actual drug itself," she stated in a bitter tone, making his eyebrows slope downwards.

   "You keep staying stuff like that, indicating that you don't even want to try. Maybe-"

   "You wanna know why I'm reluctant to try? Actually, you think I haven't fucking tried?" Adriana found herself snapping at him, offended. "I have a son, Harry. Don't you think I care about him enough to change myself?"

   "Adriana," he said with wide eyes, feeling regret flood him as she stood up from the bathtub. He stood up along with her, keeping his eyes on her face as he handed her a towel muttering, "I-I."

   "You don't understand, Harry. You don't understand how emotionally, physically and mentally draining the withdrawal symptoms are. I even went through them during my pregnancy, and it was horrific. I thought I wasn't going to make it, going for 9 months straight without cocaine. But I did: for Mateo. However, lately, with the load of shit that's going on in my life, I haven't actually gotten the motivation to try stopping again," she continued ranting in frustration, using a slightly sarcastic tone towards the end, as she wrapped a towel around her naked wet body while Harry stood up.

   "Baby wait please, I didn't mean it like that-"

   "Yes you did, Harry," she spun around and gazed at him with a glare.

   "Okay and I did, and I'm sorry," he said a little loudly, holding her in place to stop her from walking away from him. "I'm so so so sorry, god Adriana, I do the stupidest things sometimes, I say the stupidest things and I really didn't meant to hurt you or offend you. Please, Princess, I don't want to fight you now."

  Adriana felt her anger vanish away gradually as he spoke, breathing heavily as she nodded slowly in understanding. From what Adriana could tell, Harry was a bit naïve and really did remind her of a baby. A child who was stubborn when they were upset, or does the silent treatment and says things or does things without thinking them through first. Harry was like that and Adriana understood him for now, but she couldn't keep justifying his behavior using those same reasons again.

  Without any hesitation, Harry wrapped his arms around her shoulders, nothing caring that she was still wet from the bath. He felt his heart falling slowly when she didn't hug him back, making him pout hard and want to cry a little because he felt so bad for saying what he said and doing what he did earlier today. But then his heart soared in his chest when he felt her arms wrap around his torso firmly, face burying into the crook of his neck, feeling her lips kiss his skin there.

   "It's okay, Harry," she told him in her own way of forgiving him, hearing him sigh in relief. "Let's just go sleep now."

  Harry pulled away from her and nodded, shooting her a small, dimpled grin. To his surprise, she smiled back because it was hard not to. His smile was contagious. She turned to fish out a new toothbrush for him, both of them brushing their teeth together once she did find one. After that, they exited the bathroom and headed to the bedroom where Adriana pulled some nightclothes on while Harry contemplated on whether or not to keep his clothes on.

   "Should I keep my clothes on or just the t-shirt or just the sweatpants?"

   "Babe, I'm fine with whatever, really," she told him as she brushed her hair out, knowing his intentions as he nodded in response and only took his t-shirt off.

  When they climbed into bed, Adriana immediately crawled over to Harry and wrapped her arms around his torso. He pulled the sheets over them before he tangled their legs together, winding his arms around her torso and holding her to his chest. Adriana traced the swallow tattoos on his chest, forehead pressing against his as they held each other like they would never let go. She then looked up, hand moving from his chest to caress his cheek, closing her eyes letting her lips kiss his ever so softly.

   "I've fallen for you Harry Styles."

  Harry felt his heart race at her words, eyes flying open and gazing at her as she gazed back, a ghost of a smile on her lips, thumb stroking his cheek.

   "I've fallen for you hard Adriana Decoux," Harry murmured in response.

   "And I want you Harry, all of you," she continued to say, making Harry's brows furrow slightly.

   "Does this mean-"

   "Yes it does," she answered, already knowing his question. "I've been on my own for too long, and I know I have Mateo, but I need you. I need you and Mateo to be the good in my life that keeps me sane, that keeps me going."

   "But that fight we had earlier, there's gonna be many like that and I have to know that you're willing to put up with all of that just to be with me," Adriana whispered while she stroked his cheek, making him nod immediately.

   "I am. I know it's gonna be tough, but I know we can do this. We can make it work," Harry said firmly, frowning lightly when Adriana chuckled ever so quietly under her breath.

   "You have so much faith us, so optimistic, " Adriana said with a sigh, before she noticed the look he gave her. "Okay, yeah I know I'm pessimistic."

   "Just a teeny tiny bit," Harry scrunched his nose up adorably as he held up his hand with his index and thumb fingers emphasizing his words. "But it's okay, I like that we're opposites, Princess."

   "Princess?" Adriana arched a brow at him in amusement.

   "I'm your boyfriend now! I can call you Princess all I want now!" Harry exclaimed in defense, making her giggle a little at his words.

  This was what she liked about Harry, after the horrible events of that night he was able to make her laugh and smile. She felt better about her decision the more they talked, listening to Harry ramble with an excited grin about going on a first date soon and taking her and Mateo out for amusement parks and everything. He apologized profusely if whatever he was saying was over the top and extreme, but he was just excited and she was already used to him being extreme in this way.

  That night when she fell asleep in Harry's arms, she felt secure in his arms, safe and sound. With his strong tattooed arms holding her against his chest, his warm body pressed against hers, she had a peaceful sleep that night where even the cocaine demons couldn't disrupt it.

≫≫≫

∙ Yay they're finally together now !! Thoughts on that chapter?

Idk about y'all but I feel an immense amount of empathy for people who struggle through drug abuse and have survived sexual assault and rape, like Adriana. like writing this stuff makes me wanna cry sometimes cuz it's so unfair ):

∙ If any of you lovelies read and enjoyed 6 Man, it would be amazing if y'all voted for the book in the Fanfiction Awards 2017, 'cause it's nominated for best Fanfiction plot.

The book to vote in is in my first reading list on my profile "ONLY ANGEL" and there's more info on how to vote in 6 Man itself, the latest chapter.

∙ Also I'm close to finishing the planning of Heavy Crown my new fanfic so all I've got to do is start writing a couple of chapters to get going!

Hella excited for this one y'all! I love historical shit and Prince Harry smut makes me horny idk why.

Until we meet again...

thiora♡